* Posts by TRT

6423 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Bloke fruit flies enjoy ejaculating, turn to booze when starved of sexy times

TRT
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I recall a whole lecture about the neural mechanisms of ejaculation in mammals, including a number of experiments involving canine spinal sectioning. When it got to the questions part, someone near me put their hand up and asked, "So exactly how does one write a grant application asking for the money to spend five years wanking off dogs?"

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Re: The Human Fly

Spanish fly...

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BT pushes ahead with plans to switch off telephone network

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Re: Mobile as the emergency option?

It does have an IP service, yes.

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Re: Just imagine...

The front door slams open behind you. You think it's the wind, and you turn round, reaching out to shut it again against the raging storm, when silhouetted against the lighting illuminated solid rain downpour, the outline of Sarah. But not the Sarah you knew, this one is dressed in a sopping, torn dress, head lolling on one side, vacant staring look in her one remaining eye. You take a step forwards, but then recoil as she raises both arms and shuffles forwards, letting out a dull moan, her teeth gnashing together in a slow, biting, chewing motion... Are those words she's trying to form? "Brainnnnzzzzzz...."

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Next thing you know...

they'll be culling off all the FM radio transmitters in favour of DAB!

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Re: Mobile as the emergency option?

So... around 5,600 local telephone exchanges in the UK, each, let's be generous, having around 100 cabinets, so around 560,000 geographically dispersed battery backed up units... unless they plan to run new PSU cables out to the cabinets from a central power source at each exchange... so what's the problem with POTS again?

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Oracle demands dev tear down iOS app that has 'JavaScript' in its name

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We'd best get indoors.

Oracle's lawyers are easily startled, but they'll soon be back, and in greater numbers.

Oh, sorry. That's JawaScript. It's not the App you were looking for...

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Don’t fight automation software for control, just turn it off. FAST

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Re: I know that military aircraft...

As for training in use of an autopilot... satnav use has been included in the driving test now. Certainly the number of incidents involving them, the driving lessons should include sections on common sense, following signs, map reading and not trusting technology!

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Re: I know that military aircraft...

Is an autopilot functional operation check not in the pre-flight / take-off checklist?

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The only way is Ethics: UK Lords fret about AI 'moral panic'

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For the good of the commons...

I'm sure the Lords has something more to say about that...

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Re: Surely any true AI, deserving of a persona legalis ...

So good, I had to copypasta it into my reply!

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Re: Surely any true AI, deserving of a persona legalis ...

Until someone figures out a universal algorythm for "justice" , "ethics", and other such stuff you won't actually have an artificial intelligence.

Or am I confusing intelligence with intellect? Anyway, the jurisprudential arguments for the existence of law are all to do with ethics, morals and social consensus - how does one arrive at governance? How does one arrive at a rule of law?

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Surely any true AI, deserving of a persona legalis ...

would by its very own essence understand ethics, morals and the other esoteric features of living, thinking, beings? After all, is that not what the law is about? This is why animals do not have a legal personality, even though they exhibit everything that the term AI is used to mean nowadays - sensation, processing, reaction, self-awareness, multi-modal object recognition, etc...

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UK pub chain Wetherspoons' last call: ♫ Just a spoonful of Twitter – let's pull social media down ♫

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Re: Ever-shrinking menu options

Will they still employ someone to clean out the soup dispensers, though?

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Re: I guess he's taking back control ....

It's a small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden!

Anyway, I can't hang around. I'd better take the penguin for a walk.

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lowest bid contractor cleaners

Should have got the Eastern Europeans in to do it. Just as cheap but they do a better-than-half decent job.

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Re: Wetherspoons

I thought that was the question one asked oneself when one encountered their soup of the day... whether spoons would survive being dipped into the foul suspension before one.

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Re: I guess he's taking back control ....

Not smegsxit. That's what you get when you fall asleep with it still in.

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Is Wetherspoons that popular that one can't see the carpet anymore?

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Re: I guess he's taking back control ....

Smexit. Definitely.

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'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

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Re: With hindsight

I was wondering what triggered the cascade failure in the first place.

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Re: Sendmail hacking to the rescue

Ah... I can remember the days when science data used to fit on a SSSD Floppy... and 10MB seemed to be an infinite limit for a mail attachment.

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Re: With hindsight

A the true face of capitalism. Theory would suggest that as there is a gap/need in the market for some meatier load-balancer, someone will invest the capital to exploit that gap. Reality suggests that it's easier to find a cheap kludge than capital.

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Apple leak: If you leak from Apple, we'll have you arrested, says Apple

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Re: Pantone numbers

Not because Paris is coloured PANTONE 16-1448 TPX?

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Re: Cast iron guarantee

You will wear a flak jacket made of fully charged lithium batteries taken from Apple products, whilst being dunked into a tank of water. Every 10 minutes you will be removed from the tank and shot at with 200 rounds from an airsoft gun. After two hours of this, we will switch to an air rifle.

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Re: "...an employee leaked a link to the gold master of iOS 11..."

Security by obscurity is not security. But it makes a wonderful headline, piques interest and curiosity, generates a buzz... what IS it that's so secret that it'll mean commercial ruin if it leaks out? It's the Holy Grail... the gaudy cup of anticipation rather than the carpenter's crudely carved beaker. They know exactly what they are doing.

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Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

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Shanty...

A sailor went to C++.

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Re: Dad wanted a PC

Had he previously used a non-TIFKAM system? Because if you're going to end up there anyway, one might as well start there instead of having to change. Mind you... Pissy World???!!!! WTF was he thinking?

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I sometimes dread going home...

because when I do the family rounds, I get to spend only 50% of the time on seeing my relatives, the rest of the time it's fixing stuff. Like last weekend... my father (a retired CNC lathe operator and metallurgist, so not a dunce) complained that the printer now wouldn't work from the laptop. It was fine from the desktop still, though. Had they made any changes to anything computer related recently? No... well, (eventually) they had received a new box from Virgin, but they just swapped out the old one, and typed the new password into the laptops and phones and it was all working, so that couldn't have been the cause. I spied the Virgin box sitting behind the television, in a different room to the printer.

Had they put the new password into the printer, then?

No, because the desktop computer worked with both the printer and with the internet after the Virgin box was changed, so that couldn't be the problem.

Well, that would have been a reasonable deduction; except the desktop was plugged into the printer by USB, and it had been originally set up so the printer managed its own queue and was connected to the WiFi as well as the USB so they could print from the laptop without having to turn the desktop on.

Problem fixed, I then drove back to my mother's house to see how that Windows 10 Creators Update was coming along so that she could pick up her Yahoo! mail again after the OAuth2 update issue which had "frozen" her computer. By which she meant it hadn't picked up new email since early February rather than the mouse and keyboard didn't respond with a visible change on the screen.

At least my aunt next door is totally technophobic and without a single PC, Mac, laptop, smartphone or anything like that in the house. And no... that scratch on the kids favourite DVD isn't repairable, and yes, it is the reason the disc won't play properly anymore.

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UK defines Cyber DEFCON 1, 2 and 3, though of course doesn't call it that

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Re: shortform/acronyms

BIKINI state, surely.

Although there is scope for confusion and a need for mind bleach if someone asks "The BIKINI... Is it Amber? Red?" and someone else slightly mishears it.

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Re: I see a flaw in the plan

Armada? What armada? I see no IPs...

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Call it Cycon.

Pronounced the same as Psycon. Then you can announce the level nationwide by getting Brian Blessed to shout it from the top deck of The Shard.

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El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

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We're working with a company that's putting alcohol shots into sealed gelatine-like edible spheres. I can see those being loaded into a Dalek subframe...

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Re: Drink! Feck! Arse! Devops!

You missed the Girls!

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Re: "shared collaboration space"

You can share space, but you don't have to collaborate. Perhaps a shared warfare space instead?

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Maybe...

at a stretch.

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I'd take a lead from Robot Wars...

Sir Spill-a-lot?

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Presumably it isn't bottled or canned...

That'll be the first time in history, then, that we hear uttered the phrase "Open the door! There's a draught coming in."

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Was April 10th 'Add storage features to enterprise OSes day'?

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"Migrates that data, security, and network settings to a new, modern target by using the SMB protocol."?

That's the bit I'm having trouble with. Surely a migration is the time to review that kind of thing, refine or adjust them, test the new settings in place on the new server whilst it is still clean... And SMB??!! On an Enterprise system? As part of something other than a user service? Surely the back orrifice stuff is done using something more... hm... specialised? More secure?

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'Dear Mr F*ckingjoking': UK PM Theresa May's mass marketing missive misses mark

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They're working on this bit...

"And of course you only have to go onto a party’s website or walk near a local campaign group to be inundated with requests for your personal information."

If they get their way, you will no longer need to visit the website or take a walk or, for that matter, be inundated with requests for your personal information - they'll be able to collect it without interrupting your day whatsoever, not even to tell you that they've done it.

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Total WIPOut: IT chief finds his own job advertised

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Re: actually any productive work being done by WIPO?

erm... real world testing of various policies, legal frameworks, security practices etc? Sort of a grey hat organisation?

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Skype for Business has nasty habit of closing down… for business

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Total bollocks.

If you're going to use such a shite method of providing the pixels from an application's window, you could do it with, say, mapping 16x16 blocks of the out-of-scope parts of the screen, because no-one is going to bat an eyelid at a couple of fuzzy frames in a Skype for Boneheads call. The compression algorithm is dreadful anyway, and the other participants are bound to be rescaling it as well.

Besides, isn't this the kind of thing the OS window manager is supposed to do for you?

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Sorry spooks: Princeton boffins reckon they can hide DNS queries

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Re: So, what would be the point of hiding the DNS query?

That would take some organisation, and legislation. Have they really gone to that trouble?

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Re: So, what would be the point of hiding the DNS query?

That's for someone that is a target, i.e. known to the authorities, on a watch list.

DNS scrying is far more... well, circumspect.

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So, what would be the point of hiding the DNS query?

If you have spooks either (A) watching a DNS for trigger events or (B) going through DNS logs, then this method either (A) doesn't trigger the alert flag at the ISPs DNS or doesn't reveal the exact origination of the request at the .odns end and (B) means they have to obtain two sets of logs, potentially in two different jurisdictions, in order to decode the footprint.

All bets are off if they are watching an individual user; this methodology simply makes casting-a-net-and-see-what-we-get less worthwhile of an activity.

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Re: Pants

Thinking about it... if you DO use a revolving DNS, then this actually makes it EASIER to gather up the pieces, because the requests will all find their way to .odns's resolver in the end, within a narrow time window.

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The diagram isn't clear. The .odns stub isn't attached to the ISPs DNS but to the client.

The "attack surface" is roughly speaking "The ISPs DNS logs every packet in its entirety and that log is readable by a hostile agent. This enables a client's entire internet activity to be mapped out where DNS lookups are being made."

The mitigation is to encrypt the request which the ISP is logging, but to do so in a way that a bog-standard DNS service can handle the query.

Application asks the transport layer for a website, say. l33th4xerr.org

The transport layer is charged with sorting this out, and presumably the .odns stub will sit here.

The .odns Top Level Domain is added by the stub inside the client or in the client's own Firewall/NAT/DNS relay, and this encrypts the requested address, so you get a lookup request for something like:

x.x.x.x wants the IP for 30831r]83Rouy[498tby[8nyr84[B'CRB.odns

The ISPs DNS throws its hands up in the air and says "I'll have to refer this to .odns as the source of authority".

The x.x.x.x is now replaced by the DNS relay...

r.r.r.r wants the IP for 30831r]83Rouy[498tby[8nyr84[B'CRB.odns query reference number 12345

.odns, as a source of authority, strips out the session key which it will use to encrypt the response, decodes the real request, looks it up, gets the response and encrypts that before sending it back to the ISPs DNS, which is the only IP address that it has - the originating requestor's IP address isn't included in the query string.

So the response now reads:

To r.r.r.r from .odns. In response to query reference 12345

The IP addresses for 30831r]83Rouy[498tby[8nyr84[B'CRB.odns are 4c34c3442r2cc5gdfgr4344tf33, dfarf7fpqn8tt9[]5t5]tbq5[t and fifty98[b3[[];'\g-0]-k

Now, the ISPs DNS isn't going to understand what the response is. The reason that the response is encrypted is so that the reply doesn't reveal the IP address of the query because the ISPs DNS is going to change the response to:

To x.x.x.x from r.r.r.r.

The IP addresses for 30831r]83Rouy[498tby[8nyr84[B'CRB.odns are 4c34c3442r2cc5gdfgr4344tf33, dfarf7fpqn8tt9[]5t5]tbq5[t and fifty98[b3[[];'\g-0]-k

And that will be logged.

The .odns stub then takes the encrypted part of the response and uses the private key to the session key that it sent to change the reply to:

To originating computer, the IP address for l33th4xerr.org is 12.43.128.12

or if the stub is sitting in the transport layer of the client, it will pass that on to the resolver and add it to the local address resolution list.

If you pwn the .odns, you only see an ISPs DNS asking for dodgy URLs, if you pwn the ISPs DNS, then you see a lot of nonsense requests for a particular IP address on that network - a household with a NAT Firewall or something. If you pwn both then you can get the complete picture.

The problem I have with this is that the encrypted reply might need to be understood by the ISPs DNS. Surely it will be trying to parse the response in order to cache it or something. And the character set of both request and response must fit within the footprint of what a domain name can be, although with multibyte domain naming allowed now, I guess that restriction is cited slightly.

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Re: Pants

Crafty but obvious. It simply recurses to the odns server which has the other half of the key-pair, which then proxies the lookup. I suppose if one is trying to build a map of what a particular computer is doing, then this would help prevent that, but then so would using a revolving DNS package with a very disparate list of lookups. You'd have to scour dozens of resolvers to gather the map. This method concentrates all of the DNS requests to a single resolver. Unless one combined those methods of course; that would be like putting a jigsaw through a shredder that dumps its load in front of a leaf blower powered playground roundabout.

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Could be a software stub in the client computer or in a gateway. The diagram doesn't make it clear.

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Pants

Proxy DNS. Someone's getting a PhD out of this? Nothing to see here, move along.

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