Re: Oh so familiar
Small business? Two words. Direct Debit.
2180 posts • joined 18 Aug 2009
Small business? Two words. Direct Debit.
No more puns.
p.s. but don't rule out malice!
A typical case, who we shall refer to as Mr A, although his real name is this:
32A MILTON AVENUE,
This year, for the first time, we had a pair of house martins nest under our car port. They've done an excellent job of keeping down the flying insects, haven't seen many wasps, and the horse flies are way down this year, especially since the first brood have fledged. I'll be building some extra nests for next year over the winter, for happy hours again!
"Whom at the hotel was monitoring all their guests twitter accounts?"
If the answer to that question is "Him was!" then you used the correct pronoun.
There is indeed such a lawyer defending macaque income.
Economics, the dismal science. As Niels Bohr might've said, "Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future." That's why economists only make accurate predictions about the past. Economics is a process of continual guesswork until, like a stopped clock, it's occasionally right.
My name is Ozymadamsmith, Keynes of Keynes; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
"Slowly boiling frog"
It's not true.
Professor Doug Melton, Harvard University Biology Department, says, “If you put a frog in boiling water, it won’t jump out. It will die. If you put it in cold water, it will jump before it gets hot — they don’t sit still for you.”
"When will I, will I be famous? I can't answer, I can't answer that."
I can. 1987-88.
p.s. Turns out Ken was the talented one!
^^ There's the reason I come to this website. Every day's a school day.
I had no fucking idea that iptables had an addon tarpit function. Thank you very much! Cheers --->
I used to rent out a house I owned in the nearby city to students. Nice little earner while it lasted. Anyway, I also kept a server in the (fortified) attic because the cable internet in town was much faster than in our rural office. There was a firewall running as well, to keep the students at bay. It would go down every now and then which would have meant a 90 minute round trip to fix, except I had one of these (or rather the current model at the time) :-
The server and firewall were both set in their BIOS to turn on when the power returns, and the remote power switch must've saved me a 100 hours of sitting in traffic. The switch itself never crashed, even when it got filled up with dust from some building work. I remember that its uptime looped back to zero at about every 30000 hours. I've still got it somewhere...
"Each full-time employee gets given at least £1,000 worth of shares every year. They can't cash them in immediately - they have to hold them for a period of between one and three years."
"HMRC rules allow employees to receive £3,600 worth of shares from their employer tax free every year. Most of these awards are below that threshold. The employee wins through a tax-free windfall, Amazon wins because it hasn't got to pay any cash out, which leaves HMRC as the big loser."
"the practice of giving staff shares is widespread, generally seen as a good way to promote loyalty and engagement - and is 100% legal."
The The. Yep!
"It was when Johnson and Christopherson flew to South America to film the videos for "Infected" and "Mercy Beat" that events started to spiral out of control. Filming in the Peruvian jungle in Iquitos, Johnson used the services of a local Indian tribe as guides. The Indians introduced Johnson, already an enthusiastic user of drugs, to the hallucinogenic concoctions used in their tribal rituals. The video for "Mercy Beat" captures a scene where during filming the crew were attacked by a rally of Communist rebel fighters, angry at the appearance of what they considered Western intruders. Johnson confirmed that the scene was genuine and unscripted, and admitted that at the time he was "so high", recalling the madness that had ensued: "Someone produced a snake which I was grappling with, and I hate snakes. A monkey bit me, and then me and this guy, who I'd only just met, cut each other and we became blood brothers, rubbing blood over each other's face, stuff like that." "
Oxford comma. Who knew what old Mr. Mandela's hobby was?
"By train, plane and sedan chair, Peter Ustinov retraces a journey made by Mark Twain a century ago. The highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector." -- The Times
"the oldest minerals in the Solar System" Hmmm.
Did they find it on Phoebe?
Knock yourself out!
"Welcome to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can
Frank: Nice beaver.
Jane: Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
"while demonstrating what NOT to do to his underlings"
Like the ladder safety guy?
"I intended to click on the X in the top corner... but for some reason my brain saw the word SEND instead of X."
Classic target fixation!
"Contrary to popular belief and what most mathematicians will tell you, all of the digits in the decimal expansion of π are known! They are: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. It is the order that they appear that is not known."
Reminded me of π = 16·arctan(1/5) − 4·arctan(1/239)
As proved In 1706 by John Machin, Professor of Astronomy in London. He used it to compute π to 100 digits.
You can use the Maclaurin series for arctan. The smaller the value of x, the faster the series converges.
arctan(x) = x − x³ /3 + x⁵/5 − x⁷/7 + x⁹/9 − x¹¹/11 + . . .
"feed the pancakes to a hen and a cow"
In the UK, you do that, you break the law!
"It remains illegal to feed catering waste, kitchen scraps, meat or meat products to farmed animals."
Was the solution to go to the nearest kitchen and say to the chef, if I give you these two fine egg-timers, can I borrow your wristwatch?
c.f. How to use a barometer to measure the height of a building.
1) 3 5
2) 0 2
3) 2 0
4) 3 4 Q.E.D.
"Only been made redundant once thankfully,"
Me too, but remember, the job is redundant, not you!
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, we had a few of those days out, mainly to keep the "Investor in people" sign up in reception. When we went on one 'teamwork' edition, I made sure that I was in the same group as my fellow engineer, let's call him 'Dave'. Anyway, we were set a series of tasks. Dave and I agreed to take turns distracting the group of H.R. people, accountants, sales guys and telephone sanitisers, while the other one of us solved the problem. E.g. while Dave chatted to the group, I rescued a teddy bear from inside a (supposedly electrified) 10 metre diameter circle by making a dog catcher out of a scaffold bar and some rope. Whole task took about two minutes, breaking the previous record by about 40 minutes.
Anyway, the whole day's missions were finished up in less than an hour. We didn't learn very much about working as a team on the course, but the rest of the day in the country house hotel bar made up for it. The H.R. lot never invited engineers to their away days after that.
We didn't get laid off though. That came c.10 years later when an American firm bought us out. I got a H1 visa and went to California to put one of them out of a job as revenge.
It's under the ice.
"The surface is mostly ice and dust for about 1.5 kilometers, but as the radar went deeper the scientists detected a layer that had a particularly bright reflection."
The author's clumsy use of 'surface' doesn't help. Maybe 'ground' or 'crust' is better.
I heard he's keeping it where the sun don't shine?
Bloody cynabacteria, coming over here with your phycobilisomes, raping our reducing atmosphere. What's wrong with getting your energy from hydrothermal vents? You get back down to the Earth, you photosynthetic prokaryote cunts.
With apologies to Stewart Lee.
The answer is a Butlerian Jihad?
Although it didn't entirely get rid of civilian deaths in the book, as far as I recall?
i.e. fail2ban ?
My bank closed it's branch in the nearby town. Boo! However, they now provide all the services I used in my village's Post Office. Hooray! 10 minute drive replaced with 5 minute walk. It's a total win, in my case!
p.s. OTOH, they had very comely tellers at the bank. The grizzled Post Office manager is ex-special forces, by my reckoning. Someone tried to rob them a while back. That won't be happening again.
Well, it started during the Great War. The British sank the German fleet in the South Atlantic in 1914, denying them access to Chile, so the Kaiser had to make his nitrates with the Haber process.
By the way, "approximately half of the protein in today's humans originated with nitrogen fixed through the Haber-Bosch process". So, it's not all bad.
The normal decay chain of plutonium 239 goes through uranium 235 via alpha decay. But, OK, you're right, in a bomb there are so many neutrons crashing into things, that there's a zoo! I should've said that some plutonium turns into U-235.
@Tomato42, yes, I get that it's there to try to explain to radiation exposure to people, but I would hope the commenters here understand what a sievert is. The fact of the matter is that eating a banana makes fuck all difference to your radiation exposure, because you piss out the potassium anyway. Now, your C-137 has a biological half life of c.110 days in a human*, so exposure to C-137 is more dangerous than potassium exposure, because it's an additional dosage.
Caesium is also more dangerous than potassium if you do this with it.
"French organisation, the largest winemakers in the world"
Apart from Italy, of course.
Indeed, but Caesium-137 is produced from the nuclear fission of plutonium as well as uranium. That's because the plutonium 239 turns into uranium 235. So, the first substantial release of Caesium 137 was the trinity test.
Nope. 5:29 a.m. on July 16, 1945
Actually, you can tell if something was stored in a sealed bottle before this:-
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."
We gave up sulfur, but we kept caesium and aluminium! At least, it is according to the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry.
From a technical standpoint, the BED doesn't make much sense. Your body keeps more or less the same amount of potassium in it though the gift of micturition. This will help --->
From c.2000 to c.2015 the Earth wasn't slowing down much at all. So, this is probably a sensible inclusion.
One reason for this is post glacial rebound. During the last ice age, the huge polar ice caps gradually squished the mantle down at the poles and out at the equator. This increased the planet's moment of inertia, slowing the spin and lengthening the days. Conservation of angular momentum and all that. Then the ice melted relatively rapidly, which again increases the moment of inertia, as water has moved from the poles to the equatorial regions, again slowing the spin of the Earth. However, now, as the ice has retreated, the mantle is slowly rebounding at the poles, reducing the bulging waistline, which contributes to shortening the days.
Read all about it:-
That is, according to the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry. We gave you sulfur, but we kept our caesium and aluminium.
Perhaps he's got Helsinki syndrome? Yippee-ki-yay...
Apropos of nothing, Anneka Rice meets a Harrier.
Stop the clock, STOP THE CLOCK.
As in come to Canada?
Aren't these people meant to use plain English? What's more, things that are downstream get to the sea first. It's a shite metaphor. Perhaps these wonks could try reading more Hemingway and less Dan Brown.
As for using plain English, they currently have more urgent projects, but that work is included in their plans.
I do hope that you're not suggesting that some of these stories are fabrications? Of the type where my friend's friend did such-and-such. I'm sure that no-one would consider embellishing or, perish the thought, actually making up these stories. I also know that everything I read in 'Dear Deidre' is totally not fake news.
Whatever, the additional stories in the comments section, whether fact or fiction, usually outperform the article, so long may this nonsense continue.
Maybe Col. Mustard Gas?
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