* Posts by Symon

1470 posts • joined 18 Aug 2009

Good job, Oz feds: Conroy wants you investigated for privilege and contempt

Symon
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Headmaster

Inspector Cluseau called: he wants his bumbling schtick back

_Chief_ Inspector Clouseau.

Francois: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?

Clouseau: The exploding kind.

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Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Symon
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Re: And Picard is now a turd

Surely number twos?

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IT team sent dirt file to Police as they all bailed from abusive workplace

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Re: Uhhhmmmmm

@idiot. You raise some interesting questions which can, I think, be answered by applying Occam's razor. This is an obvious made up story.

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Jeremy Hunt pockets £14m through sale of course search website

Symon
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Re: Hunt's Capital Gains?

10%

https://www.gov.uk/entrepreneurs-relief/eligibility

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Symon
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Pocketing more than £14m (before tax)

He won't have to pay too much tax, probably 10% because of entrepreneur's tax relief.

https://www.gov.uk/entrepreneurs-relief/eligibility

Good for him.

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Mr Angry pays taxman with five wheelbarrows worth of loose change

Symon
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Headmaster

Re: He'd be shit out of luck in the UK

Plywood (usually) comes in 8 ft lengths. Not 10!

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Symon
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Mushroom

This is why he got angry.

Him. I have a quick question about a new vehicle purchase.

DMV jobsworth. Who are you? How did you get this number?

Him. Nick Stafford, and, I did a FOIA request...thanks

DMV jobsworth. Well sir, you are not allowed to call this number

Him. Well ma'am, I just did so...

DMV jobsworth. The public isn't supposed to have access to this number. (hangs up)

http://www.craftvinyl.com/page165

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Symon
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Eighty bucks for a wheelbarrow?

Forty quid at Screwfix! Anyway, I wonder if the wheelbarrows are a deductible tax expense?

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Donald Trump will take cybersecurity advice from, um, Rudy Giuliani

Symon
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Big Brother

Wrong song?

This town...is coming like a ghost town.

Jerry Dammers :- "The overall sense I wanted to convey was impending doom."

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Peace-sign selfie fools menaced by fingerprint-harvesting tech

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Re: For the 1,000th time

"without the warhead" Just wondering, what did you do with the warhead?

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Symon
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Mushroom

Re: Not that it matters much with most Brits...

Indeed.

http://ww2today.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Churchill-first-V-sign.jpg

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Dieselgate: VW pleads guilty, will cough up $4.3bn, throws 6 staff under its cheatware bus

Symon
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Holmes

Re: Remind me again...

If you simply search the internet for the answer to your question, you'll find that it's 35. Maybe that's pitifully few, but it's more than zero.

http://money.cnn.com/2016/04/28/news/companies/bankers-prison/

"The idea that no bankers went to prison for crimes related to the financial crisis is a myth, according to the watchdog overseeing the federal government's bailout fund. There have been 35 bankers sentenced to prison, said Christy Goldsmith Romero, the special inspector general for the Troubled Assets Relief Program (SIGTARP), in a report to Congress released Thursday."

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Juniper warns: Borked upgrade opens root on firewalls

Symon
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Paris Hilton

@hmv.

1) What would it need to be big enough?

2) What features are missing?

I'm genuinely interested in what your opinion is, I must be missing something. I can't imagine how big a network would need to be that a pfSense box and a decent managed switch couldn't handle. Thanks.

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Symon
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Re: I'll leave this here.

@Dwarf, I did it. I wouldn't recommend anything without putting my money where my mouth is!

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Symon
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Go

I'll leave this here.

https://pfsense.org/

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Asteroid nearly gave Earth a new feature, two days after its discovery

Symon
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Re: What if it had hit?

Nah, Pam woke up and he was in the shower. It was all a dream.

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Symon
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Mushroom

Re: What if it had hit?

"At that size meteors don't burn up, but disintegrate/explode midair."

Bolides!

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For Fark's sake! Fark fury follows 5-week ad ban for 5-year-old story

Symon
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Childcatcher

@KH

A better example might be this article.

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/07/brit_isps_censor_wikipedia/

Although the article doesn't include the picture in question, it does link to the probably NSFW page:-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_Killer

in which "the child was not in clothes and most definitely under age."

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Fake History Alert: Sorry BBC, but Apple really did invent the iPhone

Symon
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Facepalm

Diesel engine.

The same bloke wrote an article about the Diesel engine.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-38302874

"The young Diesel's life was changed by a lecture on thermodynamics at the Royal Bavarian Polytechnic of Munich, where he learned that it was theoretically possible to make an internal combustion engine that would convert all heat into work."

Rudolf didn't learn that at all. He would have learn from Carnot's theorem that steel internal combustion engines can be about 50% efficient before they melt. The article then continues to suggest that the oil industry suppressed steam power development, and if it wasn't for that, we'd all be driving around in traction engines or somesuch. Fucking economists are hopeless overreaching tosspots. And that Nobel prize they get? It's not a real Nobel prize, it's a prize started in 1968 and donated by the Swedish national bank.

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NASA taps ESA satellite Swarm for salty ocean temperature tales

Symon
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Re: Hmmm....

@phuzz. Smallpox.

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Symon
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Childcatcher

Re: Hmmm....

@ES. I'm pretty sure one of the main tests of a theory is that it makes predictions. So far, the climate models have only been able to make accurate predictions about the past. As Niels Bohr may or may not have said, "Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future." The answer to all this is to get better data to make better models. So, this new satellite measurement can help.

It seems to me that Scott Adams's Law of Slow-Moving Disasters applies. Simply stated, his observation is that "whenever humanity can see a slow-moving disaster coming, we find a way to avoid it."

http://blog.dilbert.com/post/108795418171/adams-law-of-slow-moving-disasters-update

In my opinion, governments should be spending more money on looking for massive rocks in space, than climate science. Bolides are a proven threat, and not a slow moving disaster. It moves very quickly, and that's the problem. If the world's sea levels gradually rise a bit, we can get the Dutch in to build a polder. If the sea turns into a 1km high tsunami, even our dyke loving friends won't be able to help.

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Bank robber reveals identity – by using his debit card during crime

Symon
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WTF?

Re: Natural selection at it's finest.

@joe. That's an impressive camera that can see and record San Diego from the UK. Stick to the snooker, reading, or perhaps geography, doesn't seem to be your forte.

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Fatal genetic conditions could return in some 'three-parent' babies

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Re: why

"In Mrs. Swinton’s garden, it was always summer. The lovely almond trees stood about it in perpetual leaf. Monica Swinton plucked a saffron-colored rose and showed it to David."

http://brianaldiss.co.uk/writing/story-collections/collections-r-z/supertoys-last-all-summer-long/

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NASA plans seven-year trip to Jupiter – can we come with you, please?

Symon
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Headmaster

"Jupiter to explore its Trojan zones. These are two points on either side of the planet"

How can a zone be a point? The points are the L4 and L5 Lagrangian points and each Trojan librates around one of these points.

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Speeding jet of Siberian liquid hot Magma getting speedier, satellites find

Symon
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Pint

Re: The mind boggles

"He should be encouraged to ask questions" Of course. But, sadly, maybe the Register forums isn't the best place to get such encouragement. Anyway, if Lusty complains to me, I'll try and be nice. Who knows, maybe Lusty is a troll who's laughing at all this brouhaha! And how do you know that 'Lusty' is male?

"Richard Dawkins isn't necessarily a role model for human interaction." How about Stewart Lee?

"In the past few months, I’ve become religious, I’ve started to believe in God, creationism and intelligent design, and the reason that I now believe in God and creationism and intelligent design is because of Professor Richard Dawkins. Because when I look at something as complex and intricate and beautiful as Professor Richard Dawkins, I don’t think that just could’ve evolved by chance! Professor Richard Dawkins was put there by God to test us, like fossils. And facts."

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Symon
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Re: The mind boggles

@m0rt, thank you for your reply. I nearly added something to my post about weather being chaotic, but I thought that might distract from my main point, which is that the Earth's insolation _varies_ by about three times as much as the _total_ energy from geothermal sources at the surface. Even in chaotic systems, you need to look at the main driver first. If you're in an F5 tornado, you're not gonna worry about a butterfly flapping its wings.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's certainly true that geology affects the weather and climate. All those moving continents make huge differences. So do massive volcanic eruptions. Those things amplify the sun's affect on the weather. What got me 'testy' was someone claiming that the heat from a bit of moving magma deep in the bowels of the Earth could affect the weather without providing one jot of evidence that this is at all likely. And then they throw in that it could be the "root cause of the jetstream" as if this offers some validity to the nonsense being spouted. FWIW, the 'root cause' of the jetstream is fairly well understood. Spoiler alert:- 'It's not geothermal energy'!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jet_stream#Cause

That said, I gratefully accept the rebuke for being grumpy, but, as Richard Dawkins quoted, "Science is interesting and if you don't agree you can fuck off". Happy New Year!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysxG5jFeTME

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Symon
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Flame

@Vince. Magmanado. Enough Said.

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Symon
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Stop

Re: The mind boggles

@Lusty. More likely you're talking out of your arse. Why not save someone the bother and do a little bit of research before you post?

"The flow of heat from Earth's interior to the surface is estimated at 47 terawatts (TW). Despite its geological significance, this heat energy coming from Earth's interior is actually only 0.03% of Earth's total energy budget at the surface, which is dominated by 173,000 TW of incoming solar radiation."

Given that the Earth's insolation "variation during solar cycle 21 was about 0.1% (peak-to-peak)", your claim that geothermal energy affects the weather seems unlikely, given that it changes vary little over time. Whatever, it's the fucking flaming thing in the sky that does the weather!

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Astroboffins glimpse sighting of ultra-rare circular galaxy

Symon
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Holmes

Re: odds not that odd

"The odds must be properly astronomical." Which is why it's real. Space really is 'properly astronomical'.

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Xmas software update knackered US Customs computer systems

Symon
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Re: Welcome to Amerika

I always use courier when sending to San Serriffe.

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Virgin America mid-flight panic after moron sets phone Wi-Fi hotspot to 'Samsung Galaxy Note 7'

Symon
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"we may not notice the odd slap either" Like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvPugcb7QGE

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Chinese boffins: We're testing an 'impossible' EM Drive IN SPAAAACE

Symon
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Re: Many Bothans died to bring us this plot device

@Maffski. "it just demonstrates that our understanding of those laws is incomplete"

No problem with that. But, as Carl Sagan said, "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence".

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Symon
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Thumb Up

Re: There is one born every day...

"bottomless energy source"

Yes, combine it with zero-point energy. It'll need a large accelerator pedal, get a bigfoot to drive it.

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Symon
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Stop

Re: Ridiculous power for a result

"The trick is that the equations work in either direction."

What part of the second law of thermodynamics don't you understand? When I push my car, the tank doesn't start filling up with petrol.

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Symon
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Re: Many Bothans died to bring us this plot device

Alchemists. "Oh, Edmund! Can it be true? That I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of purest Green?"

I'm with Monsters on this. To paraphrase, Homer J. Simpson, "Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of physics."

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Don't pay up to decrypt – cure found for CryptXXX ransomware, again

Symon
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I'll leave this here...

rdiff-backup

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Did webcam 'performer' offer support chap payment in kind?

Symon
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Headmaster

"The plural is often believed to be viri or even virii, but neither is correct Latin and both are neologistic folk etymology." and makes the writer look like an insufferable smart-arse.

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Landmark EU ruling: Legality of UK's Investigatory Powers Act challenged

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Re: This is great news...

@MGJ. What's your point? The ECJ is the highest court in the European Union in matters of European Union law. It's part of the EU.

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Symon
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Stop

Re: Yup...

@MGJ. You're wrong. Twice. The ECJ is an EU body. If you leave the EU, you leave the ECJ. You're maybe confusing the ECJ with the ECHR?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Court_of_Justice

Here's a map of jurisdiction. Look carefully at Norway, Switzerland and Iceland.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Court_of_Justice#/media/File:European_Union_(orthographic_projection).svg

Here's the ECHR map.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Court_of_Human_Rights#/media/File:Council_of_Europe_(orthographic_projection).svg

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Non-existent sex robots already burning holes in men’s pockets

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Re: I want one.

On sex robots, Richard Herring has been banging on for ages. "I asked my wife if she’d mind me having sex with a robot that looked exactly like the actor Gemma Chan and for some reason she said that she would mind that. Would it really count as cheating to just use a machine for such a purpose? It’s not actually a person and I bet if I used a non-human shaped machine to provide the same service then divorce wouldn’t be on the cards. If my wife came home to find me up to my apricots in the toaster, I think she might be concerned for my mental health and perhaps ask me to buy a new toaster. But would our marriage be over?"

http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/29/richard-herring-robot-sex-is-not-at-all-sleazy-and-shouldnt-count-as-infidelity-5317483/

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HMRC IT cockup misses nearly 1m Scottish taxpayers for devo PAYE letters

Symon
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Re: Good for Scotland

And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's emigrants. Rats! Leaving the country. Always the same places, isn't it? Former British colonies, New Zealand, Canada, Australia, United States of America. Rats, emigrants, emigrating, going over there having sex with their women, taking their money and skills. Emigrants. They ring you up, don't they, the emigrants, from their new home in New Vancouver Zealand Frisco. They go, "We love it here, Stew, in the former British colony. Quality of life. The quality of life is superior." "What do you mean? What quality of life is there, emigrant", you must ask them, "in your new former colonial home? Is there any good news coverage there? In the printed word, or? Is there any news coverage you can trust in any way? Is there any good news coverage?" "No, there's nothing like that here, Stew. We don't know what's going on. Has there been a war? But the quality of life here, Stew, is superb. You can't put a price on it." "What do you mean, emigrant?" "Former British colony, quality of life." Is there any, um "Is there any cultural stimulation, any kind of good, er, documentaries or theatre, anything like that?" "No. There's nothing like that here, Stew. It's like having your brain cut out and flung into a swamp. But the quality of life here, Stew, is absolutely You can't put a price on the quality" "What do you mean, emigrant, quality of life in your former colonial home? Is there any sort of, er, intellectual or social pleasure for you there of any form?" They go, "No, there's nothing like that, Stew. It's like being dead. But the quality of life here, Stew, in the former British colony, it's fantastic! You can't put a price on it." "What do you mean, emigrant?" Nail them down! "Quality of life, what do you mean by quality of life in your former colonial home?" They go, "I'll tell you what I mean, Stew, by quality of life.I'll tell you what there is here in the former British colony, quality of life. There's massive prawns, Stew! There's massive prawns here, Stew! In the former British colony, massive prawns! Five times the size of your British prawns. Massive prawns, Stew."

http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=stewart-lees-comedy-vehicle-2009&episode=s02e05

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Symon
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Pint

Re: Good for Scotland

@Smudge, agreed, that's why I put 'often'. Anyway, next time around, the Scottish Government will have significant tax raising powers, which hasn't been the case until now. We'll see what happens then!

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Symon
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Meh

Re: Good for Scotland

Yep, that's what everybody says in public. In the privacy of the polling place/station, history tells us they often say different.

If you're serious about it, set up a standing order to HMRC to pay a bit more. Not many do this.

For example. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-31963099

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BT and Plusnet most moaned about broadband providers. Again

Symon
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Re: Heaven 17

"a shame how Plusnet [] have fallen"

Crushed by the wheels of industry?

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Why does Skype only show me from the chin down?

Symon
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Flame

Indeed, the calm before the storm.

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Ancient water found in Canada is two billion years old – giving hope to Mars colony dreamers

Symon
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Headmaster

Re: Close

The article seems to have a picture of Haiti at the top. What's that all about?

p.s. Jimmy Edwards picture:-

https://c2.staticflickr.com/2/1438/1291449437_51d8b0e3e6.jpg

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MPs suggest introducing web blocking to tackle suicide rates in UK

Symon
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Holmes

"the actual number may be higher."

"Over 6,100 deaths in the UK in 2015 were registered as suicides, though the actual number may be higher."

Damn right it's higher. And this is why:-

"Following an inquest, the coroner or jury can reach [its] conclusions once satisfied of the necessary facts to the required standard of proof. The civil standard is used, namely 'on the balance of probabilities', except for conclusions of unlawful killing and suicide where the criminal standard of 'beyond all reasonable doubt' applies."

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/a_to_c/coroners/#a09

Here's a tragic example, the former footballer Gary Speed. He hanged himself in his garage, and yet the coroner said "that he may have been making a ‘dramatic gesture’ rather than trying to kill himself." This is why suicide is under-reported by maybe 50%. It's clearly more comforting to the families, but unhelpful when it comes to framing public policy.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2012/jan/30/gary-speed-taking-life-inquest

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2428116/Call-new-coroners-law-reveal-true-toll-suicide-Campaigners-believe-number-rise-50-cent.html

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It's round and wobbles, but madam, it's a mouse pad, not a floppy disk

Symon
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Pint

Re: Not Snopes

@Dave. Percussive maintenance! Discussed recently on these forums!

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2016/12/16/on_call/#c_3056854

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Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

Symon
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Pint

Re: D@v3

Don't force it. Use a bigger hammer.

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Symon
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Boffin

Re: deja vu

These phantom faults reminds me of Del Boy's percussive maintenance methods. He had sold a vicar a PC, who subsequently complained that it wasn't working. "Has it received a whack of any kind ? " says Del. "No." says the priest. So Del whacks it and up it comes...

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