* Posts by John 110

316 posts • joined 10 Aug 2009

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FTC urged to probe easily penetrated telly-enabled teledildonic toy

John 110
Joke

Re: Pen test

"Thumbs up icon because thumbs don't have cameras."

except on the tokyo subway...

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Have we got a new, hip compound IT phrase for you! Enter... UserDev

John 110
FAIL

Re: So, basically, talk to your customer?

No, talk to the people who work for your customer - important distinction, made several times already...

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Troll it your way: Burger King ad tries to hijack Google Home gadgets

John 110
Coat

Am I the only one...

... worried that Google has the ability to amend the search function of the device remotely?

Not worried exactly, because I won't have one, but it strikes me as not too different from Amazon's ability to edit the content of your Kindle.

Wait, just realised it does it at the server, not the client. Sorry I'm a bit slow this friday morning.

What? It's thursday?! damn!!!

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Eric S. Raymond says you probably fit one of eight tech archetypes

John 110

Re: Attempting to pigeonhole people has a major issue.

@Long John Brass

"You MONSTER!!!

Plastic is NOT biodegradable"

Future generations, combing refuse heaps for resources, will be glad of a bit of plastic (especially a tupperware* box filled with organic goodness...)

*Other kind of boxes could prove useful - really useful

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Blimey, did you know? It's World Backup Day. But... surely every day is world backup day?

John 110
Mushroom

If

If it's World Backup day, then surely we should be making arrangements to store some of the Human Race and associated support network off-planet so we can reinstall in the event of catastrophic failure...

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New plastic banknote plans now upsetting environmental campaigners

John 110
Coat

WWF

Maybe the WWF are worried that they won't have enough oil to grease all those hunky wrestlers. They have to start rubbing them down with fivers...

(I thought they did that anyway...)

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Why do GUIs jump around like a demented terrier while starting up? Am I on my own?

John 110

Re: The ultimate example

You forgot that cheerful little jingle that Windows plays during startup that is supposed to indicate that Windows is finished loading. It LIES!!! OK maybe Windows is finished, but all the other crap that insists needs loading before you can do anything is still churning away for another 5 minutes. If you do crack and click on something, it never appears, so you click it again and get chided for trying to run stuff twice... aaargh

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John 110

Re: Read more

"Progress bars that are just an illusion are my pet hate. When it gets to 100% then just starts again. Worse than pointless."

Are you talking about Business Objects?

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It's happening! It's happening! W3C erects DRM as web standard

John 110

Re: If you can see it or hear it

"I think it's primarily intended to annoy pirates!"

It won't annoy organised pirates, because they can afford a solution to circumvent DRM in bulk, It won't annoy casual downloaders, because they get their DRM-free stuff from organised pirates.

It will annoy folk who believe that if they've paid the manufacturer or creator for something, then they have the right to make backup copies to guard against the DRM server being turned off (Zune) or the book they have on their Kindle being withdrawn (1984).

It's usually the little guy that gets screwed by this sort of thing.

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tantrum

John 110

Re: tantrum

Thanks Jake,

I see I'm going to have to try harder (ie, do less work at work...)

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John 110

tantrum

My "public posts have been upvoted 1337 times" does not this make me special enough for a badge? Please! Pleeeaaase!

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BOFH: Don't back up in anger

John 110

@Phil W

That'll be all of them then...

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Time crystals really do exist, say physicists*

John 110
Happy

Right, I need...

...to get me some of those for my flux capacitor

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User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work

John 110

Re: Ah yes indeed.

The NHS have standardised pay throughout. That means that you can't pay good IT staff extra to make them stay, so they keep getting lured away by the bright lights. I assum gov agencies are the same...

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John 110

Notepad++ surely?

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Google to Chrome-plate our shops with creepy mood-sensing AI signs

John 110

SURELY...

"You look down – why not buy some stuff to cheer yourself up?"

COMPU-TEACH:

Posit: you are living in a stagnant, declining civilisation. Where are you looking?

PUPIL:

Down.

COMPU-TEACH:

What do you see?

PUPIL:

My shoes.

COMPU-TEACH:

Correct! What do you do to cheer yourself up?

PUPIL:

Uhm… press the button?

COMPU-TEACH:

Incorrect! Think again. Your world is a depressing place; you are looking at your shoes. How do you cheer yourself up?

PUPIL:

I buy a new pair.

COMPU-TEACH:

Correct!

PUPIL:

Can I press the button?

COMPU-TEACH:

All right.

[Button is pressed. A surge of energy]

PUPIL:

Wa-ho! So nice.

Douglas Adams

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Prisoners' 'innovative' anti-IMSI catcher defence was ... er, tinfoil

John 110

Re: Ready for the down votes, but...

You probably shouldn't be reliant on mobile phone technology for ambulance calls anyway, especially in the house.

Am I the only person who has a good old fashioned powered-from-the-network plugin phone for emergencies?

(we need a luddite icon)

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I want it hot and wet – preferably with Wi-Fi

John 110

I am old school

I like just white coffee. My youngest, who is a gamesmaster (Known for: World Weaving, storytelling and rambling rants, according to the website...) and a part time barista hates people like me...

I'm also Luddite enough not to need charging sockets (ooh, that sounds a bit cyberpunk)

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'At least I can walk away with my dignity' – Streetmap founder after Google lawsuit loss

John 110

Re: I'm in two minds

Bad example.

If M&S offered a clothing search engine then showed their own offering even though your query clearly indicated that you wanted Ben Sherman, then I might agree with you. The screenshot in the article where it even offered to correct the spelling just indicates vindictiveness.

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Get it while it's hot: NASA's Space Poo contest winners wipe up $30k

John 110
Pint

Trickle down...

The technology!! Quiet at the back!!!

Think of the benefits to parents once this technology is ploughshared for civilian use. You might never need to change your infant (unless there's a P in the month...sorry)

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Vivaldi and me: Just browsing? Nah, I'm sold

John 110
Windows

Luddite here

I really want to like Vivaldi (long term opera user here), but snappy though it is, I don't like the flat interface paradigm. Oh and call me old-fashioned, but I like bookmarks in a proper menu.

Oh, and +1 for Pale Moon (where I went when opera chromified)

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Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

John 110

Bill Bailey or Paul Hollywood (he could stare down a Dalek singlehanded)

Or I could probably free up some time in my schedule...

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Tablets become feebleslabs as sales spiral down

John 110

Re: Was thinking about this the other day...

@jason 7

I replaced my Nexus 7 with an Nvidia K1.

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Huzzah! Doctor Who comes to Playmoverse

John 110
Alien

Well I liked...

Sylvester McCoy. The look of scottish glee on his face when he tricked the daleks into wiping themselves out was priceless.

I think the next series was going to be brilliant.

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Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

John 110

Re: No quite wizadry but...

I have a stick with a nail in it -- for fishing cables out from under desks, obviously...

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Corrupt NHS official jailed for £80k bribe over tech contract

John 110

Re: Having seen the latest NHS IT Software in action

@vic

That's because some staff are there because they actually WANT to help patients, something that the NHS relies on to function.

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Support chap's Sonic Screwdriver fixes PC as user fumes in disbelief

John 110

Re: How I miss CRT's

I hated mine. I had to sneak into the next-door lab after hours and move a waterbath away from the connecting wall. Damn thing's stirrer motor was making my monitor pulse and giving me migraines.

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John 110

Re: Nice one, "Baker" !

Getting the brains out of the keyboard is a bugger!!

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Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

John 110

Re: Slightly off topic

We had a guy that DESPERATELY needed Dragon Dictate (this was the 90s). Before it would even install his PC needed a new soundcard (and a set of quality speakers) and a microphone, lots more memory and an extra big HD -- then it installed but wouldn't run so he needed new PC. Then he "didn't have time" to train it. So he went back to dictating stuff onto tape and getting his secretary to type it.

He also needed one of those desks where the monitor (90s - the monitor was the size of a minibus) sits underneath a glass section of the desktop. Then a bigger monitor because it was now too far away to read, then he still couldn't see it because his desk was covered in paper...

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OpenStreetView? You are no longer hostage to Google's car-driven vision

John 110

Re: Privacy?

Why bother?

Anyone walking past can get a better view of your house than on streetview(s) of any description, and if they are actually in your street, they can see if you're in or not before attempting to nick your stuff.

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I was a robot and this is what I learned

John 110

Re: Mobility

Besides, as my wheelchair-using wife would tell you, wheelchairs and crowded halls don't go together. You can't see over people, (you spend the event looking at more groins than you might be comfortable with) the push handles emasculate anyone you reverse into and you can't get close enough to a booth to actually see anything. Oh and it's hard to handle a drink and a wheelchair. She ends up sitting in a corner relying on people coming to her.

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Take that, creationists: Boffins witness birth of new species in the lab

John 110
FAIL

Wonderful...

...because creating new species of virus in the lab is a great idea! Has nobody here played Resident Evil?

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Loyalty card? Really? Why data-slurping store cards need a reboot

John 110

Re: Part way there already

If I'm already fishing about for my phone, I might as well just scan the dangling thingy (ooer missus) on my car keys. Actually my car keys are easier to find than my phone, what with them digging into my leg an all. And I don't have to press any buttons and enter a code onto the lock screen before I can run the app...

(what is thees obsession with the mobile phone...)

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Drops the mic... Hang on, hackers could be listening through my headphones?

John 110
Joke

I think I'll just.....

...muffle these here microphones with me ears...

bootnote: Use your search engine of choice to google (oops) "exploding head syndrome"

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Going shopping for a BSOD? We've found 'em in store at M&S

John 110

Re: Not for sale

Especially in Dundee, where they used to make them... (and where they used to "fall off the back of lorries" regularly)

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US citizens crash Canadian immigration site after Trump victory

John 110

Re: and we thought brexit was a bloody stupid decision

@christoph

I thought you were going to post https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7eCUEfb7U0

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Smartmobe made 'intermittent bright flashes and a hissing noise' in Biz class seat

John 110

Re: My phone gets switched off before boarding

"...I tend to have a small tablet or a Kindle to entertain me..."

I use a device consisting of thin flexible pages bound together in cardboard sheets. The pages have markings that are read by an organic optical reading system, and are decoded by an organic matrix that doesn't often blow up.

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BlackBerry DTEK60: An elegant flagship for grown-ups

John 110
IT Angle

...garden...

It's no worse than mine...

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Virtual reality is actually made of smartphones

John 110

Missing the point

I think folk are missing the point here. It's not the smartphone per se that's the great invention, it's the need to miniaturize all sorts of cameras, microphones sensors etc enough to fit into the form factor and make them at an affordable price that's the breakthrough. Do you really think we'd have seen (for example) the camera drone revolution without the small, high quality bits of kit originally developed for phones?

But no, I wouldn't credit Jobs. My fliptop alcatel had a decent camera that foreshadowed just what you could achieve when you can stuff kit into a pocket-sized device.

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Early indications show UK favouring 'hard Brexit', says expert

John 110
Joke

Re: "how we label our food"

@Dan 55

"I wouldn't know a pound if it hit me on the bloody head and neither does anyone under 50ish"

It's 240 pennies...

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John 110

Re: "Great Repeal Bill"

"I wake every day hoping I'll wake up in hospital with a kindly psychiatrist saying "Well, that was one hell of a delusion you had there wasn't it?", but sadly so far the nightmare continues..."

+1

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Stripped of its galaxy, this black hole is wandering naked in the cosmos

John 110

What a relief...

"so I suppose dark matter has its own internal dynamics which keep it from the event horizon."

I can stop worrying about it then. What's dark matter again?

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User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

John 110

Re: Plugs....

"In general they seem to agree that the way a USB A socket goes is such that the USB symbol on the plug is uppermost. "

Unless you have a Dell PC. The ones we have at work (ie quite old...) have the USB sockets on the front of the case "upsidedown"

Who cares what way up the back ones are, you always have to rotate the plug several times to get them to fit.

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John 110

Plugs....

I knew an IT lady who didn't like to embarrass people, soft-hearted soul that she was. When phoned with an obvious "it's not powered on" problem, she would explain that they've had a batch of faulty 3-pin plugs, and can the user check the serial number on the one they have. Miraculously, the problem cleared itself!

We had one user who managed to consistently plug in the "printer end" usb plug 90 degrees wrong. It doesn't help of course that device manufacturers can't seem to agree what way up the sockets go...

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Sinclair fans rejoice: ZX Spectrum Vega+ to launch October 20

John 110
Mushroom

Re: Hmmmm...

I'm sure all Elite fans have seen Oolite (http://www.oolite.org/). If not then you should.

It was gratifying to see that my computerless docking skills were still there!

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If we can't fix this printer tonight, the bank's core app will stop working

John 110

Re: Meh! -

Speaking as a stroppy fecker in a Pathology lab, I can assure you that as a non-patient facing service (ie not important) we have to sometimes stress that patients might die if they don't get their results.

As IT support for 40 other stroppy fecker in a Microbiology lab (being told we're Pathogy is intensely irritating, but a matter for another day), I can feel your pain. I regularly have to sort caps-lock password problems. The LIMS we use needs you to switch on caps-lock once you're logged in, unfortunately our users generally change their passwords after they've put caps on, then next time, they lock themselves out by forgetting they used caps lock the last time.

I'm going to thumbs-up you anyway, because I've been on both sides of that fence...

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That Public Health study? No, it didn't say 'don't do chemo'

John 110

Re: UK Big Data boffins not up to the task?

@Wupspups

I had to think before replying to this one because I didn't want to take away from the emotive and important message about cancer treatment that the Reg is putting across here.

Anyway...

Certain groups of UK medical researchers have shown that they are perfectly capable of manipulating the data in their studies to make claims about treatment that are not shown to be valid when the data used to support those claims is examined by other interested parties.

Further, certain reputable UK journals have colluded in this both explicitly by publishing misleading findings (and releasing press releases which publicize those findings) and implicitly by not calling out the perpetrators.

The details are a bit long and convoluted for here but looking here https://jcoynester.wordpress.com/ and here http://www.virology.ws/2015/10/22/trial-by-error-ii/ and searching out "PACE trial" with your engine of choice will give a bit of background.

This sort of scandal is sadly not rare and our press is willing to pull any interpretation out of trial write-ups that will up the reading figures and further their own political agenda (see current NHS reporting for examples).

What I'm trying to convey here is that I've personally lost faith in all science reporting, both in the media (who seem to go out of their way to get it wrong) and the journals.

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USBee stings air-gapped PCs: Wirelessly leak secrets with a file write

John 110

Re: Not a bee

Oh I think it is, what kind of IT expert are you...

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Height of stupidity: Heathrow airliner buzzed by drone at 7,000ft

John 110
Flame

Re: Am I wrong in thinking that if ..

Yeah but the fact that I plane _might_ survive a drone strike doesn't mean that it's not incredibly stupid to precipitate one...

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