* Posts by Lord Elpuss

971 posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

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Fun fact: GPS uses 10 bits to store the week. That means it runs out... oh heck – April 6, 2019

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

"If ya can't do it yourself you is someone's bitch"

Did you survey and draw the map yourself? No? Then you're someone's bitch.

Only plebs use Office 2019 over Office 365, says Microsoft's weird new ad campaign

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Nothing like having your work day extended a few more hours

Got that, just wanted to highlight the difference between 'free', and 'free at point of use'. Somebody, somewhere, is always paying. And if they're not, then they're the product.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Price?????

But Office365 is 200x more ribbony than Office 97.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

So can I. And I'm using 365. Just sayin'.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Two words - involving sex and travel.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Whats the difference?

If it's in OneDrive it's also synced to your local machine (unless you changed default settings). So you'd have to take additional steps to ensure it was ONLY stored on the Internet, and not on your machine. Not steps that IT n00bs will be taking any time soon.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Nothing like having your work day extended a few more hours because 'The Cloud' is unavailable.

Makes sense. So for most users that will be fine - checking in once per 30 days allows for internet outages, holidays and so on. Presumably after this you can check in by phone as well if you're out in the boonies somewhere?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Whats the difference?

Except that's not true at all, is it.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Nothing like having your work day extended a few more hours

"It's a free download for students and teachers at schools and colleges"

It's free to the user, but not to the establishment (site licenses can cost serious $$$, even for educational institutions)

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Nothing like having your work day extended a few more hours because 'The Cloud' is unavailable.

I use Office 365, have never had availability issues. As far as I can tell the app is local but checks in with the mothership from time to time; I've gone 3 weeks with no connectivity and it's been fine.

iPhone price cuts are coming, teases Apple CEO. *Bring-bring* Hello, Apple UK? It's El Reg. You free to chat?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: The reasons for the iPhone sales slump were threefold

They have a walled garden of disgruntled users that have no way out.

They don't seem to be too disgruntled.

Apple Devices Earn Highest Customer Satisfaction Score Among PC and Tablet Makers

iPhone 7 Plus tops smartphone consumer satisfaction survey

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Re They are still THE premium smartphone.

it's superior in every way to iOS

Apart from privacy. And updates. And transparency.

Personally I think the head of every smartphone manufacturer should have something about themselves they want to keep deeply private, in order to truly understand how important privacy is. In Tim Cook's case, it was being gay - until he was accidentally outed on national TV.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Re They are still THE premium smartphone.

A Pixel2 is indeed a fine smartphone; except for two major downers. A. it's only (remotely) affordable because it sells your data to the highest bidder, and B. the app that connects to my bike works on every Android phone out there, except the Pixel2 and the Oneplus 5T. Go figure.

Fake broadband ISP support scammers accidentally cough up IP address to Deadpool in card phish gone wrong

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Dirty Scammers

Put them on a real technical support desk. That's enough punishment.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

I don't think this works any more with digital exchanges; signals are clipped, so a rape alarm or similar will be heard as an annoying peep, but won't bust any eardrums.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Well?

Unfortunately I would seriously, seriously doubt any prosecution will be forthcoming. Even if the police knew what to do with the info they've been given, this will have zero priority for them.

I say unfortunately as I've been scammed a couple of times (I buy and sell a lot online and sometimes don't do due diligence as much as I should) - and despite in two cases giving the police a complete evidence file including IPs, complete communication records, actual bank details of the scammer, address and copy of photo ID, they declined to pursue. That's not "we had a look but on the balance of the evidence realised no prosecution was likely", they declined to pursue at all. As in - not even look at the case.

After I raised an official complaint I was contacted by a police representative who said it was staffing and priority issues, also the amount involved was less than 300. I reminded her that speeding fines are mostly also less than 300, but they have no trouble at all pursuing those.

I want to like the police, I really do. But on the small number of occasions I've needed them, they've been absolutely no use whatsoever; whilst managing to pick up every small infraction the other way and prosecuting it to the greatest extent permissible by law.

Huawei and Intel hype up AI hardware, TensorFlow tidbits, and more

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: deepfake?

Deepfake is the new AI. The same media that considers a DB lookup with a speech-to-text interface as Artificial Intelligence, also thinks that a bit of minor video editing is the same as a deepfake.

Sigh.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: That is no deepfake

Came here to post exactly this; this is not a deepfake, it's just basic video editing. I could do it in 10 minutes on my iPhone.

If I could turn back time, I'd tell you to keep that old Radarange at home

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Very similar story did the rounds when I was at IBM back in the '80s; the S/370 mainframe would suddenly going haywire every couple of months for no apparent reason. System software reloaded and parts replaced to no avail, the problems would appear, and then a week or two later disappear with no explanation. Until a tech looked out of the window on the day that the problems started, and noticed that the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise was in port. Turned out the mainframe was susceptible to radiation from the carrier radar array, and installing shielding in the server room fixed the problem.

I've heard this story in a number of variants many times since then, I used to think they were all retellings from the same source. But then; if one mainframe is susceptible to radar frequency radiation, it stands to reason that others are too. So it's definitely possible that multiple variants of this situation actually happened.

Did you know that iOS ad clicks cost more than Android? These scammers did

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

”have you taken a ride on the proletariat omnibuses recently? ever council estate mum has an iphone now. it's not the glorious symbol of wealth it used to be. it's tinsel for idiots.“

Insular thinking. Try expanding your world view to include Africa, India and big chunks of Asia rather than just the UK, which sits fairly close to the top of the GDP per capita pile regardless of where in the UK you live.

Council house mum has hundreds of times more disposable income than 90% of India - where landfill Android is a status symbol.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

"iOS users are more suggestible than Android users? Say it isn't so!"

No, it's that iOS users are perceived as more well-off, and more likely to part with their copious quantities of freely disposable income because they can clearly miss it.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

"Easiest way is torch on / off commands typed in a google assistant window on stock to avoid d/l of a potentially dubious torch app - takes a few seconds longer but safer"

The easiest way is to buy an iPhone.

It's official. Microsoft pushes Google over the Edge, shifts browser to Chromium engine

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: OK, then...

I'm no Microsoft fan, but Insecure Exposer, really?

GOPwned: Republicans fall victim to email hack

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: All we can do is wait

@Big John

"They didn't because there is no there there"

Leaving aside the nonsensical sentence, how on earth do you know there's nothing there? Either you were involved in the hack yourself, or you're just another Trumpian blind follower with zero knowledge and enormous opinions. Either way, what you say can safely be discounted.

Not a price cut! Apple perks up soggy iPhone demand with rebate boost

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: iPhone SE

@RegGuy1

The fact that you don’t know how to use your phone doesn’t mean it’s shite.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Uh huh.

Doomsayers have been forecasting the imminent demise of Apple since the 90s; if not earlier. Only thing it’s proven is that they don’t ‘get’ the company.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Who needs analysts?

”It's like if New Coke cost more. Now, that's an extreme example.... But you don't see McDonald's messing with Big Macs and whacking the price up.“

Bad analogy. McDonald’s prices across the board have risen astronomically last couple of years. I’m addition to supply chain alterations (eg fresh beef), they’re trying to transition to a regular restaurant model. Service to your table, gourmet burgers and so on.

https://money.cnn.com/2018/04/30/investing/mcdonalds-earnings/index.html

iPhone XS: Just another £300 for a better cam- Wait, come back!

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Or the Privacy Price.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: SE for me

<italic>"My private phone is a google Nexus"</italic>

If it's a Nexus, it's not private. That's (one of) the reasons why Android phones are cheaper; because you're the product.

Oracle sued by app sales rep: I made tens of millions for Larry, then fired for being neither young nor male – claim

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: The bare facts of the matter

The article's not completely clear, but it appears she was personally responsible for $20m in revenue, and contributed to a $73m deal. This is the kind of loose change that Oracle execs find in their pockets when looking for parking money, so it's unlikely she would have been kept on sales performance alone.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: PIPs are fake

"The easiest way to fight this in court is to ask for evidence that a PIP has ever been successful.."

Speaking as someone with some legal experience in this area (from the company side), there is pretty much zero chance that this approach would work. Oracle would argue (and the judge would concur) that whether PIPs have been successful in other circumstances is in no way relevant to THIS PIP, for THIS particular situation and THIS person.

Microsoft slips ads into Windows 10 Mail client – then U-turns so hard, it warps fabric of reality

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

One way or another they'll get their money...

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: You paid

"I pay good money to build my own (desktops)."

I used to, then I got fed up with running an unfunded helpdesk for my entire extended family. For the last couple of years I've been on Mac - only additional software is ABP on Safari, and since then have had exactly zero complaints.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

"MS will happily sling any old shit, so long as they get paid."

Ah yes, but therein lies the rub. MS will only get paid (in the long term) if the ads are somewhat successful. So trying to flog you sh*t you neither need nor want is counterproductive - hence the massive investment in AI Business Analytics.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Got Linux?

Got MacOS?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: WTF?

Sure for you and me $16bn is a lot. Per year, for a company the size of Microsoft? Not so much.

Can your rival fix it as fast? turns out to be ten-million-dollar question for plucky support guy

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Re: recompense?

I worked on a 5-man support team a couple of years back which collectively drove a $20.7m deal. The salesman got a percentage (in theory anywhere up to 5% although obviously nobody knew exactly how much - mucho $$$ in any case). We got an email from the big boss to say good job. The kicker was that the email started with: Dear ELPUSS, LORD,:... even the thankyou letter was a mail merge.

5.1 update sends Apple's Watch 4 bling spinning into an Infinite Loop of reboot cycles

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

It is if you work for Samsung...

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: There's a sucker born every minute?

”You use a watch to tell you what fucking time it is!“

Shittest Luddite argument I’ve ever heard. YOU might use a watch to tell what f*cking time it is. OTHER PEOPLE might use it for different things. Y’kniw, like mobile phones do more than just make calls?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: There's a sucker born every minute?

"Please stop rubbishing people's life style choices."

You're on a hiding to nothing on this site, son. Spent more than the absolute bare minimum on a device? Can't view and/or edit every line of code ever used to program it? Don't have a security certificate signed in blood by the Elders of the Internet? Prepare to be ridiculed until you break down and repent.

Mourning Apple's war against sockets? The 2018 Mac mini should be your first port of call

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Naysayers ...

"Nope, us Linux folks also think appletards are soft in the head and the wallet."

Nothing soft about my wallet thankyouverymuch

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

@Lee D

"With that OS, running inside a Windows 7 hypervisor, I can allocate 25% of the laptop resources and enjoy BETTER performance inside the VM than on a real Mac. "

No, you can't.

This one weird trick turns your Google Home Hub into a doorstop

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Well it's probably the Google brain drain

"their Android is just as bad as any other mobile operating system"

It's not 'just as bad' - in ways that matter (security/privacy) it's orders of magnitude worse.

Watch closely as NASA deploys the world's biggest parachute at supersonic speeds

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Empathy

"I can certainly empathize with this. Firing prematurely rarely turns out well "

Yup. And it usually results in a crash and burn.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: re. as big as a size of a house

"Please note that the proper scientific unit of volume..."

And some miserable twat downvoted you :D :D

Boffins have fabricated microscopic sci-fi tractor beams for real

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: diverse new possibilities

IBM Atoms

And that was back in 1989.

Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: @AC ... Redhat employees - get out now

"Sorry, son, but you're dead wrong."

I disagree. I worked for IBM back in the 90s, pre PwCC, and loved it. The company had a culture, an identity, innovation and creativity, and some very very talented people. And that was in the 90s - not exactly IBM's best time. My dad worked there from '72 until he retired in '89, and constantly reminisced what a wonderful career he'd had.

FYI: Faking court orders to take down Google reviews is super illegal

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Worship of paper

"Note that it is this technique that helped the America authorities track down Reality Winner."

Not wishing to take away from the gist of your post, but there's no evidence that dot tracking was a technique used to track down Reality Winner. The court filings simply say 'sources' without elaborating.

Screwed SAP salesman scores $660,000 jury award

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Welcome to the world of software sales!

"Another downside of being in sales (and this will probably be of more interest to the readers of The Reg) is that when we sell stuff to a customer and the implementation team make a b*lls up of implementing it, the salesperson is not only delayed in getting paid the commission, but if the customer refuses to pay the full amount due to the b*lls up the percentage that the salesperson gets is also reduced."

I used to work for an IBM business partner, and can tell you that's how it works at IBM too. If a customer buys a software product, they often have the right to return it if unused. When that happens, the commission is reclaimed from the seller - which is good, because an unethical seller who sold the client something they didn't want or need ultimately won't get paid on the deal, so it forces them to focus on stuff with real value.

Where this falls down is when the seller has left the company or moved out of Sales by the time the client returns the product. There's no way in hell that IBM will be left out of pocket, so it's the seller who owns the client account at that moment who is responsible for paying back the commission. Which sucks as you're paying for somebody else's mistake. I've seen sellers join Big Blue, collect a negative commission in their first quarter due to their predecessor's f*ckups, and then leave disgusted and demoralised. If they were any good, we used to snap them up.

Groupon to pay IBM $57m after getting money off e-commerce patent settlement

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: IBM has patented things like breathing and movement, etc.

IBM invented some amazing sh*t over the years. ATMs, the hard disk, (D)RAM, barcodes, magstripes, the electron microscope, the concept of virtual machines, laser eye surgery, e-commerce, the first general-purpose mainframe (and the first Mainframe, for that matter), magnetic tape, human-readable machine code (FORTRAN), Fractals, putting people on the Moon and the first smartphone; to name just a few.

IBM typically earns its patents, and does great things with them. Their technical and engineering expertise deserves huge respect, whatever your feelings about the current management.

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