* Posts by TRT

6731 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

BOFH: Welcome to Helldesk, ma'am, may I take your bags?

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Death by a thousand paper cuts.

Google: Thanks for the billions in revenue, UK. Here are your taxes, that's ... £11m

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Thanks El Reg!!!

I tried doing a Hummingbird web search on Google's accounting declarations, but for some reason it just couldn't find it...

Boffins have constructed a new LIGHT SABRE. Their skills are complete

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London has a University of Excellence.

Later, dudes.

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Re: "wholly out of light"

Of course, you could always expose photons to a strong thaumic field... that would slow it down very much.

Apple iOS 7 makes some users literally SICK. As in puking, not upset

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Re: oooh, how did I do that?

I got round it by sticking with iOS 5. I wish I'd stuck with iOS 4 to be honest. I preferred the unlimited wifi location cache as I've got an iPod only and the location services used to work even if off the net. Did they include a switch for that? No. Did they include a switch to let you keep the Google Map? No. Did they include a switch to let you keep the familiar iOS interface? No.

Sick and tired of having the latest and greatest shoved down my throat when I don't actually want it. If any app developer's latest update can't run on iOS 5, then it's bye bye time. At this rate I'll end up back with the pocket diary and papermate that I used between 1978 and 2009 - that seemed to work fine for me.

RADIATION SNATCHED from leaky microwave ovens to power gadgets

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Re: Free energy

Food used in its broadest context...

Want FREE BEER for the rest of your life?

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Of course...

it's not the gut that's typically associated with yeast infections... Which is kind of fun then.

DRAMA at 75,000 FEET: Our Playmonaut's TERROR PLUNGE from EDGE of SPACE

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Well with your choice of backronyms...

what else could you expect but a forced hike up the dirt road?

Korean stealth-scraper plans will turn 450 metre tower INVISIBLE

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Re: Too ambitious

Don't be stupid. No building that small has a cloaking device.

Do you trust your waiter? Hacked bank-card reader TEXTS your info to crims

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Re: And people who read El Reg did not know this?

Russian credit card fraud, American credit card fraud...

Is all come from Taiwan anyways.

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Re: Two part PIN?

The point was that the PIN is the same one for Chip and PIN as for magstripe & PIN, isn't it?

So you compromise the mag stripe and capture the PIN. Or have I got that wrong?

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Two part PIN?

Like the PayPal text a code to your phone thing?

Cold-blooded, INHUMAN visitor hitches ride on NASA moon rocket

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Lt. Ripley...

Did you say Xenomorph or Xenopus?

BBC releases MYSTERY RIDDLE poster for Doctor Who anniversary episode

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Re: Ninth Doctor?

Paul McGann?

Well, i suppose he could do a narrative voice over...

"Regeneration. It's like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Time change. You lose, you gain. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. Then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores."

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Re: The science behind Doctor Who?

Actually the current console consists of bits scavenged from a variety of places, including a Westinghouse frame from the London Underground, and a rhesostatic brake lever from a trolleybus. All fascinating stuff really.

First rigid airship since the Hindenburg cleared for outdoor flight trials

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Re: Rigid Airships have a place

Have you never seen Thunderbird 6? People getting popped off left, right and centre. Terrible business. And the decor!!!

Give us a break: Next Android version to be called 'KitKat'

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Will it run on the Motr* Razr?

* Middle Of The Road, for those of you old enough to remember that advertising campaign.

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Literally the Chocolate Factory, then.

ha!

BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT

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Oh M F G

Windows 7. Windows Update Control Panel. Point at icon, navigate, click.

Windows 8. Windows Update Control Panel. Swipe down somewhere without an icon, navigate, click, point, navigate, click, click.

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Devil

Never waiting for perfection, just doing it now because...

A bit like the OS release schedule then.

'WTF! MORONS!' Yahoo! Groups! redesign! traumatises! users!

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The did the same with Flickr...

and that stinks.

Several of my groups have bailed from Yahoo! already.

Torched £30 server switch costs phone firm millions in lost sales

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Re: Are companies really responsible...

This is the sentence in the piece.

"Initially no one thought it important but this small fire resulted in an £8m loss of sales as the data centre contained the one server that was responsible for processing company’s Chip and PIN information on credit card purchases across Europe."

I find it confusing.

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Are companies really responsible...

for handling "Chip and PIN" data collected at the POS?

WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

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PECKoR

Payload

Emergency

Cut-down

Key operated

Remote

Finally it happens: MAN BITES DOG - after stabbing himself

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I hope the dog got its jabs. You never know what germs are in a human's mouth.

Star Wars revival secret: This isn't the celluloid you're looking for

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Re: I know this will be unpopular but it has to be said

Valid point he is making. Hyperpolitical story line. Much complexity for such young padwans. Return of the Jedi, not as good.

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Re: Ranking Alien/Aliens/Alien 3/ Alien Comicbook Edition

You are quite right, of course, Stevie. They were all shot on 35mm, but various production difficulties marred the finished films. I couldn't imagine the original Alien being made the way it was if CGI was available and if it was shot on digital. I mean, look what they did with Prometheus. They did OK, but the atmosphere of the film is so much more to do with the crew, especially the Director. Perhaps JJ needs to work with film.

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Re: I expect to be disappointed

Alien. Scary.

Aliens. Excellent and scary.

Alien 3... meh.

Alien 4... please!

Yes. Story telling needs the constraints of the processes, because then you find better ways.

Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

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Re: Right-angle poo

Mudchute?

Lenovo to ship all new PCs with Start Menu replacement

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Is that the same...

CandShell and SweetShop rubbish that I had to remove from a PA's machine as it was far far too malware-like to be good? I mean, it rewrote the DNS queries and redirected the search engine etc

'BLING BLING, BLING BLING' 'Hello, yes, my iPhone is made of GOLD'

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Alert

And introducing...

the iLightSaber. Just... don't hold it wrong, OK? Ow.

Fanbois taught to use Apple's new killer app: Microsoft Windows

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If they really want to be taken seriously by the business world...

they should put back all the stuff they took out of OSX server. And make some decent rack mounted hardware again.

In case of LOHAN flight emergency, gobble THIS Iridium-Arduino sandwich

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MAMS

Mission Abort Message Sender

Kiwi jetpack gets all-clear for manned tests

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Re: @jake - Do not want.

I wish I could fly, way up in the sky, but I can't.

Volvo V60 Plug-in Hybrid: Eco, economy and diesel power

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Re: If I don't need ...

I managed to add on enough options to get it up to £53k! Still want one, though.

Possessed baby monitor shouts obscenities at Texas tot

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Re: Huh?

P'n'P is all I'm saying.

Microsoft to fund Blake's 7 return as Xbox Live exclusive

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Blake's 7 post-liberator is like...

Microsoft Office.

"One humbly observes, sir, that you might be attempting to navigate a course through the Magellan dust cloud. Would you like some help with that?"

ULTIMATE cuppa contenders prepare to go mug-to-mug

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You can always rely on...

the special pot-checks bureau.

Nude swimmers warned of GONAD-GOBBLING FISH ON THE LOOSE

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It's the circle of life...

we've been eating their fingers for years.

Darth Vader's old gaff awaits exogorth desert DUNE DOOM

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Perfect excuse to shout...

"Look out for the sand, people!"

UK investigators finger emergency beacon for 787 Heathrow fire

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Re: Worked as designed:

Ah. Moses code signalling. Reliable.

Dev bakes actual, edible raspberry pie with Raspberry Pi

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Mushroom

Re: I don't really see the point of this

And the fact that it starts automagically without checking if there's anything actually IN the cavity... I mean, who wouldn't, with this level of convenience, scan the barcode without reading the instructions before putting the thing in the oven, just to see how long it's going to take to cook. Never underestimate the laziness of people.

"Ooh! I fancy lasagne ping tonight, but I need to eat in the next 30 minutes or I'm not going to have time to shower before my big date... How long does this... *click* *scan* BOOM†."

†OK, microwaves don't go BOOM if you start them empty... more kind of fizz, pop, whirr, grind, fizz.

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Re: You can't bake a proper pie in a microwave.

Wait. Did that pie come with khool whhip?

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Tea, Earl Grey, hot.

Apple builds flagship store on top of PLAGUE HOSPITAL

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World War Z

The App store is plagued by zombies... and now the Apple Store.

I'm off to get a new iPod...

*grabs cricket bat*

Scientists investigate 'dark lightning' threat to aircraft passengers

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Dark lightning...

Isn't that a Guinness and cider? I can see the lethality.

BBC boffins ponder abstruse Ikea-style way of transmitting telly

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There's madness in the method.

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Re: The first thing I'd want ..

And the eye-wateringly distracting dark "vignette" around 75% of Top Gear's articles.

Leaks point to new mystery Macs 'with Jony Ive's fingerprints on'

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Metro

Looks like someone spilled a jar of Jelly Belly Beans onto a conveyor belt heading under a heavy roller. Angry fruit salad doesn't come into it.

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