* Posts by Symon

2237 posts • joined 18 Aug 2009

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

Symon
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Re: Which is better?

"proper bacon doesn't require cooking"

Does curing the meat kill the Trichinella cysts?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis

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You're legit and you know you are... Thanks to chanting racist footie fans, linking to dodgy stuff isn't necessarily illegal (well, in Europe)

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Huawei CFO poutine cuffs by Canadian cops after allegedly busting sanctions on Iran

Symon
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Happy

Re: Messy business

But Vancouver is a long way from Quebec, in more ways than one.

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Brits' DNA data sent to military base after 'foreign' hack attacks – report

Symon
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Big Brother

Re: Strange

"the data is anonymized"

But, it's DNA. And, partly thanks to the Mormons* and other credulous numpties, there's open source genealogy and DNA all over the internets. So, it's not beyond the wit of man to see it's possible to link the DNA in this database to gullible family members. Ask the Golden State Killer.

https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/gyma7m/dont-sequence-your-dna-golden-state-killer

*LDS members like to baptise dead relatives. So, they love ancestry.com and ancestryDNA. The fact that these companies are based in Utah is blind coincidence.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/dec/21/mormons-holocaust-victims-baptism-lds-church

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancestry.com

p.s. I'm not making this up.

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Tesla autopilot saves driver after he fell asleep at wheel on the freeway

Symon
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Coat

Re: Plan A

"I'm amazed the Highway Patrol haven't pulled over a couple in the back seat of an auto-drive Tesla yet."

So that when they meet the lane divider they'll be going out with a bang?

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Mystery sign-poster pities the fool who would litter the UK's West Midlands

Symon
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Facepalm

Re: I seem to remember

Yep. I went to the (old) MCG once and saw the Richmond Tigers. They were sponsored by the Australian anti-drink&drive campaign. The players shirts had 'Drink Drive Bloody Idiot' on the back. Sadly, I think the sponsorship ended when a bloody idiot player got pissed up on booze and crashed his vehicle. A bit like Alastair Burnett and his 'Police, camera, action' road safety TV shows. He was subsequently banned from driving for 23 months and fined £3000 after being arrested, charged and convicted of drink driving because he crashed into a hedge and telegraph pole while 3 times over the drink drive limit.

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CubeSat buddies, like those sent to track Mars InSight landing, can be used in future missions

Symon
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Headmaster

Indeed, shouldn't it be 'softball sized'? The planet Mars is softball shaped.

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Australia to build a pirate-proof fence: Brace yourselves, Google

Symon
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Pirate

You need myxomatosis. Viruses work better than fences, which is why all that pirated content is full of them.

p.s.

https://youtu.be/2Hc8tm57vQs

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Boeing 737 pilots battled confused safety system that plunged aircraft to their deaths – black box

Symon
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Re: Hey software, get the fuck out of the way!

Re Denarius :- "I will have to think about seaborne travel more positively."

https://www.dw.com/en/why-are-ferry-accidents-common-in-indonesia/a-44403800

I think you'll find that you're better off avoiding travelling in Indonesia. Altogether.

p.s. https://youtu.be/0wxp-NxJny8?t=81

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NASA's Mars probe InSight really has Mars in sight: It beams back first pic after touchdown

Symon
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Mushroom

Re: "Jim Bridenstine said the device could detect how often Mars gets bombarded by asteroids."

Where is this planet Mar?

" you don't see many shooting stars."

Au contraire.

"Scientists think four times as many comets dust Mars with their tails compared to our home planet, as a high proportion of comets hang out near Jupiter, the red planet's next-closest neighbor. So there could be many more meteor showers visible from Mars than from Earth."

https://www.space.com/5199-shooting-star-shower-spotted-mars.html

https://www.space.com/1155-shooting-star-mars.html

It's true that there aren't as many people there to see them though...

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Symon
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Go

MarCo

These things worked as well. Little flyby CubeSats that relayed back the landing telemetry. Neat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Cube_One

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NASA has Mars InSight as latest lander due to arrive today

Symon
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Alert

Re: Dusty

https://youtu.be/aBrMCUEemrE

These guys have an electrostatic cleaning system.

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Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert

Symon
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Headmaster

Exam question.

1. Read everything before doing anything.

2. Put your name on the upper right hand corner of this paper.

3. Circle the word "name" in sentence two.

4. Draw five small squares in the upper left-hand corner of this paper.

5. Put an "x" In each square.

6. Put a circle around each square.

7. Sign your name under the title.

8. After the title write "yes, yes, yes".

9. Put a circle around each word In sentence no. 7.

10. Put an "x" in the lower left hand corner of this paper.

11. Draw a triangle around the "x" you just put down.

12. On the reverse side of this paper multiply 703 by 9805.

13. Draw a rectangle around the word "paper" in sentence number 4.

14. Call out your first name when you get to this point in your paper.

15. If you think you have followed directions up to this point In the test, call out "I have".

16. On the reverse side of the paper add 8950 and 9850.

17. Put a circle around your answer.

18. Count out loud In normal speaking voice backwards from ten to one.

19. Now that you have finished reading, do only steps one and two.

http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?t=24333

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Pasta-covered cat leads to kid night operator taking apart the mainframe

Symon
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Re: Burroughs/Unisys...

Screwdriver? You need a bobby pin.

https://youtu.be/OeLnS8O08ng?t=24

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Using a free VPN? Why not skip the middleman and just send your data to President Xi?

Symon
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Big Brother

"China's President"

Since the fifth plenary session of the National People's Congress, that'll be Emperor Xi to you, sonny Jim.

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Wombats literally sh!t bricks – and now boffins reckon they know how

Symon
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Re: Actually very interesting to some people...

"we all need a hobby"

If the scatman can do it, so can you. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope...

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Bright spark dev irons out light interference

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Triggers broom = Ship of Theseus

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Symon
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Facepalm

Re: It's called a choke.

Mate from the pub lived about 4km from the local exchange that he got his ADSL from. He had all sorts of problems with it. One day, after a thunderstorm, his modem was dead. I gave him a clip on ferrite and told him to loop the incoming wire to his new modem through it. Common mode impedance = turns squared and all that. All was well for a few years, until his data rate started getting worse. They sent out an 'engineer' who told him to remove the ferrite, because it could affect the signal. As if. Anyway, two weeks later, another thunderstorm, another dead modem. And then they finally fixed the corroded connection up a pole...

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61pzG0wFnUL._SY355_.jpg

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Brits shun country life over phone not-spot fears

Symon
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Megaphone

Microwave links.

Out here in the sticks, my office is about 600m from my house. We have fibre to both, but we also kept the old ADSL for backup. We run servers at both sites. Then I bought two of these, £160 the pair exc. VAT :-

https://www.4gon.co.uk/ubiquiti-powerbeam-m5-400-pbem5400-p-6260.html?osCsid=f9a285b5230fd9e9221e64c812ca316e

Redundancy is now via the microwave link, stay under 1W and you don't need a licence. One of them is bolted to a fence at the office, the other screwed on up a beech tree at the bottom of my garden. You need line of sight. It's meant to work over 25km, so the 600m link is rock solid. Even when the UPS man parks in front of the dish. Reminds me, must get the ladder out...

We covered the cost in 3 months, we were paying for business broadband on the ADSL with static IPs etc.

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Oz lad 'fell in love with' baby meerkat, nicked it from zoo, took it out for a romantic Big Mac

Symon
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Pint

Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

"Or did I miss yet another meaningless Internet meme?"

Nope, you're suffering from a mild dose of etymological fallacy disease, whereby you hold that a word can only have its historic meaning, rather than a different present day definition. For example, I imagine that you think "since" and "while" can only be used as temporal connectives, not as logical ones (meaning, roughly, 'because' and 'although'), as (since?) that was their original meaning.

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001256.html

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Symon
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Devil

He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/meerkats-eat-squirrel-bristol-zoo-2190676

Turns out that they are nasty little bastards.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/meerkats-revealed-as-the-most-murderous-mammal-known-to-science-a7335741.html

p.s. OK, Tufty was a red squirrel. BTW, it's illegal to release a grey squirrel back into the wild, so, even if the thing had been saved at the zoo, they'd have had to kill it anyway.

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Up to three million kids' GPS watches can be tracked by parents... and any miscreant: Flaws spill pick-and-choose catalog for perverts

Symon
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Coat

Re: Why does the server need any details about the child?

"Offspring 1"

Perhaps 'Kid A' is a suitable moniker to keep everything in its right place, unless the child knows how to disappear completely.

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Douglas Adams was right, ish... Super-Earth world clocked orbiting 'nearby' Barnard's Star

Symon
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Go

Re: Getting a proble there?

"The fastest man-made moving object is currently Voyager, "

No it isn't. Parker solar probe is faster. 60km/s vs. 17km/s for Voyager.

http://parkersolarprobe.jhuapl.edu/The-Mission/index.php#Where-Is-PSP

https://www.space.com/42283-parker-solar-probe-closest-to-sun-record.html

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FYI NASA just lobbed its Parker probe around the Sun in closest flyby yet: A nerve-racking 15M miles from the surface

Symon
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Alien

Re: Brilliant stuff!

That'll never happen. Wait...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maunder_Minimum

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Symon
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Thumb Up

Re: 5-4-3-2-1

We might as well mention the 'real' Parker I suppose.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugene_Parker

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Symon
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Mushroom

Re: Talk about the gates of Hell !

Is it spiraling inwards? No, it's ellipsing inwards with the help of Venus!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Animation_of_Parker_Solar_Probe_trajectory.webm

FWIW, it's not just a case of "setting the controls for the heart of the Sun". You need a lot of delta-v.

https://space.stackexchange.com/questions/13396/do-any-current-icbms-have-the-delta-v-to-target-the-sun

p.s. Careful with that axe, Eugene Parker. IGMC.

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Can your rival fix it as fast? turns out to be ten-million-dollar question for plucky support guy

Symon
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Alert

Interrupt service routines.

Where million-to-one shots happen every day! (or night, more likely)

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Astroboffins spot one of the oldest, coolest stars in the universe lurking in the Milky Way

Symon
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Alien

Re: Hydrogen is a *good* coolant

"Unlike metal-enriched gas that efficiently cools via dust and metal-line emission, metal-free gas can only cool significantly via atomic (H), molecular (H2), and deuterated (HD) hydrogen emission. Hydrogen can only cool gas down to temperatures T < 10^4K, and H2 is a poor coolant at T < 200 K. While HD can cool gas below T ≈ 200 K, the small cosmological ratio of deuterium to hydrogen limits its contribution to cooling. "

In space, a gas cloud cools by radiation. There's almost no gravity, so there's no convection, and there's no conduction as there's nothing to conduct to. Hydrogen might be a good coolant in some circumstances, but not in this one.

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Symon
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Stop

Re: up to 1,000 kelvin (726.85 degrees Celsius).

My beef is with the phrase "up to". If only the Advertising Standards Authority would ban these two words in any commercial, we'd be up to a million times better off.

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Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

Symon
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Coat

More Babybell?

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Google logins make JavaScript mandatory, Huawei China spy shock, Mac malware, Iran gets new Stuxnet, and more

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Re: Quis custodiet

People called Romanes they go the house?

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Symon
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Coat

Re: "uranium subterfuges", O Joy

Not 'ducks and runs'. Dead or alive.

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Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

Symon
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Coat

Re: James Clerk Maxwell

His coffee was crap though!

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Symon
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Boffin

Maxwell

https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2018/11/02/nikola_tesla_stupidity/#c_3646366

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Clunk, bang, rattle: Is that a ghost inside your machine?

Symon
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Alert

Given the toxicity of the toner powder, Mike called an ambulance forthwith.

Toxic? No, not really. But it seems inhaling the dust isn't a good plan. The victim would be better off having a shower, I reckon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toner#Health_risks

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Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity

Symon
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Boffin

Re: Noted scientists

Go here to vote on the new £50 note.

https://app.keysurvey.co.uk/f/1348443/10fc/

Obviously, it should be James Clerk Maxwell. Third greatest physicist of all time, and, as mentioned in the article, people with an enormous bushy beard are used to stymie prospective forgers.

More here:-

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46063097

JCM made a much bigger contribution to science than anyone mentioned by the BBC, but he wasn't gay, disabled or a woman, so it seems he has little chance. The irony is, that without Maxwell, there would be no broadcasting anyway. It'd be the BC.

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This revolution will not be televised – but it will be sanctioned: Googlers walk out over 'sex pest' executive scandals

Symon
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Pint

Re: Not quite cricket

Well, a googly is also known as a wrong'un, so I'm OK with that. Better than being a chucker, that's for sure...

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GitHub lost a network link for 43 seconds, went TITSUP for a day

Symon
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Mushroom

Re: We use Orchestrator

Enormous crater?

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Watch closely as NASA deploys the world's biggest parachute at supersonic speeds

Symon
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Headmaster

"as big as a size of a house"

Quite a bigly sized parachute then! Can the size of something have a size? How many sizes can a house have? What's the size of one hand clapping? IGMC

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From today, it's OK in the US to thwart DRM to repair your stuff – if you keep the tools a secret

Symon
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Paris Hilton

Water under the bridge?

So, The Register has made its peace with Doctorow now?

https://boingboing.net/2006/01/11/correcting-the-recor.html

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Californian chap sets his folks' home on fire by successfully taking out spiders with blowtorch

Symon
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Alert

Antivenin

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redback_spider#Antivenom

Not much, if any, better than placebo.

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Symon
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Stop

Re: blow torch... pfft

"Aussie snakes is where we are world beaters. Last I checked we have seven of the top twenty most dangerous snakes." No. No you don't.

https://theconversation.com/are-australian-snakes-the-deadliest-in-the-world-not-even-close-50963

Actually, it's not true that things in Australia have especially evolved to kill humans, whether it seems so or not. For example, almost all snake deaths are caused in countries where there are lots of people, and where snakes have thus evolved to live among humans. Unfortunately, folks seem to rate snakes on how well they kill rodents, of which there are plenty in Australia, and which the local fauna has evolved to bite.

"Although mouse tests (commonly called LD50 studies) are important so researchers can have standardized baselines for venom studies, they really have very little to do with what happens when a snake bites a human. LD50 is the smallest amount of venom (stated in milligrams venom per kilogram mouse weight) that when injected into a standardized group of mice will kill half the subjects. Many standard lists of the most venomous snakes are based on a study published in 1979 by A. J. Broad and colleagues working out of Australia, which partially explains the strong Australian bias of the list. The well-known venomous snakes of the Americas, Africa and Asia are mostly absent from the list and simply were not included in the study."

http://www.reptilesmagazine.com/Snakes/Wild-Snakes/The-Worlds-Deadliest-Snakes/

All that said, St. Patrick had the right idea.

p.s. " [Australians'] death rate due to snake bite is about the same as the United Kingdom and Holland

http://w3.unisa.edu.au/unisanews/2015/December/story4.asp

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Techie was bigged up by boss… only to cause mass Microsoft Exchange outage

Symon
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Coat

JSON Bourne.

{

"firstName": "David",

"lastName": "Webb",

"isAlive": true,

"age": 48,

"address": {

"streetAddress": "415 East 71st Street",

"city": "Nixa",

"state": "Missouri ",

"postalCode": "65714"

},

"Preferred shell": [

{

"type": "linux",

"name": "Bourne"

},

{

"type": "when out and about",

"name": "bash"

}

],

"children": "2",

"spouse": "Dao"

}

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Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

Symon
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Pint

Re: *if*

Try this?

https://www.freebsd.org/

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Should a robo-car run over a kid or a grandad? Healthy or ill person? Let's get millions of folks to decide for AI...

Symon
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Coat

Re: Important 'cause...

@Gordan. "I call Goodwin's law."

Are you worried that the kid will grow up to be a banker?

(Or did you mean Godwin...)

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Raspberry Pi supremo Eben Upton talks to The Reg about Pi PoE woes

Symon
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Coat

Re: Very brief but large current spikes flowing in the pi

Yes, it's raisin the temperature.

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Chinese biz baron wants to shove his artificial moon where the sun doesn't shine – literally

Symon
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Headmaster

Re: The silver lining

What's a terrawatt?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watt#Terawatt

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