* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft splashes coat of paint on Windows 8 comms apps

hplasm
Meh

"improvements to your Windows experience across your whole life"

Only if I didn't have to use it.

Mr LeBlanc talks some utter donkeyballs.

Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: GPS

Sometimes 'Lies to children' are necessary.

hat-tip to Mr Pratchett.

Help save the endangered QUANTUM OWL, pleads Reg man

hplasm
Unhappy

argh!

The RI server is down- hopefully the Slashdot effect of lots of people with money!

Dongle smut Twitstorm claims second scalp

hplasm
Megaphone

and

Keep your nose out of other peoples private conversations you nosey git!

Oi, Microsoft, where's my effin' toolbar gone?

hplasm
Devil

Re: Probably a memory issue

So 640k is NOT enough for Word? Seems like an MS problem right enough...

hplasm
Windows

Word.

People pay for this crap. (The sw, not the article).

Hilarious (Life, and the article).

Movie, TV ads annoying? You ain't seen nothin' yet

hplasm
Happy

Re: Clever people make. Clever people break!

I'd buy that for a dollar!

Virgin Media boss to Osbo: Bung city fibre cash into small biz

hplasm
Meh

Well

VM cable is already FTTC- just wait; as soon as the new BT cab fills up, it will slow to a crawl too.

Researcher sets up illegal 420,000 node botnet for IPv4 internet map

hplasm
Meh

Re: This is why they make prisons

I agree- Jail for all AC posters.

National Security Letters ruled unconstitutional

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: The US had a regime change.

Some wrinkly Sith Senator got thrown down a shaft?

New nuke could POWER WORLD UNTIL 2083

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Thorium is not next to worthless. It has a negative value.

let's get fracking, and I can make a killing on gas mantles!

We shall CRUSH you, puny ROBOT... with CHESS

hplasm
Happy

Re: Clever stuff!

...polish [your|you're] [armor|armour] for free.

Int'l version...

Drunk driving: No more dangerous than talking on handsfree mobe

hplasm
Big Brother

Re: Texting whilst driving leads to arrest

It's an Animal Farm reference.

eBay: Our paid Google advertising was a total waste of money

hplasm
Happy

Re:@Lockwood: How big was it?

One.

Microsoft unveils even more tempting Kinect offering: Open source

hplasm
Holmes

... Guinness World Record for fastest selling consumer electronics device:

I knew I should have got one when they came out- £25 in Asda... aha

Self-healing chips survive repeated LASER BLASTS

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Ivor Catt should get a mention

Ouida Dogg, I seem to recall...

Rise Of The Machines: What will become of box-watchers, delivery drivers?

hplasm
Devil

Re: I for one welcome our new driverless cars

d) is the answer- driverless bicycles.

hplasm
Happy

Re: But How

It won't knock. Or indeed arrive- you will get an email saying "You were out..."

Microsoft backs law banning Google Apps from schools

hplasm

Re: So MS lobbying to protect their cash cow and keep Google out

That explains the Bear- he's Temporary Pope.

Seattle drinking den bans Google Glass geeks

hplasm
Happy

Re: Hmmm..

Whatever next - no droids?

BAN SMUT, rage MEPs: Purpose of internet must be EXTERMINATED

hplasm
Facepalm

Really?

You can't make up stuff like this- unless the EU pay you to.

Georgia Tech proposes terabit NFC antenna

hplasm
Boffin

How about

An orbiting THz telescope? Might be interesting stuff to see (not just alien videos...).

BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

hplasm
Happy

Re: Can we have some bears too?

o mi?

Next Windows 8 version can ditch bits of Metro

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: Making Windows 8 look like Windows 7 isn't a climbdown?

"...at least seriously read a book..."

Isn't that splitting an infinitive?

hplasm
Devil

Re: Making Windows 8 look like Windows 7 isn't a climbdown?

Apple generate a Reality Distortion field.

Microsoft just use a really big hammer.

'Million-strong' zombie army devours Raspberry Pi's crunchy base

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Open Letter

I second Botty Lord for the wazzocks behind botnets!

Or Botti Boi...

Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII

hplasm
Happy

Re: "Elderly"?

When 400 years old she is, look so good, she will not...

Bank whips out palm-recognition kit - and a severed hand won't work

hplasm
Happy

Re: I wonder how they tested the "will not work with a severed hand" part.

I can do better than that, I can give you Fifteen!

SpaceX Dragon eventually snared by ISS

hplasm
Happy

Re: It's rocket _engineering_ that's difficult.

But Rocket Surgery- that's a right swine...

Tito's Mars mission to use HUMAN WASTE as radiation shield

hplasm
Happy

But-

does crap even stick to aerogel?

Microsoft Surface Pro will land in UK in WEEKS*

hplasm
Meh

Re: Gosh

"so you would be buying something inferior.,"

A Surface Pro?

So much noise on WinMob, but Microsoft's silent on lovely WinPhone

hplasm
Gimp

Re: I'm not suprised

How can you have *fun* without a soul?

hplasm
Meh

Microsoft Marketing people

have souls?

Super-fast super-massive black hole spins at nearly light-speed

hplasm
Pint

These things-

should be the best place to find exotic matter and other space-time detritus such as we haven't a hope of replicating here. If there is an anti-gravity particle or a sub-ether wave to be found and harnessed, this is the place- if they aren't, well the future is going to be boring as Earth slowly goes back to the stone-age.

Beer- for optimism...

Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62

hplasm
Terminator

Re: Alternative solution

Nutritional paste to the eye stalk or a fetching rubbery cloak over the top have proved to be effective in the past- or was it the future?

Microsoft unwraps sysadmin-friendly Office 365 for biz update

hplasm
Happy

"Facepalm because obviously..."

...Ex-Lax was taken.

hplasm
Windows

Re: The Preferred Business Model

Nobody wants it on those terms. Difficult for MS to stick it?

Too bad.

hplasm
Devil

Re: Pro Plus?!

A bit of an eye-opener...

hplasm
Meh

Re: TL:DR

It's Microsoft.

It's expensive.

It's value is debatable.

it smells fishy.

Trekkies detect Spock's Vulcan homeworld ORBITING PLUTO

hplasm
Holmes

Re: Intollerable!

Bah!

That's Tesla's Aether Propeller!

What are they teaching in the schools these days? Indeed!!

hplasm
Joke

How about-

Coolio?

Nokia wants to build the Google of human behaviour - and share it

hplasm
Meh

This sounds familiar-

Wasn't this predicted to be happening... ooh about now?

All the 'tell us who your friends are and what you are doing and we'll tell you where your tribe is meeting' things that have been pushed forward up to now just don't catch on- nobody wants tracking to that extent- and nor will this.

Stop saying 'Cyber Pearl Harbor,' RSA boss pleads

hplasm
Happy

Surely if it's "Cyber" (!) anything

Then it should be "Perl Harbor" (Harbour).

That Firefox OS mobe: The sorta phone left behind after a mugging

hplasm
Meh

Graph with *3* lines on it

One for Windows Phone 8- it's not 'success'...

India launch puts Canadian microsats into orbit

hplasm
Coat

Re: "places the size of wales that you would never notice if they disappeared"

Wales?

US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

hplasm
Devil

"right- minded citizens..."

As in "your mind is as closed as ours, right?"

Fujitsu to get oldsters out the house and thoroughly caned

hplasm
Unhappy

"...all that is missing is a mechanism to remind you why you went there in the first place..."

That's what I would want one for!

Climate scientists link global warming to extreme weather

hplasm
FAIL

Re: ...some cause, X...

That would be what enlightened souls have called *the Sun* for many millenia.

Open source port-a-thon brings Ubuntu to more phones, tablets

hplasm
Linux

There's a storm coming-

Better board up your Windows.

Microsoft's own code should prevent an Azure SSL fail: So what went wrong?

hplasm
Devil

So if you want a good, stable Cloud coputing system do you choose:-

a. Microsoft, A 'Software Company' or

b. Amazon, a bookshop?

Answers on a Valid Certificate...