* Posts by TRT

6424 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Target Silicon Valley: Why A View to a Kill actually made sense

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Re: Odd how I had forgotten the plot

Yeah, I'd forgotten the plot too. It just conjures up visions of Amberley Museum in Sussex, which is where they filmed the mine workings. I've ridden on the little mine trains that they rode around on in the film!

UN locks Apple, Google, Microsoft in a room for patent peace summit

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Happy

Good idea, but...

can I patent it?

Is lightspeed really a limit?

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Re: Limits.

I don't think you were downvoted because people believe that there can be temperatures below absolute zero, but because you were drawing a comparison with a value which BY DEFINITION can only be zero or positive, whereas the limit of lightspeed exists because of a practicality relating to mass. There is no upper limit on temperature, by the way, so the analogy with speed fails there; of course you cannot have a speed below zero.

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FAIL

Re: Limits.

They always travel at "lightspeed" for the medium through which they are travelling. Speed of light in a vacuum and all that.

Natwest's Get Cash app pulled, but NOTHING to do with frauds

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Re: A 6-digit PIN gives 'emergency' cash to anyone who types it in

BOTH the PIN and the DOB to show that the person given the PIN is the one using it.

Rover spots 'possibly artificial' MYSTERY SHINY OBJECT on Mars

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Well I'd be writing to the customer complaints department if I found bits of metal in MY mars.

Big Blue beats off rivals to push out first LTO-6 tape drive

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Re: punch tape

An optical version might be feasible. A polymer ribbon about an inch wide... what's the surface area of a CD or DVD?

LASER STRIKES against US planes on the rise

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Re: Ironic Punishment - use MIRRORS

Only allow laser sales of one wavelength into the unregulated market. Filter out that wavelength at the cockpit.

Astroboffins to search for mega-massive alien power plants

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Yeah, but...

what about the customer service when it starts going wrong...

"Now, hold the receiver up to the universe, love, let me hear what kind of noise it's making..."

The tips stop here: Starbucks to take Square Wallet payments

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Paris Hilton

Have the girls in Starbucks...

started offering a free bonking service then? *confused*

Will you soon be fingering your seven-incher?

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Pint

Applauds headline.

Well done sir!

Experts troll 'biggest security mag in the world' with DICKish submission

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Re: I bet d***s against c***s

Bunch of Wide Area Network Key Engineering Response Specialists.

Apple: Blue-shirts can fix iOS Maps in their spare time

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WAre you sure it wasn't...

an Appology?

Top admen beg Microsoft to switch off 'Do Not Track' in IE 10

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Devil

Re: Ad men see bonuses going south

Rubbish. We all know iPhones don't get viruses.

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Re: Ad men see bonuses going south

We could always invent spurious predictions that the planet will be eaten by a giant mutant star goat and offer them a once in a lifetime chance to escape impending doom on board one of three massive arks in space...

Now Space Station forced to DODGE flying Japanese junk

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Re: And now we know...

Ack. Slight memory failure. I meant Scramble (and Super Scramble etc).

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And now we know...

what all that playing "Defender" in the late 80s was all about. Training.

JK Rowling's adult novel arrives on ebook full of FAIL

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Easily fixed...

Erratum electronica!

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Alert

Noooo!!!

Don't auto-delete my digital first edition which is made all the more rare by the publishers errors!

Mind you, I need a new Kindle after she scribbled her autograph over the screen with a Sharpie(tm).

Icelandic town demands vulva museum

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Devil

Re: Obviously

It'd have been easier to steal if it'd been a BMW. ;-)

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Re: Muff is duff

You have a point, though. The gift shop would be interesting. Pen holders, pencil sharpeners, wine bottle stoppers...

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Facepalm

There's one of those in Sweden already...

isn't there?

*rereads*

Oh! I thought you said a _Volvo_ museum? Sorry.

Vote now for the ULTIMATE BACON SARNIE

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Re: You lucky, lucky bastards...

I think it's the soft breads which win it over for me. The toasted doorstep has too much of a rasp against the soft palette.

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Re: NSFW

Pah! NSFM* warning required!

*Not Safe For Muzzies.

McFlurry McMisdemeanour costs Welsh lass McJob

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Windows

Re: Why?

I have to admit that I spent a good few hours this week going through the archives looking for clips from old comedy shows that I used to enjoy after reading a comment someone posted on a Doctor Who forum which read simply "Today, I shall be mostly watching a cube."

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How did the management find out that "too much" chocolate had been added?

Webcams in the serving spoons.... I was RIGHT!

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Re: What the fu..

Depends on how many hours she worked.

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I think it shows that...

not only is her boss a nasty human being, but is also pretty ineffective at being a manager. I mean, all that expense of training, uniform, HR etc. just to fire her when a formal warning would have served as well.

Should fire HIM for the waste.

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Urgh...

I've heard the rumours about the extra-special sauce you get at some fast food outlets.

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Re: Why?

I'm afraid this ElReg report is a sign that a McJob is the new career starting point for IT graduates. Any graduate in fact. :-(

AI game bot HUNTS DOWN ENEMIES, passes Turing Test

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Re: Naturally

BOFH.

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Devil

Does it reply with "I ain't a bot I'm jus betta than you noobs, it's skillz!!!!"

Nope. It was far too good a human-sim to make the mistake of including all those correctly placed apostrophes.

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Terminator

I now need to code...

UTK9, an AI dog which will bark at non-human bots before they get into the base and start wasting all the humans. They'll be back.

New I-hate-my-neighbour stickers to protect Brits' packages

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Re: Can I have a ...

Our internal doorbell is mains powered from the flat's intercom system, but separate from the entry phone, so no, I can't simply leave the entry phone off the hook and be certain that the postie won't be waking me up. Yes, there are a hundred and one ways I could disable the doorbell, but why the hell should I? I enjoy much peace and quiet as it is, and all I would like is for the counterpart sticker to the "don't deliver my stuff elsewhere", which would be "I don't want to take part in your neighbour delivery scheme thank you".

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Windows

Re: How many times have you not answered the door because you were on the sh1tter?

I've never let that stop me before.

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Re: Hoi polloi

Robot monkey butlers. That is all.

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Can I have a ...

sticker to say "I don't want to be disturbed by the postie because I work night shifts"?

I mean, if the parcel is for me, fair enough, and I can usually time my orders so that it arrives with me on a day off, but my neighbour is freakin' OBSESSED with buying stuff from Amazon. He gets 2 or 3 books or DVDs a DAY, and he's never in to receive them.

Tibetan STATUE found by 1930s NAZI expedition is of ALIEN ORIGIN

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Re: The Kaaba has a big one

Nothing to do with that last episode of Doctor Who then?

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Bulletproof monk?

The Chinese have proved conclusively that they aren't.

Microsoft's Bing bods exploit fanbois' Apple maps misery

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BingMaps wants to use your current location...

Apparently, I've broken into the Bank of England. Ooerrr!

Japanese boffins unfurl banner above newly-discovered Element 113

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Mushroom

Re: Kamikazium.

WW3 fought through science. The predicted atomic war.

Pearlharbonium. Then the next once discovered by the US will probably be named Hiroshimite.

I like the sound of Narutonium though.

Fukushimite?

I don't know. We'll wait and see!

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Godzillium!

FTW.

Virgin ramps 4G to a whopping 90Mbps - and switches it off

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Re: Been here before?

Yes. It died of mixin' its phone sys.

Texas Instruments: Screw smartphones, put our chips in the dishwasher

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Noooo!!!

It'll end up with Apple's chips finding their way into dishwashers, and then all your cups will suddenly relocate to next door's toilet or something.

Euro watchdog to charge Microsoft on web browser choice boob

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Thumb Up

Way to go...

Eurozone bailout!

</cynic>

Space Station ready to SWERVE sat junk hurtling towards it

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Re: Navigational Deflectors?

Robot monkey butlers. That is all.

CPS grovels after leaking IDs of hundreds arrested during student riots

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Trollface

Well at least...

I can now check if my daughter was telling the truth when she said she didn't get arrested at the "demo".

Tesla drops veil on top secret solar Superchargers

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Drive anywhere for free...

(1) blue sky thinking

(2) not round Glen Shiels etc etc it won't.

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