* Posts by TRT

6163 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Virgin Media finally turns an annual profit

TRT
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I'e always found...

that the VM forum is the best place to get customer service. They have techs who regularly wander through there sorting things out. Recent dealings with Virgin...

Good.

V+ box was playing up - replaced with a new one within two weeks, no charge.

Not able to remotely access my router - rebooted the DOCSIS modem via their website from work. Cool.

Remote control didn't have codes for my weird Swedish telly. Asked for a new one and got it free of charge. They asked a passing engineer to drop it off on the way past to save on postage.

Bad.

Blatant lies. Engineer who came to replace V+ box didn't show and they claimed he knocked and phoned my landline. Trouble is, I didn't get a landline as they had no spare capacity in the roadside box.

The newer combi-modems don't have modem mode or support DynDNS. Little sympathy from customer services about it.

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Olympus goes retro with µFT snapper

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Looks good from the front, but the back is pretty grotty.

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Laser boffins blast bits onto hard drive at 200Gb/sec

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Yeah. They crashed.

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Has Microsoft finally killed off Windows 8 Start button?

TRT
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Ah, right. OK. So there is the possibility of restoring the old style, because the appropriate folders will still be there?

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TRT
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Installers for programs written for Windows 8. What about legacy software?

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TRT
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Launchpad

That's the baby, yes.

But no-one's tackled my question yet of just what will old installers that try to create start menu short cuts do?

And... Where will they put the most important button? That's the Shutdown button. And, for that matter, the button that's essential for Windows... Restart.

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TRT
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Oh, that silly full screen thing with all the icons in OSX Lion. I've avoided it myself.

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TRT
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11? I'm sure I typed 3.1.

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TRT
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FAIL

Isn't that how it used to work in Windows 11? And given that Apple has just created that screw up that is the Launch Centre...

At least make it an option, though. And how will old installers cope?

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Google goggles with Terminator HUD 'coming soon'

TRT
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Coat

The other side...

is mostly ARMless.

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TRT
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Predator!

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TRT
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Virtual keyboard!

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Parliament ponders £400,000 iPads-for-MPs plan

TRT
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Yeah, but...

just think of the speeches.

"I have in my hand an iPad..."

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Conclusive proof of human activity causing glacier to vanish

TRT
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Coat

What noise does a glacial ice cube make?

Clink.

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Prehistoric cricket love songs recreated for your listening pleasure

TRT
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Old sponges

If the one in my old bathroom in the shared house is anything to go by, "pong!"

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TRT
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Devil

Hm. What would you burn for that event? Ah yes; the infidel. >:->

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TRT
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I remember the pre-history of cricket...

before The Ashes.

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Loyal NASA rover Opportunity enters 9th year of Mars boffinry

TRT
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21 miles in 9 years...

That's quicker than digging the Channel Tunnel!

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Man vanquishes robot cop in hand-to-hand combat

TRT
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Joke

What did the desk sergeant say to the police dog?

Nice collar, Danno.

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Boffins quarrel over ridding world of leap seconds

TRT
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Well, before it becomes a problem...

we'll have to re-write the whole damned book anyway because of those pesky neutrinos that seem to have no regard for the length of a second anyway.

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Virgin Media broadband goes titsup for 3 hours

TRT
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Facepalm

Yeah...

It was flaky all night and into this morning, resulting in me missing an email about a change of venue for the training course I was supposed to be on today.

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Raspberry Pi Linux micro machine enters mass production

TRT
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@AC

That's weird. Mind you - similar solutions for similar problems. WTF? What's that bottle of pills doing on my desk? Dried frog? I take powdered wahoonie root tablets.

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TRT
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Happy

Indeed

I still have a home-hacked ISA multi-IO card in my cupboard because I wanted more than 4 IDE devices on my Win95 box.

And when I built a Maplin Speech Synthesiser card for my Vic-20 as a teen, I wanted to use it with my RAM pack, so converted the connector to use the User I/O port instead.

Talking of Commodore, I found a bad request on the Crossrail document portal caused the server to report a Guru Meditation code. :-)

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Microsoft revives flight sim by giving it away free

TRT
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Rule 34.1

If it exists, there is Sim of it.

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TRT
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What about...

Garbage Truck Simulator?

It exists. I suppose it's a bit like rule 34, really. Rule 34.1 Sims are also pr0n.

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US killer spy drone controls switch to Linux

TRT
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Initial resistance to Linux...

was the (incorrect it turns out) belief by the airforce that their pilots would cause penguins to fall over.

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Area 51 to host sci-fi knocking shop

TRT
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Zev from Lexx?

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TRT
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FAIL

What?

No mention of anal probes?

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Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

TRT
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It only looked like a taser. It was fired by that cop wearing a long, dark robe, who kept his hideously scarred face concealed.

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iPhone users get iJustHadAShag bedpost-notch boast app

TRT
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But...

If I visit a prostitute, do I have to pay Apple a cut?

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TRT
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Holmes

Well...

I wondered how to record my purchase of an Axminster. Now there's an app for that.

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The moment a computer crash nearly caused my car crash

TRT
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Big Brother

The cruise control on my Prius goes into an odd error mode every now and again. The light will flash on the dash and the computer refuses to take command of the throttle. The solution is to stop, shutdown, reboot. Simple. I don't know what causes it, but it seems to be when you have to suspend the cruise and there's some sort of differential input on the axle torque/position sensors. In a Prius, it's unnervingly obvious that the computer is in control - it can even park itself hands-off.

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Carol singers rejoice at pay-by-tap credit card donations

TRT
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The NFC chip was incorporated into the chip & PIN chip, so I used a spot-face cutter, a magnifying glass and a very powerful laboratory light source to locate and break the aerial wires.

It's only my credit card for online use (for the protections built-in and I chose one with an online fraud guarantee), so I don't need it to work in a shop as I'm never going to use it there. I would certainly like to have the choice of what technologies my card uses!

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TRT
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Flame

Credit cards already have contact-less payments built in

Mine don't anymore.

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Next Dr Who game to leave Xboxers in the cold

TRT
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Well if the trailer was anything to go by... it's already included in iTunes - just hit the visualisation option.

I mean, seriously. Is that supposed to sell the game?

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TV writer quells rumours of Doctor Who movie

TRT
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Although...

If whatever event occurs at the climax of a prequel was dramatic enough and timey-wimey enough, the Doctor could be fragmented and end up as (1) The one that gets sent back in time by Omega in Lungbarrow, (2) The Valeyard, (3) The Doctor and (4) The Watcher.

They've done temporal fragmentation stories before (e.g. City of Death).

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TRT
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Pff!

Nah, I just wondered what would happen if you threw Enemy of the State, Minority Report and Paycheck in a bucket and mixed them up before pouring it into a Dr. Who mould.

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TRT
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Well....

I am actually a massive UFO fan, and the best thing about that programme was that they didn't ever establish anything definite about the aliens. The ambiguity and intrigue was crucial to both the drama and the number of non-canon, contradictory things that happened. That was British, and I suspect something about the British psyche allows a level of ambiguity that American audiences won't tolerate. Except maybe now they've caught up and gone beyond the UK in that respect. I'm thinking of LOST here; I was. Hated that show after Season 1.

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TRT
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YES!!!

I was wondering who could do that role with the voice and all.

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TRT
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Holmes

Not necessarily...

There's plenty of room for a prequel. Something that might chronicle the Doctor's flight from Gallifrey, For example, the Doctor take up his first job, a post at the Bureau Of Temporal Observation and Monitoring, hoping to rise amongst Timelord ranks to join the Temporal Operations division (Ah, but Doctor, everyone here starts at the BOTOM and works their way up to the TOP!) when he monitors a temporal crime being committed by none other than the arch-chancellor. His discovery has been noted, however, and the complete record of his life erased, including even his name, and replaced with that of a renegade.

He is pursued across the death zone (plenty of scope for some monster encounters there), his "family" are held to ransom and entirely exterminated with the sole exception of his infant grand-daughter whom he rescues. The President (or maybe Rassillon) observes the arch-chancellor's deceit, knowledge of which would destroy Timelord society and spread chaos throughout the universe. He locks the bad guy in a temporal prison and offers the Doctor a deal - eternal imprisonment, banishment to the anti-matter world of Omega, or his memory of these events is erased and he must go into exile for the "murder" of the arch-chancellor.

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iOS finally gets Palm compatibility

TRT
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Aww...

Sounds good. Shame I don't now, and have never had a Palm. I wonder if they'll do the same for my old Psion 2?

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Mythbusters cannonball ‘myth-fires’

TRT
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I love those guys.

Seriously. I want to have their babies.

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Criminal Records Bureau checks to go online

TRT
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Well....

after reading that news story about a woman who got £55 taken out of her £57 pay packet for a CRB check, this can only be good news.

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MPs: This plan for proper navy carriers and jets is crazy!

TRT
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Pint

I see...

So producing things under license makes them more expensive. Which would explain why beer is so expensive nowadays.

I saw the 1982 Only Fools Xmas edition the other night. A "Remay Martin" and a pint of lager cost 98p. I had to rewind the V+ box to double check.

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Boffing boffins create 3D map of orgasmic female brain

TRT
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Because...

You'd need a different brain scanner; in fact, one for pelvic examinations.

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TRT
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The MRI machine I used to use...

had Siemen on it.

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Toshiba readies zero Watt standby mode telly

TRT
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Hasn't...

someone devised a means of burying a camera into the screen as well? I seem to recall it was one of Apple's patent crop.

Oh, and thumbs up for the X-factor comment.

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TRT
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Genius!

PoE for the standby mode. Also useful for remote wake-on-lan. Possibly integrated camera (Skype) remote security as well. I think Apple are onto something with their new TV project.

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Greatest ever first-person shooter* brought back to life

TRT
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Orgasmic!

I loved this game.

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Antarctic ice formed at CO2 levels much higher than today's

TRT
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Professor Huber T. Farnsworth?

Well, once a year we just drag an enormous ice cube through space from the planet Hoth and drop it into the Atlantic ocean.

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