* Posts by Spanners

520 posts • joined 10 Sep 2009

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Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

Spanners
Go

Re: Fibre

Or that their entire PC is a "hard drive"....

A senior managerial person came to our office and announced she needed a new hard drive. Having a few on my desk I held one out. There was a long blank moment before a "we are not amused" expression.

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Volterman 'super wallet': The worst crowdsource video pitch of all time?

Spanners
Facepalm

Techno Klutz.

Knew that by his choice of phone anyway.

And what world is he living in where a 2,600 mah power bank will charge all phones?

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User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

Spanners
Linux

Re: One week at Bigger Blue.

There are some shops that require support staff to be in trousers/shirt/tie/nice shoes because it is what looks professional.

A professional what? A professional sales Droid certainly will always wear a suit. An IT professional may not wear jeans but dressing professionally means dressing practically for the activity.

Still, it's better than undressing professionally.

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Luxembourg passes first EU space mining law. One can possess the Spice

Spanners
Alien

Dodgy Picture

Arrakis (where the spice worms come from) does not have open water like that.

Or was it a troll picture waiting for some geek to say that?

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Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

Spanners
Pint

Re: Social disease

MS is not a disease.

It is a medical condition.

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Civil rights warriors get green light to challenge UK mass surveillance

Spanners
Pint

Re: IPA

I'll drink to that!

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Ubuntu 'weaponised' to cure NHS of its addiction to Microsoft Windows

Spanners
Flame

Re: Pipe Dream

but after Chuka Umunna's stunt yesterday

Would that be where Corbyn won an approving tweet from Farage for firing front benchers who voted against the Conservatives?

Labour was the recipient of a large quantity of tactical votes. They were not given for any other reason than people want the conservatives opposed. If Labour stays like Blairs neo-Tories, they will not get those votes next election and more of their supporters will desert them again.

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Spanners
Facepalm

Paperless Office?

I can still remember (a fragment of) my induction lecture.

"Ladies and gentlemen, by the time you graduate, the paperless office will have become the norm."

I have but it hasn't. That lecture was in September 1979!

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Spanners
Holmes

Re: Cost is the smaller concern

If you deploy a modified distro, you will be just in the hands of the "consultants"

Only if all "consultants" are in the same cartel. This whole thing is open source and so *you get the source code*. You can take that to someone else. They will probably have a copy already. You can even, perhaps in conjunction with other trusts, set up your own developers.

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Hotheaded Brussels civil servants issued with cool warning: Leak

Spanners
Facepalm

Correct clothing required

The reason 30C is hot is that people in the UK do not dress and behave appropriately.

Are any of the people complaining about the weather wearing ties? How many of them are wearing suits? I have seen people in expensive business suits sweating madly and having the stupidity to tell me I was dressing unprofessionally!

Wear lighter clothing, short sleeved shirts without a tie and don't wear your nice shiniest leather shoes because they will make your feet sweat. Drink a couple of litres extra throughout the working day and wear sunglasses if you are in really bright sun. I would suggest suitable headgear but in England, that seems to be a hanky with a knot at each corner!

If you have an employer who hearkens back to the dress code of the 1930s I hope they are not expecting you to work for 1930s wages!

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Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

Spanners
Go

Re: Am I being stupid, or does this paragraph have something missing?

When dealing with US non-standards, try and use the following

Distance - furlongs

Volume - Gills for small quantities and acre-feet for large

Weight - stones

Tine - fortnights

and so no.

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Spanners
Pint

@patientone

My favourite saying was that "tracer works in both directions".

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Spanners
Pint

Re: It does

> (or she - women are actually even better than men at this)<

I was only in the OTC (long ago) so I can say it applies to students as well.

Perhaps its about the different ways males and females concentrate?

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Banking websites are 'littered with trackers' ogling your credit risk

Spanners
Linux

Any real banks?

How about such "normal" banks as

Barclays

Natwest

TSB

Royal Bank of Scotland

and so on?

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‪There's a ransom-free fix for WannaCry‬pt. Oh snap, you've rebooted your XP box

Spanners
Go

Re: "Can you tell me what a 'merengue' is please ?"

I think it's a kind of dance.

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Bye bye MP3: You sucked the life out of music. But vinyl is just as warped

Spanners
Facepalm

Unclear

I am unclear why some people think that MP3s are on the way out.

In fact, without them, it would be likely to expand - if there was anywhere for it to expand to...

Is there an audio player on the planet that can't do them? There were a few Linux distros that didn't include them by default. The first thing most people then did was to download the"non-free" stuff. Now it can be put into the main section.

MP3 is not gone. If it does not get any bigger, it is because there is nothing to expand into.

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Nuh-uh, Google, you WILL hand over emails stored on foreign servers, says US judge

Spanners
WTF?

@boltar

"liberal" left

You seem to be misusing the word "liberal". Perhaps you are using the quotation marks to mock people in the USA who identify anything they are far to the political right of as "liberal left" - even though it is actually central (which is what liberal means).

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Brexit factor lacking in Industrial Strategy, say MPs

Spanners
Unhappy

What opportunities?

Will we get a "special" agreement to trade with the USA on Trumps terms - that is, worse than we currently have under the EU? It will be our very own agreement though.

We will have less diplomatic influence so that will not lead to opportunities.

Cutting back on science means that there is less innovation and the opportunities it brings.

If we are going to do more arms business with the Saudis, there may be some opportunities. We may be able to sell to various other tin-pot totalitarians around the world. Perhaps North Korea may want some help? Syria has few friends. We could sell to Ethiopia and Eritrea and profit from their troubles. There are plenty more opportunities like these. </cynicism>

There will be the be opportunities in building a new land border with the EU if Scotland leaves the UK and rejoins the EU.

Face it, we are likely stuffed until enough ageing UKIPpers pass on and our kids can get us back in.

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Internet Society tells G20 nations: The web must be fully encrypted

Spanners
Flame

Cure the ignorance?

We need politicians to pass some sort of test on something before they are allowed to regulate it. The same goes for civil "servants", quangos and council officers.

Recently, here and across the pond, ignorance has been seen as a positive feature. "We don't need experts" was not quite the words but this sentiment is all around us.. Of "£$%^&* course we need experts! They are the people who have something meaningful to say on the subject. They are the ones providing the advice we should listen to.

If a politician who last did maths or science at the age of 16 starts to tell us how to "do computers", their input needs the *heeded* advice of people who know about it. In the same way, if a politician is keen on homeopathy, why on earth would they bu put in charge of the NHS? We can not tell them how to deal with their magic water, imaginary hackers or rich banker chums.

Maybe we need politicians who are not just arts graduates.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, fake-news-detecting AI is fake news, too

Spanners
Holmes

Long standing method

If Farage and the Daily Wail are against something, it bears further investigation. If something comes from a dodgy source, like Trump or Putin there is a good chance that it is not a fair reflection of facts.

In fact, this goes back to what newspapers used to do. They checked their sources.

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The beast is back: Reborn ekranoplan heads for the Arctic

Spanners
Happy

Re: Going round corners

They only have short stubby wings so banking would be fine until you overbalanced because of the very large tail fin.

Hovercraft aren't much good at tight cornering either. These may be the same.

I was in uniform (evenings and weekends anyway) when those things were part of the threat. I can imagine 20 year old me looking at one of those things heading towards me while I wondered WTF use this rifle was against it!

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Lochs, rifle stocks and two EPIC sea gates: Thomas Telford's Highland waterway

Spanners
Boffin

Re: Great article - shame about the copyediting

The Imperial units are useful for historical content and authenticity but modern units are useful for those of us under 80 so that we know how bit things are.

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Spanners
Facepalm

@Chazmon

That only sounds right if you mispronounce "lochs" to sound the same as "locks".

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One in five mobile phones shipped abroad are phoney – report

Spanners
Boffin

Re: risk of lethal electrocution

In British English...

Presumably by that you meant "In English"? :)

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Pirate of the Caribbean to play Hacker of the Caribbean

Spanners
Pirate

No Actor Needed

They should use CGI.

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'Clearance sale' shows Apple's iPad is over. It's done

Spanners
Thumb Down

Re: As I have said a million times

...they are generally very well specc'd...

Not particularly, As the contract for my Note4 does not run out for a couple of months, why am I frequently surprised just how poor the latest iShiny is?

The notebooks in particular are competitively priced

Not particularly although they are not as overpriced for their spec as iPhones and iPads.

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Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Spanners
Pint

It must be my aura or something?

Sometimes, I just have to walk into the room and ask people to "try again" and the computer starts working properly. Sometimes, I can do it by phone. Sometimes it works when I remote to a PC. What I think gave it away was when someone said they just asked themselves "What would Spanners do?" and it all went right.

As a group, IT support is often seen as pretty laid back. Perhaps many of us are. The rest of us are probably just calm. That is the magic. Even when we are not clear on what is happening, most of us tend not to get too stressed about it. "Stress is for managers and developers." Just an air of confindence and people try again and, this time, omit the tiny error that messes it all up.

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It's that time of the year again: Texas school district blabs staff tax documents to phishers

Spanners
Facepalm

Re: Solution

The real solution ... Doubt any government will let it happen.

In the UK, we call it PAYE - Pay As You Earn. Across the civilised world, it has various names. This is found wherever accountancy bodies have not lobbied to prevent it. It is simpler faster and more accurate than forcing everyone to screw up their own returns. It is, however, much cheaper. This is not acceptable in the Land Of The Fee.

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Spanners
Holmes

Re: Its Always The Weakest Link...

The weakest link is always in the last place you look!

Because as soon as you find it, you stop looking in any more places,,,

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GDS chap: UK.gov is better off on public cloud than its own purpose-built network

Spanners
Black Helicopters

Out of US control

Lets just make sure that whatever clouds we use are outside the USA and out of reach of criminal organisations there, like the FBI, NSA, CIA and so on...

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Apple sings another iTune following Brexit as prices rise by up to a third

Spanners
Holmes

Re: For Once

Inflation can be caused by several things including...

Price Rises

War

Pay Rises

Economic mismanagement

I think Brexit may be judged as the last item listed.

It's pretty much positive feedback anyway. Inflation causes price rises, causes inflation, causes price rises ad infinitum.

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Spanners
Holmes

For Once

Apple has behaved in a rational manner. The Prime Minister is currently outlining the suicide of the British economy. Apple can do nothing other than raise prices before inflation and financial whiz-kids shut down all foreign trade.

I do not have any Apple devices due to their dodgy business practices but this is not one of those, Other business, technology related and otherwise, are either doing the same or should be planning it. If you are going to do business here for the next few years, the ride will be rough...

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Hackers could turn your smart meter into a bomb and blow your family to smithereens – new claim

Spanners
Black Helicopters

Re: What devices connect to 'Smart' meters?

There are PLENTY of suppliers who don't use smart meters.

At present anyway. The government is in process of getting rid of "dumb" meters. Business first then the peasantry. It's running a bit late though...

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Support chap's Sonic Screwdriver fixes PC as user fumes in disbelief

Spanners
Pint

Re: How I miss CRT's

Growing UP, now that's something some of us never quite managed.

I have successfully avoided growing up anyway..

It's easy. Keep looking at interesting aircraft. Smile at fart jokes. Avoid wearing a tie unless its a funeral. Listen to Status Quo.

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Smart meter benefits even crappier than originally thought

Spanners

When I retire

One day, SNP/Brexit/.Global warming/etc permitting, I would like to go back to Orkney. Bizarrely, there are PV arrays on some houses but there are wind turbines everywhere and it is the only county in the UK to be "power neutral" and they are still building them.

I imagine that they use more than they generate at times and less at others. I never heard anyone whining about them - certainly none of my relatives or friends. I remember that, before I left, it was often outsiders who tried to persuade us that these things were nasty. Happily, they seem to have failed. Renewables are cheaper than fossil fuels - at least when your renewable is doing 25mph on a "calm" day and 90 on a stormy one!

I want my smart meter to show how much I am putting *into* the grid, not taking from it. It will still be very much isolated from the rest of the network...

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Spanners
Coat

Your Mothers WiFi

Get it on its own SSID with nothing else in it or able to be as you've put a MAC address filter in too.

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Higher tech prices ARE here to stay. It's Mr Farage's new Britain

Spanners
Facepalm

Re: Brexit means brexit.

No. The British voter saw no such thing. Many British voters looked to Boris and his chums..

They saw that they were very definite in what they promised. They heard that they shouldn't listen to people who knew what they were talking about. They heard that all the experts knew less about the economy than the owners of the Daily Wail.

They looked at Nigel and saw he seemed like a nice used car salesman and over a third of them voted for national sepukku.

This was not a rational process. Every time they heard something worrying, they put their hands over their ears and said the mantra "Project Fear".

Only an idiot still believes in that 18th century idea "sovereignty". No countries are sovereign. A couple of failed states have come close, Somalia for example. Even North Korea does business with China. It may host a couple of embassies. I imagine that it does business with someone? It is not completely sovereign then. Some of the worlds biggest successes have their economies heavily affected by others, have lots of treaty obligations and are part of large trade groupings like the one that we are being undemocratically forced to leave.

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It’s Brexploitation! Microsoft punishes UK for Brexit with cloud price-gouging

Spanners
Alert

Brexit means codgeup

Anyone who voted out needs to go into a corner and be miserable. The remaining 5/8 of the electorate needs to figure out how we are going to get out of this sorry hole.

Ideally, we say "Oops!" and announce that not enough people voted for it(*) and we are looking to send Nigel, Boris and Gove to Washington as new cleaners for the embassy.

(*) No, it wasn't 52% of the electorate. It was little over a third of electors who voted for the economic seppuku of Brexit.

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Brexit means Brexit: What the heck does that mean...

Spanners
Childcatcher

Re: Goldsmith lost in Richmond because of it. Apparently.

Referundum question :- IN\OUT of EU; OUT won by 13:12 in a legally advisory only vote.

No. The "Out" vote got 37.5% of the electorate. They seem to have won 3 to 5 - where they got the 3...

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Spanners

Re: Can you hold down the power button

The following phrases and their synonyms are regarded as interchangeable

Log off

Shut down

Restart

Unplug

Dismantle

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Brexit may not mean Brexit at all: UK.gov loses Article 50 lawsuit

Spanners
Facepalm

Arithmetic needed

72.2% voted in the opinion poll

51.9% of them voted to leave

0.722 * 0.519 = 0.374718 so we can round that up to 37.5% or three out of 8 of the electorate.

That meant the other 5 did not.

And that is before you consider that a sizeable proportion of the Brexiters were elderly white people and that demographic is a shrinking percentage.

If we leave now, this country is going to want back in and the terms will not be so favourable...

None of Maggies discounts

Join the Euro

and so on

So leaving now will cost our children dearly and will not only be undone but we will be more deeply part of it once the historical blunder of Brexit is recognised as such,,,

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Spanners
FAIL

They wouldn't be so stupid as to over-rule a referendum, would they?

There is nothing to overrule. The OPCKATR was not legally binding and had less than half the electorate choosing Brexit.. Parliament regularly ignores advice - much of it good advice. It is no stretch to ignore this too.

OPCKATR - Opinion Poll Commonly Known As The Referendum

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Spanners
Boffin

Re: Handy....

By "project fear", I presume you mean the inconvenient facts and experts the politicians found unacceptable?

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Google has unleashed Factivism to smite the untruthy

Spanners
Facepalm

Re: Those who like facts will pay attention. Otherwise not.

I would trust a review of a medical breakthrough more from the BMJ than, say, the Daily Mail.

I think many people would trust a review more from the Beano than the Daily Mail.

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A sorry Brexcuse! Systemax blames Brexit for car crash Q3 results

Spanners
Meh

@jess

We might end up remaining in the EEA (which is really all that the referendum question gives a mandate for).

The referendum did not give a mandate for anything. It was not legally binding either. The only mandates we have around here are ones supplied by parliament or possibly the Queen.

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Cynical Apple gouges UK with 20 per cent price hike

Spanners
Facepalm

20% ???

They obviously think the pound has further to fall.

In the meantime, just think of it as advance Gullibility Tax.

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Hell desk thought PC fire report was a first-day-on-the-job prank

Spanners
Flame

@I ain't Spartacus

This is not the fault of your Estates Department, It's the law!

Some professional suit wearer somewhere decided that it was confusing having 3 different colours - black red and cream for most office and domestic extinguishers. Just think of it as if they wanted to replace the 3 different foot pedals in our cars with just the one!

Should you even have water extinguishers in your area?

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Possible reprieve for the venerable A-10 Warthog

Spanners
Happy

Re: On Loitering Aircraft.

Isn't the Apache a better loiterer?

Loitering is not the only thing. The Feet want something overhead that is slow enough to be accurate, tough enough to take punishment, dangerous enough to take out everything from a piece of concrete to a main battle tank and bowel looseningly scary. That's an A10 then...

Those things sound weird!

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Aussie trams equivalent to 30 skateboarding rhinos

Spanners
Boffin

Natural Unit

Why no Smoots?

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NSA, GCHQ and even Donald Trump are all after your data

Spanners
Black Helicopters

@Tom Paine

Perhaps everyone who knows that they "have nothing to hide" should start using encryption?

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