* Posts by DJV

729 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

Microsoft loves Linux so much, its OneDrive web app runs like a dog on Windows OS rivals

DJV

"It's called prejudice."

Nah, it's called experience...

25
1

Barrister fined after idiot husband slings unencrypted client data onto the internet

DJV

Re: £1,000 fine

"senior barristers can struggle to push through £100k a year"

My heart bleeds...

10
3

Microsoft nicks one more Apple idea: An ad-supported OS

DJV

OneDrive

I tried it for a short while. It failed several times so now the only thing I do with OneDrive on any machine, is to remove or disable it.

11
0

This ONE easy cloud trick is in DANGER. Why?

DJV
Facepalm

"attempt at humor"

Which part of the "Joke Alert" icon next to my post did you fail to see?

Sigh...

1
0
DJV
Joke

Maybe...

Maybe a quicker alternative would be to turn off the system you want to move to the cloud and see who (or what) complains!

4
1

The Psion returns! Meet Gemini, the 21st century pocket computer

DJV
Thumb Up

Magic words!

I see the spec includes the magic words: REMOVABLE BATTERY

Excellent!

Just got my 5MX out to compare the keyboards - they look almost identical.

WANT!

8
0

Roses are red, violets are blue, fake-news-detecting AI is fake news, too

DJV
Joke

"Disagrees: The body text disagrees with the headline."

Muchof El Reg's news content for February 14th 2017 declared fake as the body text didn't mention roses or violets.

6
0

Cattle that fail, not pets that purr – the future of servers

DJV

Planets

"In the 1990s, it was commonplace for the single IT guy to name their servers after planets"

Damn, found out at last!

Well, almost - my WiFi is called Saturn, and many of my servers and computers have named after moons such as Ganymede, Europa, Callisto, Titan (a very big box!) Mimas, Dione, Hyperion, Prometheus, Daphnis, Kari, Pandora, Pallene, Tethys and Enceladus!

Before that some early ones were called Ermintrude (it was a Gateway!) and Zebedee.

1
1

Eee by gum! Aye up, Microsoft, what's tha y' got? Cloud for accents?

DJV

Excellent!

Mash up of the week!

1
0

Super-cool sysadmin fixes PCs with gravity, or his fists

DJV

Re: Early hard drives oftn had this kinfd of fault

Yep, I used to have to do that with my first ever HDD in my Amiga 2000 - the 80MB slab that had originally far too much out of a grand!

1
0

Time Warner Cable, you've 'earned your miserable reputation' – NY Attorney General

DJV

@ecofeco

Maybe the cotton strung between the baked bean cans is in dire need of upgrading to string.

0
0

Terry Pratchett's self-written documentary to be broadcast in 2017

DJV

Re: Clacks

Several of mine as well.

2
0

Black horse blacks out: Lloyds Bank website goes down

DJV

I didn't have a problem with Lloyds...

...but that was mainly because my ISP, Virgin Media, had completely fucked up internet access in my local area for several hours and I could get access to anything!

0
0

It's round and wobbles, but madam, it's a mouse pad, not a floppy disk

DJV

Re: It disappeared...

That reminds me of a story I heard when working with Burroughs/Unisys equipment back in the late 1980s. A customer who had bought a second-hand Burroughs/Unisys B28 system. These came as modular pieces of kit that were clipped together - common modules were CPU, hard disk only and combined hard/floppy. Customer had phoned support because she couldn't get the 5.25" floppy to read after inserting it. Apparently, it was only when the support person asked about whether she'd flipped the floppy drive door shut that it turned out that she couldn't find anything resembling the door catch. It finally dawned on support that she'd been sold a CPU module plus a hard drive only module (no floppy module at all) and had just been slipping the floppy disk in between the CPU and hard drive modules.

There's a pic here of a B28 system (this one DOES include a combined hard/floppy module): https://www.reddit.com/r/retrobattlestations/comments/4wmksf/my_burroughs_b28_aka_convergent_technologies_ngen/

1
0

London's Winter Wonderland URGENTLY seeks Windows 10 desk support

DJV
Trollface

But...

...each time a new Windows version comes out, Microsoft tell us how much better it is compared to the old version. So, shirley by now, it must be absolutely perfect and not need any support as there can't be any downtime or problems of any sort!

42
10

Mirai variant turns TalkTalk routers into zombie botnet agents

DJV

Re: Talk talk said ...

Mainly because they aren't working hard and definitely won't learn any lessons!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-38223805

6
0
DJV

Re: Burn the witch.

She turned me into a newt!

3
0

Half-ton handbuilt CPU heads to Centre for Computing History

DJV

Re: Nice ...

Did a DLX simulator for my 3rd year degree course back in the 90s at UEA - had the works including a pipelined version and a working microcode table. Great fun! They wanted to use it as a tool in part of their teaching - don't think they ever did though...

0
0
DJV
Mushroom

Re: if all the LEDs came on at once

The nearest fuse box would probably do a Galaxy Note 7...

4
0

No spin zone: Samsung recalls 3M EXPLODING washing machines

DJV

Re: Worried Samsung owner.

I have a Samsung fridge-freezer - I'm now worried about putting any curry ready meals in there in case they are too hot for it to handle safely!

2
0

Any questions? No, not you again at the back, please God no

DJV

although I imagine Ryanair might yet put this idea under consideration

You mean they don't do this already?

6
0

Want to spy on the boss? Try this phone-mast-in-an-HP printer

DJV

Yep

They're telling you it's time to install something like Adblock!

3
0

Aussie trams equivalent to 30 skateboarding rhinos

DJV
Mushroom

"120 cycling Boris Johnsons"

Shudder - one's more than enough!

1
0

Newly discovered cave-dwelling creepy-crawly is four times the man* you are

DJV

Re: 4 times the pleasure

Well, fuck me (cubed)!

0
0
DJV

"That really caught my eye"

Dangerous! Those four penises will have your eye out if you don't "watch" it!

0
0

Meet the slimeballs who are openly sabotaging Virgin Media

DJV

"Unless the snails are migrating using Virgin cabling?"

Probably, as they usually go by train.

2
0

Wow, everyone loves our drives, says Seagate sitting on a pile o' cash

DJV

Likewise

Having been burnt once, and seen too many others being burnt, I have avoided Seagate drives for years.

2
0

Windows 10 market share fell in September

DJV
Joke

Yep, mine say I'm running Lynx on a Commodore Vic-20.

7
0

Sudden explosion in reports of exploding phones

DJV
Thumb Up

Re: Okay... let me be the first to ask...

As it was in the back pocket he might have been "clenching it wrong" instead!

6
0

Brit ISP TalkTalk scraps line rental charges

DJV
Facepalm

Re: Bullshitting "customer" manager

"Nothing matters more to us than our customers and doing right by them"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Best joke I've heard in a long while!

21
1

Sage advice: Avoid the Windows 10 Anniversary Update – it knackers our accounting app

DJV

Re: Windows 10 Anniversary Edition

I hope that was sarcasm!

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/how-downgrade-windows-10-anniversary-update-before-its-too-late-1574488

1
0

How much does your kid hate exams? This lad hacked his government to skip them

DJV

Re: "I asked for a car...

And both are prone to crashing!

7
0

Blink and you missed it: Asteroid came within 90,000 km, only one sky-watcher saw it

DJV

...the strings of your heart?

5
0

'Second Earth' exoplanet found right under our noses – just four light years away

DJV

Re: We already know what's out there...

Yes, but beware of the leopard.

3
0
DJV

Re: Stephen Baxter

Funnily enough, I'm reading Proxima right now!

0
0

Microsoft’s stealth scripting engine arrives on Android

DJV
Thumb Down

Sod that

The last think I want on my Android phone is more MS crap. It's bad enough that there isn't an option to delete the MS bloatware that came pre-installed on it without rooting it.

2
3

Gullible Essex Police are now using junk science lie detectors

DJV

ain't no lie?

Yes, it is - it's spelt "pseudo" :D

5
0

Glassdoor spaffs users' email addresses in bcc fail

DJV

Re: "We are incredibly sorry for our error"

They were obviously THIS sorry:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYOZ3IzRaf4

0
0

Nope, we can't find dark matter either, says LUX team

DJV
Joke

At least...

At least they weren't trying to find something really elusive, such as integrity in a Tory or UKIP MP!

1
2

Apple kills eavesdrop bug in FaceTime

DJV

"Windows users, meanwhile, should check their PCs for updates to iTunes and iCloud"

I don't think so - unless you mean check to see if the damned things have mysteriously sneaked their way in and delete them.

0
0

Microsoft tweaks TCP stack in Windows Server and Windows 10

DJV
Mushroom

"faster TCP slow start"

Eh? What? How?

Head explodes...

6
0

4-day Fasthosts outage: Customers' sites go TITSUP

DJV
Happy

@alcopops

You mean you've damaged your hands trying to beat some sense into your clients until they finally saw sense and stopped using Fasthosts?

0
0
DJV
Facepalm

Same ole, same ole...

Given my past experience of FastHosts it's a wonder they are still in business. I've steered many an unwary soul away from their incompetent clutches over the years.

2
0

Geek's Guide to Britain – now a book. Permission to geek out granted

DJV
Happy

With our book...

"With our book, you are no longer dependent on a functioning internet connection to read Geek’s Guide to Britain"

Amazing! What will they think of next!

0
0

Aquaboffins sink lost Greek city theory

DJV
Joke

Re: Carbon capture

Yep, the people that built that underwater city!

2
0

Windows 10 zero day selling for $90,000

DJV

Re: Prerequisites?

Reminds me of a story about someone whose garden was plagued by caterpillars who found an advert for a kit that guaranteed it could kill 100% of them. Kit was promptly purchased and, upon arrival, was found to be 2 small blocks of wood labelled A and B, and accompanied by some simple instructions which read: "Place caterpillar on block A, hit with block B."

8
0

Urika-ka-ka-ka! Cray unveils open source big data box

DJV

"Cray Tuesday"

Is that something akin to Manic Monday, Sheffield Wednesday or Man Friday?

0
0

The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey

DJV

And these followers did hang out in GitHub and Google Plus

Wait, "Google Plus" - is that still a thing?

0
0

Google HQ evacuated

DJV

Re: Googleplex evacuated in record time

The building was still in beta, anyway...

2
0

Done making the big stuff better? The path to Apple's mid-life crisis

DJV
Angel

@404

"man... I don't know how well I'd deal with a Zombie Jobs as CEO of Apple..."

Yeah, I can see a repeat of the "You're not holding it right" episode but this time with the added Addams Family bonus of his hand falling off onto the floor and rushing off stage with said iPhone.

2
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017