* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Sandy Island does exist - on a 1908 chart

hplasm
Happy

Gone, it be!

Global warming has melted it!

Or the ACID OCEAN has dissolved it!

Noes!!11

Asteroid miners hunt for platinum, leave all common sense in glovebox

hplasm
Pirate

Re: But there is no concept of private property.

Thus: SPACE PIRATES!!

Yarr! *beep*

Pirate cops bust LITTLE GIRL, take her Winnie-the-Pooh laptop

hplasm
Pirate

Re: demanded that to avoid prosecution he fork over €600…

...demanded that to avoid prosecution he fork over €600…

Sound like PIRATES to me.

BlackBerry 10: AWESOME. If the hardware matches it, RIM jobs are safe

hplasm
Happy

Looks good.

Android, Apple and Blackberry. Plenty of competition there.

Oh and that other one. Never mind.

Mint Linux gifts Unity haters with 'Nadia' ... plus her Mate

hplasm
FAIL

Re: How quaint

How quaint- it lives under a bridge, look!

Barclays Bank buys 8,500 Apple iPads in one go

hplasm
Meh

Re: capable of doing what the bank needs.

Ego polishing, pure and simple.

It's bloody Barclays.

WIMP-seeking detector flooded

hplasm
Happy

Re: How are they going to find dark matter underground?

Nightvision- that explains the photomultipliers.

The xenon is there to inhale and do Darth Vader impressions while they wait.

Lawrence 'Empire Strikes Back' Kasdan to pen future Star Wars script

hplasm
Coat

Re: Annoying bear thingies

Invented in Yorkshire...

Italians deploy fearsome SPY MANNEQUINS to win Fashion Wars

hplasm
Terminator

Do they

have drop-down hands with guns in the wrists?

UN: Greenhouse gas emissions gap is out of control

hplasm
Happy

Re: Sorry, third world, you need to STAY POOR

But- you are neglecting the contribution of... Hippo farts.

Sam Sung found in Apple Store SHOCKER

hplasm
Happy

Re: "Somec Unt"

Isn't there one of those high up in Nokia?

Beeb rights swapper swaps shop to swap-shop for red-tops

hplasm
Angel

Wow

The sub header made my head spin.

NASA admits hiding 'really good' news from Martian soil

hplasm
Happy

Re: Don't get excited

It'll be one for the AREOLOGISTS history books.

You're welcome.

hplasm
Happy

Re: April the 4th of September

A complex date indeed.

Oprah Winfrey too late to save Microsoft's Windows 8

hplasm
Windows

Re: Is the nursery closed today?

It's like having a picture book with furry pages.

hplasm
Devil

Re:Windows 7 was a life boat

'Surface' is a submarine.

Dive dive dive.

Glorious silicon globes could hold key to elusive PERFECT kilogram

hplasm
Joke

Re: What Puzzles Me

It's compared to a bag of sugar.

Design guru: Windows 8 is 'a monster' and 'a tortured soul'

hplasm
Windows

Re: What's all the fuss about?

*Car Analogy Alert!*

Say you bought a car.

Would you be happy having to Pay Extra for a windcreen that was more than 10% transparent, ot a decent sized steering wheel before you could drive it as easily as your previous cars?

Can't wait for Nvidia? Try these Italian baby ARM clusters with GPU options

hplasm
Coat

Baby ARM

Holding an Apple?

Woz: Microsoft's innovation lead 'worries me greatly'

hplasm
Devil

Re: Roger Irrelevant Writes...

You mean "My Very First Smartphone"

Author of '80s classic The Hobbit didn't know game was a hit

hplasm
Unhappy

Re: Bugs...

I got stuck in the barrel room ;You got imprisoned in there, and to escape you had to get into a barrel and then dump it though the trap door into the river- do it without and you would drown. i threw the barrel out first one time, and could not proceed, so quit and reloaded from tape. This time when I was thrown into the room, there was no barrel, and it was never there ever after - this was without doing a game save- I have no idea what happened...

Survey: Win8 only HALF as popular as Win7 among IT bosses

hplasm
Windows

Re: Ignorant users

I think what you are saying is:-

Win 8. Windows for Monkeys.

Hmm.

Sydney Uni boffin wants database to track smokers

hplasm
Happy

"Oz boffin"

Is he called Bruce?

hplasm
Joke

Re: Hey you, citizen! You really suck.

Roy would have been ok if he hadn't gone to Skaro.

Fart-buster underpants selling well among Japanese salarymen

hplasm
Happy

The graphic-

looks like it will turn into Mr Sparkle at any moment.

Samsung readies bendy smarties for 2013

hplasm
Happy

Rounded corners-

Are so 2D...

Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

hplasm
Happy

So

Is the Cake true now or not? I forget...

hplasm
Coat

It depends-

which end of the gut they go in...

Microsoft flings free Xboxes to long-term Live lovers

hplasm
Devil

Increased sales figures!

Every little helps...

hplasm
Devil

What a cruel,

and unusual punishment.

Humans becoming steadily STUPIDER, says brainiac boffin

hplasm
Happy

Re: Is he married?

Or Stepford grade. more like.

Word wonks insist GIFs are really JIFs

hplasm
Holmes

Choosy Mothers choose Jiff

'Cause it starts with a 'J'.

hplasm
Coat

Re: Was the vulture logo created by a jiffics artist on jiff paper?

No, Giraffic Artists on Giraffe paper.

In Giraffic Park.

ROGUE PLANET WITHOUT A SUN spotted in interstellar space

hplasm
Coat

Re: could be a small Dyson Sphere

Aha - A Dyson Ball. In a vacuum...

hplasm
Happy

Yes.

Try again on Tuesday. About 2ish.

hplasm
Happy

Geez-

It's put on a bit of mass...

hplasm
Coat

Re: Perhaps...

That's no Moon...

hplasm
Happy

Re: Very strange stuff

'Planet' <Noun> (gk) Wanderer

'Atmosphere' <Noun> Gaseous envelope held onto surface of Planet (q.v) by Gravity.

Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia

hplasm
Windows

Microsoft don't make phones-

But if they did, they'd be shit. Probably.

Cawing retail vultures circle dying Comet, might rip some chunks off

hplasm
Happy

Hi

De Hi.

hplasm
Happy

Aaark! Aaark!

Classic.

El Reg Xmas cards with sound please.

Sex offenders need internet access, judge rules

hplasm
WTF?

No

Why would they?

Brits admit to using mobile phones during sex - and not in a good way

hplasm
Joke

Re: It may just be me

@Tegne

Taking the piss?

El Reg mulls Forums icon portfolio shake-up

hplasm
Happy

Re: Omnishambles

A TIFKAM screen?

Top prosecutor warns troll-hunting cops not to choke courts

hplasm
Unhappy

Re: harden the **** up

Sounds correct though.

SECRET 28 'scientific experts' who Greened the BBC - Revealed!

hplasm
Big Brother

Board of Governors

Replaced by Ministry of Truth.

Bad Show, BBC.

Even £9.8m on consultants can't get UK.gov network push underway

hplasm
Devil

Re: what's 'boraband'?

It's capable of going fast, but is generally quite slow.

q.v VW Bora, the car for old farts that think the Passat is too racy.

BOSS Bang boffins: DARK ENERGY spreading across the Universe

hplasm
Boffin

Dark Energy-

Phlogiston Proven.

Next- Aether; Where have you been hiding?

Brits swallow Google Nexus 4 supply 'in 30 minutes'

hplasm
Happy

No MacBook

For you then?

Google, Amazon, Starbucks are 'immoral' and 'ridiculous' over UK tax

hplasm
Devil

Re: Welcome to the capitalist world...

"We all love good value for money"

That rules out Starbucks, then.