* Posts by hplasm

4363 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft Desktop Bridge opens, Win32 apps can now cross into Windows Store

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Too late for me

That's a good start, at least!

7
2

Ted Cruz channels Senator McCarthy in wrongheaded internet power grab crusade

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

I don't know much about Cruz.

But I do know now that he's an idiot.

15
1

Google's become an obsessive stalker and you can't get a restraining order

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Danger!

"Security researcher... "almost had a heart attack" when he walked into a McDonald's "

Tip: Stay away from McD's to avoid cardiovascular problems.

36
2

Using a thing made by Microsoft, Apple or Adobe? It probably needs a patch today

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Obviously

Nah- DevOps, shurely?!?

2
0

Microsoft's Service Fabric for Linux hits public preview

hplasm
Silver badge
Linux

Re: Can't you already do all this stuff in Linux

True, but without the Emperor's New Clothes*.

Far too simple.

*Fabric, eh?

0
0

Luxe cable crimper

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Aha-

While it looks nice, it's another expensive (capex, so acceptable) way to replace expensive skilled cablemonkeys (opex, so unacceptable) with cheap unskilled cablemonkeys.

Beancounter's delight.

More cash freed up for the yacht fund! trebles all round!

0
0

Microsoft leads group pelting 'heavy duty' robot maker with $10.5m

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Fundamentally transform them into what?

BSOD

Big Sack 'o' Dung?

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Terminator

MS exosuit!

This --->

1
0

Jeff Bezos' thrusting cylinder makes Elon Musk's look minuscule

hplasm
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Paper rocket

"I've seen a LOT of rockets never make it out of Powerpoint."

Any rocket designed in Powerpoint should never get out.

5
1

Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Dr. WHO?

A Microsoft TARDIS?

Oh, just No.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: My. Brain. Hurts.

"How long until science enters the realm of 'indistinguishable from magic' for most people?"

At least 15-20 years...ago.

Sad, isn't it.

1
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

In other news-

Microsoft thinks Timecube is also viable.

6
3

'Oi! El Reg! Stop pretending Microsoft has a BSOD monopoly!'

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: A lot of these time....

"...bottom of the range windows PC's"

As opposed to -??? windows PCs?

2
1

Airbag bug forces GM to recall 4.3m vehicles – but eh, how about those self-driving cars, huh?

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: What about an OTA update??

"Do any cars attempt to rely on wifi?"

Er, Google street view?

*goes darknet*

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Pint

Re: The recall does not extend to Bulgaria

Sir!

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: And the 'Sentence of the Year' award goes to...

"Nowadays, everything suffers from systemd syndrome. "

I prefer this. With big brass knobs on.

The epitaph of the early 2000s.

5
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Checking online might be difficult if...

"One would think the high end vehicles would get the "better" systems."

But not the better drivers, eh? Think about it.

2
0

Spoof an Ethernet adapter on USB, and you can sniff credentials from locked laptops

hplasm
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: So...

"Sherlock, I guess he used a letter knife instead."

Or the long letter tweezers loved by the Stazi, to unroll and extract without opening the envelope...

0
0

Sophos Windows users face black screens after false positive snafu

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Tinfoil hats on

No need- the joke is in the OS!

1
2

Windows 10 now rules the weekend, taking over from Windows 7

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

In other news shop doorways, alleys and telephone boxes take over from toilets at weekends.

0
0

Ice to see you! Windows 10 fix for freezing PCs finally flung at folks

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Microsoft doesn't say if the update will fix the other issues-

- or just add more new ones.

33
4

Watch SpaceX's rocket dramatically detonate, destroying a $200m Facebook satellite

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: I have mixed feelings about this...

" Facebook isn't the loser here."

But maybe Africa is the winner?

12
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: cant see much

"arrayAllEngines[9].Start(); // Start the engine in the middle of stage 1"

Windows in spacecraft. And I thought Alien was a horror story!

6
0

Still got a floppy drive? Here's a solution for when 1.44MB isn't enough

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: 3.5Mb? Floppy?

Aha- fixed now.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

3.5Mb? Floppy?

1.44Mb, 3.5 in, shurely?

10
0

Cooky crumbles: Apple mulls yanking profits out of Europe and into US

hplasm
Silver badge
Pint

Re: He can huff, he can puff, but he will pay

"I wish I could have upvoted you more for your post. Spot on!"

Me too!

Particularly for this bit:-

"...we went to the moon when we paid taxes and we cannot even contemplate it today..."

20
0

Want a Windows 10 update? Don't go to Microsoft ... please

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

So-

It sucks your bandwidth while it gradually sorts itself out;

Then it does it again, many more times to update others at your expense, not MS's.

How sociable* of them...

* Socialist, to USAuans, I suppose...

6
0

Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Fully autonomous cars may never reach public roads

...according to the chairman of the US National Transportation Safety Board.

Ahem-

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." -- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

And he was quite bright, they say.

9
1

BT boils over, blows off Steam, accuses Valve of patent infringement

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Bastard Telecom....

+1 Internet, plus another for spelling and using 'peddle' correctly!

0
0

Newest Royal Navy warship weighs as much as 120 London buses

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: El Reg Units

The double decker bus is a unit of Wait, usually.

Then three turn up at once, like quarks. Strange, that.

8
0

Windows 10 Anniversary on a Raspberry Pi: Another look at IoT Core

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: We should use neither

It's all firmishware. Some more firm than others...

And Win10- in the article- which is another kettle of... something.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: We should use neither

"...would you fly on an Airbus that was being run by a Pi?"

Rather than one that was run by Windows, yes.

13
3

Astronauts sequence DNA in space for the first time

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: They took e coli into space????

"So what?" Leading British scientist Dr Quatermass was quoted as saying. "The chances of anything... Oh I say! Look at that...!"

9
0

OneLogin breached, hacker finds cleartext credential notepads

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

"...what is wrong with a password-protected Excel file..."

Excel- that bit.

8
0

Microsoft releases firmware fix for faulty Surface Pro 3 batteries

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: So far so good...

"A big H. I hope that's ok with you, Hplasm..."

Indeed, you are correct, and I stand in the corner, having failed to proofread. :(

Thumb up for truth, and to represent my fat-fingers.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: So far so good...

On the downside, the CPU is running at 1Mhz now.

7
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: For sale- 10000 m mains extension lead.

"Is that the irritating one that uses "summit" as a verb?"

Yep- and isn't even a Yorkshire lass!

6
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

For sale- 10000 m mains extension lead.

Contact "I'm a mountain guide and a Surface user" from the TV ad.

Yeah... and statistics.

8
1

Microsoft Outlook.com redecoration delay rumors: THE TRUTH

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Why have they broken Hotmail?

Things have to match...

1
0

Reports: Autopilot will go on strike if you're not paying attention

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Self Driving Cars ...

Aimed? As in running them over?

6
0

Labour's Jeremy Corbyn wants high speed broadband for all. Wow, original idea there

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Why ?

"I can download films 10 times faster than I can watch them."

Yeah? I bet you have a 405 line b/w TV too... that would save d/l bandwidth alright...

4
0

New booze guidelines: We'd rather you didn't enjoy yourselves

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: because you can't enjoy yourself without a drink?

"From a grumpy ex-alcoholic. :-P"

From the Preachy-Ex brigade...

0
0

Windows Update borks PowerShell – Microsoft won't fix it for a week

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: we can't predict ... whether it will work today or not.

"Where did you want to go today?"

Win10 version.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Update breaks Powershell...

At last- an update that does something useful!

7
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Where -

Is The Microsoft Broken Icon?

Or perhaps a Curl(!)y Poo, with flies...

4
1

Kindle Paperwhites turn Windows 10 PCs into paperweights: Plugging one in 'triggers a BSOD'

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: It's amazing

There's a reason for this icon, you see... ---->

5
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

That is what he is complaining about.

Whoosh!

29
1

Microsoft baits new vSphere-to-Hyper-V switch offer

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Microsoft Tamagochi Gambit.

No friends? Buy virtual ones...

"Look how popular we are!"

5
1

MySQL daddy Widenius: Open-source religion won't feed MariaDB

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Advert supported

Aiee! Access 10?

7
1

Your wget is broken and should DIE, dev tells Microsoft

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: If only ...

"...the expense of creating, testing and debugging their own versions."

Well one out of three is something...

3
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017