* Posts by TRT

4587 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Doctor Who-inspired proxy transmogrifies politically sensitive web to avoid gov censorship

TRT
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Because...

the packet CONTENTS are not open for easy inspection, due to SSL, merely the source, destination, route and size.

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Risk-free Friday evenings, thanks to Office 365 license management

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Re: But

Flexible, my dear, flexible.

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PC sales are up across Europe. You read that right. PC sales are up

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In this scenario...

... the only winners are the insurance salespeople.

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Re: "but Brexit-blown Blighty misses out"

BM;DR (Brexit Mentioned; Didn't Read). Referendum fatigue is setting in. Sorry. HAS set in.

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Hm... It seems as if it's the BIG VENDORS that are experiencing shipment uplifts, not the Others... the smaller outfits. I don't know what to make of that.

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Seagate launches non-flying disk drive for drones

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I bought it for astrophotography, so I didn't have to touch the camera...

Exactly this.

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CompSci boffins find Reddit is ideal source for sarcasm database

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Re: Yanks can't spot irony

Hey, if you want to see the difference between irony and sarcasm, check out the "Unroll.me" news story breaking today.

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Re: Yanks can't spot irony

Ironic that the very people that should understand that, don't.

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Stanford Uni's intro to CompSci course adopts JavaScript, bins Java

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Re: I thought we needed to encourage new developers ...

Ah, but it does teach you a LOT about type casting and the hazards around that.

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Ministry of Justice scraps 'conviction by computer' law

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Re: Victim surcharge

In other words it does, albeit indirectly, go to victims of of crime.

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The victim surcharge pays into a fund that pays out to victims of crime under the appropriate class. It does NOT go to compensate the victim of YOUR crime.

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Alaska dentist 'pulled out patient's tooth while riding a hoverboard'

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Re: One more thing...

Motorbikes. Dentists. Hmm... Orin Scrivello?

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Re: Missing Tooth

Don't forget to Free/Libre Open Source Software.

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Re: One more thing...

If, for some bizarre reason, I need to know why Cathy is leaving Eastenders (the 1998 exit), or get dieting tips off Jade Goody, I am comforted by knowing that I can book a dental appointment to find the answers.

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If he appears in court...

will he have to swear to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

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(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

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Re: There's an assumption in "flying car"...

So... we might get a driving plane?

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Re: Rotors "powered by the wind"

The guy sitting next to me on the last long haul I took didn't seem to be able to fly without wind.

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Re: Cruise control

increasing degrees of freedom.

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Microsoft promises twice-yearly Windows 10, O365 updates – with just 18 months' support

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I'm sure that our director of change management...

will be loving this. He loves a bit of change for change's sake.

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Drunk user blow-dried laptop after dog lifted its leg over the keyboard

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Re: Back in the day...

Ultrapure distilled is on tap at my place. So a quick rinse in that and a few hours in the drying cabinet will work wonders.

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Re: Good on Jim

When presented with a similar situation, involving cat urine, I simply told the user to get the hard drive out themselves and I'd see what data I could recover from it, and they can bin the rest of it.

The look I gave them when they asked if they could borrow my screwdrivers...

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Base specs leak for Windows 10 Cloud – Microsoft's wannabe ChromeOS assassin

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Well there's...

not a mention about the OS licensing costs. I can save a pretty packet on my hardware just by ticking the "No OS" option.

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Have we got a new, hip compound IT phrase for you! Enter... UserDev

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Re: Users, who are they?

Sounds like exactly what our IT department churns out on a regular basis. But we can generally rely on the end users to take the code and repurpose it to make it work. Think of it as a sort of code ecosystem where the fittest survive.

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Re: There's very little wrong...

You call that a joke? I thought it was SOP.

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Re: This is not new

"Computer, in the Holmesian style, create a mystery to confound Data with an opponent who has the ability to defeat him. Create an adversary capable of defeating Data."

Worked out well. Not.

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There's very little wrong...

with building your own tools. Heck, surgeons do it all the time. It's how tools get built! But then, I work in a medical research environment, so we are always building our own tools because there either aren't any yet, or the ones that come close don't come close enough.

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Mastercard launches card that replaces PIN with fingerprint sensor

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Careful. It might cost you an arm and a leg.

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You have 9 changes available.

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They'll post out some new fingerprints.

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PACK YOUR BAGS! Boffins spot Earth-size planet most likeliest yet to harbor alien life

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Re: "most likeliest"...?

The most bestest likeliest is LV426, which is where we are sending a terra-forming colony consisting of anyone who can't use English properly, but pretends that they can.

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30,000 London gun owners hit by Met Police 'data breach'

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Re: If any crims want to know if someone has a firearm in your area...

Yeah, when Jeremy Kyle on the wall mounted flatscreen with the hidden mains supply, and you can't find the remote... I can understand the requirement.

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Regulate This! Time to subject algorithms to our laws

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Re: Plase stop using the word algorithms

And on top of that the algorithm may only be sensible over a limited range of input conditions. Now, you might be able to open up the mechanism of the algorithm to inspection, but you can't release all the possible input values because these might well contain personally identifiable information.

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Apple nabs permit to experiment with self-driving iCars in Cali

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Rounded edges, of course.

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Only one button on the dash...

Recognises your finger print and takes you home.

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Microsoft raises pistol, pulls the trigger on Windows 7, 8 updates for new Intel, AMD chips

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Re: think that Visual Studio 6 stops working after IE9.

It's not that. It's just, fool me once...

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Re: A funny thing happened...

I have to admit, I've not tried IE11. Or 10. Or 9.

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Re: Well after that...

255 shades of 999999

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Troll it your way: Burger King ad tries to hijack Google Home gadgets

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Re: Delicious!

It's another bun fight.

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Re: I think the point is

Once upon a time, back in the great and glorious days of the former Thatcher empire (before they managed to completely screw the country up), student life was wild, poor and, on the whole, the costs were met by the tax payer. Students didn't pay any tuition fees and were given money (OK, about £2,800 for the year, that's only £230 a month), housing benefit and reduced poll tax bills. They could even claim unemployment benefit during the vacations. Nowadays, of course, people don't believe a word of it.

There were those students, like myself, that had worked their way through college (that's the 16-18 institution in the UK) and were determined not to take the piss completely. Thusly, during the long Summer break between my first and second years, I presented myself at the door of Reeds employment agency in Deansgate, Manchester.

I barely had time to unpack my rucksack when the phone was ringing. "Is that Mr. TRT? Good, we've got some work for you, starting tomorrow morning in a meat packing plant in Trafford Park. Are you interested? £3.10 an hour."

On my last day there, (I had a new job lined up in a staff canteen in North Manchester), I was given the job of taking the rubbish bags from the packing and loading areas out to the dumpsters at the back of the factory. I was given half-an-hour for the task, and believe me, I needed it! I walked down the length of the Patti-matic 3000. Past the freezing tunnel, past the patty cutter, past the mixer stage, past the spicing unit, wave hello to Clive, past the stage 2 mincing device, past the stage 1 mincing device, past the meat loading stage, a curious bit where variously coloured wheeled trucks were hoisted 30 feet into the air and inverted, dumping their contents into a wide receptacle. Given the previous analogy of this machine to a beast, and the packing end as the mouth, this was presumably the anus.

I was only half-way down the factory though. The next machine was some grotesque meat chopping device which had rotating knives in it and looked like something from a Tim Burton film. This was stationed next to what could only be the world's second largest microwave, the largest being on top of Telecom tower. The conveyor snaked backwards and forwards through a separate room whilst enormous blocks of meat trundled along, some wrapped in thick blue cellophane. I don't know why they were wrapped in cellophane, but I do know that any cellophane that wasn't easily removed ended up going into the Edward Scissorhand's muff machine.

I carried on walking past machine after machine, each one having larger and more vicious looking blades, teeth, prongs and spikes, each dedicated to pre-masticating yours and my food presumably because we like it mushed up, but not too much, given the number of machines dedicated to putting it all back together again in easily recognisable shapes such as burgers and sausages. The work stations all had little plaques on them with words like de-boner, scavenging station 3, and reclamation unit 2. This last plaque was on another separate room two-thirds of the way down the production line and I could see a bunch of guys dumping the remains of carcasses into a huge metal tube with windowed sides where high-pressure hoses blasted the meat off the bones. The outlet of this room was a glass pipe pulsing with red and pink mush which disappeared God knows where down the factory [I've just had a thought; it probably led to the canteen as they had something similar looking in the Slush Puppy machine].

I could see the light at the end of the tunnel now. The back door of the factory. In the sparkling hazy distance I could make out a swathe of green separating us from the Manchester Ship Canal and beyond that the white framework of Old Trafford. I thankfully dumped my two bin liners full of waste into the large rubbish skip. The container was full of gleaming white bones mixed in with the black bags of canteen waste, discarded packaging tape and used vinyl gloves. The flies weren't swarming around these bins, oh no. They'd get more meat licking the surface of the nearby M602 (a particularly dangerous stretch) than from these bones.

It was at this point that I nearly fell into the skip with fright. I was startled by a sudden and deafeningly loud MOO! about 5 feet away from my ear and as I turned I looked into a pair of soft brown eyes. A herd of cows was munching away on the grassy plain at the raw ingredients end of the plant. I could hold my gut no longer and promptly gave the flies a whole new reason to investigate the skip.

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Re: Computer Misuse Act?

Shout through the open window "OK Google, open my front door".

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HMRC beer duty bungle leaves breweries struggling to pay online

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HMRC

Caught on the hops again. Still, at least the brewers aren't bitter about it. It's only a mild setback, could have been a much lager problem.

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Re: Wort a liberty!

Can't handle a beer o'clock that doesn't fall on a half-hour boundary? Tsk!

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Prisoners built two PCs from parts, hid them in ceiling, connected to the state's network and did cybershenanigans

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Re: Prisoners

I am not a number, I am a free man!

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Re: Odd that there were network ports available inside the secure area

And the switches weren't on 802.1X? Or were they and they had some stolen credentials?

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Hats off to them...

That took some balls, and skillz.

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Windows 10 Creators Update general rollout begins with a privacy dialogue

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Re: "To Protect me" - Microsoft, stand outside the front door of my house, not inside it.

A 5-lever dead bolt mortice with an anti-drill plate, reinforced bolt spindles and a hardened steel boxed keep to BS 3621:2007+A1:2009, an anti-tamper escutcheon, and a sprung, sliding anti-pick shutter. But the US Federal Agencies and the UK security services both have copies of the keys.

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Re: That installation dialogue in full...

[ ] The cheque's in the post.

[ ] We promise we won't come in your mouth.

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"Creators Update"

Sounds a bit... gamey to me. "The Creators"... space-faring lizards that seed the magma of class M planets with the soul dust of a myriad other alien species.

I mean, really. What's in a name?

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Bankers to get 1Gbps free Wi-Fi in City of London deal

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The proletariat have brains?

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Subpostmasters prepare to fight Post Office over wrongful theft and false accounting accusations

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Re: The Post Office is NOT Royal Mail

I was given to understand that Horizon accounted for valued stock transfer, for instance stamps, postal orders, tax discs, stationary etc. such that if £20,000 of stamps were transferred to a branch, then the value of those was added to the store inventory. In several cases, it seems, things like this were credited to a branch but the physical items were not actually transferred or logged as received even though the system had receipted it. So there were lots of valuable things missing from the inventory at the branch. It's not entirely a separate entity in that there were valuable transfers between them.

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