* Posts by DJV

740 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

Page:

It was El Reg wot won it: Bing banishes bogus Brit bank banner ad

DJV

Re: report link pointing to the disused lavatory in the basement

Is that the one to which they couldn't even be bothered to afix the standard "Beware of the Leopard" sign?

2
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UK.gov told to tread carefully with transfer of data sets to NHS Digital

DJV

I don't think you needed to put the Joke icon on your post, unless you were referring to the entire bunch of Westminster twats who continuously make donkey noises in lieu of thinking.

6
0

TalkTalk sees red after chucking £75m on restructuring bonfire

DJV
Trollface

Yes, I'm so sad for them

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! SNORT! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! GUFFAW! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

5
1

Now Oracle stiffs its own sales reps to pocket their overtime, allegedly

DJV
Facepalm

Re: Did Larry Need a New Yatch?

Maybe he needs a new dictionary (or spell checker) instead!

Yatch -> Yacht

7
0

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, look out for must-have toys that are 'easily hacked' ♪

DJV
Trollface

Re: Keep it traditional - keep it safe

Plenty to choose from here!

https://www.elitereaders.com/dangerous-toys-from-the-past/

3
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Silverlight extinguished while Angular wins fans among developers

DJV
Thumb Up

I'm always surprised that...

...Brainfuck isn't number one!

16
0

NASA tells The Reg: For crying out loud. We're not building flying taxi software for Uber

DJV

Re: Sooooooooooo

Well, obviously they were just taking people for a ride...

13
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OVH data centres go TITSUP: Power supply blunders blamed

DJV

"trying to restart generators"

So, they are properly tested regularly in the event of such "mishaps", then?

2
0

Google Drive ate our homework! Doc block blamed on code blunder

DJV

Re: GDoc sync

"OneDrive just comes with easily clickable options to do this"

In my experience, OneDrive just comes with built-in problems that make it stop working for no apparent reason (on several different devices). Which is why I gave up on that heap of shit!

2
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Whois? No, Whowas: Incoming Euro privacy rules torpedo domain registration system

DJV

difficult bind

"The outright refusal by registries to accept ICANN's contractual terms and provide a Whois lookup service puts the DNS overseer in a difficult bind"

"bind" - ah, I see what you did there...

2
0

Japan finds long, deep tunnel on the Moon

DJV

But what are they going to _do_ up there?

This apparently:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mother-Moon-Bob-Goddard/dp/0956351816

0
0

Google adds planets and moons to Maps, but puts bits in the wrong places

DJV

Re: Bugger

So, looks like the person who made all the cockups on Apple maps a few years ago got a job at Google...

5
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Microsoft silently fixes security holes in Windows 10 – dumps Win 7, 8 out in the cold

DJV

@bombastic bob

You can upvote the OP now, cos I bumped it to 43 before reading your comment.

10
1

The axeman strikes again: Microsoft has real commitment issues

DJV

"The real problem is that they need to identify things they can do well"

I'm still using a 1999-vintage MS Internet Keyboard Pro and will be very sorry when it finally kicks the bucket. Mind you, I'd be very hard pressed to think of anything else they actually do (or have ever done) that's anywhere near as good as that keyboard!

9
0

So. Should I upgrade to macOS High Sierra?

DJV
Meh

Re: So it's like Windows then

Nah, I'd say it's more like Windows used to be when the arrival of Service Pack 1 fixed the "stupids" in the vanilla .0 release and didn't introduce too many new bugs.

Nowadays, with the Windows 10 update style of "take it or, oh wait... no, your only choice is to take it and if it breaks your computer, tough" bollocks, we dream of having properly tested* service packs and .1 releases.

* Well, sometimes they were fully tested...

8
2

Bill Gates says he'd do CTRL-ALT-DEL with one key if given the chance to go back through time

DJV

Reset button

A friend of mine's computer locked up one day. She reached around the back as she thought there was some sort of reset button there. She found a switch of sorts and flicked it to its other position. PC was far from happy having had its power supply switched from expecting 240 volts (UK standard) to expecting 110 volts (though still receiving the aforementioned 240). A large bang was the result. Fried the motherboard completely.

She did have a bit of a track record - it was the 3rd PC she'd lost within 12 months! I did manage to recover data from the HDD, though that was rather flakey about powering up at first.

5
0

Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

DJV

The one I remember best...

...was driven by the Doctor (Jon Pertwee) in the Sea Devils (1972). Pic further down the page on this site:

https://georgesjournal.org/2013/03/17/tardis-party-whos-birthday-2-rare-but-brilliant-images-from-doctor-who-1970s/

7
0

Cassini probe's death dive to send data at just 27 kilobits per second

DJV
Thumb Up

Re: send data at *just* 27 kilobits per second

Still somewhat faster than the standard Commodore 64 datasette speed, which was a mighty 300 bits per second!

3
0

Hubble Space Telescope spies possibility of liquid water in TRAPPIST-1

DJV

Just time for another bath then...

n/c

11
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Energy firm slapped with £50k fine for making 1.5 million nuisance calls

DJV

double glazed salesman

Totally agree...

...apart from the fact that I don't think I've ever seen a "double glazed salesman". However, given some of the tactics used by many of the salesmen in the double glazing industry, sealing them inside double glazing doesn't sound like a bad idea!

6
0

Surfacegate: Microsoft execs 'misled Nadella', claims report

DJV

Nope, just keyboards...

I'm still using an Internet Keyboard Pro that's from 1999 - most of the cursor keys no longer have symbols on them and the wrist rest is well polished but it still works fine. Damn good job it has both 5-pin and USB connectors.

9
0

Microsoft's Surface Pro 2017, unhinged: Luxury fondleslab that's good...

DJV

"If you don't have a Surface Pro, I suspect the price is why"

No shit, Sherlock!

17
0

Programmer's < fumble jeopardizes thousands of medical reports

DJV

Re: Escape!

Well, they should at least do a cat scan, anyway...

3
0
DJV
Facepalm

@Natalie Gritpants

"most people know how to format their own name"

OMG, if only that was really true! I deal with customer entered data for several clients - and I am forced to say nope, nope and more nope!

5
0

Chrome web dev plugin with 1m+ users hijacked, crams ads into browsers

DJV

Ah, so that's what caused it!

I saw a JavaScript pop-up in Chrome saying that a site had "detected a virus" and then went to a page recommending something called "Advance System Care". The site displaying the original pop-up had been my own home intranet home page so I went immediately into lockdown mode running all sorts of anti-virus/malware scans. Nothing was found. I suspected a Chrome infiltration as Firefox hadn't reacted in the same manner.

Rebooting and clearing Chrome didn't repeat the popup so I suspect the reboot caused the update to 0.5.

2
0

Forgotten your Myspace password? Just a name, username, DoB will get you in – and into anyone else's, too

DJV

Re: Friendster

Yeah, I'm really worried about my FriendFace one as well.

0
0

Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

DJV

Small/far away

Obligatory Father Ted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXypyrutq_M

6
1

Now here's a novel idea: Digitising Victorian-era stamp duty machines

DJV

They tried this a couple of times but found they couldn't find ladders long enough to get right up to the cloud, and the machines had a habit of falling down if they merely glued them to the ceiling.

19
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Sleuths unearth 'Panic Mode' in Android, set off by mashing back button

DJV

@Lee D

Exactly, very well put.

And, it should be added that, absolutely NO program should pop itself to the front and take focus away from whatever the user is currently doing! Over the years I've lost count of the number of times something running in another window has popped itself to the front at the most inconvenient point, whereupon I've accidentally clicked on a button or pressed a key that has caused that program to do something I hadn't intended.

13
0

AI vans are real – but they'll make us suck at driving, warn boffins

DJV
Trollface

"Neither, we were told, does it read road signs"

Ooh, first set of roadworks on an established route is going to fun (though not for the guy down the hole who suddenly experiences the pleasure of an AI van landing on his head).

4
0

JavaScript spec gets strung out on padding

DJV

I look forward to using this in...

...2027 - when MS finally get around to implementing it years after everyone else (as per bloody normal).

0
2

Samsung stalls Bixby launch because it am English not so good

DJV
Happy

Re: guffaw

Admit it - you work for Engrish, don't you!

www.engrish.com

1
0

New work: Algorithms to give self-driving cars 'impulsive' human 'ethics'

DJV

save the baby/most people

Well, as long as they save the cheerleader - any alternative might be truly disastrous!

3
0

Dead serious: How to haunt people after you've gone... using your smartphone

DJV

Murdoch's £11.7bn Sky takeover referred to competition regulator

DJV

Good

Hopefully, they'll reject his bid altogether. We need LESS of Murdoch's vile influence, not more.

43
0

HMS Windows XP: Britain's newest warship running Swiss Cheese OS

DJV
Happy

Not only Win XP...

Those blue screens with white window borders and text look rather too much like AmigaDOS 1.3!

7
0

ICO fines 'Wolf of Wall Street' electrical survey biz for nuisance calls

DJV
Mushroom

Unwanted scum calls

Another bunch of lying, pestering cunts who have no respect for people's privacy or the TPS list. The directors of these companies should be heavily fined in addition to the companies themselves.

I registered with the TPS years ago and report as many of the unwanted calls I get as I can, even the scum that withhold their numbers.

21
1

Ex-NASA bod on Gwyneth Paltrow site's 'healing' stickers: 'Wow. What a load of BS'

DJV

Re: @45RPM

Reminds me of "I saw you coming": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgysRim_zT4

5
0

Darkness to fall over North America from a total solar eclipse

DJV

Cameras

I remember seeing a TV programme (probably an edition of the Sky at Night) where Patrick Moore and others were viewing an eclipse from a plane. He had a great few moments shouting "Turn off your flashes" to all the idiots onboard!

2
0

2 kool 4 komputing: Teens' interest in GCSE course totally bombs

DJV
Joke

"'career' PE teacher"

Yeah, only good for a quick somersault over a Skovox Blitzer and then get run over crossing the road a few days later.. lightweights!

2
0

Microsoft's new Surface laptop defeats teardown – with glue

DJV
Facepalm

That's Surface crossed off my Christmas list, then!

Well, it would have been crossed off had I been stupid enough to put it on there in the first place. I'll stick with upgradeable PCs and a cheap lappy when I need to be portable, thank you very much!

48
3

BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

DJV

Re: CRTs

Back in the 1970s I was an apprentice TV engineer for Rediffusion. Once, I forget to connect up the wires to the vertical scan coils after fitting a new B/W CRT. So, upon turning the set on it took less than a couple of seconds to burn a permanent horizontal line across the brand new phosphor! Somewhat chastened, I had to remove the newly buggered CRT and fit yet another one. At least I only did it once!

Health & Safety people please look away now! One of the other engineers there told me a story of when he was an apprentice (probably back in the 60s). One day, not long after he'd started, someone announced that it was time to break up some old CRTs. Everyone grabbed a CRT and he did likewise, following them outside where they lined up facing a brick wall. All the others started swinging the tubes to chuck at the wall and, on a count of three, they all let go. Of course, they'd deliberately omitted to tell him to run like the clappers in the opposite direction as soon as he let go! When those buggers implode they do tend to shower glass everywhere! Obviously, he survived to tell the tale!

5
0

Yeah, if you could just stop writing those Y2K compliance reports, that would be great

DJV

Re: Time for Y2.1K

Is it too early to start worrying about the Y10K problem?

9
0

If you haven't already obliterated your Jaff-infected comp, there is an antidote available

DJV

Re: Don't trust email.

Absolutely!

In my case, I use MailWasher as one of several lines of defence.

1
0
DJV

"overshadowed by the WannaCrypt outbreak"

Blimey, I'd say - this article is the first I've heard of Jaff!

11
0

Firefox 54 delivers sandboxes Mozilla's wanted since 2009

DJV

@Circadian

"Privacy should be the default situation, not something you have to fight to try to retain."

Abso-bloody-utely! But try telling that to Theresa fucking May with her Snoopers Charter bollocks!

30
0

Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law gets six months for hacking sweary super-chef's computer

DJV
Facepalm

@Pompous Git

Obviously, your superpower is: Impervious to Puns!

"can't elope" - You'll get there if you try...

11
0

WannaCrypt: Pwnage is a fact of life but cleanup could and should be way easier

DJV

Apparently, "Seeral" is not an operating system - it's a typo...

1
0

Health data 'vault' app floats into UK.gov's G-Cloud. *cough* GDPR *cough*

DJV
Meh

Hmmm

Sounds like Flying Binary want to be the Microsoft of the medical world.

I get a nagging "Too many eggs, only one basket" type of feeling about this.

1
0

Bye bye MP3: You sucked the life out of music. But vinyl is just as warped

DJV

Re: "You can even physically see how the music is happening."

Back in the 1970s, I almost convinced a work colleague that, if you looked very closely into a vinyl's grooves, you could see the lyrics that were being sung.

13
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