* Posts by Lord Elpuss

677 posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

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Attention adults working in the real world: Do not upgrade to iOS 11 if you use Outlook, Exchange

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Works fine here

”I'm looking for the double entendre but you must have slipped it in while I wasn't looking.“

Well if I’d known you were looking for a double entendre I’d have given you one.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Works fine here

”Judging by the stats on this article, millions disagree that all is ok.”

Stats will say what you want them to say. In this case, I’m betting that all they will show is that a sensationalist headline draws in the punters. If you post an article with the headline “Mars Rover discovers Princess Diana naked in a crater” it will certainly get clicks - but the stats don’t validate the headline, and when people discover it was tosh they’ll be less inclined to come back next time.

This is how great websites die.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Full of nonsense as ever

Well, Chris, going by the vast majority of comments on this thread the article was widely regarded as a combination of old news, sensationalist muckraking and outright fallacy. As many above have indirectly pointed out - when in a hole, prudence suggests you should stop digging.

And I’m speaking honestly as a longtime Reg loyalist who has relied on you to understand what’s really going on in IT for going on seven years now.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Dafties

Your definition of serious business != other people’s definition.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Works fine here

”If it weren't for the Silver Badge, I'd ask if you were new around here...”

No, not new :) just a little weary of the same old gags. Call this one a personal crusade if you will; I don’t like the carefully considered purchasing decisions I (and many others) make being called idiotic - as though we were just following the shiny. My company has saved over $100m in maintenance and support costs over the last five years since switching to Apple - 95% of our support is now self-service, and the device lifecycle is now 5 instead of 3 years. So people saying the purchasing price is an idiot tax can fuck right off back to Windowsville, because it saves us a fortune.

Fnarr harrumph victor meldrew damn kids grumble rant.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Works fine here

Fractal Cretinisation - sounds like a candidate for an Ig Nobel :))

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Works fine here

"Apple's main market is people who find computers too complicated and want it made simple. For this you pay extra. When I have an idiot customer I encourage them to buy Apple. They ask if it's the best and I say no, it's not and it's overpriced for what it does but it's perfect for you because you stressed how ease of use was the most important thing."

So your view is that customers who say ease of use is the most important thing are idiots? You don't fucking deserve customers.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Works fine here

Loses them credibility though. I used to come here because the articles were a fun take on serious topics - and with enough intelligence behind them to challenge our thinking. These days I still come here for the fun, but the intelligence is frequently lacking.

Case in point. This 'bug' in iOS11 could well be on the Microsoft side; in fact given that it's not affecting all iOS devices this is a significant probability.

Also; "you can't fully turn off Bluetooth and Wi-Fi because they're needed for file and smart watch synchronization." just simply isn't true. The radios can be fully turned off by using Airplane mode, or by going into settings and turning them off there.

What pisses me off most about this is that in my view Apple fucked up. It's a damn stupid decision to not have the control center buttons turn the radios off fully - and by reporting this honestly, people might take it seriously and put pressure on Apple to fix it. But because journos are turning it into panicky FUD in a race for headlines ("RADIOS CAN'T EVER BE TURNED OFF OMG THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!") the issue is becoming clouded.

And once again. 'Cupertino idiot-tax corporation' is just fucking stupid and insulting - not to Apple, but to Apple customers. Like somebody calling El Reg a 'Brainless cretin-attracting News Outlet'.

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Lord Elpuss
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"Cupertino idiot-tax operation"

Said it before, will say it again. Grow the fuck up.

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Samsung's Galaxy Note 8 is hot, but not much more than the S8+

Lord Elpuss
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Re: The single failure with all "Flagship" these phones..

HD is utterly pointless on a phone. In any circumstances.

When you're using it as a phone, I agree anything more than 300-odd ppi is pretty pointless. The added extra res does come into its own when using VR though.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: "ever became noticeably warmer"

Maybe it gets warm because of the 10x optical zoom.

"Samsung made much of the device's camera, now imbued with 10x optical zoom"

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VMworld schwag heist CCTV didn't work and casino wouldn't share it

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Obvious

"failed to protect his health and safety"

Is that what they're calling government-sanctioned lead poisoning these days.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Libertarian Cyberpunk RPG come to life

@DNTP

Love this!! Have you written a book?

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Other Explanations

And what are the police if not a third party?

Third party != irrelevant.

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Apple bumps up price on iPad Pro as flash costs climb

Lord Elpuss
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@I ain't Spartacus

There are a number of handwriting recognition apps on the App Store, a quick google will give you the reviews. 7notes is apparently fairly decent.

But I do have to wonder why you'd want it given that you have a perfectly decent keyboard at your disposal, which will almost certainly be faster than writing. You may well have your reasons, but I manage just fine with the keyboard for typing and the pencil for writing.

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Lord Elpuss
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@ I ain't Spartacus

El Reg as a whole may be fairly impartial, but certain writers have very clearly nailed their colours to the anti-Apple mast and take any opportunity they can to snark. Specifically, I have a personal problem with Cupertino Idiot Tax - that's not anti Apple, it's anti Apple owners. Puerile, unoriginal and insulting to a large proportion of the readership; hence my regular retort of grow the fuck up (or variation thereupon).

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Android here I come

"Anyway the Pro looks tempting. But then they put in the stylus I've always wanted on an iPad - and deliberately cripple it so you can't write with it"

You can write, draw and shade in Notes, so I don't know what you're talking about.

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Lord Elpuss
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Cupertino Idiot Tax

Grow the fuck up.

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'All-screen display'? But surely every display is all-screen... or is a screen not a display?

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Playing with fire, Dabbsy?

So somebody says wireless charging is great (which it is), and you immediately took this to mean they were saying that it was the first, very first and only implementation since ever and nobody else had ever done it?

Or did you just jump on the first unstated assumption you could find in an attempt to tenderise a post-existential equine?

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Lord Elpuss
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Not all display? Heresy!

Dabbsy that was the first thing that went through my mind - that it's not actually all display, or even anywhere close. However I have talked to many people since then and since none of them have mentioned it I assumed that I was just being pedantically literal.

Thanks for restoring my faith :)

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Apple's adoption of Qi signals the end of the wireless charging wars

Lord Elpuss
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Re: oxymoron

The article would tend to demonstrate that it's not.

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Lord Elpuss
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Why do you think that is an oxymoron? Apple launches three phones which can charge using industry standard, third-party charging mats. They also launched their own charging mat, also industry standard which others can use.

I don't see the oxymoronism here.

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Apple: Our stores are your 'town square' and a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'

Lord Elpuss
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Re: The interesting bit...

It'll probably still look rubbish, but that's not the phone's fault.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Genius Groves?

FaceTime - first mobile video calling that actually worked well.

Retina Display - first truly high-res mobile display.

TouchID - first mobile biometric scanner that actually worked well.

The fact that these things are now standard, doesn't mean they weren't innovative.

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Lord Elpuss
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"Or, unless they have fixed it, someone else holds a photo of you in front of the lens."

Yeah they fixed it.

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Massive iPhone X leak trashes Apple's 10th anniversary circus

Lord Elpuss
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Re: £1,000 for a phone

It probably won't be a complete Samsung copy.

(1) It won't blow up,

(2) It'll be supported for more than 5 minutes, and

(3) It won't spaff your data over anyone who breathes hard at it (or send it back to the mothership).

While I'm on the subject I reckon if we all chip in a penny or two we can buy old Orlowski an iPhone that he can beat into pulp, thereby releasing some of his obviously pent up rage at all things Apple. Apple are a very rich, far from perfect facelesss corporation, and yet every time I read one of Orlowsi's snarkfests it immediately turns me into a rabid Apple defender just to redress the balance.

Pisses me off.

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IBM's global load balancer and reverse DNS degraded by domain transfer mess

Lord Elpuss
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This exact scenario is unlikely here, but the sentiment is spot on. Upvote.

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Oracle 'systematically denies' its sales reps their commissions, forces them to work to pay off 'debts', court told

Lord Elpuss
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"On the other hand, who can't get behind bad things happening to salesmen :)"

Me.

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Samsung keeps the smartwatch alive. Just

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Ugly

Have you seen Patek Philippe's Nautilus range? Same mix of square vs round. Not saying it's good or bad, just that some people are paying upwards of 30k for this...

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DJI strips out code badness, reveals some GPL odds 'n sods

Lord Elpuss
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Re: My property, my business

"I, for one, am fed up with the Job's/Apple attitude that YOUR property is subject to Apple's control which means our company doesn't use anything from them."

Why single Apple out here? The other major vendors are exactly the same. Windows Mobile and Android by default both mandate app installation via the App Store; and apps are subject to a vetting policy. Android's vetting policy used to be hilariously lax (not exactly a plus in my book) but is now much stronger.

On any of the three major mobile platforms you have the option to disable this if you don't like the restrictions, by jailbreaking or disabling app security restrictions. Then you can do what you like.

The situation is much the same on the desktop. Windows, MacOS and many flavors of Linux offer an App Store which you're encouraged to use, which aims to curate and monitor quality but you don't have to use it - you can install what you like from other sources if you accept that this might carry a security risk.

The fact that you're singling Apple out here suggests that you're either hopelessly biased, or that you don't understand the issue.

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Dell's flagship XPS13 – a 2-in-1 that may fatally frustrate your fingers

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Non-PC company

"Yet here you are, complaining about it."

Not really complaining, youreanidiot, just enjoying the show. In the same way I enjoy those car crash compilations on youTube. This one's a doozy; 221 days long, with no ad breaks.

Which reminds me; one should never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. Bye now.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Non-PC company

@imanidiot

Doesn't suck for me, I couldn't care less. I don't really have a problem with the administration per se, more with the tangerine fucktrumpet at the top of the tree.

Oh and - #notmypresident.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Non-PC company

"No, that is what you are saying by your definition of racists. Lefty morons call anyone who disagrees with them racist, and anyone they strongly disagree with nazis."

No dispute on the definition of bellend though. Bellend.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: and another thing...

"My cameras use CF cards...."

Then I don't think you're the target market.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Non-PC company

"An administration democratically elected by America."

2.8 million Americans say you're dead wrong.

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Judge orders handover of Trump protest website records – DreamHost claims victory

Lord Elpuss
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Re: @AC "The DoJ will not be allowed to share the information with any other government agency"

"and then there's the Obama Administration spying on their political adversaries..."

Wasn't this Fake News(TM)? Or was it an Alternative Fact(TM)? I forget which one but it was definitely one of these. And no, Trump's Twitter ejaculations don't count as proof of anything except that he apparently didn't make it all the way to the end of the assembly line.

I like the disclaimer though - "I'm not a huge fan of trump, but...". Sure buddy, you keep telling yourself that.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: "The DoJ will not be allowed to share the information with any other government agency"

Well yes I guess none of us have any illusions that the other agencies could get the data if they wanted it. What this ruling means is however that the information is not legally admissible in future court cases. Because they should never have had it.

Example; somebody on the website is discussing the Cocaine he has stashed under his sink at home. Local plod get a warrant based on this, break into his house and discover said cocaine. His prosecution would be thrown out because the basis for the warrant was inadmissible (the PD) should in theory never have known the cocaine was there so couldn't have obtained a warrant).

Of course in reality plod will simply sprinkle a little talc and a baggie on the doorstep of the target house, one of their number will just happen to be walking past and 'notices' said baggie, warrant break-in and surprise surprise he had cocaine under the sink.

So yes in theory a court mandate that the info can't be shared is sufficiently protective. In reality it's as protective as a teabag condom.

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Logitech's security cams allegedly suck so bad, this US bloke is suing it

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Security Camera Blues

None are brilliant, but iZon from Stem Innovation seem to be ok. I bought 2 for testing and now use them to watch the garden and shed. They had a security SNAFU a couple of years back, but it was patched and they haven't been in the news since. They're getting a bit long in the tooth now though.

If you're going down the off-the-shelf route for these cameras (as opposed to build your own), the best bet is to use one with open firmware (no phoning home) and WPS support, then put them on a separate VLAN partitioned off with an access control list. After that you don't have to worry too much about security holes in the camera itself. But I'm not an infosec expert so maybe others here have better ideas.

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Oldest flying 747 finally grounded, 47 years after first flight

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Poor Design

They kind of did.

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DJI's Spark drones to be bricked by September 1 unless firmware updated

Lord Elpuss
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Bodged workaround with Fly More Combo

It's not really addressing the problem, but you don't technically need the app to fly the Spark. Once registered and bound to a remote (I have the Fly More combo) you can fly the drone with no connection to the app and therefore no wifi and no update nonsense. Selfies, sport flying and videos work from the remote, but no FPV which I appreciate limits its usefulness; all depends what you want to do with it.

Before you downvote I'm not condoning DJI's update protocol, and I know 99% of Spark owners will not tolerate losing FPV; I'm just outlining a possibility.

Oh and as I understand it the drones won't be bricked after September 1st, they just won't take off until the firmware (for the drone and every battery) is updated.

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Want a medal? Microsoft 7.2% less bad at speech recognition than IBM

Lord Elpuss
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TBH WebSphere was (is?) pretty good. The issues arose due to the sheer spellbinding complexity - often requiring a dedicated team to spend days installing it. For me, the killer was the fact that every WS installation was a custom job, and only ever worked well for one specific environment. Migration, upgrade, patching or even just breathing hard in the server room could often necessitate a custom re-install.

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Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Occam's Razor

"So if the dead person was a ten year old boy? Would it be as funny?"

Funny or not, I suspect it might generate the same level of punnery. People write puns because the context invites it (e.g. 'bizarre'), not because it's socially appropriate. Therefore within certain extreme boundaries, pretty much anything will get punned.

Humour also helps people process unpalatable news; hence why people often recount amusing recollections during a funeral eulogy.

Oh, and you put some thought into it, but still - #virtuesignalling.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Just sub armless fun

That's going out on a limb...

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Voyager antenna operator: 'I was the first human to see images from Neptune'

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Unfortunately...

@Tom Paine

Who are you aiming your wrongometer at?

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Unfortunately...

"Well - one of the reasons girls haven't (traditionally) gone in for STEM is the fear that boys won't like them, if they appear too clever."

Citation needed. Seriously; I've heard this (as hearsay) a bunch of times, but have honestly never ever met a guy who finds clever girls a problem (in fact quite the opposite) - and I've never heard a girl actually say she experiences it as a problem. And I work in IT.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Anntenae (not anntenas)

"when you meant indicies"

Well that must be embarrassing.

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Lord Elpuss
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Our alien overlord is a bellend. Who knew.

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Google's Android 8.0 Oreo has been served

Lord Elpuss
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ANSWER_PHONE_CALLS?

Why, in heaven's name? The only conceivable reason I can think of would be to automate 2FA; and realistically how many people use the 'Please phone me' option with that.

Balancing this against the massive potential for abuse; premium number callback and snooping to name the first things that come to mind..

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British snoops at GCHQ knew FBI was going to arrest Marcus Hutchins

Lord Elpuss
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"Previously, FBI agents had tried claiming Hutchins might try obtaining firearms to commit crimes, based solely on his having tweeted about visiting a shooting range in Las Vegas"

Fuck you, Feds. Seriously. Fuck. You.

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Read IBM CEO Ginni Rometty's letter to staff: Why I walked from Trump's strategy forum

Lord Elpuss
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Re: @Lord E Puss @Strum ... Once is enough

"He's the POTUS and you need to respect that."

He's not my president, and respect is earned. He hasn't earned it.

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