* Posts by SirTainleyBarking

246 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Jul 2009

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Investors to be allowed to sue Volkswagen over emission row

SirTainleyBarking

Re: UK Owners should be banding together and suing VW

Running "lean" on a diesel would mean reduced power. Diesels run lean by design and are made with knock in mind

Caterham Seven 160 review: The Raspberry Pi of motoring

SirTainleyBarking
Thumb Up

Re: Light Car Challenge

Apart from the obvious Caterhams and Morgans, the more "regular" vehicles that are below the magic Tonne are things like Citroen C1, Ford Kak, Toyota iQ and Smart Cars.

Not my idea of fun.

Now if I could get my hands on a nice 3 wheeler Morgan .....Yum

Samsung: 'We'll nick Nokia's global mobe crown this year'

SirTainleyBarking

Well Samsung certainly are trying to shift product in the cheap n simple end of the market. Tesco selling an unlocked handset and free sim card of your choice for under a tenner.

These ain't big, and certainly ain't clever (in an added functions sort of way) but I bought a couple as a cheap standby for me and a simple emergency phone home device for the youngest.

They make phone calls, and if they get trashed I'm not going to lose sleep over it

Volkswagen catches electric Beetle

SirTainleyBarking
Paris Hilton

Beetle meets PT Cruiser. It looks a lot better than it has a right to

'Why the hell are we paying elite crypto crackers £25k?'

SirTainleyBarking
Headmaster

Why are we paying cyber security experts what we pay passport-stampers?

Because the true cost is £75K/year.

Why?

Well to reference the old cold war joke, they need two others to keep an eye on the dangerous intellectual

Think your CV is crap? Your interview skills are worse

SirTainleyBarking
WTF?

All for a bit of cleavage

I was interviewed by a lady who thought a corset like ensemble was the height of office chic.

But frankly if its early in the morning and I've travelled a long way to get there, I can do without that staring at me. It said volumes about the company, and I think my enthusiasm showed through in spades after that. I'll echo the many comments above that say that an interview is a two way process. I've walked away from jobs where I think the company come across as arses.

Life is really too short

Go back to the future with Red Dwarf

SirTainleyBarking
Thumb Up

Cue the quotes

Cat: "Forget red - let's go all the way up to brown alert!"

Kryten: "There's no such thing as a brown alert sir."

Cat: "You won't be saying that in a minute!"

Threesome ends in arrest as wife struck by pair of TVs

SirTainleyBarking
Thumb Up

Be sure to use a video projector instead

Problem solved!

US.gov: We aren't hiding any space aliens

SirTainleyBarking
Holmes

They would say that wouldn't they?

Though if you looked at most of the wannabe politicians over there you'd swear that they weren't on this planet

Pass the bacofoil, my heads getting chilly

Smart meters: Nothing can possibly go wrong, says gov

SirTainleyBarking
Pint

Valves are alive and well

Provided you know where to look.

If you have a microwave in the kitchen, you will be using a high power valve transmitter to heat up your pizza. Google: Magnetron.

For other uses such as high end audio equipment, guitar amps, and the inevitable amateur radio uses, replacements for all the common old valves are available from either China or Russia.

Binned PCs were stuffed with MoD and Sun staffers' privates

SirTainleyBarking
Facepalm

All sorts of stuff out there. Its more common than you think

The father in law picks up bits and pieces from the recycling area of the local dump. I helped him build a cheap PC to run linux on for simple stuff like email and web surfing. He wasn't after anything fancy like a quad core full on gaming machine by any means.

One of the drives he got hold of hadn't been wiped either. Unfortunately the previous owners who weren't either attractive or in their first flush of youth were into "Ahem" making their own movies.

That drive was destroyed pretty quickly, and another substituted that had had a re-install of XP before disposal. Much better

Its not exactly rocket science to either format the disk or do a re-install from the CD that came with the computer. For most purposes that 's good enough

Currys, PC World websites slated by punters

SirTainleyBarking
WTF?

I'd agree about the B&Q site

Its Firkin awful. More biased to selling you a fitted kitchen, rather than the pot of paint you actually wanted. I've found its actually quicker to drive to the store and wander around it aimlessly for a while than actually go online

Would you let your car insurer snoop on you for a better deal?

SirTainleyBarking
Black Helicopters

On the face of it

It all sounds plausible, and a win - win situation for all concerned.

However the same reasoning was put out for ID cards, so forgive my suspicion about this sort of tech

Brit boffins' bendy bamboo bike breakthrough

SirTainleyBarking
Coat

So instead of dogs chasing it

Cyclists will have to dodge packs of marauding Pandas

DNS hijack hits The Register: All well

SirTainleyBarking
Devil

Hmmm Tasty

4 Million on the scale, and doesn't seem to be a nice foodstuff

http://youtu.be/PBl2867xcHs

More like a chemical weapon

Ohio man cuffed for shagging inflatable pool raft

SirTainleyBarking
Coat

Based upon whom?

Lilo Ferrari?

IGMC

Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

SirTainleyBarking
Unhappy

They pay you?

When I think of all the free samples I've disposed of over the years

US Marines not allowed to fart in Afghanistan

SirTainleyBarking
WTF?

Health and safety

Well if the locals were trying to blow me up or shoot me, I suspect I'd be doing a lot more than just blowing air biscuits

Hungry bidders pick up Comet's blood trail

SirTainleyBarking
Headmaster

Restructuring specialists and private equity investors

A long winded way of saying "Asset Strippers"

Japanese erections named 'Bollox', 'Wonder Device'

SirTainleyBarking
Coat

All it needs now

Is a fridge by SMEG.

Anyone seen my coat?

SirTainleyBarking
Coat

Can their buildings

Be made big enough to accomodate a ball room....?

California Mrs cuffed in drugged-hubby todger slash case

SirTainleyBarking
WTF?

Throw the book at her

Lt Jeff Nightengale of the Garden Grove Police Department said police have "nothing more than the divorce proceeding" as a possible motive for the attack.

Is this surprising if he was married to a woman who is prepared to do this sort of damage to him with that degree of premeditation.

If she wanted "Revenge" she should have lawyered up and done it through the courts

Seriously any person who is prepared to disfigure a spouse or other human being to this degree regardless of genders involved needs to go away for a long time

US Marine gets date with Meg Griffin on YouTube

SirTainleyBarking
Megaphone

A gentleman never kisses and tells

But Marines LOVE a good bit of gossip

SirTainleyBarking
Pirate

Faint heart never won a fair maiden

Well done that man

Cameron backs public inquiry into NotW hacking claims

SirTainleyBarking
Holmes

Purge all the crooks from the Government?

There would be no one left!

Mystery of David Attenborough's garden skull cracked

SirTainleyBarking
Childcatcher

Hence the Euphemism

of "Long Pig"

Wallabies battle cattle farts

SirTainleyBarking
Flame

Its not quite as simple as that

If the whole of the earth was decent arable land, there could be a case for that. However even in this country there are acres of productive land such as the Welsh hills, which are only suitable for growing fairly low yields of grass. Sheep are very good at making this sort of thing work, as are animals such as goats in areas such as sub saharan africa where the only thing in abundance is woody scrub.

There is an argument, however, to decrease meat consumption to a degree, and that I'd broadly support provided bacon was supplied on a regular basis

Women's gaydar (for men) improves when ovulating

SirTainleyBarking
Holmes

Since When

The probability of achieving Horizontal Happy time is much better with Hetero Women

Bangalore orders Street View spy cars to stop it

SirTainleyBarking

Knowing the traffic chaos

That is a feature of all major Indian cities, The stopping of Streetview cars by the local authorities is a bit pointless. They wouldn't be going anywhere fast anyway

Wikipedia awash in 'frothy by-product' of US sexual politics

SirTainleyBarking
Pint

Sounds like a brand of

Real Ale.

A cheeky little number, with a creamy yet slightly nutty aftertaste

Rogue software consultant's vast stash of DIY explosives

SirTainleyBarking
Mushroom

You're forgetting that

A terrorist is a terrorist and therefore a bad person when He's not on our side.

A Bank Robber on the otherhand is just an entrepreneur, whose way of making his money is probably more honest than most corporate institutions. Especially the ones he targeted

NHS trust issues nurse jub flash alert

SirTainleyBarking
Paris Hilton

I hate to say this

In my hospital experience, for Every Abi Titmuss, there are at least two dozen Jo Brands*.

Prehaps its not such a bad idea to enforce a strong dress code after all

*Both ex Nurses, so actually quite on topic for a change

Video vigilantes in trouble again

SirTainleyBarking
WTF?

Post anonymously?

"The law says that it should only be disclosed where necessary, such as for the purposes of crime detection, and not merely for entertainment"

Well thats Police, Camera action and all the other clones of, that infest late night TV stuffed then

Inside the 'funky' history of Groupon's biggest shareholder

SirTainleyBarking
Thumb Up

Bang On

Make it so

Boffins develop working MALE PILL

SirTainleyBarking
Mushroom

Nothing wrong

if you don't mind the rustling, although I'd advise avoiding a packet thats had salt and vinegar flavour in it

Barnsley clamps down on foul-mouthed fu*king locals

SirTainleyBarking
Devil

Do I know you?

You've obviously met my in laws

Naked cyclist streaks through Suffolk village

SirTainleyBarking
Joke

If they wanted to stop him doing this again

Don't bother with the £500 fine, just confiscate his bicycle seat

Oz paper in todger-based trivia quiz outrage

SirTainleyBarking
WTF?

Hail the New Puritans

The Aussies will start putting skirts around table legs soon.

It was silly and a little juvenile, but frankly most of the people doing the quiz wouldn't have actually noticed the magic wand references.

Dell intros world's thinnest 15in laptop PC

SirTainleyBarking
FAIL

For Mac Keyboard

Read Commodore PET Circa Mid 70's. It just looks naff

Explosion in iPad factory kills two, injures more

SirTainleyBarking
Flame

Superlight dust explosion

If you don't wish to buy product that expose the workers to that risk, I'm afraid you'll have to give up:

Wheat and wheat products (Grain Silo's have been going "Boom" for years and years)

Custard Powder (I remember the Birds custard factory going up some years back)

Powdered milk

Oh and don't foret all the petrochemical refineries, storeage depots and chemical works that have gone splat over the years either

Fiat 500 TwinAir

SirTainleyBarking

Well I hate to break it to you

But you probably are.

And before anyone else chips in. Solo Don't count

SirTainleyBarking
Go

Ahh that would be the reverse fuel consumption figure

Of Gallons per mile rather than MPG

Dixons warns it's getting worse

SirTainleyBarking
Thumb Up

This in spades

Treat people like a customer, not like a piece of crap and yes they'll come back.

You'll always find people to pay a bit extra to be able to see the product before buying and give it a quick try out. Its the obvious business model

An example:

6 months ago, cooker blew up, and was too old to get parts. Shopping in Currys, Disinterest from the staff even though we were looking to spend a few hundred quid with them.

John Lewis? Much better, come in have a good prod and poke, "You've brought some oven trays to try for size? Good idea, go right ahead, just give us a shout if you want anything"

They even price match . They got the business, currys didn't.

They have also got business for other stuff as well after we just got fed up with DSG Group's attitude. I refuse to go there now

Steady as she goes at Capita

SirTainleyBarking
FAIL

Crapita

Don't they run TV Licencing. Sounds about right

ACS:Law fined for data breach

SirTainleyBarking
Thumb Up

That Karma

She's a Birch* isn't she

*Damn that spelchekker

Woman with 15 IDs gets 7 years for multiple VAT fraud

SirTainleyBarking
Black Helicopters

Because they have very good accountants

and Lawyers fed on raw meat and they can argue that they are practicing the legal tax Avoidance, rather than the illegal tax evasion.

Its always the rubbish criminals that get caught first

NHS Barnet reveals 187 breaches of personal data

SirTainleyBarking
Unhappy

To be fair

Theoretical data risk, quite high, and if the thief has even rudimentary grade tech skill, the potential for harm is high.

In reality the laptop will have been sold to the local fence, wiped and sold as a Christmas present in the local pub. The data will have been lost in the manner of being buried under a huge folder of pirated MP3's and an internet exposer cache full of dodgy JPG's where flesh tones predominate.

Cross-dresser kills goat while high on bath salts

SirTainleyBarking
Joke

Yeah but

He was caught when witnesses saw man with suspected rabies fleeing through the town centre

Virgin outsources techies, pulls plug on Trowbridge call centre

SirTainleyBarking
Thumb Down

Went through there a few months back

The redevelopents involved flattening the brewery and building executive flats there. Bowyers has shut too. Just another Swindon or Bath Dorm town now, which is a shame as when I lived there over a decade ago it wasn't too bad

Sony implicates Anonymous in PlayStation Network hack

SirTainleyBarking
Troll

The only consequence should be

The manufacturer not honouring the warranty if you break it.

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