* Posts by not.known@this.address

276 posts • joined 31 Jul 2009


Audi chief exec arrested over Dieselgate car emissions scandal

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Bureaucracy rules...

Can anyone explain the "logic" behind emissions tests which require an infernal combustion engine - either petrol or diesel - to be stuck in a small area with no through-flow of air for cooling while the tester has to rev the guts out of it? Cos as well as no cooling (which isn't good for the car or the environment), there's also nothing moving all those nasty emissions away from the poor buggers doing the testing, and the (audio) volume in the enclosed space is not going to do their hearing much good either - they can't wear ear defenders as you need one to thrash the engine while another reads the test machine and the two need to be able to shout to each other...

And shouldn't someone be liable to refund us for the fuel wasted whilst our vehicles are mistreated like this just so some pencil-neck can claim to care about the environment?

Cloud-in-a-box? Bo-ring! How about cloud-in-a-tank?

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: I'm likely being highly ignorant....

Korev asked

"Which shell do you think they'd use?"

APFSDSDUBSOD? (Armour-Piercing Fin-Stabilized Discarding Sabot Depleted Uranium Blue Screen Of Death)

Computer Misuse Act charge against British judge thrown out

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Black and white or various shades of grey?

I always thought the Computer Misuse Act was pretty clear - if you had no legal reason to access something on a computer, it would be illegal for you to do so. It's like a speed limit - either you stick at or below the limit and within the law, or you break the limit and the law.

How long until we see prosecutions for speeding thrown out because the driver was only above the limit for 9 minutes?

Maybe the judge who made this somewhat misguided decision should reconsider the precedent he is setting?

Astroboffins trace mysterious noise from hard rock in space

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Monotonous background noise in outer space?

Oh great, they've discovered Space Elevator Music...

Or is it Erich Zahn just getting started?

England's top judge lashes out at 'Science Museum' grade court IT

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

There is at least one big advantage to hardcopy.

It's a lot harder to pretend you actually said something else when it's printed out and anyone can read it...

Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: Lira?

You beat me to it! We probably shouldn't Panda to bad jokes though....


You lot are much Brava than me...

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

not.known@this.address Bronze badge


see also PEBCAM/PEBMAC (Problem exists between Chair and Monitor / Monitor And Chair) for display-related issues and the "ID-ten-T" error for problems that are due to neither hardware or software issues.

Tor-forker Joshua Yabut cuffed for armoured personnel carrier joyride

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

El Reg 1, world media 0

M577 is the Tactical Operations Center command variant of the M113.

It is NOT a fscking tank!

It's less of a threat than if the muppet had stolen a Caterpillar digger or bulldozer and gone on a rampage with that.

Calm your conspiracy theories, latest glimpse reveals Planet Nine may just be a pipe dream

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Eat your heart out, Copernicus - the Flat-Earthers were right!

There is no ninth planet, and certainly no tenth. And no intelligent life outside the solar system. I know this cos my mate told me last night.

Yuggoth is a small town outside Guildford, right?

'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: Getting more and more off topic ...

Charles 9, you obviously live near some interesting motorways/freeways... the ones I am familiar with only have one slip road or on/off-ramp at a time, there are no 4-way-stops when vehicles are (legally) doing 50-70mph.

Visa Europe fscks up Friday night with other GDPR: 'God Dammit, Payment Refused'

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

You-all might be joking but I wouldn't be totally surprised if they did end up blaming GDPR. If this doesn't affect the rest of the planet then someone's gonna have to find something else pretty damn interesting to blame...

Capture your late-night handbrake turns with this 'autonomous' car-chasing camera drone

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Nothing new.

Various organisations have been using these for years - although they are normally attached to rocket motors and a few kilos of HE or other assorted noisemakers and used for taking out AFVs, softskins and the odd aircraft that doesn't get out the way quickly enough...

Although I believe can be quite challenging to pop into your local Wallyworld and pick up an off-the-shelf Strela or Hellfire...

Facebook finally fully embraces GDPR – Generally Derailing Pages Recklessly

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: If you think Faecebook is important

What would you suggest that would allow friends and family to stay in touch with each other around the globe then?

Experts build AI joke machine that's about as funny as an Adam Sandler movie (that bad)

not.known@this.address Bronze badge
Big Brother

Re: Major Overreach

Since we meatsacks can't tell what is funny and what is not, how can we expect a machine to be able to - can we even judge if the machine is funny nor not? Maybe it is but we just don't get it.

Try telling a mother-in-law joke, or almost anything by Frank Carson, Jim Davidson or any other comic from the 70s and 80s and see how long it takes the Politically Correct mob to start baying for your blood...

UK judge appears in dock over Computer Misuse Act allegations

This post has been deleted by a moderator

New UK drone laws are on the way – but actual Drones Bill still in limbo

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: Complete non-enforcement...

"1963 was the last RC licence issued..."

Um, no. I inherited a small 2-channel glider my dad built when he built himself something bigger and I had a new licence for my 27MHz 2-ch Futaba set - and that was 1975. I don't think they had to be renewed every year but the last one was issued around the time CB became legal.

RIP to two 'naut legends: A moonwalker and a spacewalker

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: @bombastic bob

I don't think we abandoned our "launch technology" so much as lent it to other European nations who fscked the 2nd and 3rd stage systems and caused the end of the program. Our bit worked fine so the icon's for the other 2 :-)

You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: And that....

@ gbru26060

""I'm hoping that the self-driving cars will be cross between (and priced between) taxis and efficient public transport."

...and not prone to racist rants.


Hey! That's Organism talk! Machines aren't racist (although some may be Species-ist, and I certainly have my suspicions as to why my toast keeps coming out burnt...)[*]

[*] actually, it's nothing to do with dodgy hardware at all - it only seems to happen after my Better Half cremates her toast before I get to the toaster

HPE: Hell yeah, those job cuts worked out great… for our investors

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: People are what makes us different

HPE (Highly Paid Executives).

Fixed :-)

(I'm sure trolls - even the hide-under-a-bridge-and-scare-billygoats variety - could do a better job...)

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

"Jobs are a cost, not a benefit"

I think you're right - every worker should be sacked and replaced by an Outsourcing Manager who does absolutely f***-all except add extra layers of cost and paperwork for what his underlings do.

I vote we start by putting anyone who seriously[*] believes you have suggested a good business model in a submarine and outsourcing the OBOGS support role first...

[*] You *WERE* joking - weren't you??

Uber jams Arizona robo-car project into reverse gear after deadly smash

not.known@this.address Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Offshoring to France?

This on the same day Uber announce plans to build a development plant in Paris to develop flying taxis - is it just they have some people they are trying to move beyond prosecutors' reach (good luck with that, Uber - there's a little process called 'extradition' you might want to investigate), or do they hope that the Right-pondians won't notice the potential risks involved?

The US Military is doing quite well with autonomous rotorcraft as warzone delivery vehicles and I'd far rather trust them than a company that closes one site to open another rather than allowing people to learn from mistakes...

You've got to be kitten: Vet recruiter told to pay £1k after pinching info from ex-employer

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

hold on a minute...

...If I give my details to recruiter Jack Schmidt when he works for 'Jobz-R-Uz' and he takes my details when he sets up 'Employment Pimps UK', how come he can't claim it's all legal and above board because my initial contact was through him, regardless of which company he worked for at the time?

And was this fine because he misused people's personal information (to find them work... surely why they handed it over in the first place??) or as punishment for "stealing" the data from his previous employer? I guess the acid test would be, how much did the "victims" whose information he "stole" get, how much did his previous employer get, and how much did the 'court' keep?

(Disclaimer - I don't work for any of the parties involved, I'm certainly not a vet, and I'm sure there's little similarity between what vets do to pets and what employment agencies do to their 'clients'...)

Super Cali goes ballistic: mugshot site atrocious

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: OK

@ Chivo243

I'm not your normal invisible Troll but I just couldn't resist Downvoting you after that post. Still, I'm posting this reply anonymously so you'll never know who I am!

[and yes, I *do* know it's not posted Anonymously. It's my feeble attempt at humour...]

[and unfortunately it won't let me give you both an Upvote AND a Downvote. What sort of a shonky voting system is this??]

Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: Where do I buy a flame throwing robovac?

robot Wars design drawings?

There's a Haynes Manual for that!

Privacy group asks UK politicos to pinky swear not to use personal data for electioneering

not.known@this.address Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

It's your Count that Votes...

Good luck to anyone trying to use my online behaviour to work out how I will vote - I'm not quite sure how they will convert discussions on whether orbital mass drivers and god-rods or Near-C rocks are the best way to negotiate with Ine Givar, or what my Slightly Domesticated Attack Felines are doing, or how many ways my fellow humans have to FUBAR, into a usable guide to how I choose where to make my mark on the ballot paper...

Still, at least while they are busy doing that, it's stopping them getting up to other mischief...

'Alexa, find me a good patent lawyer' – Amazon sued for allegedly lifting tech of home assistant

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

I still have complete confidence in the US Patent System, Dave.

As I recall, HAL couldn't just understand natural language queries, he could lip-read too!

How long until some patent troll comes along and challenges Arthur C Clarke's estate on that one?

(on a slightly related note, did Clarke ever get any royalties from those nice people sticking satellites in geosynchronous orbits?)

Citrix joins the ‘reinvent the future of work’ chorus with a workspace app and security stuff

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Mainframes are such old hat you know...

Here, have a system that runs on boxes and holds data on disks that live in a special room miles from where any real work gets done...

Just think how much energy we could save if we stopped using Shi... sorry Citrix to run PCs as dumb terminals and simply went back to proper Dumb Terminals with nowt but Monitor and Keyboard and, for those unable to figure out or remember keyboard "shortcuts", a mouse.

ServiceNow goes for more Now, a bit less Service

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

I think they got the colours wrong

It should be an orange hood with a face inside and a voiceover from some kid called Stan...

UK's Royal Navy buys £13m mine-blasting robot boat

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

"The transmitters generate pings that trigger modern digital mines at a safe distance from either the roboat flotilla or actual human-carrying shipping."

Is range-gate capture really that impressive? The flyboys have been doing it for years, and to things that are moving a damn sight quicker than a stationary mine...

Mike Lynch's British court showdown v HPE pushed back to 2019

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Buying pigs in pokes often lets cats out of bags.

I can't help wondering if there was a meeting where one pointy-headed boss said to another "let's see what we've got, decide what we want to asset-strip and what we can then flog off to someone else for an overinflated price" and that's when they brought someone who actually had a clue in...

UK Ministry of Justice knocks down towers, brings IT BACK in-house

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Outsourcing - does it *ever* really work?

I'm curious - I mean, I know it allows the beancounters and Management to say they've reduced costs by cutting (directly employed) headcount but has any company actually managed to keep the same level of service as they had before they outsourced?

I will admit to being biased against Outsourcing since I've been there and got the teeshirt - and the service we were allowed to give after the contract going live was not as good as the one before (a minimum of one more level of paperwork & bureaucratic delays at the very least) but surely someone must have a long-term success story?

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

re "Hmm - you are wasted here..."

I guess the Downvoters don't have a sense of humour. (Or should that be humouT? :-P )

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: I'm not sure I believe you

Unfortunately Robert, I fear you might be mistaken. I don't think it's exaggerated at all - I've had the same sort of encounters and would had many more but for the fact that I tend to hide away at home and only venture out when absolutely necessary...

Equifax reveals full horror of that monstrous cyber-heist of its servers

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: And how...

Maybe try a 'proper' Bugger King shop rather than the overpriced abominations that you find at "service" stations (although I suppose DIS-service stations, whilst much more accurate, would not be good for their business model)?

I've never really found the cost of the meal* to be a particular reason for avoiding fast food chains - the taste and texture (or lack thereof) provide much more compelling reasons...

*Here in the UK we have a load of adverts telling us that "Kiddie X" wants "Product Y" from The Golden Arches but "Mommy Z" isn't sure that it's safe - cue Doctor Devidence showing us that the cows really are cows, the chickens really are chickens and the fries... funnily enough, they don't get mentioned (I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions on that).

I'm sure it's all perfectly safe really (as long as you're a penguin or have an infinite number of limbs) but I cannot help wondering if C.M.O.T. Dibbler might not have gotten in the food chain somewhere...

Legal tech startup tries to haul 123-Reg to court over 24-hour backup claims

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Ah, backups...

What about when you have to keep backups for a L-O-N-G time like the aerospace industry, where the standard used to be lifespan of the airframe + 10 years. It's all well and good keeping those lovely 2400' open-reel magnetic tapes but where are you going to find a tape deck to read them on? Or an old Mainframe that can understand what's on them... (or a programmer who can write an emulator to let something newer read them...)

No top-ups, please, I'm a millennial: Lightweight yoof shunning booze like never before

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

It was on telly so it must be right!

Last night's ITV news (can't remember if it was the local or national "show") had a couple of, um, interesting graphics; one said that just over 77% of women over 25 regularly drink more than the recommended limit while just over 22% of women under 25 don't drink as much as the recommended limit and they said this PROVES people's habits are changing...

Mind you, since roughly 65% of the under-25s cannot legally drink at all, I can't help wondering what this says about the "ladies" in the 18-25 range...

Take-off crash 'n' burn didn't kill the Concorde, it was just too bloody expensive to maintain

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

"Noisy" Concorde

I still remember some idiot on television talking to a reporter, bemoaning the way Concorde was louder than anything else that flew and should be banned immediately - during the interview, one flew almost directly overhead and he didn't even realise it was there!

Double double, soil and trouble, fire burn and heat shield bubble: NASA cracks rover, has dirty talk with ESA

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: get those rocks back to our home world.

"It'll probably also have to carry enough fuel to brake into Earth orbit"

Solar-powered ion engine. You don't even need to mess about sending radioactive chunks whizzing around someone else's back yard (unlike V'ger ect). Sorted :-)

Google founder Sergey Brin promises to protect humanity from AI

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

On interrupt, decrement the counter to zero.

Or is that the wrong sort of AI?

Mannequin Skywalker takes high ground on Bezos-backed rocket

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: Mannequin Skywalker

I thought it was because of the wooden acting (well, standing ./+ running around whining) of the character in the Prequels...

..which I always considered a bit of an insult to the 80's movie with the (Jefferson) Starship soundtrack (ooh, lookit - another space link!)

Blighty stuffs itself in Galileo airlock and dares Europe to pull the lever

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Two words - Black Knight

A British rocket that worked well and would have made an excellent First Stage for what became (eventually) Ariane... if only the French and German 2nd and 3rd stages hadn't failed so miserably.

But don't worry, the revisionists amongst the Remainers and the EU will soon edit history to show that the UK is going to be a total loss without them (in which case, why were the European aerospace companies so keen to buy up all the UK's manufacturing and design companies?)

That's no moon... er, that's an asteroid. And it'll be your next and final home, spacefarer

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Asteroid Ships

"Barnacle Bull the Sailor" and the "Starstormers" series (the latter by Nicholas Fisk) spring to mind...

Windrush immigration papers scandal is a big fat GDPR fail for UK.gov

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Won't someone think of the children... doing Family Trees!

Even if central government couldn't find a use for these papers, they could have been scanned by the people at Kew and kept for those interested in researching their family history.

But then the people in power at the time who ordered the records destroyed wouldn't have a sh***y stick to beat the current government with - funny how the Opposition can't remember who gave the orders and keep blaming everybody else (as usual)... if I was inclined to be cynical, I might suspect it was deliberate...

Even Microsoft's lost interest in Windows Phone: Skype and Yammer apps killed

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

At least Micro$haft pretends to care about interoperability and legacy users, not like those nice people over at crApple who want to redesign everything in their image...only they aren't sure what image they actually want to enforce.

Why else would the money-grubbing company redesign practically everything from power cables and data leads to protective sleeves every time they bring out a new model? (Seriously, what other reasons are there except to screw as much money out of their consumers as they possibly can?)

State spy agencies 'outsource surveillance' to foreign partners – campaign group

not.known@this.address Bronze badge
Big Brother

So now the people trying to keep us safe are the bad guys?

And while our "public-minded" politicians make themselves look good releasing details of security operations and practices just to screw over the opposition, the real Bad Guys will be laughing as the big-mouthed, small-brained idiots supposedly responsible for our safety reveal almost everything in the interests of 'openness' and 'transparency'.

And whatever secrets the various groups of politicians don't manage to give away, groups like Privacy International will ruthlessly hunt down in their efforts to "safeguard" us from the evilness (for a given value of 'evilness') of the Security services.

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

What's a bribe?

Used to work in a Computer Room (before they all became "Data Centres") and got asked by one of the Hardware engineers why we never wore the teeshirts or used the cups etc they gave us?

"What teeshirts? What cups?" I asked, not having a scoobies what he was talking about.

"We've brought in loads of stuff with [company name] all over them and you ungrateful buggers have never used any of it - you've never even said 'thank you'!" he explained.

"Um no, still no idea, sorry Steve." said I and he went away muttering under his breath about ungrateful Operators and whether an arm designed to move a 3480 cartridge from storage slot to tape drive could be used to stuff said Operators into that same drive...

Back again for a different problem the next night, he came bearing some nice shiny mugs and the explanation for the whole sorry mess. His boss had 'phoned our boss to find out what had happened to all our shiny little gifts...

Apparently "These are for the Operators" in Engineerese translates to "Give these to your mates you pilfering PHB" in Managementish.

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

"Turns out Vanilla Ice was not so popular in Thailand back in the day..."

He was popular here? I must'a missed that... thankfully!

Facebook faces foe formation in facial fingering fight

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

"They don.t exist here, and anyway, the images would become obsolete in a few years"

Unless you have reconstructive surgery or are badly injured, the underlying structure of your face won't change much over the years - and you only need to look at the accuracy of "aged" photos in missing persons cases to know how accurate they can estimate what you will look like x years after the 'last known good' photo of you was taken.

SpaceX finally Falcon flings NASA's TESS into orbit

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

"Such landings are in danger of becoming routine, a tribute to the engineering involved."

Some things should NEVER be considered routine, at least while using small numbers of slightly tamed giant fireworks as launch vehicles. We've lost too many pioneers and had too many near-misses due to complacency over 'routine' operations.

Wait until we have a reliable means to get 'em out and bring 'em back (in a hurry or earlier than planned, if/when necessary) before saying it's routine, please.

What's silent but violent and costs $250m? Yes, it's Lockheed Martin's super-quiet, supersonic X-plane for NASA

not.known@this.address Bronze badge

Re: SIG!

"The fuel tank vulnerability was already well known and should have been addressed long before the Paris crash."

What, by fitting rubber mats as spall liners inside the tanks like British Airways did, even though it added a significant amount of weight and therefore increased fuels costs? Apparently a few BA Concordes suffered wing strikes but the liners did their jobs and the aircraft survived. Unlike Air France who decided the bottom line was more important.

Not quite sure which part of Arabia was crossed when flying across the Atlantic between Heathrow, Charles de Gaulle and John F Kennedy airports though...


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019