* Posts by not.known@this.address

247 posts • joined 31 Jul 2009

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US and UK Amazon workers get a wage hike – maybe they'll go to the movies, by themselves

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Trollface

Re: I Say!

"the rest of" the UK is inferred even if not explicitly stated.

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UK.gov asks biz for ideas on how to 'overcome' data privacy concerns in NHS

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Coat

Lost in translation... what they really mean.

"...digital tools or solutions that can be used to improve healthcare provision or clinical decision-making..." means empowering beancounters and Manglement to overturn whatever the medical staff say and order the cheapest possible option ('improve healthcare provision') without having to go through the long and dreary hassle of building up the real-world knowledge and experience that would make them capable of safely controlling someone's healthcare ('clinical decision-making').

"...patient-led management..." means allowing the patient to decide what they think is best for them - so the NHS bill for painkillers and methadone will skyrocket in the short term and then tail off as the patients medicate themselves into drug-induced comas and shortly thereafter remove themselves from the NHS lists by overdosing. And it also means hospitals no longer need to employ Doctors on vastly inflated salaries* because the patients, in collaboration with the beancounters and manglement, will be controlling their own care.

*Your definition of "vastly inflated" probably differs somewhat from that of a politician...

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Perfect timing for a two-bank TITSUP: Totally Inexcusable They've Stuffed Up Payday

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Pirate

Re: The future is coming!

Pete 2, most of the banks support REMAINING IN the EU so would be doing all they can to publicise that aspect of things if that was their aim.

But as they want people to forget that it's the oh-so-smart, oh-so-wonderful banking institutions that have been responsible for every financial collapse since they were allowed to set their own rules, they will carry on doing everything they can to minimise publicity while maximising profit.

Just like normal.

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Sunny Cali goes ballistic, this ransomware is atrocious. Even our IT bill will be something quite ferocious

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Black Helicopters

"Never forget your (insert name of weapon system here) was made by the lowest bidder"

"The US Navy does not strike me as the kind of organization that will hook into civilian IT for potential cost savings"

Tell me honestly, Pascal - did you manage to say that without laughing? If the Congresscritters thought it would save a few cents they would probably demand the Navy manage with a couple of abacuses between the fleets...

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Braking bad: Mitsubishi recalls 68k SUVs over buggy software

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Stop

What did we do before they invented ABS?

Oh that's right, we had to keep our eyes open and think about how fast we were going and what was in front of us... So while the silicon brain is having a hissyfit and not doing what it should be, what the heck is the meatsack behind the steering wheel doing?

I can see the ABS locking might be a bit of a problem since the car might skid but are people really relying completely on the automatics to do their braking for them? If they can't control their vehicle then they shouldn't be trusted to drive it... well, aim it anyway. It really doesn't sound like they are driving at all...

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Brexit campaigner AggregateIQ challenges UK's first GDPR notice

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Holmes

retroactive lawmaking at it's finest.

Wasn't there some sort of protection against being prosecuted if there was clear evidence that the law you "broke" was invented *after* you committed your crime?

Or do the (literally) "Get Out Of Jail Free" rules only apply if you are a politician or a Big Business?

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iFixit engineers have an L of a time pulling apart Apple's iPhone XS

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Facepalm

Re: Slavish followers

Um, I wonder if Apple ever heard of the De Havilland Comet jet airliner?

Rounding corners to relieve stress is NOT a new innovation and as an apprentice I was taught to drill small holes before cutting material to prevent stress building up in sharp corners.

I also like the revisionist history of the PC as well - although my colleagues didn't really appreciate my splorting coffee all over the desk...

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How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank

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Black Helicopters

"Press 'F1' to Continue" and "Click 'OK' to continue"

IBM PCs and their "Keyboard not found - press F1 to continue" and its very irritating cousin "Mouse not found, click 'OK' to continue" are funny on the way that clonking your funnybone or touching an HT lead when messing around under your car bonnet with the engine running, is funny. As in, you have to laugh because screaming obscenities loudly is not considered acceptable behaviour in the modern work environment.

As the OP has obviously never experienced either of those errors, we should take pity on him or her and explain that you could swap the "broken" keyboard or mouse to another PC and all would be fine on that one, and the keyboard or mouse that had been working without problem 'over there' would also give the same error when attached to the offending machine.

As a Conehead in a previous life, I found percussive maintenance often resolved the issue...

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Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

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Re: Foul Language?

Since we swear like [EXPLETIVE DELETED] sailors, I really, really want to know what you ****'d out!

Flippin' heck, just previewed this reply and I see No20's been at it again. Pinback, put the Beachball down!

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Techie sues ex-bosses, claims their AI avatar tech was faked – and he was allegedly beaten up after crying foul

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Linux

Re: Needs work

"Also, what if the user is in fact a ghast? That's an untapped market."

I see a Gug, I see a Ghast, is Lovecraft now mainstream? At last!

(Drat, I wanted a Shoggoth but all I got was this giant penguin. Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!)

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UK.gov ploughs cash into creaky police technology

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Yes, *UK* Police

Once the Thin Blue Line in the rest of the UK realises how easy this will make the lives of their English compatriots, they will be falling over themselves to adopt it. Well, the men and women who join up in a desire to make the country a nice, safe for the rest of us to live in possibly not so much, but certainly those holding the purse-strings.

No need to talk to the public any more, just direct them to the online reporting system. So no need to have all those police stations cluttering up the cityscapes, sell them off and put the criminals under house arrest since we've got no cells. And if we can do it for the less-serious crims, then we can extend it to the slightly worse ones. And when that doesn't go too wrong*, we can expand the scope a little further. Then we can sell off all the prisons as well. And build a few new golf courses and country clubs.

*Care in the community is the prime example of this - when it works, it's a good thing. Unfortunately not everybody is able to behave in the manner necessary to live in a relatively uncontrolled environment.

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Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi

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Re: The problem

What Spanner said.

And how is it going to cope when it starts coming across things like quotations in foreign languages? Convert them to English even if the whole point of it being there is to inform the reader that the speaker *might not* be an honest, deity-fearing English Gentleman but could be one of them damn furriners in dsguise...

It's bad enough I have to suffer spiel chuckers that try to change every spelling to Leftpondian without them starting on grammar and sentence structure too.

Here's a really radical idea - how about teaching children how to do this properly at school, rather than filling their heads with trendy nonsense like phonetics to teach spelling.

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Sysadmin trained his offshore replacements, sat back, watched ex-employer's world burn

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Re: This smells like BS.

Steve Button,

I have. Especially after we had a large number of calls from one of the buildings we looked after where a large number of PCs were suddenly crashing and some were not rebooting.

It turned out that two of "our" onsite engineers were doing PAT testing and hadn't thought about all the possible effects of pulling the plugs without shutting the machines down first. After that, we made sure to shut everything down before letting them loose - even after their Manager gave them a rather stern talking-to.

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not.known@this.address
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Re: One move and we shoot

Quote:

aka sacking, meaning retirement benefits are void

In a civilised society, that can't happen except for gross indecency or criminality..

(end quote)

It's amazing how one person's "extremely serious misuse of corporate IT facilities" is another person's "nothing to see here, move along" when They decide They want to get rid of you... and when They have a ££££s/hr lawyer and you have yourself it's quite likely the outcome will NOT be in your favour.

Industrial tribunals aren't any help when They define "Gross Misconduct" as "ever used any computer at your place of work for anything at all not directly work related" when They know the Client site you worked at specifically allowed such use outside of working hours, and that you *and all your colleagues* did so... Strangely, none of my ex-colleagues were dismissed, even those who had been downloading American movies and TV shows before their European release date or who had large amounts of, um, dubiously-sourced music on their work PC... "That will be investigated separately and has no bearing on your case", I was told. By said ££££s/hr lawyer.

But then none of my colleagues had been TUPE'd across from the same original employer, and my Ts&Cs (and salary) where somewhat better than theirs... although I never did figure out quite how they found that out.

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Crooks swipe plutonium, cesium from US govt nuke wranglers' car. And yes, it's still missing

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Unmarked cases stolen froman SUV in a hotel car park?

Wow - never saw that one coming. Expensive (or just expensive-looking) cases unattended in a car park over night got stolen?

I can only imagine the disappointment on their faces when they realised it wasn't stuff they could easily sell on... it's probably been dumped somewhere as they couldn't sell it. Either that, or "Here ya go Meemaw, a nice shiny rock for your mantelpiece!"...

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British Airways' latest Total Inability To Support Upwardness of Planes* caused by Amadeus system outage

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There is a bit more to it than a few sums, and I think people would rather be late to their destination than Late as in "the Late DentArthurDent".

They could, of course, go back to the old-fashioned way of doing the load calcs but (a) it would take longer, (b) people would need to remember how to do real mathematics instead of just typing in numbers and (c) people might realise automating everything might not be such a really good idea after all...

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Fix this faxing hell! NHS told to stop hanging onto archaic tech

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Just a thought or two.

If a fax goes from your machine to the destination machine down a phone line, how easy is it to intercept?

How many Viruses are spread via fax machines?

If a scanned document goes out over the Internet via email, how easy is it to intercept?

How many viruses are spread via emails?

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I see you're trying to leak a file! US military seeks Clippy-like AI to stop future Snowdens

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Terminator

"I'm sorry Citizen, you'r not cleared for that!"

What happens when The Computer decides the dumb meatsacks cannot be trusted with any of it and withholds ALL access?

Alpha Complex, here we come...

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Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

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Re: Corporate Security

I Upvoted you as you've identified a good use for the App and related systems - I suspect the downvoters are either too cynical and paranoid (yes, such *is* possible) to understand that everything (even politicians and Big Brother apps like this) can have a positive use or are Management types who don't want the plebs thinking they should be getting anything good at all out of this.

You can get "card protectors" that (allegedly) stop people activating your contactless cards - does anyone make pouches that do the same for Smartphones?

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IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

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Big Brother

The 'other way' is even worse...

Many years ago, we had a visit from some of the higher-ups normally based Oop Narth.

It's a bit unnerving for a relatively young Desktop Support technician to be recognised by the 3rd most powerful man in the UK organisation with the words "Oh that was *you*, was it?"...

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Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

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As seen in *which* Air France crash?

The one where the autopilot incorrectly interpreted an approach path into a forest as an approach path into an airport?

The one where an airliner stalled because the pitot tubes iced over, the pilots failed to understand how slowly they were flying and the autopilot handed control over to the meatsacks because it thought they had a better idea of what was going on?

The one where they lost a Concorde, crew and passengers because the accountants refused to fit fuel tank liners?

There is no excuse for not paying attention to the road if you are driving, or even if you are "only" providing a safety backup to an automated system. But if you really think automated systems *always* stopping if an obstacle doesn't move is a good idea, I hope you never meet a Bad Guy standing in the middle of the road in the middle of the night...

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Audi chief exec arrested over Dieselgate car emissions scandal

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Bureaucracy rules...

Can anyone explain the "logic" behind emissions tests which require an infernal combustion engine - either petrol or diesel - to be stuck in a small area with no through-flow of air for cooling while the tester has to rev the guts out of it? Cos as well as no cooling (which isn't good for the car or the environment), there's also nothing moving all those nasty emissions away from the poor buggers doing the testing, and the (audio) volume in the enclosed space is not going to do their hearing much good either - they can't wear ear defenders as you need one to thrash the engine while another reads the test machine and the two need to be able to shout to each other...

And shouldn't someone be liable to refund us for the fuel wasted whilst our vehicles are mistreated like this just so some pencil-neck can claim to care about the environment?

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Cloud-in-a-box? Bo-ring! How about cloud-in-a-tank?

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Re: I'm likely being highly ignorant....

Korev asked

"Which shell do you think they'd use?"

APFSDSDUBSOD? (Armour-Piercing Fin-Stabilized Discarding Sabot Depleted Uranium Blue Screen Of Death)

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Computer Misuse Act charge against British judge thrown out

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Black and white or various shades of grey?

I always thought the Computer Misuse Act was pretty clear - if you had no legal reason to access something on a computer, it would be illegal for you to do so. It's like a speed limit - either you stick at or below the limit and within the law, or you break the limit and the law.

How long until we see prosecutions for speeding thrown out because the driver was only above the limit for 9 minutes?

Maybe the judge who made this somewhat misguided decision should reconsider the precedent he is setting?

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Astroboffins trace mysterious noise from hard rock in space

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Alien

Monotonous background noise in outer space?

Oh great, they've discovered Space Elevator Music...

Or is it Erich Zahn just getting started?

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England's top judge lashes out at 'Science Museum' grade court IT

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There is at least one big advantage to hardcopy.

It's a lot harder to pretend you actually said something else when it's printed out and anyone can read it...

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Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions

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Re: Lira?

You beat me to it! We probably shouldn't Panda to bad jokes though....

Bravo!

You lot are much Brava than me...

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Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

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re: PEBCAK

see also PEBCAM/PEBMAC (Problem exists between Chair and Monitor / Monitor And Chair) for display-related issues and the "ID-ten-T" error for problems that are due to neither hardware or software issues.

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Tor-forker Joshua Yabut cuffed for armoured personnel carrier joyride

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El Reg 1, world media 0

M577 is the Tactical Operations Center command variant of the M113.

It is NOT a fscking tank!

It's less of a threat than if the muppet had stolen a Caterpillar digger or bulldozer and gone on a rampage with that.

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Calm your conspiracy theories, latest glimpse reveals Planet Nine may just be a pipe dream

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Alien

Eat your heart out, Copernicus - the Flat-Earthers were right!

There is no ninth planet, and certainly no tenth. And no intelligent life outside the solar system. I know this cos my mate told me last night.

Yuggoth is a small town outside Guildford, right?

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'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird

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Go

Re: Getting more and more off topic ...

Charles 9, you obviously live near some interesting motorways/freeways... the ones I am familiar with only have one slip road or on/off-ramp at a time, there are no 4-way-stops when vehicles are (legally) doing 50-70mph.

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Visa Europe fscks up Friday night with other GDPR: 'God Dammit, Payment Refused'

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You-all might be joking but I wouldn't be totally surprised if they did end up blaming GDPR. If this doesn't affect the rest of the planet then someone's gonna have to find something else pretty damn interesting to blame...

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Capture your late-night handbrake turns with this 'autonomous' car-chasing camera drone

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Mushroom

Nothing new.

Various organisations have been using these for years - although they are normally attached to rocket motors and a few kilos of HE or other assorted noisemakers and used for taking out AFVs, softskins and the odd aircraft that doesn't get out the way quickly enough...

Although I believe can be quite challenging to pop into your local Wallyworld and pick up an off-the-shelf Strela or Hellfire...

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Facebook finally fully embraces GDPR – Generally Derailing Pages Recklessly

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Re: If you think Faecebook is important

What would you suggest that would allow friends and family to stay in touch with each other around the globe then?

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Experts build AI joke machine that's about as funny as an Adam Sandler movie (that bad)

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Big Brother

Re: Major Overreach

Since we meatsacks can't tell what is funny and what is not, how can we expect a machine to be able to - can we even judge if the machine is funny nor not? Maybe it is but we just don't get it.

Try telling a mother-in-law joke, or almost anything by Frank Carson, Jim Davidson or any other comic from the 70s and 80s and see how long it takes the Politically Correct mob to start baying for your blood...

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UK judge appears in dock over Computer Misuse Act allegations

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New UK drone laws are on the way – but actual Drones Bill still in limbo

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Re: Complete non-enforcement...

"1963 was the last RC licence issued..."

Um, no. I inherited a small 2-channel glider my dad built when he built himself something bigger and I had a new licence for my 27MHz 2-ch Futaba set - and that was 1975. I don't think they had to be renewed every year but the last one was issued around the time CB became legal.

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RIP to two 'naut legends: A moonwalker and a spacewalker

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Mushroom

Re: @bombastic bob

I don't think we abandoned our "launch technology" so much as lent it to other European nations who fscked the 2nd and 3rd stage systems and caused the end of the program. Our bit worked fine so the icon's for the other 2 :-)

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You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

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Terminator

Re: And that....

@ gbru26060

""I'm hoping that the self-driving cars will be cross between (and priced between) taxis and efficient public transport."

...and not prone to racist rants.

"

Hey! That's Organism talk! Machines aren't racist (although some may be Species-ist, and I certainly have my suspicions as to why my toast keeps coming out burnt...)[*]

[*] actually, it's nothing to do with dodgy hardware at all - it only seems to happen after my Better Half cremates her toast before I get to the toaster

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HPE: Hell yeah, those job cuts worked out great… for our investors

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Trollface

Re: People are what makes us different

HPE (Highly Paid Executives).

Fixed :-)

(I'm sure trolls - even the hide-under-a-bridge-and-scare-billygoats variety - could do a better job...)

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not.known@this.address
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"Jobs are a cost, not a benefit"

I think you're right - every worker should be sacked and replaced by an Outsourcing Manager who does absolutely f***-all except add extra layers of cost and paperwork for what his underlings do.

I vote we start by putting anyone who seriously[*] believes you have suggested a good business model in a submarine and outsourcing the OBOGS support role first...

[*] You *WERE* joking - weren't you??

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Uber jams Arizona robo-car project into reverse gear after deadly smash

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Black Helicopters

Offshoring to France?

This on the same day Uber announce plans to build a development plant in Paris to develop flying taxis - is it just they have some people they are trying to move beyond prosecutors' reach (good luck with that, Uber - there's a little process called 'extradition' you might want to investigate), or do they hope that the Right-pondians won't notice the potential risks involved?

The US Military is doing quite well with autonomous rotorcraft as warzone delivery vehicles and I'd far rather trust them than a company that closes one site to open another rather than allowing people to learn from mistakes...

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You've got to be kitten: Vet recruiter told to pay £1k after pinching info from ex-employer

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hold on a minute...

...If I give my details to recruiter Jack Schmidt when he works for 'Jobz-R-Uz' and he takes my details when he sets up 'Employment Pimps UK', how come he can't claim it's all legal and above board because my initial contact was through him, regardless of which company he worked for at the time?

And was this fine because he misused people's personal information (to find them work... surely why they handed it over in the first place??) or as punishment for "stealing" the data from his previous employer? I guess the acid test would be, how much did the "victims" whose information he "stole" get, how much did his previous employer get, and how much did the 'court' keep?

(Disclaimer - I don't work for any of the parties involved, I'm certainly not a vet, and I'm sure there's little similarity between what vets do to pets and what employment agencies do to their 'clients'...)

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Super Cali goes ballistic: mugshot site atrocious

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Trollface

Re: OK

@ Chivo243

I'm not your normal invisible Troll but I just couldn't resist Downvoting you after that post. Still, I'm posting this reply anonymously so you'll never know who I am!

[and yes, I *do* know it's not posted Anonymously. It's my feeble attempt at humour...]

[and unfortunately it won't let me give you both an Upvote AND a Downvote. What sort of a shonky voting system is this??]

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Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

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Terminator

Re: Where do I buy a flame throwing robovac?

robot Wars design drawings?

There's a Haynes Manual for that!

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Privacy group asks UK politicos to pinky swear not to use personal data for electioneering

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Black Helicopters

It's your Count that Votes...

Good luck to anyone trying to use my online behaviour to work out how I will vote - I'm not quite sure how they will convert discussions on whether orbital mass drivers and god-rods or Near-C rocks are the best way to negotiate with Ine Givar, or what my Slightly Domesticated Attack Felines are doing, or how many ways my fellow humans have to FUBAR, into a usable guide to how I choose where to make my mark on the ballot paper...

Still, at least while they are busy doing that, it's stopping them getting up to other mischief...

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'Alexa, find me a good patent lawyer' – Amazon sued for allegedly lifting tech of home assistant

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Boffin

I still have complete confidence in the US Patent System, Dave.

As I recall, HAL couldn't just understand natural language queries, he could lip-read too!

How long until some patent troll comes along and challenges Arthur C Clarke's estate on that one?

(on a slightly related note, did Clarke ever get any royalties from those nice people sticking satellites in geosynchronous orbits?)

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Citrix joins the ‘reinvent the future of work’ chorus with a workspace app and security stuff

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FAIL

Mainframes are such old hat you know...

Here, have a system that runs on boxes and holds data on disks that live in a special room miles from where any real work gets done...

Just think how much energy we could save if we stopped using Shi... sorry Citrix to run PCs as dumb terminals and simply went back to proper Dumb Terminals with nowt but Monitor and Keyboard and, for those unable to figure out or remember keyboard "shortcuts", a mouse.

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ServiceNow goes for more Now, a bit less Service

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I think they got the colours wrong

It should be an orange hood with a face inside and a voiceover from some kid called Stan...

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UK's Royal Navy buys £13m mine-blasting robot boat

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Boffin

"The transmitters generate pings that trigger modern digital mines at a safe distance from either the roboat flotilla or actual human-carrying shipping."

Is range-gate capture really that impressive? The flyboys have been doing it for years, and to things that are moving a damn sight quicker than a stationary mine...

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