* Posts by TRT

6268 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Solving traffic jams with maths

TRT
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Re: Interesting.

It's odd the effect a ring-road blockage has around Watford. Backs up all the way onto the M1 and the M25 if Exchange Road is closed for more than 30 minutes. But how do you fix Bushey Arches?

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Boffins crack on with ultimate roboass

TRT
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Paris Hilton

Shiri?

Will Paris be warm this weekend?

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Star Trek's Wesley Crusher blasts Google+ landgrab

TRT
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FAIL

Yet another chocolate factory fail...

at providing an enterprise service.

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Star Trek role-players' privates sniffed by alien invader

TRT
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That would be...

illogical, Captain.

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Hanging's too good for 'em - so what do you suggest?

TRT
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Apple OS naming convention.

Use 'em to feed the leopards. Throw 'em in the arena to go up mano-e-garra against a lion or a tiger.

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From the Department of WTF: New USB tampon flash drive

TRT
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I'm just glad...

that the BBC have stopped making Spooks. I mean, one of those tasty, tasty MI6 lady agents sneaking a data stripping virus into a hostile embassy party dressed as a maid or a stripper...this could have given them ideas.

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TRT
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Remember Rik's party in The Young Ones?

I hope it's waterproof.

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Biologists create synthetic DNA capable of EVOLUTION

TRT
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Re: worry

Is the base-pair spacing compatible?

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TRT
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Happy

Re: I tried reading about it, via the link

I understand it perfectly. But then, I do IT in a biomedical research laboratory.

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TRT
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Coat

Blasphemy!

Mine's the one with the Kaled mutant in the pocket.

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Battlefield Earth ruled worst film EVER

TRT
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Possibly you are. Other commentators are quite right - for the die hard fans of the series, the whole thing was too fast paced, too many changes to the text were done (that's where much of the humour is to be found) probably because some Hollywood rulebook decreed that a 2 second pause is too long in a movie whereas you need that pause to let the audience get the joke about "What's so wrong with being drunk?"

For a fan of DA, this movie is just bad bad bad. Imagine the cast of Glee performing a dramatisation of Terry Pratchett's "The Colour of Magic", directed by M. Night-Shamalamadingdong.

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POWERFUL solar flare belched at Mars rover Curiosity

TRT
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Mushroom

Re: How do we determine....

Flares are still in fashion in Noo'cassal, man!

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Minister blows away plans for more turbines

TRT
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Wrong deployment...

Direct power generation from wind was never going to be a good solution. They should be using the wind turbines to pump water into storage dams for hydro-electric generation.

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Vintage alien tech crash-lands in field

TRT
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I think the aliens...

are bi-curious.

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PLASMA GERM BLASTER GUN invented for cleaning skin

TRT
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Hey guys, guys, guys; back up a second...

when was the last time you saw a 5V battery, huh?

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The best April 1 gags … or were they?

TRT
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Re: One you missed ...

And you missed Jessop's "Hover Pod" flying tripod.

http://www.amateurphotographer.co.uk/news/Jessops_in_hover_tripod_April_Fools_prank_news_312061.html

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Vote now for the WORST movie EVER

TRT
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Re: Wedding video

The wedding video, in order to qualify as worst film ever, should be called:

"For Vow and For Never"

Crew:

Producer - Ed Wood

Director - Jonathan Frakes

Costume - Tim Burton

Cinematography - M. Night Shyamalan

Score - Danny Elfman

Cast:

The Groom - Mos Def

The Bride - Gwyneth Paltrow

The Matron of Honour - Tilda Swinton

The Best Man - Jack Black

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ALL Visa cards blab punters' names - not just Barclaycards

TRT
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Re: I've drilled the aerial out of my cards.

And they may find they end up with one less customer. I don't care. Banks are ten a penny.

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TRT
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I've drilled the aerial out of my cards.

And I don't care if I get downvoted for doing so. I don't ever use that facility, and I don't want to.

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West Australian WiFi mesh sniffs out bushfires

TRT
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25Km per node???

That's just mental!

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A million TVs to go dark across London

TRT
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Facepalm

Well...

I believe that it's BBC2 that goes off and ITV moves onto BBC2's frequency, so ITV's old frequency is then clear for the new MUX, then...

it's all very complex, but the fact that they HAVE to keep ITV going for as long as possible, above and beyond the vastly superior BBC2 programming, just gives me more cause to lower my head in shame.

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Everything you thought you knew about cybercrims is WRONG

TRT
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FAIL

Oh yes, Hollywood...

As in Swordfish, Sneakers, Firewall...

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Plastic that SELF-REPAIRS using light unleashed by prof

TRT
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Re: Not great for glasses..

Qucik rub with a Brillo pad, and bingo! Rose tinted spectacles.

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Tripleton touts telephone for double-ohs

TRT
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Or even...

hungry journalists?

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OAP sues Apple for $1m after walking into store's glass door

TRT
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Big Brother

That's one old and angry bird!

Now stop granny bashing and get back to work!

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Fujitsu has phone fraudsters in its sights

TRT
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Or...

Pretend to be from Microsoft calling because "their server has received a message from my computer that it has been infected with a virus and that I need special software to remove it".

The first few times I just hung up, but recently I've taken to asking them to hold while I turn the computer on, then play the Apple start-up chime at them. "Hang on... Microsoft you say???"

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The Facebook job test: Now interviewers want your logins

TRT
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Re: We need a better definition of "Friends"

Friends. Lame-arsed yet often amusing American situation comedy revolving around the interaction of 3 male and 3 female 30 somethings. Now defunct.

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TRT
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Megaphone

Facebook is evil.

I don't and won't have a Facebook or Twitter account. Would a prospective employer actually believe that?

And surely you didn't fall for the "How do I program the DVD player to record Antiques Roadshow tomorrow?" trick? Had nobody told you that your relatives feign IT & tech ignorance in order to elicit a personal visit from their beloved kin? They'll deliberately wind you up to the point that you screech that it's OK, you'll drive the 180 miles to deepest, darkest Mid-Kentshirewold and set it up for them, to which they'll reply "Oh thank you, deary. And you'll stop for dinner too? You can bring that new girlfriend* of yours along." You'll know you've been had if they use the phrase "It'll be lovely to see you."

*This tactic is specifically used against male-kin as women are simply not so cruel as to ignore their relative like that. Also, they'll even call your boyfriend your girlfriend on the phone if you're of that persuasion, hastily rectified to your (120ms pause)"friend"(um) once you are physically there.

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Nvidia shows off first 'Kepler' GPUs

TRT
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Re: Power consumption

Dissipation, not consumption. IIRC that's governed by Yate's Law, which is something to do with the fourth power of the temperature differential.

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El Reg user forum opens to public, HTML for all (mostly)

TRT
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I just want...

a couple of Star Trek icons and a hyperlink back to my original comment so I can easily find replies.

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Man FLIES with Android-powered homemade bird wings

TRT
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The BBC's been duped!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17468907

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TRT
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Needs...

catapult launch assistance. But watch out for that flimsy looking building housing pigs.

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Reading plays host to live ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

TRT
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Re: Reading is Zombie H.Q. all the time, everyday

Surely zombies would only gather where there is a food source. And food for zombies is BRAAAIIIIINZZZZZZ!

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TRT
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Facepalm

Damn!!!

16+ only!

I know someone who would DIE for this.

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So, what IS the worst film ever made?

TRT
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Re: Worst film

I can remember a scene with Richard Wilson introducing himself as Juan Filipe to Julian Clary who replies "Ooh! I'm Juan too!"

F***ing hilarious. Though it shouldn't be.

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TRT
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Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

Although I love Stephen Fry, his diction wasn't clear enough for the guide, which is why Peter Jones will always be the voice of the book for me.

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TRT
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Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

Ford Prefect has some of the best lines ever conceived, yet Mos Def delivers them as if he's chewing a sweat sock. The guy is a mumbler. During the 5-10 minutes I saw, they were shut in the airlock; the just completely removed the "Wait a minute... what's this switch? No, I'm only fooling, we're going to die." bit. That highlights the whole Ford/Arthur relationship. No, I'm sorry, cast or not, dreadful movie.

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TRT
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Re: Eraserhead

Yeah, it was a bit weird, but despite the plot, it was well made. I watched it in 1988 as part of a triple bill at the Duke of York in Brighton. The other films were... erm... *digs deep* Ah! Razorback and Beyond The Valley of the Dolls.

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TRT
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Windows

Re: Lost in Translation

@ fatsbrannigan.

Thinking about it, I got the message that I was now 102 minutes closer to being a glum jowly oldster; a place where making it with a sensitive but hot young chick is firmly the preserve of Hollywood fantasyland.

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TRT
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Re: John Carpenter's Dark Star

This is one of the greatest films of all time. Without this film, there would be no Alien.

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TRT
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Lost in Translation

Oh, I've got to put something in this bit... I've nothing to say about this movie, which isn't a surprise as the movie had nothing to say.

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TRT
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Re: My nominations

Not on general release. Do these films have to have been passed by the BBFC?

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TRT
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The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

I couldn't watch more than 10 minutes of it. They mangled the carefully crafted dialogue produced by Douglas Adams to create something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike something even bearably watchable.

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Nokia invents teeny throbbing tattoos to make your skin crawl

TRT
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You could...

go one step further and have carefully controlled vibrations directed into the jawbone from some cybernetic implant. Derive power for it from one of those glucose fuel cells that snails had fitted to them the other week, an audio pick up as well and you could have a fully functional and discrete communications device. Yes, encapsulated in blue ceramic and shaped like a tooth, this kind of idea could work.

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BBC Micro team to celebrate historic machine's 30th year

TRT
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Re: 6809

The TRS-80 and Coco.

I used to sell these back in the days. You got people who came into the shop wanting to buy them for business purposes, and they were quite a pretty penny then too, so you'd show them how to get going, teach them a bit of word processing or spreadsheets, maybe spend an hour or two on a sale. Then you got other people who were just blown away by the flight simulator or something. Then you got the real people who came in wanting to use them for programming and you had to demo a bit of quick coding. This was when you could impress someone with a four line program to convert between Celsius and Fahrenheit, or something that rotated the letters in an input string around a bit. These were also the people who would buy bits to make an amplifier so they could get sound out of a TRS-80 by jacking into the tape socket - I think I must have sold a dozen of these purely on the back of that robot game that spoke.

Glorious days.

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TRT
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Re: "Mac died, though, didn't he?"

Ah, Ian McNaught-Davis. Yes. There's not that much about him on the WWW funnily enough. He appears to be still going, though. He's an expert rock climber apparently, and quite (ho ho) high up in the sport.

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TRT
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Chris Searle...

I remember him.

Mac died, though, didn't he? The guy who didn't see the point of "silly computer games". :-)

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Lawyers of Mordor retreat from The Hobbit

TRT
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Re: the eleventh commandment

I'm lazy.

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Pope Benedict in .XXX pro-Islam cybersquat drama

TRT
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But...

everyone eats chicken, right?...*

*to quote Homer.

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TRT
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Windows

"Everyone will find Islam"

Sounds like many people won't find that site very useful as a search engine.

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