...I want proper monster munch...
and Wagon Wheels the size of your head
Posts by John 110
343 posts • joined 10 Aug 2009
Microsoft ctrl-Zs 'killing' Paint, by which we mean offering naff app through Windows Store
NHS trusts splashed £260m on PCs in last four years
NHS consultants
In Scotland at least, NHS consultants are employed by the Health Board, but they "opted out" of Agenda for Change when everybody else had this foisted on them.
Certain (most?) Managers are also paid outwith the Agenda for Change structure.
Consultants and managers are expensive.
IT staff on the other hand are dead cheap... Wait, I think I see where your IT problem comes from...
UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren
Re: Will they also ban ads...
There's evidence to suggest that humans are attracted to things that smell like themselves, so spraying their crap on your body might be a great way to attract a woman.
Might be quite specific though.
And there is the problem of the VERY niche demographic mentioned elsewhere
Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in
Adult toy retailer slapped down for 'RES-ERECTI*N' ad over Easter
Re: 2 Wrongs make a right here I think
"Its offensive to me that I must treat people who claim to believe in a sky fairy with respect and not ridicule."
I think you'll find that you're the one that mentioned "sky fairy".
Unless believers are either helping or harming you, you're under no obligation to either respect or ridicule them.
Respect is a basic human right, and should only be withheld for good reason.
That you feel you are allowed to ridicule folk who don't subscribe to your worldview is probably reason enough to allow me to withhold my respect.
But I wouldn't dream of ridiculing you (without checking out all your posts first)
/rant
Slower US F-35A purchases piles $27bn onto total fighter jet bill
Re: and yet...
Thanks for the lucid explanations of how business works, guys.
(did I forget the :joke alert: icon...)
and yet...
...when sales of Surface flagged, Microsoft cut the price. I don't understand business...
Just in time for summer boozing: Boffins smash world record for the most perfect ice cubes
Re: most perfect
Maybe a mixture with some mixtures having more perfect cubes than others?
Re: Ice Wars
"You can't put ice in scotch!"
Not in a proper single malt you can't, but it enhances a crappy scotch (you know who you are...) and makes it almost drinkable.
On the couch with an AI robo-doc asking me personal questions
Re: Let me couch this in simple terms ...
Scottish mother (They're all battleaxes).
It's a settee. (I want to spell out "Full stop" there, but that would be overly aggressive)
TfL, WTH is my bus? London looks up from its mobile
Demand stops...
"Some stops require you to signal the driver if you want the bus to stop. That involves spotting the particular service bus that you want in time to stick your arm out."
Not useful if you're checking your phone for the bustimes...
(Yes I was...)
Re: There, there children. Sorry your pacifier is b0rken.
"I always thought the elderly had a built in radar signal as they always seemed to turn up at the bus stop just before the bus would turn up."
A) only if you are in a hurry
B) they have an app on their hearing aid
Boffins' five eyes surprise: Bees correct colour for ambient light
Re: Interesting Science
(The traditional method is to have an attractive assistant hold a grey card in the appropriate spot.)
or spots if you're really lucky...
Extreme trainspotting on Britain's highest (and windiest) railway
Re: Reasonable compromise
"the transport network needed to accommodate visitors and suppliers"
Pfft! Have you been there? Network.. (giggles to self)
Blighty's Department for Culture, Media & Sport gets 'digital' rebrand
Re: Well, I'm still not much the wiser
According to this Twitter thingy (https://twitter.com/i/moments/881841500618977280), it's the Department of Digital, Culture Media, and Sport.
In a previous life, I was a Virologist. I used Culture media extensively, but as the world turned and we no longer kill monkeys for their kidneys, culture media doesn't take up huge amounts of space in Virology labs' coldrooms.
It makes perfect sense that a new Government department should be created for this obsolescent technology...
Ubuntu 'weaponised' to cure NHS of its addiction to Microsoft Windows
Re: Pipe Dream
I'm not sure why somebody downvoted you for this comment. I don't always see eye to eye with you on other things, but this time you're spot on.
Have an upvote.
"Those machines running xp , are probably doing so because they have cheap software on that the developer didnt feel the need to upgrade to W7 "
Those machines running xp , are probably doing so because they have eyewateringly expensive software on that the developer didnt feel the need to upgrade to W7
There FTFY
BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee
Re: It's all true...
"You mean you didn't take revenge by checking every reference and hyperlink and complaining about the errors - one complaint per week."
I considered it, but settled for dropping hints to a nit-picky colleague as to where the errors were. That way I wasn't the petty one...
It's all true...
I had control of the handbook wrested from me* because someone objected to the font I'd used.
Footnote: I say "wrested". In one way I was glad to give it up, it was a bugger of a yearly job because I always made sure I'd checked all the references and hyperlinks in it, and then when it was published to the Intranet, some twonk would say "oh I meant to get you to...".
But my pride was dented by having it removed from me...
Humanity uploaded an AI to Mars and lets it shoot rocks with lasers
From landslide to buried alive: Why 2017 election forecasts weren't wrong
Scottish clarification from one who was there.
"Compare Scotland, where General Election 2017 saw an electorate seeking to punish what some saw as an out-of-touch SNP administration"
I suppose it's too late (and nobody not Scottish cares anyway) to point out that Conservatives won seats in Scotland, not because of the out-of-touchness of SNP, but because the Tories and Labour (and LibDem) campaigned, not on their policies but by insisting that the only way to prevent another Independence Referendum was to unseat SNP.
All this despite the fact that the plans for another referendum were passed by the Scottish Parliament at Holyrood by 69 votes against 59 the day before Theresa May triggered Article 50.
Attempt at building kinder, gentler Reddit downvoted off the Web
Bye bye MP3: You sucked the life out of music. But vinyl is just as warped
Never mind blind tests...
"Well encoded MP3s can sound virtually indistinguishable from the original CDs in blind tests..."
What about deaf tests? My ears haven't been the same since I went to see Purple on the Caird Hall in 1974 (supported by Elf). The only way I can get the best out of music these days is like that bloke in the Pratchett quote up there ^ somewhere...
UK hospital meltdown after ransomware worm uses NSA vuln to raid IT
Re: Using Windows?
"Aw, come on! The NHS is a large enough customer that if they wanted it on a Linux or BSD system the supplier would do the port."
The NHS is, but bits of the NHS aren't, software running microtitre plate readers for Lab tests is quite specialized and there just aren't that many labs in the NHS in the UK. It took us forever to get a version that would run under Windows 7.
I think you'll find that replicated across many machines and services.
Waiter? There's a mouse in my motherboard and this server is greasy!
Re: Frog
That'll be part of the ritual sacrifice that got the network working. (A rejected part, the gods of the Ether are picky about what they'll accept....)
FTC urged to probe easily penetrated telly-enabled teledildonic toy
Re: Pen test
"Thumbs up icon because thumbs don't have cameras."
except on the tokyo subway...
Have we got a new, hip compound IT phrase for you! Enter... UserDev
Re: So, basically, talk to your customer?
No, talk to the people who work for your customer - important distinction, made several times already...
Troll it your way: Burger King ad tries to hijack Google Home gadgets
Am I the only one...
... worried that Google has the ability to amend the search function of the device remotely?
Not worried exactly, because I won't have one, but it strikes me as not too different from Amazon's ability to edit the content of your Kindle.
Wait, just realised it does it at the server, not the client. Sorry I'm a bit slow this friday morning.
What? It's thursday?! damn!!!
Eric S. Raymond says you probably fit one of eight tech archetypes
Re: Attempting to pigeonhole people has a major issue.
@Long John Brass
"You MONSTER!!!
Plastic is NOT biodegradable"
Future generations, combing refuse heaps for resources, will be glad of a bit of plastic (especially a tupperware* box filled with organic goodness...)
*Other kind of boxes could prove useful - really useful
Blimey, did you know? It's World Backup Day. But... surely every day is world backup day?
If
If it's World Backup day, then surely we should be making arrangements to store some of the Human Race and associated support network off-planet so we can reinstall in the event of catastrophic failure...
New plastic banknote plans now upsetting environmental campaigners
WWF
Maybe the WWF are worried that they won't have enough oil to grease all those hunky wrestlers. They have to start rubbing them down with fivers...
(I thought they did that anyway...)
Why do GUIs jump around like a demented terrier while starting up? Am I on my own?
Re: The ultimate example
You forgot that cheerful little jingle that Windows plays during startup that is supposed to indicate that Windows is finished loading. It LIES!!! OK maybe Windows is finished, but all the other crap that insists needs loading before you can do anything is still churning away for another 5 minutes. If you do crack and click on something, it never appears, so you click it again and get chided for trying to run stuff twice... aaargh
Re: Read more
"Progress bars that are just an illusion are my pet hate. When it gets to 100% then just starts again. Worse than pointless."
Are you talking about Business Objects?
It's happening! It's happening! W3C erects DRM as web standard
Re: If you can see it or hear it
"I think it's primarily intended to annoy pirates!"
It won't annoy organised pirates, because they can afford a solution to circumvent DRM in bulk, It won't annoy casual downloaders, because they get their DRM-free stuff from organised pirates.
It will annoy folk who believe that if they've paid the manufacturer or creator for something, then they have the right to make backup copies to guard against the DRM server being turned off (Zune) or the book they have on their Kindle being withdrawn (1984).
It's usually the little guy that gets screwed by this sort of thing.
tantrum
Re: tantrum
Thanks Jake,
I see I'm going to have to try harder (ie, do less work at work...)
tantrum
My "public posts have been upvoted 1337 times" does not this make me special enough for a badge? Please! Pleeeaaase!
BOFH: Don't back up in anger
Time crystals really do exist, say physicists*
User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work
Re: Ah yes indeed.
The NHS have standardised pay throughout. That means that you can't pay good IT staff extra to make them stay, so they keep getting lured away by the bright lights. I assum gov agencies are the same...
Google to Chrome-plate our shops with creepy mood-sensing AI signs
SURELY...
"You look down – why not buy some stuff to cheer yourself up?"
COMPU-TEACH:
Posit: you are living in a stagnant, declining civilisation. Where are you looking?
PUPIL:
Down.
COMPU-TEACH:
What do you see?
PUPIL:
My shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct! What do you do to cheer yourself up?
PUPIL:
Uhm… press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
Incorrect! Think again. Your world is a depressing place; you are looking at your shoes. How do you cheer yourself up?
PUPIL:
I buy a new pair.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct!
PUPIL:
Can I press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
All right.
[Button is pressed. A surge of energy]
PUPIL:
Wa-ho! So nice.
Douglas Adams
Prisoners' 'innovative' anti-IMSI catcher defence was ... er, tinfoil
Re: Ready for the down votes, but...
You probably shouldn't be reliant on mobile phone technology for ambulance calls anyway, especially in the house.
Am I the only person who has a good old fashioned powered-from-the-network plugin phone for emergencies?
(we need a luddite icon)
I want it hot and wet – preferably with Wi-Fi
I am old school
I like just white coffee. My youngest, who is a gamesmaster (Known for: World Weaving, storytelling and rambling rants, according to the website...) and a part time barista hates people like me...
I'm also Luddite enough not to need charging sockets (ooh, that sounds a bit cyberpunk)
'At least I can walk away with my dignity' – Streetmap founder after Google lawsuit loss
Re: I'm in two minds
Bad example.
If M&S offered a clothing search engine then showed their own offering even though your query clearly indicated that you wanted Ben Sherman, then I might agree with you. The screenshot in the article where it even offered to correct the spelling just indicates vindictiveness.
Get it while it's hot: NASA's Space Poo contest winners wipe up $30k
Trickle down...
The technology!! Quiet at the back!!!
Think of the benefits to parents once this technology is ploughshared for civilian use. You might never need to change your infant (unless there's a P in the month...sorry)
Vivaldi and me: Just browsing? Nah, I'm sold
Luddite here
I really want to like Vivaldi (long term opera user here), but snappy though it is, I don't like the flat interface paradigm. Oh and call me old-fashioned, but I like bookmarks in a proper menu.
Oh, and +1 for Pale Moon (where I went when opera chromified)
Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord
Bill Bailey or Paul Hollywood (he could stare down a Dalek singlehanded)
Or I could probably free up some time in my schedule...
