* Posts by a cynic writes...

230 posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

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The internet – not as great as we all thought it was going to be, eh?

a cynic writes...

The only problem with the internet is...

...it's like Soylent Green. Made of people.

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Scrap London cops' 'racially biased' gang database – campaigners

a cynic writes...

...while the percentage of black people actually identified as being responsible for serious youth violence in the capital is 27 per cent.

er...that doesn't look right - it reads as though 27% of black people are involved in youth violence. That seems unbelievably high.

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Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

a cynic writes...

One from the vaults...

Our tariff

Money can buy us

By Team Register 27 Oct 1998 at 16:22

This is The Register tariff We are the corruptibles…

For £15,000 we will remove any story from our site For £15,000 we will write any story you like on our site For £500 we will attend a press conference as long as it is in London and we don't have to write about it For another £500 we will write about it as well If the press conference is out of Central London, the charges will be double the above

Integrity -- we've heard of it

That was of course before Lester put it on a more business like basis: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/01/22/register_tariff/

I may have been reading this site for too long...

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El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

a cynic writes...

First time I've heard the Knights Templar described as a "...shared collaboration space."

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Are you able to read this headline? Then you're not Julian Assange. His broadband is unplugged

a cynic writes...

Re: It would take a heart of stone not to laugh...

Because the UK can't be seen to let him go any more than Ecuador can be seen to kick him out the door to the waiting coppers.

I suspect in the next year or two there will be a deliberately botched attempt to smuggle him out, he'll do his six weeks for jumping bail and will then be allowed to leave unhindered as an irrelevance.

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a cynic writes...

It would take a heart of stone not to laugh...

I feel a bit sorry for the Ecuadorians to be honest. Only a bit mind.

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YouTube banned many gun vids, so some moved to smut site

a cynic writes...

Re: Simple solution

How about the gun nuts just pony up some cash and launch their own web site, on their own servers?

er...I think that would be Full30 mentioned in the linked FB post. It was news to me too.

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a cynic writes...

Re: Wahhhh Freedom of speech,, not letting us do what we want....

Which is why InRange demonetised all of their videos on YouTube sometime ago and as the linked Facebook post says publish "...simultaneously on YouTube, Full30, Facebook, BitChute and now PornHub."

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South China waters are red, Brit warships are blue, HMS Sutherland's sailing there

a cynic writes...

You mean like the Russians do?

I believe the usual form is for one of ours to shadow their's at a safe distance whilst politicians and journalists spout nonsense. I expect China will do the same. The upshot being everyone gets to make their point and the world continues to turn.

That said building your own islands to claim is...a novel approach. It makes the whole Graham Island thing look almost normal. PTerry would be proud.

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IBM: About those agreed voluntary redundancies ... we were just kidding

a cynic writes...

Re: How many will now leave anyway.... and miss out on redundancy?

Most of the ones who'd lined up other jobs I'd have thought.

I'm not sure whether that indicates malice or incompetence on the part of IBM management.

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

a cynic writes...

To be served with chips & curry sauce obv.

Based on my limited number of trips north - fill with chips, pour on curry sauce. Sorted.

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One more credit insurer abandons Maplin Electronics

a cynic writes...

Ok - no preorders it is then...

...and the January sale could be interesting.

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Julian Assange wins at hide-and-seek game against Sweden

a cynic writes...

Re: I just love these people whose minds were already made up 5 years ago

ahem....I linked above to the court records. I hadn't made up my mind until I read them. To give you a flavour:

The Court rejected Mr Assange’s contention that under the law of England and Wales consent to sexual intercourse on condition a condom was used was remained consent to sexual intercourse even if a condom was not used or removed. (paras 86-91)

But hey, don't take my word for it. Read the documents then make up your own mind.

I might be biased as I've a daughter in her 20s. Personally I'd convict the bastard.

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a cynic writes...

The case for the defence

In the unlikely event that there's anyone who hasn't made up their mind, the case papers from the extradition hearing are here.

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UK Tory party pledges 'digital' charter, wants Verify to back online gov

a cynic writes...

Re: Uncle Rupert gets his Reward

It's the next sentence. "We will repeal s.40 of the Crime and Courts Act...etc" p.80

So yeah they've gone out of their way to keep the press onside.

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a cynic writes...

Re: Uncle Rupert gets his Reward

Not just Rupe...that nice Mr Hislop will be rather chuffed at not having to pay the other sides costs on the rare occasions that Private Eye wins. In fact most of the press will like that one, even the non-Tory bits.

Not that that would have been a calculation...

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74 countries hit by NSA-powered WannaCrypt ransomware backdoor: Emergency fixes emitted by Microsoft for WinXP+

a cynic writes...

Can I just check...

...I'm not the only one who has been logging into work to check, despite knowing I'm up to date with patches, just to make sure.

My youngest hasn't of course. The little git is a PFY in a linux shop. He's just wandered round looking smug.

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Can you ethically suggest a woman pursue a career in tech?

a cynic writes...

Re: Meanwhile in the UK...

er...yes, exactly.

Sorry, I obviously wasn't clear. What I meant was "If things were different and she was interested in tech then would I..."

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a cynic writes...

Meanwhile in the UK...

"We need to promote women disproportionately..." Only legal under the Equality Act 2010 if they are equally qualified as the alternative male candidate.

"...pay them equally or better..." Illegal to pay them differently

"...offer them the flexibility that comes with shouldering the lion’s share of the childcare and housework." Anyone can ask for that not just women and it can only be refused if there is a clear business reason

I've got three kids, all adults, all working. Our eldest (male) is an IT teacher, our youngest (male) is an apprentice Admin (working for 'Jared' from the other week's On-Call) and our equally capable daughter works in sales. Whilst she uses technology she doesn't find it interesting in itself. Not unusual - our eldest says in his GCSE computing classes they only have two girls.

Were things different would I recommend a career in tech for her too? In the UK - yes definitely. In the US - probably not.

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I want it hot and wet – preferably with Wi-Fi

a cynic writes...

Re: Where was this, pray tell?

It wasn't in West Lane next to the war memorial?

I used to live near there mumble years ago...

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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

a cynic writes...

20Mb! Luxury!

The first machine I ever owned had a 16k ram pack...

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Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

a cynic writes...

According to an old family story there was a coal man that had that arrangement in East Ham.

It worked well until one Christmas the lads down the pub decided it was unfair on the horse and clubbed together to it a bucket or two of beer. The following day the bloke found himself in the dock on a charge of "drunk in charge of a drunken horse".

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Brit Science Minister to probe Brexit bias against UK-based scientists

a cynic writes...

Can I just check I have this right..

There's EU funding mechanisms for research open to non-EU members (eg Switzerland, Israel). There's anecdotal evidence that despite the fact that we're still members funding is getting knocked back because:

(1) people don't know our long term membership position of the funding arrangements. (which is fair enough)

(2) the people involved in the evaluation stage playing politics. Which we know they do since according to the Guardian article they started downgrading Swiss research after a referendum to restrict immigration.

So (1) should be fixable by joining Horizon 2020 et.al as non-EU members. Fixing (2) depends on how long grown adults will sulk. Based on my experience, sometime around the turn of the century then.

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PM resigns as Britain votes to leave EU

a cynic writes...

Re: We all know what happened

Three months ago I said:

There are positive arguments for staying as part of the EU but I've yet to hear anyone make them. "No Tracy, don't leave. Stay and make a go of it or he'll cut up rough." isn't the winning argument you all seem to think it is. In fact from what I've seen it's flat out counter-productive.

After watching the campaign and the aftermath I think I can add: If you want to convince people of your ideas don't talk about them as though they are the shit on your shoe.

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EU referendum frenzy bazookas online voter registration. It's another #GovtDigiShambles

a cynic writes...

I'd imagine it was two groups....

(1) The lot who weren't registered, decided to register and finally woke up to the deadline. Expect to see them arrive at polling stations at 9.59pm and then throw a strop when they can't get in.

(2) The lot who registered months ago and had a wee panic since they haven't had their polling card yet.

I think group 2 will be larger.

In other arse-elbow news last week it came out that people not entitled to vote had been issued polling cards.

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Subjects! Speek your branes to Parliament on the Snoopers' Charter

a cynic writes...

OK I admit it - I was wrong...

...when back in May last year I said

The Conservative majority is small enough that forcing this bollocks through will be difficult.

In my defence I had sort of expected there to be an opposition for Tory rebels to join.

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Tech biz bosses tell El Reg a Brexit will lead to a UK Techxit

a cynic writes...

"...North Korea of Europe..."

Like Switzerland that well known third world country?

This is getting silly.

From the top - if we vote out we've 2 years to negotiate all this stuff. I expect some of it to pass on the nod (because it's in no ones interest to fuck it up completely) and some of it will turn into a right pigs ear (because the people involved have previous). Neither the rose tinted wish fulfillment of the 'leavers' not the dire predictions of the 'remainers' will come to pass.

Yes there may be some countries that want to cut up rough - I expect that the self defeating nature of doing so will be pointed out to them by wiser heads. In the event of a close vote (and given the EU's behaviour to previous referendums) I would not be surprised for there to be an attempt to move the goal posts. I realise that would be against its own rules but that has never been an obstacle in the past and doubt it would be in this case.

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How a Brexit could stop UK biz and Europe swapping personal data

a cynic writes...

For the love of god you lot, never dispense relationship advice...

Seriously guys. There are positive arguments for staying as part of the EU but I've yet to hear anyone make them. "No Tracy, don't leave. Stay and make a go of it or he'll cut up rough." isn't the winning argument you all seem to think it is. In fact from what I've seen it's flat out counter-productive.

If you must bring it down to costs and benefits at least go with the believable "we have to negotiate this shit anyway and it's a fuck site easier inside than outside".

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Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

a cynic writes...

Re: We make our own prisons

As I understand it he's a fugitive for having sex with a consenting adult who later changed her mind. Which counts as rape in Sweden.

er...no. He's a fugitive for going to bed with someone who said she'd only have sex with him if he wore a condom, waiting until she was asleep and then carrying on without one. Sounds a bit rapey...

In one of his many appeals he didn't argue it didn't happen just that it didn't count. The High Court didn't agree:

http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20131202164909/http://judiciary.gov.uk/media/judgments/2011/assange-judgment-0211201

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Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

a cynic writes...

Bloody hell...The gin and the orange juice were a new one on me. The version I used to drink 20-odd years ago was just a snake bite and Blue Curacao.

One abiding memory is when I introduced a mate to them. A few hours later he was praying at the porcelain alter and I heard the plaintive wail "...you fucking bastard - IT'S GREEN" .

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There's an epidemic of idiots who can't find power switches

a cynic writes...

Back in the days of medes & persians...

...a mate of mine was first line support for a modem company.

The first thing he would ask was "can you unplug it and then plug it back in ?" Funny how many times the user worked what the issue was...

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Sysadmin's £100,000 revenge after sudden sacking

a cynic writes...

Re: James is a dick...

Given the company in question has shops in most large UK towns and had a turnover of £123M (~$185M) last year I think 'continuing to eat' wasn't an issue.

Unless there's another well known Nottingham based games company...

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TalkTalk to swallow £35m ‘financial impact’ after attack

a cynic writes...

I feel a rebranding may be on the cards...

I suspect they'll retain most of their customer base through inertia and sometime in the spring will rebrand avoiding the "new customer" issue.

Personally I'm one of those rural ADSL customers who Virgin sold transferred to TalkTalk. If weren't planning on moving they'd be out on their ear - as it is they won't get the business at the new house.

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Hi, um, hello, US tech giants. Mind, um, mind adding backdoors to that crypto? – UK govt

a cynic writes...

I can't help wondering...

...if somewhere in Cheltenham there's one of our number trying to work out how the hell to tell the Boss "It was a joke".

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Doctor Who's The Girl Who Died ships in nasty Vikings floating atop a time-bending tidal wave

a cynic writes...

Re: Was I the only one...

No, you weren't. It confused the hell out of SWMBO.

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Doctor Who's Under the Lake splits Reg scribes: This Alien homage thing – good or bad?

a cynic writes...

Re: Science happens to other people

...in a Faraday Cage ?

I thought that for a second then I realised that a Faraday cage wouldn't block sound. Sonic Sunglasses - the hint's in the name.

The science is still bollocks of course but then it always has been. Unless you know a way to "reverse the polarity in the neutron flow"?

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Robots, schmobots. The Rise of the Machines won't leave humanity on the dole

a cynic writes...

Re: However...

On the plus side over the centuries as we've becoming better at wholesale slaughter we've become less interested in it. Which is nice...

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West's only rare earth mine closes. Yet Chinese monopoly fears are baseless

a cynic writes...

Re: Bad luck Estonia

"...Suffolk, Norfolk and Kent..."

I can't help feeling there's something missing from that list...

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Why do driverless car makers have this insatiable need for speed?

a cynic writes...

Re: Driverless cars do not need to be owned

Perhaps because you want to use a car for the same two hours as everyone else...

In other news automatic gearboxes have been available for decades and most people in Britain drive manuals. I doubt that most people will want to give up the illusion of control and "driverless" mode will end up like cruise control - widely available but rarely engaged.

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Hurrah! Uber does work (in the broadest sense of the word) after all

a cynic writes...

In London it's a bit different with two types of taxi - black cabs that are heavily regulated* and minicabs (aka private hire vehicles) which are lightly regulated. Uber ignores both.

Don't under any circumstances ask a black cab driver (like my brother in law) about Uber. He will tell you...

Anyway there are two logical answers - either enforce the existing regulations or relax them. What's the betting neither happens until the first horror story hits the front page?

*Heavily regulated as in you need to pass an exam as to routes (takes 1-2 years), use one of the 3 vehicles which conform to spec (about £40k) and your fare rates are set by government. By contrast minicabs just need to be roadworthy, be pre-booked and with a pre-agreed fare.

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Pan Am Games: Link to our website without permission and we'll sue

a cynic writes...

Re: Canuck Post Pub Nosh

Will this do?

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Rampaging fox terrorises rural sports club, victim sustains ‘tweaked groin’

a cynic writes...

We've had 'em in the back garden...

...which explained why the dog went spare at 2am. Thankfully our chickens are in covered runs or like most people round here we'd have lost them.

As to "a whiff of pish" given it was a Saturday night I think a whiff of the ale might be nearer the mark.

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Why is that idiot Osbo continuing with austerity when we know it doesn't work?

a cynic writes...

It helps to actually read the article before commenting...

Unless I've just read a different article to the rest of you the title just summarises the position that the rest of it undermines. My reading:

1) Some economists put the argument in the title, saying that there is no alternative to spending vast wodges of cash...

2) But they forget monetary policy. QE has given us the room to cut.

3) Which we did in the 1920s when it worked like a charm. That time in wasn't QE but leaving the Gold Standard but the effect was much the same.

4) Meaning that whilst you can still advocate spending more, original argument that there is no alternative is a load of dingo's kidneys.

Hardly the lefty diatribe that some of you seem to think.

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Scot Nationalists' march on Westminster may be GOOD for UK IT

a cynic writes...

If memory serves,,,

...about 35%.

At least that's my recollection of the percentage of support for Scottish Independence in England in the run up to the referendum.

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Theresa May: Right, THIS time we're getting the Snoopers' Charter in

a cynic writes...

On the bright side...

The Conservative majority is small enough that forcing this bollocks through will be difficult.

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Facebook echo chamber: Or, the British media and the election

a cynic writes...

How about...

...everyone just accept it's possible for other people to disagree with you without them being stupid or evil or both.

I realise that could be difficult...if you think your decision making is perfect because you're (a) so clever (b) so worthy or (c) like Ms Toynbee the epitome of Lady Bountiful. Tough. We've enough arrogant bastards in the world we don't need any more.

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Bridge, ship 'n' tunnel – the Brunels' hidden Thames trip

a cynic writes...

One for the summer holidays...

...not only is it the sort of trip out my youngest likes it also means I can visit my old local. I used to drink in the Mayflower before I met his mum mumble years ago.

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Why OH WHY is economics so bleedin' awful, then?

a cynic writes...

Like seismology...

...you know where the catastrophe is going to hit, but no one can predict when. I remember predictions of disaster years in advanced but the crisis was well under way before it became general knowledge. At least a year before Lehmans went down I was reading the blog of a (now sadly deceased) SAP consultant describing what was going wrong and the likely implications.

It doesn't help that the political class is shit scared of being honest and precipitating things. Do remember the shit Alistair Darling got when he said how bad it was going to get?

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Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse chap in 'desperate' cash shortage

a cynic writes...

I can recommend Neil's bacon & lentil recipe - although as we had them in the cupboard I replaced the red lentils with green and the tinned toms with cheap passata.

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Give me POWER: How to keep working when the lights go out

a cynic writes...

And when the lights come back on...

...you realise that your dedicated line to the DC runs down the same tunnel.

Interesting times...

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