* Posts by TRT

6385 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Finally a platform for train puns: IBM Halt station derailed

TRT
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IBM HAL t?

Sounds like it all started going wrong in 2001.

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Holy moley! The amp, kelvin and kilogram will never be the same again

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Re: Avagadro's number...

Is the ratio of mass of stone to flesh divided by the price of two slices of gluten free bread.

Or was that Avocado's paradox?

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Re: Ship's keel.

Unobtanium?

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Re: Sad case of science ignoring the evidence

Blame the weight loss on weapons of mass destruction. And when it gains, weapons of mass creation.

So it's either the bomb or God. Take your pick.

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'Unjustifiably excessive': Not even London cops can follow law with their rubbish gang database

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Sounds like the perfect use candidate...

for blockchain.

Then they can refer to it as The Block Chaingang Matrix.

Sorry... The Blockchain Gang Matrix.

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Bright spark dev irons out light interference

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Re: Blu Tack

Ah. The zx81 ram pack. The answer to life, the universe and everything.

4/2000

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Re: I'm pleased he eventually found the cause of the problem

Obviously made of fe-right stuff.

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Six critical systems, four months to Brexit – and no completed testing

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Testing?

Testing is for wimps.

If you need me, I'll be in the Bahamas.

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Scumbag who phoned in a Call of Duty 'swatting' that ended in death pleads guilty to dozens of criminal charges

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Re: Oozy 9mm ...length or width?

Both.

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Re: You obviously need that gun to compensate for your inferior masculinity.

I have an oozy 9mm...

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Re: If someone wants one bad enough

Yeah, but guns are one of the few weapons where you don't have to be up close and personal. Detachment from the act is, if not an enabler, then... well, haptic feedback. You get what I'm saying.

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Re: Hostage situations...

Can't help but think of the conversation the Feds have in the helicopter in Die Hard... Or indeed in any number of films where hostages are set up to look like captors. You just don't know who or what is in front of you.

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Another 3D printer? Oh, stop it, you're killing us. Perhaps literally: Fears over ultrafine dust

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Re: 3D Printers

Or milk. Or milk. Or lemonade.

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Re: 'Give us money'

The good thing is that you can print a custom fume cabinet for yourself...

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Cheeky cheesemaker fails to copyright how things taste

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Re: Most Dutch cheeses I've ever had are bloody awful and taste like a tyre

If it’s Gouda nuff for the Dutch it’s Gouda nuff for me

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Re: "must be capable of being seen and heard"

Oh, I see... So synesthesia isn't real then? I call that an unconscious bias against the differently abled.

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Re: As we say up here in Yorkshire when things don't go our way

As we say up here in Yorkshire when things don't go our way whey.

TFTFY

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'Frontline workers' of the world, unite! And grab yourselves a Surface Go White Van Man edition

TRT
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Why task yourself with worry, wondering about the inevitable?

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Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

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Shurely...

That should be Portholes ME?

Macintoshes are also compulsory on-board gear; those mid-Atlantic storms can be real doozies.

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Solid state of fear: Euro boffins bust open SSD, Bitlocker encryption (it's really, really dumb)

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Re: This explains it

I've recently come to wonder if R2D2 got The Death Star pregnant.

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Re: This explains it

I was looking for a clip of Robocop's data spike.

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UK rail lines blocked by unexpected Windows dialog box

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Re: raspberry pi

But does the code base require Ruby...

...

...

...

... on rails.

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Re: Ancient meme is ancient

It looks like their IT system...

...

...

...

... went off the rails.

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Re: "Train Station"

Apparently, according to some announcements, the trains are calling TO "Harrow & Wealdstone", "Watford Junction", "Hemel Hempstead" etc etc.

And the one that really annoys me is on the underground...

"Please move along the platform to your left and towards the end carriages as the middle carriages is where the train is most busiest."

*grinds teeth*

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Russian computer failure on ISS is nothing to worry about – they're just going to turn it off and on again

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"Where the one place in the world you don't want your computer to fail?"

Or, indeed, off the world.

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UK.gov to roll out voter ID trials in 2019 local elections

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The big question is, does it have a bigger effect on voter turnout than the size of the problem it intends to correct (minus the amount of problem remaining even WITH the measures)?

I mean, if it causes 2,300 people to not bother voting because of the extra hassles, prevents 40 of the 44 misrepresentation/impersonation votes, but allows 4 impersonations despite the measure, then it has a net dis-benefit AND costs many tens of thousands of pounds.

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Transformers: Robots... at least it tries: Watch boffins' Optimus Dime rearrange on the fly

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Video is...

8x speed. This is NOT a quick robot. Cute, though. Clusterbot.

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The only "library component" I see in that video is the kick stool.

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Mourning Apple's war against sockets? The 2018 Mac mini should be your first port of call

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Re: some of these comments get on my wick

I think there's a few people on here who like to troll the dedicated Apple users and get some perverse pleasure out of doing so. I call it Macsterbaiting.

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Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

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Re: Missed one!

Someone was just having a clear out to get backspace.

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If they aren't too badly damaged...

they may FUNCTION again.

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Techie was bigged up by boss… only to cause mass Microsoft Exchange outage

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Re: Reminds me of something I heard a long time ago...

To be honest, Captain, I think you gave me too much time...

So how long will it really take, Laddie? Eh? You told him exactly how much time it would take to fix? How are you going to keep your reputation as a miracle worker doing that?

Montgomery Scott.

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Re: "... headless MS servers do indeed exist..."

I suppose they might be a turkey solution.

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Re: "... headless MS servers do indeed exist..."

ARRRGGGHHHHH! Are the halloween stories starting already?

Or there's the JK Rowling one, "Nearly headless 'nix server".

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Yes, Americans, you can break anti-piracy DRM if you want to repair some of your kit – US govt

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Re: The country you're talking about never really existed.

You mean Nambia? That's totally real and anyone saying it isn't is just fake news.

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Re: "unique screw head types and gluing or soldering components"

I wasn't jesting! The point I was making was the precedent in miniaturisation increasing the difficulty of repair. Going from discrete transistors to integrated circuits meant that if only one gate in an 8-gate array failed, you threw away the 7 good ones in replacing the component. Now we are not quite at the point yet where the screen is photogravured onto the same wafer as the processor, the LCD driver, the power components, the CCD etc etc. but that will come before too long, and at that point the integration of functions into a single manufactured component will signal the true and pure disposable, irreparable, phone.

Oh, and do you have a link for chipped vales? They sound fascinating!

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Re: "unique screw head types and gluing or soldering components"

Indeed. At one point in time, if a "switch" in your logic unit went, you could unplug that valve and replace it. Got a bit harder when you had to unsolder the transistor and replace it... then of course you could swap out that 16-pin DIL package using a chip extractor/pin straightener/insertion tool... Then you had to invest in a SMT desoldering tool... and so on and so forth...

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Re: Midterms

It would be sweet if the crop in question was apples.

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Yer a solicitor, 'arry! Indian uni takes cues from 'Potterverse' to teach students law

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I have to admit I have a certain desire...

to bangalore student. ;-)

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Re: Let's hope they got permission from JK...

To a limited degree! And I quote from the Government website...

"Teaching:

Several exceptions allow copyright works to be used for educational purposes, such as:

the copying of works in any medium as long as the use is solely to illustrate a point, it is not done for commercial purposes, it is accompanied by a sufficient acknowledgement, and the use is fair dealing. This means minor uses, such as displaying a few lines of poetry on an interactive whiteboard, are permitted, but uses which would undermine sales of teaching materials are not"

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Re: Not as crazy as it sounds...

"[...]if you need to eat him [...] but you may get a pardon"

Only if you burp out loud.

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Science: Broke brats glued to the web while silk-stocking scions have better things to do

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One stereotype about Generation Z...

is that they won't be defined by stereotypes.

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Cops called after pair enter Canadian home and give it a good clean

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Re: anti-crime

More of an "Anthea-crime", I think.

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Re: Door locks.

Indeed, one could fit a Yale IoshIT lock and achieve similar...

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London flatmate (Julian Assange) sues landlord (government of Ecuador) in human rights spat

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Re: Won't someone think of the cat?

Did he agree to look after Mrs Slocombe's pussy?

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It's reassuring...

Tidy your room, take better care of your cat, clean the bathroom after yourself, eat your greens, you're only allowed visitors your parents approve of. Or you don't get any internet.

It's reassuring that a normal upbringing really does prepare one for adult life, even one in the public limelight and at the highest echelons of international diplomacy.

Now take out those papers and that trash, or you don't get no spendi' cash. If you don't scrub that kitchen floor. You ain't gonna rock and roll no more. Just finish cleanin' up your room. Let's see that dust fly with that broom. Get all that garbage out of sight. Or you don't go out Friday night... ah.

Yakety yak (Don't talk back)

You just put on your coat and hat And walk yourself to the laundromat.

And when you finish doin' that. Bring in the dog and put out the cat

Don't you give me no dirty looks. Your father's hip; he knows what cooks

Just tell your hoodlum friend outside. You ain't got time to take a ride

Yakety yak (Don't talk back)

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Insects with farts that smell like coriander assist in covering up Paris's aroma d'urine

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Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s

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al-ARM, the Arabic chip maker.

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Re: Ringtones are cringworthy

The (now-ex) SWMBO gets "Sounds of Madness" by Shinedown.

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