* Posts by Lord Elpuss

940 posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

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Microsoft slips ads into Windows 10 Mail client – then U-turns so hard, it warps fabric of reality

Lord Elpuss
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One way or another they'll get their money...

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: You paid

"I pay good money to build my own (desktops)."

I used to, then I got fed up with running an unfunded helpdesk for my entire extended family. For the last couple of years I've been on Mac - only additional software is ABP on Safari, and since then have had exactly zero complaints.

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Lord Elpuss
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"MS will happily sling any old shit, so long as they get paid."

Ah yes, but therein lies the rub. MS will only get paid (in the long term) if the ads are somewhat successful. So trying to flog you sh*t you neither need nor want is counterproductive - hence the massive investment in AI Business Analytics.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Got Linux?

Got MacOS?

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: WTF?

Sure for you and me $16bn is a lot. Per year, for a company the size of Microsoft? Not so much.

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Can your rival fix it as fast? turns out to be ten-million-dollar question for plucky support guy

Lord Elpuss
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Re: recompense?

I worked on a 5-man support team a couple of years back which collectively drove a $20.7m deal. The salesman got a percentage (in theory anywhere up to 5% although obviously nobody knew exactly how much - mucho $$$ in any case). We got an email from the big boss to say good job. The kicker was that the email started with: Dear ELPUSS, LORD,:... even the thankyou letter was a mail merge.

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5.1 update sends Apple's Watch 4 bling spinning into an Infinite Loop of reboot cycles

Lord Elpuss
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It is if you work for Samsung...

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: There's a sucker born every minute?

”You use a watch to tell you what fucking time it is!“

Shittest Luddite argument I’ve ever heard. YOU might use a watch to tell what f*cking time it is. OTHER PEOPLE might use it for different things. Y’kniw, like mobile phones do more than just make calls?

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: There's a sucker born every minute?

"Please stop rubbishing people's life style choices."

You're on a hiding to nothing on this site, son. Spent more than the absolute bare minimum on a device? Can't view and/or edit every line of code ever used to program it? Don't have a security certificate signed in blood by the Elders of the Internet? Prepare to be ridiculed until you break down and repent.

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Mourning Apple's war against sockets? The 2018 Mac mini should be your first port of call

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Naysayers ...

"Nope, us Linux folks also think appletards are soft in the head and the wallet."

Nothing soft about my wallet thankyouverymuch

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Lord Elpuss
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@Lee D

"With that OS, running inside a Windows 7 hypervisor, I can allocate 25% of the laptop resources and enjoy BETTER performance inside the VM than on a real Mac. "

No, you can't.

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This one weird trick turns your Google Home Hub into a doorstop

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Well it's probably the Google brain drain

"their Android is just as bad as any other mobile operating system"

It's not 'just as bad' - in ways that matter (security/privacy) it's orders of magnitude worse.

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Watch closely as NASA deploys the world's biggest parachute at supersonic speeds

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Empathy

"I can certainly empathize with this. Firing prematurely rarely turns out well "

Yup. And it usually results in a crash and burn.

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: re. as big as a size of a house

"Please note that the proper scientific unit of volume..."

And some miserable twat downvoted you :D :D

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Boffins have fabricated microscopic sci-fi tractor beams for real

Lord Elpuss
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Re: diverse new possibilities

IBM Atoms

And that was back in 1989.

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Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

Lord Elpuss
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Re: @AC ... Redhat employees - get out now

"Sorry, son, but you're dead wrong."

I disagree. I worked for IBM back in the 90s, pre PwCC, and loved it. The company had a culture, an identity, innovation and creativity, and some very very talented people. And that was in the 90s - not exactly IBM's best time. My dad worked there from '72 until he retired in '89, and constantly reminisced what a wonderful career he'd had.

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FYI: Faking court orders to take down Google reviews is super illegal

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Worship of paper

"Note that it is this technique that helped the America authorities track down Reality Winner."

Not wishing to take away from the gist of your post, but there's no evidence that dot tracking was a technique used to track down Reality Winner. The court filings simply say 'sources' without elaborating.

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Screwed SAP salesman scores $660,000 jury award

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Welcome to the world of software sales!

"Another downside of being in sales (and this will probably be of more interest to the readers of The Reg) is that when we sell stuff to a customer and the implementation team make a b*lls up of implementing it, the salesperson is not only delayed in getting paid the commission, but if the customer refuses to pay the full amount due to the b*lls up the percentage that the salesperson gets is also reduced."

I used to work for an IBM business partner, and can tell you that's how it works at IBM too. If a customer buys a software product, they often have the right to return it if unused. When that happens, the commission is reclaimed from the seller - which is good, because an unethical seller who sold the client something they didn't want or need ultimately won't get paid on the deal, so it forces them to focus on stuff with real value.

Where this falls down is when the seller has left the company or moved out of Sales by the time the client returns the product. There's no way in hell that IBM will be left out of pocket, so it's the seller who owns the client account at that moment who is responsible for paying back the commission. Which sucks as you're paying for somebody else's mistake. I've seen sellers join Big Blue, collect a negative commission in their first quarter due to their predecessor's f*ckups, and then leave disgusted and demoralised. If they were any good, we used to snap them up.

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Groupon to pay IBM $57m after getting money off e-commerce patent settlement

Lord Elpuss
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Re: IBM has patented things like breathing and movement, etc.

IBM invented some amazing sh*t over the years. ATMs, the hard disk, (D)RAM, barcodes, magstripes, the electron microscope, the concept of virtual machines, laser eye surgery, e-commerce, the first general-purpose mainframe (and the first Mainframe, for that matter), magnetic tape, human-readable machine code (FORTRAN), Fractals, putting people on the Moon and the first smartphone; to name just a few.

IBM typically earns its patents, and does great things with them. Their technical and engineering expertise deserves huge respect, whatever your feelings about the current management.

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Remember when Apple's FaceTime stopped working years ago? Yeah, that was deliberate

Lord Elpuss
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Re: re: Um. Calm the f*ck down....

"Do none of you know how to properly spell "fuck"?"

Course we do, but we didn't want to overreact.

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Lord Elpuss
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"Sorry, they deserve it this time for trying to throw out the lawsuit with their "We can do what we want because you accepted the T&Cs" argument."

Not disagreeing that's a twattish move and deserved to be kicked out, and I also sincerely hope they lose this lawsuit. My (well documented and long running) gripe with 'Idiot-tax corporation' is that it's an insult to their customers, not the company itself - and given that people have a perfect right to buy whatever the f*ck they like, including shiny beads if they so wish, I believe it's out of line to call them idiots.

And if you do call them idiots, then everybody who buys a BMW, a Nespresso, a bottle of single malt, a piece of branded clothing, anything from Coca-Cola, Lindt chocolate, a Samsung phone or TV, any celebrity chef-branded meals, posh furniture, Philips Hue, Bose headphones, Microsoft Surface, Bauknecht or Miele white goods, a Dyson or BASICALLY ANYTHING THAT'S SOLD THROUGH ADVERTISING, is also an idiot. Because for 90% of our purchases it's possible to buy something cheaper that more-or-less does the same job, but you know what? It's none of your, my or anybody elses' business whether people buy the cheaper version or the more expensive one, and it doesn't make them an idiot for doing it.

So I say again, this time with feeling; El Reg can f*ck right off with their 'idiot-tax' bollocks.

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Lord Elpuss
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”Cupertino idiot-tax operation“

Grow the f*ck up, Kieren.

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What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

Lord Elpuss
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"The IBM defense is BS and everyone knows it."

Not disagreeing - but if this is the case, then the complaint is BS too - it's really about the money not the age.

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Bug bounty alert: Musk lets pro hackers torpedo Tesla firmware risk free

Lord Elpuss
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@regregular

It's a large step in the right direction, and as such worthy of recognition. The fact that the step isn't as massive as you might like it to be, i.e. reaching the end goal in one fell swoop, doesn't mean it's worthless.

And the 'dirty weasel' clause, as you put it, sounds like sensible limitation of collateral damage on Tesla's part - if you happen to be in a part of the world where there are no Tesla service centers, it might cost them many thousands to recover your bricked vehicle; and why the hell should they do that when they didn't ask you to do the bricking?

Sheesh. Reminds me of this: Dudley's Presents.

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Apple pushes new iOS 12 beta build to silence notification spam

Lord Elpuss
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@paulf

Force touch would have been a great solution. I read that too about Force Touch not being included, but can't understand the reasoning; to me it's a well designed, useful feature. Hope it's nothing more than a rumour...

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Lord Elpuss
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@paulf

"...makes me suspect it's a reference to the frustrating bug/problem feature where turning Wifi or Bluetooth off from the Control Centre only turns it off temporarily..."

Yep got that; just wanted to point out that saying it 'can't' be switched off is erroneous.

I fall into the "Stupid, stupid decision" camp on this; although having said that I did have a conversation with Apple support the other day where they told me it was incredible the number of support calls they used to get from people who'd turned off Bluetooth and thought their Apple Pencil was broken, or had turned off Wifi and couldn't work out why AirDrop or AirPrint wasn't working. So making it 'Off' as opposed to OFF might have been a motivator here - to reduce support calls from muppets.

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Lord Elpuss
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It’s Bluetooth not BlueTooth, and you can turn it off. Settings>Bluetooth.

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Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Oh so familiar

@Maverick

”I wouldn't correct people on here on networking, please allow me my expertise“

I think people are downvoting you less for your ‘expertise’ and more for your condescending tone.

Suggest you follow course 101 in respectful commenting.

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Wondering what to do with that $2,300 burning a hole in your pocket?

Lord Elpuss
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Re: "does this read more like an ad-icle"

Dehydrated water is ... well, nothing. Dehydrated SALT water is different, obviously.

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Game over for Google: Fortnite snubs Play Store, keeps its 30%, sparks security fears

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Love the cognitive dissonance

You need to read the article again. It says that Apple ‘perfected’ the absolute walled garden approach (in that unless you jailbreak, it’s impossible to circumvent); not that it’s a ‘perfect’ model; and it’s not passing judgement on one or the other. Where did you read Apple good, Google evil?

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: A free to play game

There is. RTA.

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Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Talking to printers is good...

Ahahahahahahahahaha

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: Elphin safety

"I keep a variety of hammers in plain view of all our printing devices."

http://goodomenslexicon.org/articles/crowleys-houseplants/

"Every once in a while, Crowley picks a plant that is not growing too well and carries it around the flat to the other plants, telling them “‘Say goodbye to your friend. He just couldn’t cut it…'”. He then takes the plant out of the flat, and brings home “a large, empty flower pot” which he “leave[s] somewhere conspicuously around the flat”. Because of this, his plants are “the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London”, but “also the most terrified”."

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'Unhackable' Bitfi crypto-currency wallet maker will be shocked to find fingernails exist

Lord Elpuss
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Re: No need to hack anything?

Obligatory

https://xkcd.com/538/

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Lord Elpuss
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Re: First rule of security...

Android sits at both ends of the security scale. Run-of-the-mill unhardened Android like this (and 99.9% of consumer Android devices) offer next to no security. On the other hand, some of the most secure comms handsets also run android - albeit properly hardened and probably unrecognisable to the layperson.

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Toshiba gets NASty: Soups up hi-cap enterprise drive

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Hey Mamr

Me too. Fascinating.

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Hot US deal! IBM wins $83m from Groupon in e-commerce patent spat

Lord Elpuss
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Why, because they're standing up for patents they developed and own?

This isn't a patent troll issue.

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Google says Pixel 2's narcoleptic display is being fixed in June update

Lord Elpuss
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@AC You're wrong. Stop making a tit of yourself.

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HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Top astro boffinery

"I hope the bean counters in HPE recognise the importance of stuff like this."

I hope the beancounters in IBM, Dell, Microsoft et al recognise the importance as well. We need a good old tech space race to get things going again. IBM's still banging on about how it's systems took men to the Moon back in the 60s, and how ThinkPads went up with the Shuttle; both amazing to be sure, but if I were looking for a relevant case study I wouldn't want to have to go back 10 years to find one.

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Mega medical tester pester: It smacked a big one, that malware scam, if indeed it was SamSam

Lord Elpuss
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Re: is it so hard....

Technically speaking it isn't that hard - but you have to (a) know the vulnerable point exists in order to harden it, and (b) not have a PHB sitting somewhere who insists that he 'must' have outside access to a system even though he keeps forgetting his password and tripping the lockout, then commanding the infosec guys to leave it unprotected.

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Declassified files reveal how pre-WW2 Brits smashed Russian crypto

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Paranoia and hot pockets

@Milton

Upvote purely for your writing style :D

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Mmm, yes. 11-nines data durability? Mmmm, that sounds good. Except it's virtually meaningless

Lord Elpuss
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Re: "acts of God"

Dear bobsmith2016

With the greatest respect, ODFO.

People believe what they want to believe - and that is their right. It's not your business, or anybody else's, to dictate what YOU believe and/or to disparage their faith. By the same token, you can believe/disbelieve whatever you like - just don't go around imposing it on others.

From a proof perspective, believers can't prove what they believe in (at least - not in a way that you would accept), and YOU can't prove the opposite. You're no more 'right' than they are.

PS 'Act of God' is these days a generic - like 'Hoover' or 'Google'. It's used in legal, formal and semi-formal contexts as a synonym for 'Something over which we have no control', and implies no particular 'belief'.

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Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Lord Elpuss
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Thanks Simon! Very best of luck in your new endeavours.

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British Airways' latest Total Inability To Support Upwardness of Planes* caused by Amadeus system outage

Lord Elpuss
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Re: weight calculation

I think I know your friend Dave - he lives in my spare bedroom

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Code of conduct claims new Texas Instruments CEO after just six weeks

Lord Elpuss
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Surely can't be as mundane as

Dipping his pen in the company ink?

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Kremlin hacking crew went on a 'Roman Holiday' – researchers

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Dephi?

Upvote for the Verity reference :D

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'Fibre broadband' should mean glass wires poking into your router, reckons Brit survey

Lord Elpuss
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Re: Hyperoptic

"They most certainly DO NOT install a whopping great 200 port enterprise router in the basement. ;-)"

They might. Depends on what the punters there are paying.

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Scam alert: No, hackers don't have webcam vids of you enjoying p0rno. Don't give them any $$s

Lord Elpuss
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"I've never been anywhere near an adult site and most likely never will..."

Uhhuh.

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AR upstart Magic Leap reveals majorly late tech specs' tech specs

Lord Elpuss
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Re: so it's hololense

What's this got to do with Apple?

Fandroids gotta hate I guess.

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Cops suspect Detroit fuel station was hacked before 10 drivers made off with 2.3k 'free' litres

Lord Elpuss
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"Don't image that energy cost in Europe is that much more expensive than California."

It may not be. But the tax is a killer...

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