* Posts by DJV

761 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

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Does my boom look big in this? New universe measurements bewilder boffins

DJV

@Mark85

"but apparently something (maybe the observations?) has changed"

Yeah, the rest of the universe has woken up to Trump being President - now it can't get away fast enough!

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Face, face, face! Apple, TrueDepth and a nose-driven iPhone X game

DJV

Nose driven...

I hope there's a "sneeze" filter that prevents you from accidentally calling an Uber or donating £££ to a Nigerian prince when you suddenly let off an unexpected and particularly violent one!

5
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UK worker who sold customers' data to nuisance callers must cough up £1k

DJV

I often find that demanding they tell me their company name is enough to make them hang up. Then I Google their phone number and, if I find any complaints from others about that number, I report it to the ICO and/or TPS, and then block that number. I've got caller ID and a phone that can block withheld numbers so those NEVER get picked up.

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Adobe: Two critical Flash security bugs fixed for the price of one

DJV

Re: Philosophical question

It's a bit like Trigger's broom - they just remove one bug and patch it with another similar one. And that's probably the complete history of Flash since it started.

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‘I crashed a rack full of servers with my butt’

DJV

Re: Just finger trouble

My main PC is one of those with a power button on the top of the case, which is fine until the cat jumps up and lands her heel on the power switch before sitting down and turning things off with me in mid-work! A strategically placed book seems to have fixed the "problem" now.

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When you play this song backwards, you can hear Satan. Play it forwards, and it hijacks Siri, Alexa

DJV

Re: Perfect Solution

I struggle to see what you did there...

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You publish 20,000 clean patches, but one goes wrong and you're a PC-crippler forever

DJV
Facepalm

"Recently we have been improving our products"

That's generally a good idea - except when it's Microsoft's ideas about "improving" Windows by adding telemetry and all the other crap they shovelled into it after Windows 7.

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Apple: The exclusive sales channel for an, er, AI toothbrush

DJV

Damn you, sjsmoto said "mouth"!

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UK watchdog dishes out fines totaling £600k to four spam-spewers

DJV

Good

But the fines should be higher.

34
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Cortana. Whatever happened to world domination?

DJV

@Mongrel

+1! Excellent!

The ability of Reg commentards to make me spit drink over my keyboard is one of the reasons I keep coming back here!

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Don't just grab your CPU bug updates – there's a nasty hole in Office, too

DJV
Thumb Down

Re: The cesspool that is windows

"Its laughable that so many businesses run it everywhere without question, when in many cases there are far more secure cloud based offerings."

I was with you until you mentioned "cloud"...

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Hold on to your aaSes: Yup, Windows 10 'as a service' is incoming

DJV

"compelling new features"

Erm, exactly what were these "compelling new features"? Buggered if I can find any REAL improvements over Win7 - and I don't think "improved" telemetry really counts.

41
3

More stuff broken amid Microsoft's efforts to fix Meltdown/Spectre vulns

DJV
Joke

Re: Fix?

Oh, I don't know - how about "Microsoft fixed my computer so that it no longer works at all."

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The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?

DJV

Re: Opposite effect

Knew a guy who appeared to have the ability to curdle milk. No hot drink made by him was ever drinkable, there would be unidentifiable scum floating on top even when you watched him do everything in the normal fashion.

Another guy I worked with had the abililty to make any screwdriver, pliers, scissors - well, basically, anything metal he came into contact with - start to rust within a couple of days.

4
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EEk! Mobe network's customer services down for more than 24 hours

DJV

Re: <Smug Mode Activated>

You're lucky - I went the other way after Vodafone fucked several things up royally!

So, is there actually a decent mobile phone company in the UK or are they all as crap as each other?

0
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I, Robot? Aiiiee, ROBOT! RSA TLS crypto attack pwns Facebook, PayPal, 27 of 100 top domains

DJV
Alert

Bad robot!

"the researchers have dubbed the bad code ROBOT"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Brd1F1dQc

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How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

DJV
Happy

Re: Caffeine high?

What is this "thing" that's coming? I "think" you should definitely tell us!

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Apple gets around to patching all the other High Sierra security holes

DJV

Thanks for bringing that up. Didn't something similar happen with iOS a few versions back?

I will hold off updating until 10.13.4.. 5.. or whenever there appear to be no more major nasties.

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OK Google: A stranger with stash of pirated films is spamming my Google Team Drive

DJV
Thumb Up

@MonkeyCee

"Yes, when they discontinue them :)"

+1 Comment of the week!

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Microsoft adds nothing to new Semi-Annual Windows Server preview

DJV

Dilbert did it years ago!

http://dilbert.com/strip/1995-11-13

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156K spam text-sending firm to ICO: It wasn't us, Commissioner

DJV

@handleoclast

Excellent - I REALLY like that. Must try it on the next wanker who calls me. I usually go straight for the second option.

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It was El Reg wot won it: Bing banishes bogus Brit bank banner ad

DJV

Re: report link pointing to the disused lavatory in the basement

Is that the one to which they couldn't even be bothered to afix the standard "Beware of the Leopard" sign?

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UK.gov told to tread carefully with transfer of data sets to NHS Digital

DJV

I don't think you needed to put the Joke icon on your post, unless you were referring to the entire bunch of Westminster twats who continuously make donkey noises in lieu of thinking.

7
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TalkTalk sees red after chucking £75m on restructuring bonfire

DJV
Trollface

Yes, I'm so sad for them

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! SNORT! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! GUFFAW! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

5
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Now Oracle stiffs its own sales reps to pocket their overtime, allegedly

DJV
Facepalm

Re: Did Larry Need a New Yatch?

Maybe he needs a new dictionary (or spell checker) instead!

Yatch -> Yacht

7
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Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, look out for must-have toys that are 'easily hacked' ♪

DJV
Trollface

Re: Keep it traditional - keep it safe

Plenty to choose from here!

https://www.elitereaders.com/dangerous-toys-from-the-past/

3
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Silverlight extinguished while Angular wins fans among developers

DJV
Thumb Up

I'm always surprised that...

...Brainfuck isn't number one!

17
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NASA tells The Reg: For crying out loud. We're not building flying taxi software for Uber

DJV

Re: Sooooooooooo

Well, obviously they were just taking people for a ride...

13
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OVH data centres go TITSUP: Power supply blunders blamed

DJV

"trying to restart generators"

So, they are properly tested regularly in the event of such "mishaps", then?

2
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Google Drive ate our homework! Doc block blamed on code blunder

DJV

Re: GDoc sync

"OneDrive just comes with easily clickable options to do this"

In my experience, OneDrive just comes with built-in problems that make it stop working for no apparent reason (on several different devices). Which is why I gave up on that heap of shit!

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Whois? No, Whowas: Incoming Euro privacy rules torpedo domain registration system

DJV

difficult bind

"The outright refusal by registries to accept ICANN's contractual terms and provide a Whois lookup service puts the DNS overseer in a difficult bind"

"bind" - ah, I see what you did there...

2
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Japan finds long, deep tunnel on the Moon

DJV

But what are they going to _do_ up there?

This apparently:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mother-Moon-Bob-Goddard/dp/0956351816

0
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Google adds planets and moons to Maps, but puts bits in the wrong places

DJV

Re: Bugger

So, looks like the person who made all the cockups on Apple maps a few years ago got a job at Google...

5
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Microsoft silently fixes security holes in Windows 10 – dumps Win 7, 8 out in the cold

DJV

@bombastic bob

You can upvote the OP now, cos I bumped it to 43 before reading your comment.

10
1

The axeman strikes again: Microsoft has real commitment issues

DJV

"The real problem is that they need to identify things they can do well"

I'm still using a 1999-vintage MS Internet Keyboard Pro and will be very sorry when it finally kicks the bucket. Mind you, I'd be very hard pressed to think of anything else they actually do (or have ever done) that's anywhere near as good as that keyboard!

9
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So. Should I upgrade to macOS High Sierra?

DJV
Meh

Re: So it's like Windows then

Nah, I'd say it's more like Windows used to be when the arrival of Service Pack 1 fixed the "stupids" in the vanilla .0 release and didn't introduce too many new bugs.

Nowadays, with the Windows 10 update style of "take it or, oh wait... no, your only choice is to take it and if it breaks your computer, tough" bollocks, we dream of having properly tested* service packs and .1 releases.

* Well, sometimes they were fully tested...

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Bill Gates says he'd do CTRL-ALT-DEL with one key if given the chance to go back through time

DJV

Reset button

A friend of mine's computer locked up one day. She reached around the back as she thought there was some sort of reset button there. She found a switch of sorts and flicked it to its other position. PC was far from happy having had its power supply switched from expecting 240 volts (UK standard) to expecting 110 volts (though still receiving the aforementioned 240). A large bang was the result. Fried the motherboard completely.

She did have a bit of a track record - it was the 3rd PC she'd lost within 12 months! I did manage to recover data from the HDD, though that was rather flakey about powering up at first.

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Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

DJV

The one I remember best...

...was driven by the Doctor (Jon Pertwee) in the Sea Devils (1972). Pic further down the page on this site:

https://georgesjournal.org/2013/03/17/tardis-party-whos-birthday-2-rare-but-brilliant-images-from-doctor-who-1970s/

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Cassini probe's death dive to send data at just 27 kilobits per second

DJV
Thumb Up

Re: send data at *just* 27 kilobits per second

Still somewhat faster than the standard Commodore 64 datasette speed, which was a mighty 300 bits per second!

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Hubble Space Telescope spies possibility of liquid water in TRAPPIST-1

DJV

Just time for another bath then...

n/c

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Energy firm slapped with £50k fine for making 1.5 million nuisance calls

DJV

double glazed salesman

Totally agree...

...apart from the fact that I don't think I've ever seen a "double glazed salesman". However, given some of the tactics used by many of the salesmen in the double glazing industry, sealing them inside double glazing doesn't sound like a bad idea!

6
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Surfacegate: Microsoft execs 'misled Nadella', claims report

DJV

Nope, just keyboards...

I'm still using an Internet Keyboard Pro that's from 1999 - most of the cursor keys no longer have symbols on them and the wrist rest is well polished but it still works fine. Damn good job it has both 5-pin and USB connectors.

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Microsoft's Surface Pro 2017, unhinged: Luxury fondleslab that's good...

DJV

"If you don't have a Surface Pro, I suspect the price is why"

No shit, Sherlock!

17
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Programmer's < fumble jeopardizes thousands of medical reports

DJV

Re: Escape!

Well, they should at least do a cat scan, anyway...

3
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DJV
Facepalm

@Natalie Gritpants

"most people know how to format their own name"

OMG, if only that was really true! I deal with customer entered data for several clients - and I am forced to say nope, nope and more nope!

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Chrome web dev plugin with 1m+ users hijacked, crams ads into browsers

DJV

Ah, so that's what caused it!

I saw a JavaScript pop-up in Chrome saying that a site had "detected a virus" and then went to a page recommending something called "Advance System Care". The site displaying the original pop-up had been my own home intranet home page so I went immediately into lockdown mode running all sorts of anti-virus/malware scans. Nothing was found. I suspected a Chrome infiltration as Firefox hadn't reacted in the same manner.

Rebooting and clearing Chrome didn't repeat the popup so I suspect the reboot caused the update to 0.5.

2
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Forgotten your Myspace password? Just a name, username, DoB will get you in – and into anyone else's, too

DJV

Re: Friendster

Yeah, I'm really worried about my FriendFace one as well.

0
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Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

DJV

Small/far away

Obligatory Father Ted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXypyrutq_M

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Now here's a novel idea: Digitising Victorian-era stamp duty machines

DJV

They tried this a couple of times but found they couldn't find ladders long enough to get right up to the cloud, and the machines had a habit of falling down if they merely glued them to the ceiling.

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Sleuths unearth 'Panic Mode' in Android, set off by mashing back button

DJV

@Lee D

Exactly, very well put.

And, it should be added that, absolutely NO program should pop itself to the front and take focus away from whatever the user is currently doing! Over the years I've lost count of the number of times something running in another window has popped itself to the front at the most inconvenient point, whereupon I've accidentally clicked on a button or pressed a key that has caused that program to do something I hadn't intended.

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