* Posts by Lord Elpuss

896 posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

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Code of conduct claims new Texas Instruments CEO after just six weeks

Lord Elpuss
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Surely can't be as mundane as

Dipping his pen in the company ink?

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Kremlin hacking crew went on a 'Roman Holiday' – researchers

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Dephi?

Upvote for the Verity reference :D

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'Fibre broadband' should mean glass wires poking into your router, reckons Brit survey

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Hyperoptic

"They most certainly DO NOT install a whopping great 200 port enterprise router in the basement. ;-)"

They might. Depends on what the punters there are paying.

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Scam alert: No, hackers don't have webcam vids of you enjoying p0rno. Don't give them any $$s

Lord Elpuss
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"I've never been anywhere near an adult site and most likely never will..."

Uhhuh.

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AR upstart Magic Leap reveals majorly late tech specs' tech specs

Lord Elpuss
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Re: so it's hololense

What's this got to do with Apple?

Fandroids gotta hate I guess.

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Cops suspect Detroit fuel station was hacked before 10 drivers made off with 2.3k 'free' litres

Lord Elpuss
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"Don't image that energy cost in Europe is that much more expensive than California."

It may not be. But the tax is a killer...

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Leatherbound analogue password manager: For the hipster who doesn't mind losing everything

Lord Elpuss
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Re: How to waste bad people's time.+

Or just have one of these books filled with garbage, and keep your real passwords somewhere else. Should waste a few hours of thief/cybervillain/state actor time before they realise...

I used to carry around a MicroSD with all kinds of dodgy files on it (a folder called Project Reticle, a spreadsheet full of random 5-letter groups, an astrophysics PDF with certain letters in the article strategically highlighted, and so on) - just to waste the time of any agent that might stop and search me.

Until somebody reminded me that if they DID stop me, and found said MicroSD, there was a distinct probability that they would lock me up until I told them what it all meant. Which would likely be an extremely long time given that it was garbage.

So I left it taped to the side of a coffee cup in Starbucks. Still wonder from time to time what became of it and if it ever ended up being 'investigated'.

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Lord Elpuss
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I thought you were exaggerating. Then I clicked the link.

It's absolutely hideous; I've seen better for 99c from Ali Express.

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HTC U12+: You said we should wait and review the retail product. Hate to break it to you, but...

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Trying to be Apple.

Because only Apple gets it right.

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Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

Lord Elpuss
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Re: tamper-proof screws aren't

”Oh, kewl! A fanboi! It's even making up fan fiction about me. I must have arrived :-)“

All fiction writers have their fanbases ;)

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: tamper-proof screws aren't

”@jake - "I have a small fitted plastic case containing 154 bits that can be used to remove nearly every "tamper proof" screw known to man."

But did it contain the Apple pentalobes?“

It’s Jake. He came up with the idea of pentalobes during a pilgrimage to Israel where he had a vision of a Torx morphing into the Star of David above the stable where he was staying. He was later ceremonially presented with the first gold-plated Pentalobe set by Steve Jobs himself; at Steve’s house, over dinner; before spending the next six months personally instructing Apple’s designers on how to use them correctly.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Prediction for the next problems

"The standard things to try out would be:

Using a strong magnet to make the motor turn without being told to do so. That way you could open the lock.

Reading off the fingerprint from the reader, generating a fingerprint mask and using it on the device. If they were really stupid, they didn't check for "latent fingerprints" and all you have to do is breathe at it."

Magnets won't work on steppers, and decent fingerprint scanners will ignore masks - which would make these methods useless for any well designe... oh wait.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: As I was reading...

"...it must of been"

...it must HAVE been.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: The Bruce Willis film RED

Didn't you blow up an asteroid too a few years back?

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Lord Elpuss
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Lord Elpuss
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I think they're hoping that owners will test their own locks and return them if defective. Cheaper than a recall.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Devil's Advocate

"I see it as the iPhone of locks."

You couldn't be more wrong; this is the iPhone of locks. Simple, clean, form follows function, does what it needs to do and gets out of your way.

And it's made of Triduralumin which costs $1000 per ounce.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: tamper-proof screws aren't

"...those that don't can usually be defeated by hitting a cheap chinesium screwdriver so it moulds itself to the screwhead"

Upvote for Chinesium :))

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This HTC U12+ review page is left intentionally blank

Lord Elpuss
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Re: HTC replaced real buttons with touch

"...1 thumb down"

Enough balls to downvote but not enough to write a rebuttal? Sad.

Seriously though - do you have actual grounds to disagree, or is it just a case of Victor Meldrew grumbling about things he can't or won't understand?

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: HTC replaced real buttons with touch

There are reasons other than cost for using haptics on a touch panel. Waterproofing, chemical and germ boundaries (in hospitals etc) are three that spring to mind.

I can't help feeling that WallMeerkat and Shadow Systems are confusing haptics with touch-sensitive buttons. All the arguments against touch panels are valid, but have nothing to do with haptics.

A good haptic system provides accurate physical feedback akin to pressing (or running your fingers over) a physical button; where no physical button exists. Note that haptic feedback is different to just a vibration (unless it's trying to simulate a vibration).

At Interconnect in Vegas last year I tried a 3x4 haptic control panel simulating a numeric keypad - it used kilohertz vibrations along a single pixel width line, which replicated pretty much exactly the feeling of running a fingertip over a button edge. Each button had a 'rough' surface (simulated by the frequency generator), and 'pressing' a button gave a physical click, which you would swear was depressing a button. It was an out-of-brain experience looking at the keypad after navigating it by touch alone, with all the textures and sensations, to see that it was completely flat and featureless glass.

This was a startup running a demo, but clearly demonstrated the difference between haptics and touch controls. They're not the same thing.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: If you're gonna wait, why not wait a year?

"Would El Reg be as charitable if Apple released new iPhones this September with a glaring software bug that affected their usability and decide "well we'll review it in October after they've had a chance to fix it""

No chance; they'd put the boot in. As they rightly should in my view.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: HTC replaced real buttons with touch

"I've never ever used so called haptic feedback that wasn't garbage."

Then you haven't used the haptic trackpad on a Mac. If it wasn't for the fact that it didn't click when it was turned off, you'd genuinely not believe it wasn't a physical button. Haptics done right.

I also have to say I like the haptic (Taptic?) engine on the Apple Watch; it's not in the same league as the Mac trackpad, but good nonetheless.

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Da rude sand storm seizes the Opportunity, threatens to KO rover

Lord Elpuss
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Re: A place in history

"My first PC was a 386 20MHz system with 4MB of RAM. It could run Windows 3.1, Word for Windows, Excel, play various games, handle programming in Turbo C, etc."

"Fact is, you can achieve a surprising amount with older/slower tech if you are efficient with your code."

It's not often that you see Windows in the same post as Efficient with Code

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At last: Magic Leap reveals its revolutionary techno-goggles – but wait, there's a catch

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Wow!

Wow indeed. Because Elon Musk has never delivered anything substantial.

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Google freezes Android P: Get your shoes on, tire-kicking devs

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Unlike Apple?

"but unlike Apple's offering, it requires children under 13 to have a Google account."

The statement is absolutely correct. Apple devices do not require children under 13 to have a Google account.

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Platinum partner had 'affair' with my wife – then Oracle screwed me, ex-sales boss claims

Lord Elpuss
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"the plaintiff says he complained to his supervisor "that an individual Oracle 'Platinum Partner' was having an affair with his wife..."

Well as he was working for Oracle he was still getting regularly fucked, so no real reason to complain.

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Remember that $5,000 you spent on Tesla's Autopilot and then sued when it didn't deliver? We have good news...

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Autopilot?

@AC

2 fatalities in 130 million fully autonomous miles.

You clearly have no understanding of the technology involved. Now run along, your mum says your tea's ready.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Autopilot?

Re yachts, shipping etc...

Teslas already have a highly advanced autopilot; an order of magnitude more advanced than systems in shipping vessels, and way more than just cruise control. Cars travel much faster, are much closer together and have to navigate far more complex environments than ships, and even then Tesla systems are nearly at the fully autonomous stage - it truly is an impressive achievement. The issue is that nearly Isn’t enough; Musk promised it would be fully autonomous and road-legal, and that hasn’t happened yet.

It must be incredibly frustrating for Elon. The product is AWESOMELY good, and yet because he’d promised it would be INSANELY good, it’s still perceived as underperforming.

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Lord Elpuss
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I took Specialized to court...

...for similar reasons. I bought a Specialized Vado 4.0, which was (and still is) touted as having the ‘Specialized Mission Control App’ - which links via Bluetooth LE and provides granular control over motor output, range, navigation and advanced logging abilities.

Problem is the Vado wasn’t, isn’t, and probably never will be compatible with the Mission Control app - at least on iOS. I requested a refund, Specialized first refused on the grounds that the App wasn’t essential to the riding experience, second it was just around the corner and would be delivered any day soon, and third I’d moved state and therefore wasn’t entitled to a refund outside the first 30 days.

Took the bastards to the Small Claims court, and luckily the judge agreed the bike wasn’t as described, and omitted key functionality which, had I been aware, would have influenced my purchasing choice to the extent that I probably wouldn’t have bought it. I got the purchase price back minus $250 for the 950 ridden miles; which I still believe I shouldn’t have had to pay, but accepted because otherwise I’d have had to spend even more serious money. For the record this was back in November 2017; the app still hasn’t been delivered for iOS.

Bastards. The attitude of “We can advertise one thing, sell you something else and you’ll just have to suck it” Will never buy from them again.

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Algorithms, Henry VIII powers, dodgy 1-man-firms: Reg strokes claw over Data Protection Bill

Lord Elpuss
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Re: EU Charter of Fundamental Rights

"1 Downvote"

Theresa May is that you?

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The great wearables myth busted: Apps never, ever mattered

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Captain Hook's bad hand

Thanks :-)

TBCH I did steal it from somewhere - can't remember where exactly.

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Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Lord Elpuss
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Re: The importance of backups...

"[*] I once asked him why he gave up teaching and he said that the final straw was when a pupil asked him if urea was soluble."

That's taking the piss.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: lots of space

“Let’s see, you have 4 meg free.” “Wow, 8 meg in total, thanks!” he says, pleased with his negotiating power. “No, 4 meg in total.” “Huh, but I’d used 4 meg already; how can...” I say nothing, it’ll come to him...

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Sometimes just measuring isn't enough...

“Murphy’s law in action.“

That’s not Murphy’s law, that’s karma.

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Lord Elpuss
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"Oddly enough they were no longer able to find their data, and various error messages were showing on reboot."

On the plus side, they did have lots of space...

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Lord Elpuss
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Devil

You forgot the joke icon

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Double destruction.

"I retrieved the original disk from the bin and have kept it on my desk for the last 40 years or so as a reminder to always do backups and to always do them properly."

And to never let engineers near your stuff without having seen them work on somebody else's stuff first :D

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Personal Tragedy

These are the life lessons we (hope to) impart to our children/successors. But it never works; they need to make their own mistakes (like we did) in order to appreciate why things like backups, partitions, checking and testing are important.

I once decided to consolidate all of my family's photos (10+years worth) onto one 1TB disk. Iomega, 3.5", braided USB cable, in a big old armageddon-proof aluminium desktop enclosure. 300 odd quid, if I remember right.

Copied everything across from laptops, digital cameras, SD cards, USB sticks and the like, then deleted all the originals (otherwise what's the point?) and went on holiday for 2 weeks.

Came back from holiday and the two-week-and-couple-of-days-old disk had a catastrophic head crash.

Losing the photos was bad. Finding out that the warranty only covered the cost of a replacement disk (and not the cost of data recovery) was worse. Having to explain to my wife what had happened (when it was my bright idea to start with) was one of the worst moments of my technical life.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: The importance of backups...

We're all friends here :)

Sarcastic, opinionated, pedantic, objectionable and sometimes downright abusive, but friends nonetheless.

http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/punctuation/apostrophe-rules.html

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: I'm sure nearly everyone's done it...

That's the way to do it.

Having a good, tested backup turns this kind of situation from "You'll never work in the industry again" into a "No harm done, lesson learned for the future.".

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Lord Elpuss
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I would say:

Format (charge the user for your time), then

Reinstall (charge the user for your time), then

Destructive Format (charge the user for your time, and for a new disk).

That should stop them calling.

And thanks ;)

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Lord Elpuss
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"And OS/2 booted up instead of Windows"

There must be a BOFH article about doing this to a (l)user as punishment. If there isn't, there should be.

Sidenote Am in your neck of the woods this week - Johannesburg.

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NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Lord Elpuss
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Re: What an odd way of putting it!

"...craftspersiblingboatymcboatnymous"

I have a traumatised bicycle here that wishes to file a complaint alleging that your naming convention is discriminatory, by implying that boats are in some way superior to other modes of transport.

Please change this name forthwith in all literature to Craftspersiblingvehiclemcvehiclenymous.

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Lord Elpuss
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I’m presuming the original story is apocryphal, but am also absolutely certain it’s a conversation which has been had many times, in many places and many industries through the years.

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Lord Elpuss
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There was a story years back about a big old diesel engine that wouldn't start. The engineer was called, wandered around for 10 minutes then gave it a tap with a hammer; upon which it started right up. A few days later the engine owner received an invoice for $10,000. Fuming, he called the maintenance company; "10 grand to hit it with a hammer?" The maintenance company replied "It's $2 for hitting it with a hammer, and $9,998 for knowing where to hit."

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: There is nothing like:

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01/13/bofh_2006_episode_2/

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Facebook Android app caught seeking 'superuser' clearance

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Slurp on

AFAIK, GDPR explicitly forbids service in return for personal data, unless that personal data is necessary for providing the service.

So saying "If you want us to send you a some crappy copy/paste on what the name of your firstborn child allegedly means, please enter their name and your email below" is OK, whereas "In order to send cat videos to your mates, please enter the name of your firstborn child and your email below" is not ok.

GDPR also says that data must only be used for the purpose(s) for which consent has specifically been given, and must be destroyed when it is no longer needed for that purpose. So once you've sent your email saying 'The name 'Fartboy' has its origins in Middle-eastern heraldic runes dating from 1297' etc, you are required to destroy your copy of the data. burying some text in the privacy agreement saying you reserve the right to keep it forever and/or mail it to relevant marketing companies who will send you spam is absolutely NOT ok.

Additionally: you have the right to request what data a company has on you, who they've given it to, and exactly what they will be using it for. If you don't like it, you can demand it's deletion/destruction, and the company you gave it to is required to (a) do it within 1 month, and (b) make sure anybody else they've given it to also destroys it within 1 month.

GDPR is A GOOD THING. More than a few parasitic marketing companies will be sh*tting themselves roundabout now.

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Das blinkenlights are back thanks to RPi revival of the PDP-11

Lord Elpuss
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Re: How noisy are the cooling fans?

”Although, in today's world of DevOps App builders, understanding the basics no longer seems to be all that important.“

Understanding the basics is still important, it’s just that the definition of ‘basic’ has changed through the years. Much like math or engineering students no longer learn the ‘basic’ skill of using a slide rule - because there’s just no point any more.

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Meet Asteroid, a drop-in Linux upgrade for your unloved smartwatch

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Garmin rock, but for the budget conscious

Glad you like your SW3; probably not the best idea to compare it to Apple Watch though, given that they're equivalent in many ways (and where they're not, Apple Watch comes out ahead).

They both have GPS.

They're both waterproof.

The SW3 cost $200 at launch. Not exactly cheap (although it does look it).

Re 'Functional' - I see your local storage and raise you the App Store. Horses for courses, but in the time I owned an Apple Watch 2 (4GB) I never filled up more than about 350MB. How many apps and songs do you need on your wrist?

Transflective LCD isn't even close to OLED.

I'm not a fan of square screens (not even Apple's) - but putting Android Wear on a square-faced watch is just crazy - it's supported by exactly nobody. Not even Sony any more.

Second hand retail - the Apple Watch 1 goes for GBP150 second hand now. The 1st gen still more than GBP100. The SW3? GBP20-30.

You say it looks better - it's subjective, but I think it looks like a cheap Chinese knockoff. And if you're going to go that route, do it properly and get a Kingwear; 40 quid will get you a new one.

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