* Posts by DJV

861 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

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Google Cloud Platform reins in its trigger-happy account-axing AI cops

DJV
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"Why you should not use Google Cloud"

I suspect mainly because it contains 2 particular words:

* Google

* Cloud

Well, that's certainly enough to put me off, anyway!

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DJV
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Facepalm

@MonkeyCee

Re: "Paypal being utterly useless with fraud"

In my experience of PayPal from a developers angle, I think you can safely abbreviate that to just "Paypal being utterly useless".

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TalkTalk shrugs off moaning customers to claim 80,000 more

DJV
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Re: Why? Just Why?

Indeed, but there are probably still people out there who don't have friends who are either in IT or who have been previous TalkTalk victims customers. So these people end up being conned by the rose-tinted adverts until they learn the truth about how "good" TalkTalk's service is. Safe bet that most of them won't be back after their contract runs out...

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Capita strikes again: Bug in UK-wide school info management system risks huge data breach

DJV
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Crapita

Testing - we've heard of it (possibly).

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Microsoft bids adieu to inky fingers with whiteboard app

DJV
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"You’ll need a Microsoft account to use the app"

Absolutely nope, then...

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Do you really want your kids' future in the hands of Capita? Well, too bad

DJV
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Capita will manage "end-to-end" services of the NCA tests

"Mismanage", Shirley?

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Microsoft adds subscriptions for SQL and Windows Servers

DJV
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Re: How long...?

Or pushing people onto PostgreSQL/MariaDB...

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Spidey sense is literally tingling! Arachnids detect Earth's electric field, use it to fly away

DJV
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Interesting timing...

...considering that Steve Ditko has recently passed away.

RIP SD - no one drew Spidey or Dr Strange quite like you did.

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Imagine a patent on organizing computer files being used against online shopping sites. Oh, it's still happening

DJV
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Antiquity

Me clam prior art! Sort rocks into big n litel! Big rocks for throw at Mamoht, lital rox for hit rabitz! Tastee - ug?

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DJV
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Re: Isn't this just another CAFS?

Please don't restrict it to just the trolls in East Texas! The buggers are known to exist elsewhere as well.

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UK.gov: New London courthouse will focus on crimes of a cyber nature

DJV
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So...

What's the betting they will construct a fancy big hi-tech state-of-the-art building that will only hit the news in a major way when it's discovered that the electronic access doors can be regularly opened by kiddies using nothing more than a toothpick and a mobile phone with bluetooth...

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Hoping for Microsoft's mythical Andromeda in your Xmas stocking? Don't hold your breath

DJV
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Trollface

"Experiences and Devices Group"

Is that akin to the "Experience of Fscking Up Devices Group" that seems to have been hiding in the background at Microsoft for years making sure the fail rate always remained high?

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They grow up so fast: Spam magnet Hotmail turned 22 today

DJV
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Re: Overloaded Servers

Yep, Hotmail was notorious for that sort of thing. I always tried to steer people away from it. Here are some links that show the problems it had:

* Loses 81% of all emails with attachments (2011): https://hubpages.com/technology/Hotmail_Fails_To_Deliver_Up_To_81_Of_All_Attachment_Emails

* Emails not arriving: https://www.astutium.com/knowledgebase/268/Why-does-my-email-not-arrive-at-hotmail--Missing-or-Lost-emails-to-xyzathotmailcom-.html

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Google Chrome update to label HTTP-only sites insecure within WEEKS

DJV
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@Roger Greenwood

That's for Cloudfare ONLY! Doesn't help anyone using anything else! Sigh...

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The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

DJV
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And I think they should extend the display to the sides, the back, the phone cover, the charging lead and the box it came in. But what do I know?

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Foot lose: Idiot perv's shoe-mounted upskirt vid camera explodes

DJV
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"notch above Darwin Award territory"

As it was at shoe height, it was probably more like about 30 inches below Darwin Award territory! Unfortunately, as far as this individual is concerned, doing your best to blow your foot off doesn't actually stop you from procreating.

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Just look at the state of AI today. Literally, look. There's a report on it – plus more ML news

DJV
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"Commensurate with their skills in industry"

In many cases the word "Inversely" should be inserted right at the start of that phrase!

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Relive your misspent, 8-bit youth on the BBC's reopened Micro archive

DJV
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Ah...

Those heady days when both computers and software came with thick manuals that explained things properly. Not like today when the most you get is an unenforceable EULA or a PDF written by a 10 year old that first needs to be downloaded from teh interwebs. Sigh...

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Microsoft has another crack at fixing Chrome problems in Windows 10

DJV
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!

"perfectly serviceable web trotter in the form of Edge"

Evidence, m'lud, that Microsoft are a cloud company. Well, still living in cloud cuckoo land, anyway...

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Google kills AdWords!

DJV
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"incomprehensibly convoluted, labyrinthine and confusing messes of an interface"

That pretty much sums up all of Google's interfaces as far as I'm concerned. Bookmarking things is also a waste of time as they change locations far too often.

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UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

DJV
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@Archtech

And there was me thinking they were now part of Europe given their recent appearances in the Eurovision Ear-Torturing Song Contest.

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SUSE Linux Enterprise turns 15: Look, Ma! A common code base

DJV
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DJV
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I hope they don't find this site, otherwise a few more are likely to be omitted!

https://sottyreview.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/lucky-and-unlucky-numbers-from-around-the-world/

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It's getting more and more Azure'd: For Microsoft, sorry seems to be the hardest word

DJV
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"Unusually warm weather in Ireland was blamed for the failure."

Or maybe the leprechauns were just holding it wrong.

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Software changed the world, then died on the first of the month

DJV
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@Rich 11

Yep, it all depends on the quality of the "spec" and the ability of a developer to understand the problem from the customer's point of view.

20 years ago I worked in a company that had a developer who was asked by someone else in the company to produce a specific piece of software - the "spec" was verbal only. All this happened while I was on holiday. When I came back she told me that what the developer, who hadn't questioned anything in the verbal "spec", had produced for her was "exactly what I'd asked for" but "didn't do what I wanted".

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DJV
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Indeed, it's as silly as having software not work on a weekend just because the developer only worked Mondays to Fridays.

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Oracle's new Java SE subs: Code and support for $25/processor/month

DJV
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@TheVogon

Where are the <sarcasm>tags</sarcasm>?

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Microsoft Edge bug odyssey shows why we can't have nice things

DJV
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Happy

Re: Edge aka Trident 12. No thanks.

I kind of get the vague impression that El Reg is no fan of Edge, either, given that "even the worst web browser on the planet – Microsoft Edge – can open PDFs directly without argument" appears on another of today's articles here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/06/21/how_a_tax_form_kludge_gave_us_25_years_of_pdf/.

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DJV
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@johnnyblaze

"LTSB runs Office fine thank you very much. No app store, no Cortana, no Edge, no live tiles."

What, you mean it's really Windows 7?

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UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

DJV
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Ah, Sky logic

So, if you are "experiencing issues going online" how can you "Please check ... https://servicestatus.sky.com"?

Telepathy?

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CIOs planning to snub Oracle for other cloudy vendors – analyst

DJV
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Re: How odd

Indeed, most bullies and bullshit merchants eventually get what they deserve.

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Oracle launches its very own 'net threat map

DJV
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At least...

...New Zealand will be happy with that map!

http://worldmapswithout.nz/

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Budget Surface 'spotted' in Microsoft's crystal ball

DJV
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Facepalm

"four hours fewer of battery life"?

Is it their intention to develop an even thinner device with no battery (life) whatsoever? Sounds like the way to go - at least, if you can't actually turn it on, it won't be able to BSOD (it will just be 'D').

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Microsoft will ‘lose developers for a generation’ if it stuffs up GitHub, says future CEO

DJV
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Re: Gitlab's 10x claims

"The rest will wait until Microsoft actually does something they don't like."

Given Microsoft's previous record that won't take long.

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Fingered: Pants-down 'poo jogger' alleged to be corp exec

DJV
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"Where you chose to shit on the other hand is a personal choice"

I prefer not to shit on either hand, thank you very much!

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Hey, Mac fanbois: Got $600,000 burning a hole in your pocket? Splash out on this rare Apple I

DJV
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Looks in wallet...

...damn, only $599,900 short...

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No lie-in this morning? Thank the Moon's gravitational pull

DJV
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@Tom 7

Absolutelzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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DJV
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Facepalm

Re: Climate

Actually, I always thought that climate change was all due to the World Dryer Corporation - I mean to say, people, the clue is in the name!

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Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

DJV
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Re: Shite

"They might not fuck it up."

Ha ha! Fat chance (of NOT fucking it up, that is)!

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IETF wants packets to prove where they've been, to improve trust

DJV
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Re: Freudian Slip?

I once drove a Ford Transit and I strongly refute that I am daft!

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'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird

DJV
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"chips in general are now cheap"

Not quite sure that Gordon Moore's own company, Intel, have got that message yet!

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Help, I'm being held prisoner in a security camera testing factory. So please read this...

DJV
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Black Helicopters

Yeah, all very well but...

...can you buy a kit that, along with the camera and microphone, comes complete with:

  • a remote controlled taser for zapping undesirables who ignore the "No cold calling" sign?
  • a remote controlled trap door that plunges the unwary down into the tank full of underfed sharks with frickin' lasers?
  • a (non-remote controlled) fluffy white cat that's content to sit on your lap without throwing up?

This question definitely needs answering!

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Smart bulbs turn dumb: Lights out for Philips as Hue API goes dark

DJV
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Internet of Fail

The IoF strikes again!

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TSB meltdown latest: Facepalming reaches critical mass as Brits get strangers' bank letters

DJV
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Re: Guiness Book Of World's Records

Yes, I hear they are going into the brewery business and are going to attempt to organise a piss-up...

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DJV
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Facepalm

TSB

A Totally Stuffed Bank whose managers appear to be Tiptoeing Silently Backwards, the Terminally Stupid WBankers!

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German court snubs ICANN's bid to compel registrar to slurp up data

DJV
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ICANN

They keep getting slapped but are too stupid to know when to fall down. Sigh...

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Headless man found in lava’s embrace

DJV
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"Most of the populace had evacuated"

I'd've evacuated there and then seeing that rock "head"ing towards me!

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Cold call bosses could be forced to cough up under new rules

DJV
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Re: Split their noses open with a boat hook

I hope you don't mean a plastic straw - let's keep it environmental!

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Samsung loses (again) to Apple in patent battle (again). This time to the tune of a mere $539m

DJV
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나도 그래 Nah, not really...

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Microsoft patches problematic OS to deal with SSD woes

DJV
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I paused my Windows 10 update a couple of years back - my computer's still on Windows 7.

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