* Posts by Jock in a Frock

108 posts • joined 5 Aug 2009

Page:

There's a scarily good 'deepfakes' YouTube channel that's quietly growing – and it's freaking everyone out

Jock in a Frock

Uncanny Valley

Brad Pitt looks dead behind the eyes in that Fight Club clip.

So I for one think this technology has been perfected.

What do a meth, coke, molly, heroin stash and Vegas allegedly have in common? Broadcom cofounder Henry Nicolas

Jock in a Frock

Re: Seems like a good idea...

John McAfee - "I've spent a fortune on drugs and hookers"

Nicholas - "Hold my beer...."

Sysadmin shut down server, it went ‘Clunk!’ but the app kept running

Jock in a Frock

Re: Label, Label Label

Nope, we're still scratching our heads.....

Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

Jock in a Frock

Re: Work Experience

Was posted to a sleepy RAF unit in Bedfordshire in June '88. Guard duty consisted of leaving the vehicle barrier open from 7am to 9pm, and drinking tea and watching telly. Mill Hill bombing on 1st August changed all that. Suddenly we had to close the barrier, start to run out barbed wire barriers around the entire unit (that's right, it was all open before that!), and wander around with pick-axe handles until top brass could ship some proper SLR rifles to us. Also banned us from wearing uniform off camp. I was disgusted that we were made to hide away like that. Felt like the IRA had won a victory and cowed us into submission.

Router admin? Bored? Let's play Battleships using BGP!

Jock in a Frock

Re: On a ten-by-ten playing field?

Do it while cooking a BBQ

Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

Jock in a Frock

Re: Seems like a good idea...

I serviced Creed T150 teleprinters in the R.A.F. We had an instructor with a dent in his forehead, received when he was fixing one. He had removed the airbrake (yes, really), from the carriage return, then fired the print carriage into his head. It probably weighed about a kilogram and was made of cast iron.

BART barfs, racers crash, and other classic BSODs

Jock in a Frock

Re: GSM?

London Midland have a Vodafone solution, usually using BT DSL links to the wallboards and ticket machines / offices.

NASA starts countdown for Cassini probe's Saturn death dive

Jock in a Frock

F'narrr

"Probe Dump"

You can be my wingman any time! RaspBerry Pi AI waxes Air Force top gun's tail in dogfights

Jock in a Frock

Impressive...

... but can it run away in a Crysis ?

Too Naked for the Nazis streaks to literary glory

Jock in a Frock

How about 'The Perfect Brazilian' by Anita Bush?

Helpdesk? I have a software problem. And a GRIZZLY BEAR problem

Jock in a Frock

Good for some overtime

I had a squirrel get into one of my network POPs one weekend. It continually set off the PIR intruder alarm, resulting in a call out for me to reset the system. Made a fortune that weekend.

Does anyone know what their broadband costs? The ASA hopes to change that

Jock in a Frock

Free!!!!

My broadband costs nothing, nada, zilch, zero, bugger all. No line rental, no call costs, no hidden extras

The perks of working for a telco. :)

The designer of the IBM ThinkPad has died

Jock in a Frock

Lenovo have lost the plot

My work provided Lenovo L440 has some serious design faults. No Caps Lock LED, no HDD activity light, Fn Lock behaviour erratic, poor quality hinges

Bring back my Toughbook CF-71.

NZ unfurls proposed new flag

Jock in a Frock

Re: Typical

+1 for the word 'hemisphereans'

How to solve a Rubik's Cube in five seconds

Jock in a Frock

My best was 43 seconds, fastest in my school. There were only a couple of other guys who could solve it, and it took them well over 10 minutes.

I used to have everyone coming to me at break times to solve their cubes for them. I was doing dozens of cubes a day. At one point I developed RSI and a swollen index finger. My doctor and my mum banned me from the cube for a while.

I can still solve it, but takes me probably about 2-3 minutes now.

Kudos to these speed freaks.

Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

Jock in a Frock

My wife is a midwife, and has heard a few crackers. One couple called their kid Rogan Josh

Seriously, what's wrong with some poeple?

Company in shambles, marriages ruined. My work here is done, says Ashley Madison CEO

Jock in a Frock

I hope the Feds are seizing and monitoring the assets of ALM and all the top execs. I have a horrible feeling they will be busy obfuscating their finances in a way to avoid liability once the lawsuits start to land.

A horrible company, started by an odious individual, aiming to fleece the gullible, with no concern for the emotional trauma left in its wake.

In redneck heaven, internet outages are the American Way

Jock in a Frock

Happens here in the U.K.

We have some overhead fibres atop the National Grid network, and routinely get shotgun damage on a section between Plymouth and Exeter near a clay pigeon shooting range.

10 things you need to avoid SNAFUs in your data centre

Jock in a Frock

Cable labelling

I see people label one end of a cable with the local end details, not the far end (and the same at the other end!)

We now mandate that the label at both ends has details of both ends.

Spy: Acres of comedy talent make this smart spook spoof an instant classic

Jock in a Frock

Re: Saw it last night

And how do you do Snapchat?

Mondeo Man turns into mutant electrical beauty: Ford Mondeo Hybrid

Jock in a Frock

Not a hybrid, but....

... I have a 1.6 TDCi Hatchback on order in Ruby Red, should be with me in June. Can't wait, the car looks stunning. Budget wouldn't stretch to the 2.0L diesel, but I'm happy with the fuel economy figures, and anyway, me and the missus need to slow down a bit as we get older!

Tesco broadband goes TITSUP, world keeps turning on wobbly-wheeled trolley

Jock in a Frock
Mushroom

Unexpected JCB in the digging area . . . .

Are you sure there are servers in this cold, dark basement?

Jock in a Frock

I work for a telco as a Field Engineer. I got called to a shared office block in Bristol to investigate why our rack in the basement was off the air. The basement had 2 feet of shit floating around, and it had taken out our power and battery backup.

The customer wanted me to hose it down and re-power it within 2 hours!

Wham! NASA claims 'picture-perfect' blast-off for tricky MAGNETIC EXPLOSIONS mission

Jock in a Frock

+1 for Elite Dangerous reference

HSBC Turkey WON'T reissue cards despite 2.7 MILLION account details going AWOL

Jock in a Frock

Surely it would be de rigeur for HSBC to replace the cards? How much would it cost? Isn't the bad publicity going to cost them more? For a few quid they could also produce a TV commercial saying how seriously they took security (apart from letting the data out of the door in the first place).

Turn OFF your phone or WE'LL ALL DI... live? Europe OKs mobes, tabs non-stop on flights

Jock in a Frock

Ban the voice!

It's about time that the myth was busted over safety concerns. If there was *EVER* the possibility that a PED could have downed an aircraft, they would *NEVER* have been permitted on board. They would have been confiscated at security.

Glad that we're coming round to getting onboard wifi, but I would hate to have 50% of my fellow passengers calling their mates. Let's have data, but no voice.

Microsoft splurges 2½ INSTAGRAMS buying Minecraft maker Mojang

Jock in a Frock

Here you go

http://www.planetminecraft.com/project/blue-screen-of-death-1220098/

BAT-GOBBLING urban SPIDER QUEENS swell to ENORMOUS SIZE

Jock in a Frock

More importantly...

What were the researchers relatives doing in the bush?

Jock in a Frock

Jeez, what an unlucky rabbit

I expect it had also just broken up with its girlfriend.

Jock in a Frock

I think Dyson have missed an opportunity here...

There's money to be made by a vacuum manufacturer who includes an insect chopper / mincer in the hose so that it slices'n'dices the offending beastie before it gets into the bag.

New twist as rogue antivirus enters death throes

Jock in a Frock

@gregthecanuck

No, this article is already out of date. Now you need anti-virus anti-virus anti-virus.

Brit balloon bod Bodnar circumnavigates planet

Jock in a Frock

Re: Boffin?

He's already a boffin:

http://www.leobodnar.com/

Sells USB controllers and components for hobbyists (model aircraft / flight sim controllers etc).

Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

Jock in a Frock

Fugly.

Burn it! Burn it with fire!

Military-grade bruiser: Getac F110 rugged tablet... is no iPad

Jock in a Frock

And...

... will it play Crysis ?

El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

Jock in a Frock
Joke

I would laugh my nuts off...

... if the sign saying "I've got a screw loose" - !actually! had a screw loose.

Oh, the iron(monger)y!

Watch Dogs: Eat, sleep, hack, repeat

Jock in a Frock

B+ from me

Playing on a PC, Core i5-3770 @3.1GH\, 8Gb, Radeon HD6770 card with 1Gb VRAM

Definitely a lot of fun, despite the niggles (uPlay, I'm looking at you!). Frame rate could be better. Mouse & Keyboard have been dumped in favour of an Xbox pad (driving with the keyboard & mouse was cr@p).

Looks gorgeous, facial animations and voice acting are sweet.

Vodafone turns to EU, asks it to FORCE 'fair' fibre pricing

Jock in a Frock

From the horses mouth.....

I work for Vodafone as a commissioning engineer installing DWDM fibre products, and I am the Field technical prime engineer for the 4G backhaul network (from BT exchanges back into the Vodafone core). Previously I worked for Cable & Wireless.

What we are talking about here is the BT leased circuits from the 4G cell sites to the BT exchanges (where Vodafone then pick it up). These circuits pre-date the C&W acquisition, and were rated at 100Mbps for 3G networking. We are currently upgrading these cell site links to 1Gbps.

This is not about new fibre digs, it's about upgrading existing links to 1Gbps to cope with 4G demand. Despite acquiring the C&W fibre footprint, we are still dependent on BT (Openreach) for many cell site access circuits.

We are also network sharing with O2 to allow both companies to roll out 4G to as much of the country as quickly as possible. From the BT exchanges, we have multiple 10Gbps DWDM links into the core, which is a meshed 100Gbps MPLS data network, with connections into our own internet backbone.

Personally, I am on a 3G connection, and at home I have seen this improve. We are still upgrading 3G connectivity alongside the 4G rollout (the radio base stations are 3G & 4G simultaneously).

This is a mammoth task, please don't underestimate the size of this project, the money we are investing, and the focus this has within the company. This report looks like we are trying to get the best value for money in the spend with Openreach. I wouldn't expect any other customer to do any different.

So if that shameless plug for my employer doesn't get me a bonus this year, I don't know what will....

BT befriends Google's lonely TV dongle – and saves YouView

Jock in a Frock

S'rAlan didn't make the boxes :-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YouView#Set-top_boxes

Nvidia unveils Pascal, its next-gen GPU with hella-fast interconnects and 3D packaging

Jock in a Frock
Joke

But...

... will it run Crysis?

Ofcom says yes to sat broadband on PLANES (and trains and ships)

Jock in a Frock

Re: I wonder...

"I've had enough of these m&*%$rf&*%$ing trouser snakes on this m&*%$rf&*%$ing plane!"

(C) Samuel Jackson, 2006.

Tech City UK boss legs it, dumps project in lap of BlackBerry exec

Jock in a Frock
Coat

A Roman walks into a bar...

... holds up two fingers, and says "five pints please, barman"

Feds to flog off $28m in Bitcoin from Silk Road drug souk seizure

Jock in a Frock

Has he been convicted yet?

Are the Bitcoins actually his? Can the FBI legally sell them before a conviction?

Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie

Jock in a Frock
Coat

Re: How on earth...

He's a professional athlete, I presume a handstand is within his capabilities.

Ten classic electronic calculators from the 1970s and 1980s

Jock in a Frock

Casio fan here....

I had an uncle (very clever chap), who recognised my knack for maths & computers, bought me my first calculator (basic arithmetic green VFD model, can't find it on t'web), and let me learn programming on his Sharp calculator.

Through my schooling I had a series of Casios (FX82, FX100, FX451 - loved the form factor of that one!). and got a Casio FX7000G for my FE studies.

My son is currently doing GCSE Maths, and I got him a Casio FX-83GT Plus (which his school not only recommend, but sell at a premium!). It's a lovely machine, a throwback to the classics of the '80s. I liked it so much I bought myself one, even though I have no real need of a calculator nowadays.

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Ten tech treats from yesteryear

Jock in a Frock

I never made that connection until I read this article, Glad someone else sees the resemblance too. I guess BioWare also wanted a Big Trak.

Nimble took a sueball to the knee, still rates itself with $1.2bn valuation

Jock in a Frock

I'm no expert on IPO's , hybrid arrays, or NetApp, but I've got to give you 5 stars for the Skyrim reference in the title. :)

Britain’s forgotten first home computer pioneer: John Miller-Kirkpatrick

Jock in a Frock

RE: Telly Tax

No it doesn't, never did.

Xbox One launch date REVEALED - and it's on the 360's birthday

Jock in a Frock

Work to do....

The work remaining to be done is most likely on the OS, and on the XBox Live back-end system. None of that work would require hardware changes.

The console demands a network connection on first power-up, no doubt to dowload last-minute patches to the OS etc.

Give them a cold trouser blast and data centre bosses WILL dial up the juice

Jock in a Frock

This reminds me...

This reminds me of the town of Redditch, where the local council have installed a heat transfer system from the local crematorium to the swimming pool next door.

I always thought that a little cruel to the families of anyone being cremated who met their demise through drowning.

Explicit shots: China's gorgeous flop-tastic Tianhe-2 supercomputer

Jock in a Frock

But..

...will it run Crysis ?

Page:

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019