Re: It's 2016, why are people still not thinking things through....
But they guy was genuine. He had an Apple t-shirt and everything.
6840 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009
I didn't down vote you but I expect it's possible to fix the WiFi card issue, especially if you have a wired connection. I always offer it to the people who come to me complaining about a malicious Windows 10 upgrade that's broken their WiFi. Invariably they've said "No, just roll it back to Windows 7".
Haemorrhoids are just the revenge phase of where you inserted the damned phone to begin with when it completely failed to retain a context to the discussion.
"Hey Siri, what time does the Tesco in Warwick close?"
"I found three entries for Tesco in Warwick. The first is Tesco Metro on Hayes Walk. Is that the one you mean?"
"No. I meant the Tesco Extra."
"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean by the Tesco Extra."
"Siri what time does the Tesco Extra in Warwick close?"
"I found three entries for Tesco in Warwick. The first is Tesco Metro on Hates Walk. Is that the one you mean?"
"FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! You are not going to see the light of day for the next three hours, you unintelligent piece of shit."
"I'm sorry. I don't understand what you mean....*mmmph, mmmph, gurgle, babble, mmmmpphphh*"
Holy crap! That is freakin' bizzare. What's all the Dr Who furry caterpillar acrobatics about? Did they dig something out that had been trapped for 14 million years? When they come to open the (*spit*) Elizabeth Line, I hope it's a much more English affair. Sadiq Khan with a tartan thermos of tea, looking at his watch every now and again, reading the Metro until the train pulls in to the platform and he gets up and says "Ay. S'all-reet that is. It'll do, I reckon."
Standing in the vast mouth of the tunnel, overcome with awe, the Imam says to the others, "Alhamdulillah! The inside of a mountain is indeed a holy place. This reminds me, it was in a cave in a mountain where Allah revealed the holy Qu'ran to The Prophet, peace be upon him."
The Catholic priest says "Hail Mary, mother of God! Mountains are magical, mystical places. This tunnel reminds me that it was in a hole in a mountain, surrounded by rock, where Our Lord Jesus Christ's body lay for three days before he was resurrected."
The Pastor says "Quite, quite. Praise God, rock of ages. Since time immemorial a place of safety. I am reminded that The Old Testament tells us it was in caves in the mountains that the people of Israel hid from persecution by the Midianites."
Nodding sagely in religious contemplation the three await the Rabbi's comment. After a few moments of silence, they realise the Rabbi isn't with them any more. Looking around, they see him running down the tunnel, robes billowing out behind him. "Hey!" they cry out after him. "Where are you going?"
"Hallelujah! I saw the sign pointing towards Switzerland and it reminded me of where the Nazi's hid my family's gold!"
I've had a similar thing.
Called the helpdesk by phone on a number that they didn't know I had:
Yes, I know that's not the procedure... all jobs have to be submitted either by web portal or to the automated email address which logs it in the job system... the ability to log jobs taken by phone has gone from the ticketing system?... Which grand muppet dreamt that one up? ... The problem? Well, the network appears to be down in our building... Yes, it's the whole building... As it happens there IS a mini digger outside... they're installing a beach bar for the students... yes, it's non-alcoholic - this IS the medical school building you know... Yes, I know doctors are one of the worst groups for alcohol abuse, but more than half the students are Muslims and they took a vote. Anyway, to get back to the problem, no network in the entire building... No, I don't have a VOIP phone obviously... I don't CARE if the policy was to replace POTS with VOIP to save costs. I like my POTS phone and I managed to hide it in a drawer when I saw your "engineer" coming down the corridor with a trolley and a wheelie bin... You still want me to log the job on the web portal... without a functioning network... Yes, even the wireless is down... So how do I?... The Learning Centre? That's in our building too... The Learning Centre on YOUR campus... Yes, I do have a travel card...
I'm voting Leave, but I'm hoping the result will be Stay by the tiniest of margins.
Why? Because I believe in Europe as an entity and an identity, but it has huge problems. I wouldn't want to leave, but I'd like to rock the boat hard enough that the rest of the occupiers stop arguing about whether to call the stuff filling the bilge "water", "wasser" or "l'eau" and actually acknowledge that something needs to be done quickly about stopping us sinking and why the hell did we rip out all the watertight compartment bulkheads in the first place?
Standardisation: This is useful, though many of them are International Standards (ISO), nothing really to do with the EU other than either being ratified by the EU or competing with an EU standard. For some reason e.g. the consumer tech industry seems to negotiate new standards quite alright on its own, TYVM. Usually on a development cycle which sees obsolescence of "standards" around the time that nations are ready to adopt them - call it evolution if you will.
Emergency Coverage: As a humanitarian, I think that it's our duty as a citizen of the world to offer money, skills, equipment, time etc to relieve suffering caused by environmental or even man made disaster.
Socialism: I prefer the term "capital socialist". Where the profit of enterprise is shared amongst those who contributed to that profit. The means of production is owned by the producer. That's equality of return to the contributor, by coin, labour, thought or deed; not being content with the sweepings from the venture capitalist's table who only put up the money.
Travel: For visiting other countries, it's useful, but no great hardship to get the appropriate visa or permit. It's not like travelling hundreds of miles is such a daily event that it becomes burdensome to incorporate permissions in your travel planning.
Defence: Meh. What do I know? We need an armed force to represent our interests globally, either in humanitarian relief, policing / surveillance or just generally because. It will still happen, be it in tandem with EU forces, NATO forces, USA forces etc etc
Rights: Would have happened anyway; its called social evolution. We need to keep an eye on abuses by bosses of all kinds, but there's enough local / national variation within the EU anyway.
Trade: This is a big one. I was watching that thing about a hovercraft factory unable to trade with Brazil because of a lack of trade agreements which could reduce the tariff to be competitive. We need to sort shit like this out, as well as avoiding the quagmire of TTIP.
Law: That an EU court can override a UK court is both a blessing and a curse. Having higher courts, of course, just drags out the legal process by way of providing endless avenues of appeal. "You've had your day in court" seems like it's become "You've had your day in court, same time next week?"
Migration & Citizenship: This is the big one for me. Having no control over the rate of growth of your population makes it impossible to plan for societal needs. We've already seen 300k pa incoming, a 200k pa housebuilding target and a 170k pa realisation of new homes. This leads to artificially high demand in the housing market, driving prices up, whilst the same cause drives the bulk of wages down, but the executive pay goes up because houses are so expensive nowadays. Human life is cheap, so they say. Then there's the imbalance between an EU citizen's rights to live and work wherever compared to commonwealth citizens who have to jump through hoops to get a visa. As I've said before elsewhere, my girlfriend came here from Nigeria to study law. She needed £20k in the bank and a firm offer from a university to come here, but is only allowed to legally work 20 hours a week to support her living expenses. Yet there's a student sat outside this room right now who has come from Estonia to study biochemistry, needed no funds in the bank, could get a UK student loan, can do paid work of 40+ hours a week and basically only came here because they had a firm offer. What kind of equality is that? I'd like to see EU citizens convicted of serious crimes deported back to their home country and denied the right of re-entry, the same as can be done for other nationalities. Cameron says that it's Britain's strong economy that is a draw for EU migration, but (1) it's only relatively strong compared to eastern and southern european states, we're not exhibiting massive, independent growth and (2) what made them think that free movement of peoples when there are social and economic gradients within the EU would not be a problem? If there are parts of Europe that aren't doing so well even with membership of the EU, what kind of a club is that to be in? There's no relegation zone in the EU. Mind you, there's no promotion zone either. Why can Britain do better economically if other EU countries can't? It can't be down to EU membership - plain and simple. Surely some nations must be suffering if a lot of their mobile workforce can come here to find jobs? They'd rather pick fruit in the UK for £6 an hour than work as whatever in their own country?
In brief, if the EU mechanisms were made more cost-efficient, if the legislative powers were tempered and more directed, if entry visas (and thus access to social/welfare support) were reintroduced across the EU and quotas could be enforced, then I think there's no argument left for the leave camp. I don't think there's a country in the EU that ISN'T suffering from these issues. Some just don't wish to tackle the elephants in the room, but until that happens nationalist parties will find a route to power, and THAT'S the risk of war in Europe. More risk of war if we remain and fail to address the concerns of the people. That's why I hope we don't actually exit, but we send a clear message that even us easy going British types have strong concerns. We don't want to be the economic lifeboat of Europe; we don't have the space!
Why isn't there a management speak flag?
Anyway, I've had a new one today.
"The draft roadmap is on Sharepoint now. Make any changes to the roadmap that you think are needed, but make sure you cloud them."
Yes. Cloud is now a verb with a second meaning - share on the internet.
So when management talk about "Engaging with stakeholders and sharing their vision." they mean "Talking at staff and clouding the issue."
It all makes sense now.
Is that what people think green belt is? Gated communities in the Home Counties? In my neck of the woods, they'll bulldoze roads across playing fields, concrete over allotments, cut wildlife corridors in half, backfill natural pools and generally nibble away at the only farmland left in London. Slice after slice of pasture being built over until Harrow merges into Wembley, Watford merges into Harrow, Rickmansworth merges into Watford... Whereas our local gated community, Moor Park, has remained pretty much exactly as it is. They've enough money to buy the fields and leave them as they are, thank you very much, whilst 400 home megaplex's spring up next to the 1 in 100 flood plain, that floods every 5 years now because of land recovery and flood defences built 15 miles upstream so that another 1000 home megaplex could be built there... and so on and so on until you can walk to work balcony to balcony on floor 15.
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