* Posts by TRT

6142 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Farts away! Plane makes unscheduled stop after man won't stop guffing

TRT
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Re: High Risk Strategy

Matchmaker, matchmaker,

Strike me a match,

Disguise my gas,

Mask me my flatch

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

I've brewed me a stew,

Of gas that I've passed from my ass.

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It was a real...

Dutch oven.

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UK.gov calls on the Big Man – GOD – to boost rural broadband

TRT
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Re: I may be missing something

Churches do tend to be co-located with churchgoers, i.e. population spots. There are often telecommunications run out to churches, not least as a result of their role in WW2. There is also the possibility of line-of-sight microwave relay between the spires, should cabling not be available. There's also power run out to a church which isn't necessarily the case to these long abandoned rural outposts.

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Re: FTTP.

Could be FTTC, Fibre to the Church.

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Re: I'm waiting...

Those bits of God which passeth all understanding.

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FTTP.

Fibre to the Pulpit.

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Re: Location, location, location

The Holy Trinity?

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Oi! Verizon leaked my fiancée's nude pix to her ex-coworker, says bloke

TRT
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It means he uses his chopper, and photographically documents the axe wound.

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And he's a logger.

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HomePod, you say? Sex sex sex, that's all you think about

TRT
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Re: >> Antibiotics for flu?

Dr Brown Bear was told not to give Peppa Pig any more antibiotics, and within a week, she was cured.

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Re: >> Antibiotics for flu?

I don't know... my ex-wife insisted on having antibiotics whenever she had flu/cold/virus because once upon a time when she was a teenager she was prescribed some and it worked.

Every time I would insist she didn't go to the doctor for antibiotics, she would hold off a day or two then sneak over there when I was at work, insist on antibiotics (we must have had such a weak willed GP or she wore them down), then the next day after starting a course would be getting better and cured within 48 hours.

This, apparently, was proof that antibiotics cured viruses and that I, and the rest of medical science, were idiots.

We are now divorced. I cited unreasonable behaviour in the papers; not doing what she was told to by her husband mental and physical cruelty.

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Re: Simple solutions to the HomePod thing

It's a case of putting the D'Oyly before the Carte.

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Pour boiling water on it, mate. They will be free from the post as soon as they see the kettle.

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Re: Ahh, wood jokes :)

Old woodworks never retire, they just get knotted.

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Oh those silicone implants...

are such a bother.

I'd far prefer to have a felt ring on the bottom.

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BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot

TRT
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Re: Quiet beers?

Sounds like you've been on the bitter beer. Try some mild ale in future.

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Re: Chekhov's PDU

Oh, cheers! I have now been and read about Chekov's gun.

I was reading it thinking "Chekov's Law of foreshadowing in drama and acting??? Do they mean this? But Chekov doesn't even so much as exchange a glance with Sulu during that bit... How can that foreshadow what happened to him?"

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P007

Poo. Honestly, you people are not puerile enough sometimes.

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Re: The staircase

Gorilla Mincefriend

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Re: Thumbscrews too?

Yes.

Captive nuts?

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Still a sweet resolution...

though I was expecting a little more along the lines of "we're about to get medieval on your rack..."

You know the sort of thing... 4 post, binding to the lifting eyelets at the top and the floor-beam locating pins at the bottom, sealed cabinetry, acoustic baffling, some ancient GPU loaded rack mounted PC with quad FX 9590 processors and a slew of GTX480s at the bottom running audio recognition tasks on the feed from an in-rack audio pickup - the louder you scream the harder they work, a Redetec top-of-rack FPS for good measure. All plugged into either the demo PDU or the shipped PDU; are you feeling lucky, punk? Well, are you?

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UK mobile customers face inflation-busting price hike

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Re: Potatoes

And the price of the chips...

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Chrome adblockalypse will 'accelerate Google-Facebook duopoly'

TRT
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Unfortunately...

these bastions of free market economy, whom one might have expected to understand how these forces work, neglected to consider that selling advertising space on websites would mean that as prices fell, volume would have to go up to maintain a steady revenue. This means that whilst your local rag sheet would once upon a time have displayed 3 or 4 discrete adverts off to one side on a page whose aesthetics were largely determined by readability and elegance, to generate the same revenue today, they have to have whole page pop-unders, with 30 or 40 smaller adverts, a cacophony of higher charged rolling video ads and metrics-for-sale.

So the only answer is to reduce the availability of advertising somewhere along the supply chain. I propose we, err, burn down all the advertising agencies. Sounds like a sensible move, fiscally speaking.

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Six things I learned from using the iPad Pro for Real Work™

TRT
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Stylus instead of mouse.

I know what you mean! Is the iPadPro immersion proof? A dip in Cidex opens up whole worlds of possibilities for theatres of use.

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Aching bad: 'Kingpin Granny' nicked in huge prescription drugs bust

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The less said...

about Granny's bust, the better.

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Roses are red, are you single, we wonder? 'Cos this moth-brain AI can read your phone number

TRT
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It will have practical applications...

once they have worked out how to stop the computer bashing itself against the light bulb.

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Rogue IT admin goes off the rails, shuts down Canadian train switches

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Re: First prize

I was initially confused by the reference to switches. I thought someone had sabotaged the points.

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Hyperoptic's overkill 10Gbps fibre trial 'more than a clever PR stunt'

TRT
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Re: Latency...

It would be brilliant if it weren't for the thing crapping out for 2 minutes five times a day and never the same ping twice. I have constant monitoring and logging of the connection quality turned on. It's almost as if they reboot the cable head once or twice every shift.

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Re: Latency...

It is Verminmedia, but I use their Hub3 in modem mode only. After that it's SOHO / medium-sized business level kit.

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Latency...

latency and consistency.

My ping varies between 7ms and 200ms. Speed, I'm getting 112Mbps on a 100Mbps contract, so I'm happy with that.

Internally, my network runs at 10Gbps between the media server and the distribution switch. I've no other devices that can do that kind of speed! But this is very exciting. Especially seeing as my workplace can't seem to manage WAN access over 10Gbps for 1000s of people to share.

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Not cool, dude: Brit web host Hotchilli Internet freezes itself for good

TRT
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I thought ...

they were pretty good. Haven't checked in years, however, but I did have two sites hosted there in the late 90s, early 00s.

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What if I told you that flash drives could do their own processing?

TRT
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Re: employing a historian instead of a computer scientist

Gogrilla Mincefriend.

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Re: Is this an Advert?

I think so. It sounds positively primitive when compared with Pure Flashblade. Except the compute in Pure is primarily for running the storage. If this idea starts to show promise, they can expect fierce competition, I think. FTL is a technology that's reached the end of rational development.

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UK Home Sec Amber Rudd unveils extremism blocking tool

TRT
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Re:[ "unnamed algorithm"].... I was thinking more

Automated

Detection of

Extremist

Propaganda

Transmission

There you go. Snappy, took 2 minutes to come up with, apt... belies the reality. That'll be £6 million please. More likely:

British

Internet

Governance

Jihadi

Information

Zerg

Upload

Monitoring

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Re: 99.995% is impossible

Peppa Pig dubbed in Arabic

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"unnamed algorithm"

I don't believe it.

£600,000 = £500,000 for the fact-finding market analysis and spin team, £90,000 for cost over-run protection and £10,000 for actual work. The very least they are going to get out of it is a decent acronym to name their tool with.

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Facial recognition software easily IDs white men, but error rates soar for black women

TRT
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Re: I'm not being racist...

Ha! Brilliant.

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Re: I'm not being racist...

Prosopagnosia. I've met several people with that in my previous work. Fascinating condition.

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Re: So facial recog is not reliable for non-white skin

"whites get killed slightly more often than blacks,"

easier to hit a reflective target.

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Re: So facial recog is not reliable for non-white skin

The police aren't black people? News to me. Sounds like you are comparing oranges with tamagotchi.

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Re: Skin tone is not binary with the meta groups

Is there an output for image identification quality or something similar? A confidence score built on amount of contrast etc? Is this a better correlate with identification error?

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Creep learning: How to tamper with neural nets to turn them against us

TRT
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As GDPR draws close, ICANN suggests 12 conflicting ways to cure domain privacy pains

TRT
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Re: Companies House, anyone?

My dog's a brilliant webmaster you know.

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TRT
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And another sneaky thing...

beaglestreet

You want a more detailed quote for cover, you fill in a form asking for name, age, address, email, phone etc then it gives you three squares "We may contact you in the following ways: email, phone, post".

But they are just little boxes that turn blue or white when you click on them. No checkbox. The rules are that they can't "pre-select" opt-in to marketing. So the un-selected boxes (presumably) are bold and blue and stand out and look like they are selected. The SELECTED (presumably) boxes are white, flat, less bold, and look like inactive buttons.

This is the sort of shit we've got to look forwards to?

Spank that beagle.

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No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

TRT
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On the other hand...

Even if he's completely innocent and passes no classified substances out of his pooper, the police could still do him for aiding and abetting the supply of illegally obtained cryptocurrency.

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Simples...

Shove a peanut up his arse... it'll come out a treat.

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You may think it's funny, but...

have you seen the damage that can be done to your insides by holding a poo in? My mate did. As his doctor said... "You know what you've done to your bowels, pal? Rectum."

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Re: Nice precedent for our corrupt police

Not meaning to be anally retentive or anything...

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It's the exact opposite...

of a dirty protest.

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The police are only interested in getting the job done.

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