* Posts by Arthur the cat

616 posts • joined 18 Aug 2009

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Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers

Arthur the cat
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Beloved Community Licence

A perfect example of Poe's Law.

Strangely it doesn't mention tree/bunny hugging, so I think we need a fork.

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Mad scientist zaps himself to determine the power of electric eel shocks

Arthur the cat
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Boffin

One bit of history I've remembered

is that the ancient Greeks applied an electric eel as the treatment for a prolapsed rectum.

Icon because there isn't a lightning strike option.

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EU's tech giant tax plan moves forward

Arthur the cat
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Re: EU - making it up as they go along

One might very cogently argue that paying more tax now to avoid being slaughtered with a turnover tax later is definitely in the long-term interests of their shareholders.

Except that's liable to happen some time after Hell hosts the Winter Olympics. Such a change needs unanimous support from all EU members. All Amazon, Google, et al have to do is go to the Irish and Luxembourg governments and say "Nice revenue stream you've got here squire, be a shame if it got broken" and there's two votes against the reform.

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Just how are HMRC’s IT systems going to cope with Brexit?

Arthur the cat
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plans to digitise the tax system, while simultaneously untying itself from the £800m per-year mega IT contract. And that’s before Brexit.

Oh look, a Big Bang change. Undoubtedly it will produce a whole new universe - of pain. Probably for us tax payers as well.

Government IT, just say "run away".

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MPs accuse Amazon and eBay of profiteering from VAT fraudsters

Arthur the cat
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VAT lost to HMRC and lost to the UK

The VAT may be lost to HMRC but the money isn't lost to the UK, it's still in the pockets of the UK buyers who didn't have to pay it in the first place.

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Ex-EDS bod at DXC Technologies? Sign up to new pension scheme - or else...

Arthur the cat
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“The company would intend that until you do sign the document, you would not receive any future increases in your basic or gross pay (including bonus, commission and overtime),” Wilson added in his email

I'm not a lawyer but that looks like a bunch of constructive dismissal cases in the making.

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Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers

Arthur the cat
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Re: Good luck at any self respecting BOFH's home

Ah, security by obscurity!

It's known as chaffing - hide a secret by burying it in lots of other stuff that looks (or smells in this case) like the secret to an attacker.

More security by massively increasing the effort needed.

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El Reg is hiring an intern. Here's the lowdown...

Arthur the cat
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grizzled (and not-so-grizzled) hacks at Vulture Central

Does this mean El Reg has in-house grizzling facilities? Or is it outsourced so you have to send the not-so-grizzled ones away to be grizzled?

Yes, I am finding it difficult to focus on work today. How did you know?

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'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

Arthur the cat
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Re: What is wrong with abreviations these days?

Internet of Things ought to be IT, but presumably the twonk who though the name up didn't want it confused with Information Technology...

As it deals with sensors and the like, just call it the Small Hardware Internet of Things for an obvious acronym.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"i will be doing the necessary".

Someone in India has taught all the call centre staff this. it makes me giggle and go crazy in equal amounts.

Almost certainly standard Indian English, which is yet another variation in our great common tongue. My personal favourite IndEng word is "prepone", meaning "to bring forward in time", by analogy with "postpone".

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Arthur the cat
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Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong

Anybody else got Flanders and Swann's The Reluctant Cannibal running through their head?

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Boffins' satcomms rig uses earthly LEDs to talk to orbiting PV panels

Arthur the cat
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Trollface

Re: Did I read that right?

The other down side of using light is how will your weather satellite tell you if it is cloudy?

In much the same way as your computer tells you it has no power?

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The new, new Psion is getting near production. Here's what it looks like

Arthur the cat
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Struggled to get my head round this sentence.

Probably a typo for "While technology produces modern wonders"

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F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

Arthur the cat
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Coming soon

Targeted adverts on the HUD.

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Red Hat speed fiends celebrate automation

Arthur the cat
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"When you automate, you accelerate."

Fine, unless there's a brick wall or cliff ahead of you.

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Scottish pensioners rage at Virgin cabinet blocking their view

Arthur the cat
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It's funny

how a company called Virgin manages to fuck things up so frequently.

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Thousands of hornets swarm over innocent fire service drone

Arthur the cat
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The attacked drone is undoubtedly watching the YouTube videos of the Chinese drone equipped with a flame thrower, and sighing "I wish I had one".

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HMS Queen Lizzie impugned by cheeky Scot's drone landing

Arthur the cat
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Re: Assuming it was armed...

What would they shoot it down with, exactly?

The US army is using Stinger missiles against UAVs. Good job they've got the budget because the cost is ~38k$ per shot.

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Good Lord: Former UK spy boss backs crypto

Arthur the cat
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Re: Exports

the UK is a net exporter of terrorists

Another triumph of our beloved government: "British terrorists are the finest in the world! We'll sign trade deals with every failed state on the planet just as soon as we leave the EU."

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Hell desk to user: 'I know you're wrong. I wrote the software. And the protocol it runs on'

Arthur the cat
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Re: HR Fail

HR, better know as Human Remains

In one company I worked in, they were known as "Animal Husbandry".

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At last, a kosher cryptocurrency: BitCoen

Arthur the cat
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I'm calling april fool (please...??)

2017, the year April 1st lasted forever.

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Assange offers job to sacked Google diversity manifestbro

Arthur the cat
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Mushroom

the global alliance of weapons-grade bellends

Sadly it's probably even harder to get an international treaty banning bellends than it is to get one banning nukes. Even if we did, North Korea would insist on producing their own(*).

(*) One could argue they already have done, code named "Fat Boy with weird haircut".

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Particle boffins show off 'cheap', cute little CosI, world's smallest neutrino detector

Arthur the cat
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Typo

a proton accelerator, which produces a photon beam

Sort out your photons and protons.

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VCs to Trump: Don't lock out our meal tickets! Save startup visas!

Arthur the cat
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Caption competition needed

That photo at the top of the article is calling out for one.

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Are you a clean freak? Are you a keen geek? Do you think space is neat?

Arthur the cat
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Sounds like a job for

Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper. A man much concerned with purity of essence.

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If you love your email standards, SMTP your feet: 35 years later

Arthur the cat
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SMTP is the last major protocol that seriously needs a redesign from the ground up.

IP was redesigned from the ground up to give IPv6 21 years ago. The highest adoption figure seems to be ~37% in Belgium, maybe 16% world wide according to Google's search requests.

We'd end up with dual SMTP/SMTP2 systems for at least 30 years, which would be worse than the current problems.

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'Would you like fries with that?' The cloud wants to know

Arthur the cat
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Would you like fries with that?

Not if they're called Stephen.

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'Real' people want govts to spy on them, argues UK Home Secretary

Arthur the cat
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The only difference between Amber Rudd "doing something" about encryption and a labrador competing on Only Connect is that there isn't a large enough plastic bag to scoop up the mess that Rudd will produce.

Otherwise both have a look of baffled incomprehension and a pitiful desire to please their master .

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Go fork yourself: Bitcoin has split in two – and yes, it's all forked up

Arthur the cat
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Re: In related NEWS....

The Dutch ate tulip bulbs at the end of the second world war when there was fuck all else to eat.

Article on it here. On the whole, not a gourmet dish.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: Carp Soup

I believe in conkers as currency, and I have some really shiny conkers.

There's about 20 horse chestnut trees on the common near where I live, so I'm willing to trade in conker futures.

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Petition calls for Adobe Flash to survive as open source zombie

Arthur the cat
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Flame

Re: FFS

Let it fucking die.

Too weak.

Kill it with fire!

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Linus Torvalds pens vintage 'f*cking' rant at kernel dev's 'utter BS'

Arthur the cat
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Linus is a throwback to the bad old days when IT was king.

Personally I think Linus is actually a performance art collective.

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Virgin Media's profanity warning triggered by chief exec's name

Arthur the cat
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Re: Ivor Baddick

"Gaynor Hardon"

I was at university with someone called Gaynor Goodbody - and he was a large bloke(*).

(*) About whom many stories can be told, but not in a public forum due to libel laws. :-)

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Got some pom-poms handy? UK.gov seeks a geography cheerleader

Arthur the cat
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head of geography

Are leather elbow patches mandatory?

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HMS Frigatey Mcfrigateface given her official name

Arthur the cat
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Type numbers?

Can anyone explain how the type numbers work, because they're obviously not monotonic?

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We're all saved. From the killer AI. We can live. Thanks to the IEEE

Arthur the cat
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Obligatory xkcd (what if version)

Robot apocalypse

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$30 million below Parity: Ethereum wallet bug fingered in mass heist

Arthur the cat
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Those who don't learn from history

I think it was Tim Worstall, late of this parish, who remarked that cryptocurrencies seem to be heading towards faithfully reproducing every mistake ever made down the centuries by conventional financial systems.

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Why the Kubernetes Kids can't hurt Bezos' Amazon beast

Arthur the cat
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the concern is a waxing Amazon Web Services

Amazon does Brazilians now???

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NASA whistles up electron noise from the Van Allen belt

Arthur the cat
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Re: Does that make the Van Allen belt

Whistler's mother?

Up vote for beating me to the joke.

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Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

Arthur the cat
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you wouldn't have Miss Marple played by Brian Blessed

God, I would absolutely love to see that. It would be car crash/cult TV at its extreme.

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Arthur the cat
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Trollface

Re: If you're all in favour of strong female roles...

If the new Doctor was an orca or an elephant or some other intelligent species, it would be fun and weird.

Time loop TV - an elephantine Doctor goes back in time to appear on Blue Peter.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: Overstated importance of fans

I doubt many fan or those who watched the original series are even alive to care all that much if the Doctor is a women or not.

FFS, the original series was in 1963, not 1863! That's only 54 years. A kid who started watching at episode one (like me) is going to be in their 60s, which is well below life expectancy. Or do you live in Glasgow?

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Nearly three-quarters of convicted TV Licence non-payers are women

Arthur the cat
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Re: TV License

Its ok paying for something if you actually use it. I dont see the point if you don't and thats where you should have a choice

You do have a choice - if you don't have a TV you don't need a TV licence(*). It's a licence to receive broadcast TV. The fact that the money from it mostly goes to the BBC and C4 doesn't change the nature of the licence. I'm old enough to remember when you needed a radio licence, and back then nobody whinged about "only listening to Radio Luxembourg so why should I pay for the Third Programme".

(*) Although that doesn't stop the bastards hassling you endlessly.

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Arthur the cat
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If I were a sky subscriber and I stopped paying, they'd cut off my service. If you are a BBC subscriber and you stop paying, you eventually go to prison.

Strictly speaking you don't get jailed for not having a licence, you get jailed because you didn't pay the fine the court imposed for not having a licence.

If someone is too poor to pay the licence, it's bloody stupid fining them, expecting them to hand over cash they haven't got. WTF they don't get community service is beyond me.

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UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

Arthur the cat
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The government will give UK ISPs a list of banned sites they are to block. Similar to the blocked pirate sites, but without any judicial review of the list.

The government will give a few big ISPs a list of banned sites they are to block. Smaller ISPs (who are generally more competent at providing a service as well, without £1/minute help lines) will remain unaffected. My ISP doesn't block anything and is always in the top three for customer satisfaction.

A thought just occurred to me: does the existing block list of pirates apply to all net connections, or just consumer ones?

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Google unleashes 20m lab-created blood-thirsty freaks on a city. And this is a good thing, it says

Arthur the cat
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Re: You're being downvoted

Take Physics for example. They do not know what 90% of the Universe is made up of. They can't measure it, they can't see it.

Would you let a baker lecture you on baking if they didn't have a clue what 90% of the cake they're trying to sell was made up of.

Bakers make cakes, so should know what's in them. Physicists don't make universes. (Yet. :-)

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Arthur the cat
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Re: Having had Dengue Fever,

But I do worry about the knock-on effects: there's an awful lot of other life out there in the food chain, and a lot of it starts with either the mosquito or its larvae. I wonder what they'll do a couple of years down the line?

I can't remember the exact figures, but there are something like 200 species of mosquito, only a handful of which suck blood, so eradicating the latter shouldn't have much of an overall impact on the food chains. However, considering humans have god knows how many hundreds of millennia of adapting to malaria (e.g. our blood groups are such an adaptation), the possible elimination of malaria is liable to have interesting results.

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IETF moves meeting from USA to Canada to dodge Trump travel ban

Arthur the cat
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Devil

many pro-Brexit commentards would not be so outraged by others pointing out the current PM is an uncaring cockwomble

I thought that was the one point of clear agreement between the sides? Especially if you s/uncaring/incompetent/

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Wi-Fi firm Purple sneaks 'community service' clause into its T&Cs

Arthur the cat
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Re: Purple

Personally I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. My local coffee shop across the road uses Purple, and they (Purple, coffee shop people wouldn't know how to) intercept everything and blatantly rewrite search results to Purple redirector links. It's one of the few places where I make sure my WiFi is off and stick to 4G, and I'm always surprised by the number of people working there, handling what looks like corporate stuff, when the pub down the road has a truly open WiFi. (I know it's not intercepting anything, the landlord gets me to help with it.)

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Guess who doesn't have to pay $1.3bn in back taxes? Of course it's fscking Google

Arthur the cat
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Re: So..

Google are really going to have to learn how Politics works.

I suspect they do. They also know very well how international tax law works, which is more important in this case.

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