* Posts by TRT

6163 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

TRT
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Re: Well the smoking gang...

A hand held umbrella is apparel rather than a structure. If it's supported by being sat on or stuck into the ground, however, then it is a structure. Even temporary structures are counted - you can search for a government FAQ which asks the question "If I hold a party by invitation to, say a wedding and put a marquee up in my garden, then do the regulations apply?" and the answer is something like "Yes, because it's a structure to which the public have been invited and even if the marquee has roll up walls the law still applies and the tent must display a sign to that effect. If you have employed someone to serve food, drink or other entertainment, even on a voluntary basis, then the area becomes classed as a workplace."

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TRT
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I used to think that of our marketing team, but it appeared that they could. What they did have difficulty with, however, was synergising the buttocks with the target demographic to realise an enhanced uptake of a broadened product table.

I then realised that although they could come up with the same number repeatedly, that number was incorrect as they'd failed to count the buttocks positioned above their shoulders.

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TRT
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Re: Well the smoking gang...

They removed the walls from our smoking shelter when the new law came in. I thought that was a bit mean really. Then they removed the shelter altogether when they declared the entire site non-smoking.

I am reminded of this gem:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvjS_c1U6zs

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TRT
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I was expecting her to file some sort of sexual harassment charge...

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TRT
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Well the smoking gang...

shouldn't be smoking in a bus shelter really. Definitely not in London, as all TfL bus shelters are non-smoking under TfL by-law. The same holds true for most other dense population centres - maybe not so in the more rural councils, but if the structure is 50% or more enclosed then it's illegal under the UK law.

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Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do

TRT
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Re: parallel parking

My car already parallel parks by itself. It's very good at it really, but it is very, very slow and requires a space around 2.5 times the length of the vehicle. This inevitably leads to someone else nipping in to the spare space whilst the car is busy parking itself.

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Butcher breaks out of own freezer using black pudding

TRT
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Re: This is a serious problem.

I suppose a small heating element wound into the button would do the trick.

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TRT
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Re: This is a serious problem.

I suspect he let frost build up around the control which physically prevented the mechanism from moving. It would be near the door of course, and thus subject to frequent bursts of warmer, moist air. Melt, refreeze, repeat for years on end.

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TRT
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Alternative approach...

Use some English mustard to melt the ice.

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UK.gov puts Suffolk 7-year-old's submarine design into production

TRT
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Was the sky blue and the sea green?

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Taiwanese cops give malware-laden USB sticks as prizes for security quiz

TRT
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Oh now you've reminded me of a text based golf game from the 70s... IIRC you were given a list of characteristics about the hole and the wind then you had to choose a club, a power setting and a bearing. You were rewarded with an outcome - lost ball, bunker, rough, fairway, green, hole and a new list of targets and bearings.

Completely text based, nowadays it seems mad, but at the time it was quite addictive.

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Hold on to your aaSes: Yup, Windows 10 'as a service' is incoming

TRT
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Re: "So you're still running CPM yeah?"

There's a difference between making improvements or advancements or enhancements or adding features or whatever you want to call it and innovation which is creating a new method, idea or product.

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TRT
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Timeline...

Innovative. Aka "Recent documents ++"

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TRT
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So that's what it is!

"keeping compatibility with a large user base on old versions of Windows restricts its ability to innovate."

I did wonder what was holding them back; but "users" was such an obvious answer I don't know why I didn't think of it before.

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UK exam chiefs: About the compsci coursework you've been working on. It means diddly-squat

TRT
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Re: Put a lot of effort into something that'll never see the light of day ?

And don't forget to allocate 15% of the time to investigating and documenting variances between the actual operation of, and the available documentation for, any frameworks you are using.

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If Australian animals don't poison you or eat you, they'll BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE

TRT
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Re: He was being sarcastic

More sardonic, I think.

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TRT
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IT Angle

So basically...

A vulture will pick up something smouldering and then run with it, spreading wildfires, just for the sake of a tasty morsel?

And where's the IT angle to that, then?

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Meltdown, Spectre: The password theft bugs at the heart of Intel CPUs

TRT
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Re: Ooh look.... Shiny!!!

Also known as the hardware distraction layer.

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Now that's sticker shock: Sticky labels make image-recog AI go bananas for toasters

TRT
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Re: The procedure

Multiple object detection... reports top banana, bottom toaster.

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TRT
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Re: Great

Aah, so you're a waffle man.

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Soz, guys. No 'alien megastructure' around Tabby's Star, only cosmic dustbunnies

TRT
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Re: because we'd be able to hear it from here...

No, because sound doesn't propagate in a vacuum.

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TRT
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You want to turn the sun into a Klacks tower?

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Brazil says it has bagged Royal Navy flagship HMS Ocean for £84m

TRT
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Re: actual profit..

Renamed as MS Pacific Princess. Under Captain Stubing. Profit is in leisure nowadays.

And THAT'S a formula that's scientifically proven.

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TRT
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Re: Whats in a name: HMS Ocean.

I thought it was part of a private sponsorship deal... HMS Ocean Finance.

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We've heard of data gravity – we're just not sure how to defy it yet

TRT
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Re: Dave McCrory a.k.a. the Newton of Data Management

He should stick to cat flaps.

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TRT
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Re: General Relativity Theory for data?

You are onto something, I think. Have you ever looked into the wiring cabinet of a data centre? Spaghettification effect, in your face.

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TRT
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I reckon an Apple fell on his head.

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TRT
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"that anyone with any practical experience already knew?"

You'd hope, wouldn't you? But there are places where the people in charge, the PHBs etc are a bit hard-of-thinking and insist on and write policies forcing e.g. all data gathered in the expensive London centre to be piped hundreds of miles to the cheap DC located in a marsh with low land values, before being piped back to the London for analysis then piped back to the swamp... repeat ad infinitum.

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Windows 10 Hello face recognition can be fooled with photos

TRT
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Wipe to login.

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TRT
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Star Wars clone troopers?

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Kent woman to season festive dinner with her mother's ashes

TRT
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Re: But what if you don't love your Mother very much?

Grit the path with them?

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TRT
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Re: Quote of the Month......

Totally new meaning to the retort "Eating your mum".

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PHWOAR, those noughty inks: '0.1%' named Stat of The Year

TRT
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The UK has much more in the way of peat bogs (9.4 per cent).

They said 'e were daft to build t'castle in t'swamp...

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Erase 2017 from your brain. Face ID never happened. The Notch is an illusion

TRT
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Re: The future is here!

Only if it does that swooshy laser line up and down the pad.

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UK.gov delays biometrics strategy again – but cops will still use the tech

TRT
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Re: Simple solution:

I see what you were saying there. It's such the normal case that I didn't immediately recognise why you had picked on that. The state does what it will and with little accountability.

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TRT
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Re: Simple solution:

Is ANPR biometrics then? Unless the acronym refers to something other than Automatic Number-Plate Recognition.

Arse, Nose and Posture Recognition?

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Brit banks told to publish details of major incidents that stop punters' payments

TRT
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Re: These conspiracies are getting worse every year!

Do you have some sort of comparative evidence for this?

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TRT
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Why is it good news for consumer choice?

When, retrospectively, you fill in the register of TITSUP events for the last five years and you find consumers can't choose a bank that has a perfect record, because there isn't one.

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How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

TRT
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Re: Salt water...

It's powered by the tears of BT customers.

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TRT
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Do you have a driver for that?

Thing

Which is an

Interesting

Network

Enabler.

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Pickaxe chops cable, KOs UKFast data centre

TRT
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Re: Take a look at yourself

The DR plan is not so much "all eggs in one basket" as, we have a battery farm on standby which can bring the egg quota back to nominal levels within an acceptable timescale as detailed in the SLA. We just whip out the corks...

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TRT
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Re: Tesla Has a Battery to Prevent This!

Wow! I remember those glass cell battery backups from when I was a nipper - my mum's best mate worked on the hospital telephone exchange, and the room behind her station was packed full of them.

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TRT
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I'm firmly of the opinion...

that most of these road planning disasters are the result of a decision taken, must have been around 1991, to remove the ban on bringing coffee mugs into the planning room where all the blue-prints are laid out. It's the only explanation I can think of for the bizarre appearance, over the last three decades, of tens of thousands of roundabouts with no additional roads connecting into them, offset from the natural flow of the traffic by about two lanes width, overlapping with each other or just plain badly built - planners putting their coffee mugs down on top of the road planning documents.

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Millions of moaners vindicated: Man flu is 'a thing', says researcher, and big TVs are cure

TRT
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"For many acute respiratory diseases...

males are also more susceptible to complications and exhibit a higher mortality."

RIP Keith Chegwin.

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Netflix silent about ridicule as it discusses punters' viewing habits

TRT
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Isn't this...

Just the same as Spotify's recent campaign? I think one went along the lines of "To the person with the playlist 'So lonely in London', Are you alright?"

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YouTuber cements head inside microwave oven

TRT
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Re: On the Internet nobody knows your a dog.

Pr0n0 time...

Boom-chikka-chihuahua

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TRT
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SkippyBing! Sounds a bit like a broken clockwork microwave timer.

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UK.gov law resources now untrustworthy, according to browsers

TRT
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Re: That's not UK Gov Law, it is UK.GOV JUSTICE

I thought 'justice' was the standard reply to the question asked, when called to the bar, "What would you like in your single malt whisky, your honour?"

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TRT
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Bizarre...

I must get at least 4 email warning a day for the month leading up to a certificate expiry date. Even AFTER I've paid for and installed the new certificate. It drive me insane, TBH.

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It's a decade since DevOps became a 'thing' – and people still don't know what it means

TRT
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Re: Yawn...

I thought it meant single-person software companies.

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