* Posts by oliversalmon

18 posts • joined 31 Jul 2009

Oracle's priorities for 2019? Repeat this handy mantra: Applications! Automation! Integration!

oliversalmon
Childcatcher

Re: Why bother to report this?

"Presumably all the existing Oracle users call themselves consenting adults, not slaves?"

Stockholm syndrome.

I had it for years and only through repeated beating with Oracle product licenses was I cured.

oliversalmon
Mushroom

Why bother to report this?

Death throws of a dying company.

Oracle will be vaporised by open source, why would you sign yourself into slavery these days?

Git it girl! Academy tries to tempt women into coding with free course

oliversalmon
WTF?

Re: Schools need to step up to the plate

"Kit is cheap, licenses are not"

What licences do you need to teach coding? Everything you need and more is available opensource

As the singularity approaches, neural network pens black metal album

oliversalmon

Tame

Just listened to Calculating Infinity, compared to a techno album, Industrial Assault, I used to have on tape by an obscure Belgian Dj called DJ Xcite, this is kindergarten material.

For total brain melting material, listen to Gabba :)

Q. What's today's top language? A. Python... no, wait, Java... no, C

oliversalmon
FAIL

Re: I suspect there are quite a few Java devs out there

Fermi's last theorem?

If you're trying to prove how much smarter you are than Java devs, at least realise that it was Fermat not Fermi.

Java? Nah, I do JavaScript, man. Wise up, hipster, to the money

oliversalmon

Re: Java Alive and Well

"technology advisor of a venture capitalist"

Say no more!

oliversalmon

Java Alive and Well

I work in a large investment bank, virtually all the systems are written in Java from trading systems, to risk systems to clearing systems and beyond, no one's talking about porting to Rust, SWIFT etc and I'd be fired for recommending that anything was built in PHP.

Nearly all the big data solutions, Hadoop ecosystem, Cassandra etc are written in Java

Most of the new stream processing systems Flink, Storm, Gearpump etc are written in Scala & Java

Products written Java or JVM platform Languages (mostly Scala) are driving all the innovation in Software at the moment

Job ad promises 'Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack'

oliversalmon

Shackleton's job ad possibly the most honest!

"Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success."

How NoSQL graph databases still usurp relational dynasties

oliversalmon
WTF?

Re: Relational Databases are Very Powerful

I'm hoping that this is a very clever bit of satire

Here's what an Intel Broadwell Xeon with a built-in FPGA looks like

oliversalmon
Go

Re: Useful for automatic trading?

They've been doing it for years in HFT and Stat Arb. Plenty of examples of FIX gateways built on FPGA chips.

Java evangelist leaves Oracle to save Java

oliversalmon
Thumb Up

Re: A name from the past

"Anyone else remember Cameron 'Peace' Purdy, Mike '2PC' Spille and Marc '$$$' Fleury from the golden age of theserverside.com"

I do! I often wonder what happened to Rolf Tollerud (sic?). His continuous trolling on behalf of .Net was a joy to behold.

Radio 4 and Dr K on programming languages: Full of Java Kool-Aid

oliversalmon

Re: No banking if Java didn't exist

"Banking runs largely on COBOL"

I never understand this comment, I work in on of the largest banks in the world and the amount of COBOL is miniscule.

Almost all server side development is in Java these days, GUIs tend to be .Net or Flex, although moving to HTML 5.

Exchange matching engines are writing in Java, Trading systems are written in Java (OMS, EMS & SOR).

If you want to work in banking, learn Java!

Much of recent global warming actually caused by Sun

oliversalmon
WTF?

Same report two conclusions

Amazingly the Guardian reported the same in exactly the opposite manner

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2010/oct/06/sun-role-warming-planet

What does the actual report say?

KIN'ell, Microsoft! Is that a breasticle I see before me?

oliversalmon
FAIL

QA?

Perhaps you should QA your spelling

Senior IT workers caught in bank bonus tax crossfire

oliversalmon
Unhappy

Sadly not a surprise

Despite the fact that it was credit derivatives that were the banking area that caused the crunch, this moronic government is determined to lay the blame at the feet of everyone in FS just to avoid the blame they should be getting for their large part in it.

Sadly this is nothing new for this government or any other in history. Find a group people are envious of scared of, bankers, hedgies, foreigners etc and blame them for your own short comings.

Darling upsets almost everyone

oliversalmon
Stop

Re Bye Bye Bankers

I've seen lots of comments like this on various websites, but I didn't expect it here. I normally think the readers of El Reg are reasonably intelligent, but you are obviously a moron. The reason banking is important to the UK is we're good at it. It delivers a huge amount of money into the economy. If the bankers were to f*ck off the economy would drop by 30%, is that what you want?

Banking is a highly complex global business which you obviously don’t understand at all, maybe that’s why you don’t work in banking and don’t get to enjoy the benefits.

If you’re mates in manufacturing want to compete with China go for it, but I bet they don’t want to work for a dollar a day 7 days a week.

Maybe you should think of the implications of what you ask for rather than spouting jealous bile.

UK population to abandon Midlands

oliversalmon
Megaphone

We don't want you

If you can't handle life in London, you're obviously a bunch of soft c*cks who are better off up north with your whippets and ferrets. Thankfully we have lots of nice hard working foreigners to replace you. The sooner London gets its independence and can stop subsidising the shambles that is the rest of the UK the better ;-)

Groovy punts SQL turbocharger

oliversalmon
Alert

Nothing New

This sounds like a half arsed data grid to me, with slack kind of continuous query. If I want a data grid I'd use a data grid product, this half way house between a grid and and RDB doesn't seem to support either paradigm very well.

I also agree that people who think SQL == SQL Server should have their geek license revoked!

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