* Posts by hplasm

4659 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Put down your coffee and admire the sheer amount of data Windows 10 Creators Update will slurp from your PC

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Slowly, but surely...

The chances of any sense coming from MS

Are a million to one, they said...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Soft target?

"Typing data on my Android phone ends up with SwiftKey for sure."

Swiftkey are owned by...?

MS.

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hplasm
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Windows

"T he owner of the documents agreed to the privacy policy.." (sic)

In a lot of cases, the owner didn't even agree to install Win10...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: BongoJoe

"Where does the owner of the document fit into this process?"

Make sure you don't put Windows 10 into your computer.

FTFY

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Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

hplasm
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Re: If I can be Brian the Messiah that be called Brian...

Splitters!

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hplasm
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Blasphemous indeed!

Give Easter back to the Pagans!

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Ubuntu 17.04 beta FACT: It's what's on the inside that matters, not looks

hplasm
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Windows

You Linux babies

Oh no! An Internet Bigboy! 11111111One...

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Alabama man gets electrocuted after sleeping with iPhone

hplasm
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Re: Bah!

President Biff!

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hplasm
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...make him mentally oblong.

What shape does he normally think he is?

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hplasm
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Holmes

Re: everything's a lot better nowadays

"Think of it as evolution in action."

Which explains a lot...

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D'oh! Amber Rudd meant 'understand hashing', not 'hashtags'

hplasm
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Facepalm

ZzzzzZzzzzzZzzzz!

The sound of furious backpedalling...

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Mediaeval Yorkshirefolk mutilated, burned t'dead to prevent reanimation

hplasm
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Unhappy

"...how different the Mediaeval view of the world was from our own"

Just wait a few years...

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BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

hplasm
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Now that-

- is real-world work experience!

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SpaceX wows world with a ho-hum launch of a reused rocket, landing it on a tiny boring barge

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Amazing

a fly-back craft would be the second best way of getting material and manpower up into space.

I see your Prelude to Space and raise you a Fountains of Paradise...

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hplasm
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Boffin

Broom.

It seems, according to reports from spacex, that they keep the handle and brush head, but replace any bristles that appear even slightly sub-optimal.

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Creators Update gives Windows 10 a bit of an Edge, but some old annoyances remain

hplasm
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Re: bipolar

"the users' wishes really don't count"

The new Win10 slogan!

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Aaah Win 10

"...making things super useful..."

...is not the Windows way. Not any more.

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hplasm
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Happy

Creators Update, or how to apply lipstick to a pig.

And not the oinky end...

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Facebook, Google, etc: Yeah, yeah, we'll work on the nasty stuff about bombs – but we ain't doing no backdoors

hplasm
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Meh

What were they going to say?

How many impossible things would you like us to do today?

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Windows 10 Creators Update: Clearing the mines with livestock (that's you by the way)

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: daisy wheel typewriters

" Linux does not work on daisy wheel typewriters."

assuming you mean'printer' for 'typewriter'...

[citation needed]

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: CBB

"What a fragmented ecosystem Win10 is...

Not like Linux I guess then."

Correct.

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Europe to push new laws to access encrypted apps data

hplasm
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Big Brother

No 6...

"What do you want?"

"Secure access to your encryoted information."

"You won't get it!"

"By hook or by crook we will."

"No, maths doesn't work like that. Sod off."

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Microsoft wants screaming Windows fans, not just users

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Isn't MSDN a Microsoft User Group?

Er... you dropped this --->

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Never had an issue...

"blacklist microsoft sites at the router."

Advice for life.

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hplasm
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Re: Yawn!

"Yes, even operating systems have fans."

So why does W10 want some?

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hplasm
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I though they didn't want screaming fans?

http://forums.windowscentral.com/windows-10/372695-laptops-fan-running-full-speed-since-windows-10-update.html

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hplasm
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Gimp

"“Have you ever heard of a Microsoft user group?”"

Should that not be a Microsoft support group.

Not techincal support, mind.

The screaming is normal.

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UK Home Sec: Give us a snoop-around for WhatApp encryption. Don't worry, we won't go into the cloud

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Colour me surprised

I understand 'the hastags'! Give me huge amounts of cash. Don't expect results though- just look on me as a mini-capita or something.

A couple of million a month should do it.

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'Windows 10 destroyed our data!' Microsoft hauled into US court

hplasm
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Devil

Re: About time

"I have tried various releases of Reactos,..."

So it does work as well as W10!

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UK.gov confirms it won't be buying V-22 Ospreys for new aircraft carriers

hplasm
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Facepalm

How to: Augment an Aircraft Carrier.

1. Put aircraft on it.

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Boffins reveal how to pour a perfect glass of wine with no drips. First step, take a diamond...

hplasm
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Shurely...

...screwtops have this already? *hic*

/winesacrilege

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TRAPPIST-1's planets are quiet. Quiet as the grave, in fact

hplasm
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Re: @AC ...the fairy tale of Darwinian evolution

"Was that typed by a moron or a troll?"

Different Fairy Tale Believer. Take your pick.

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: More Magic than Goldilocks orbit distance...

"Earth has a one in a million combination of life supporting conditions."

You call this life...? Don't talk to me about life...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: After '000s of years of research-

"...And all we were looking for was a good Starbucks..."

a good Starbucks?

Rarer than inhabitable worlds... keep looking.

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hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: "tidal locking" seems like a pretty big problem if you want to live there.

"Star Trek isn't a reality TV series."

Reaity TV series aren't reality...

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hplasm
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Unhappy

After '000s of years of research-

-and decades of travel, humans land on a planet in some star's Goldilocks zone...

and are promptly eaten by three Starbears.

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NASA to fire 1Gbps laser 'Wi-Fi' ... into spaaaaace

hplasm
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Headmaster

To Netflix...

Argh.

Verbing nouns weirds language.

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Ubuntu splats TITSUP bug spread in update

hplasm
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Linux

Phew!

Good job a real OS doesn't reboot after every little change, eh?

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Now UK bans carry-on lappies, phones, slabs on flights from six nations amid bomb fears

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Cameras

Neutral countries? Y'urr either with us, or agin us! T'aint no neutral countries!!

(apologies for Trumpbush Frankenaccent)

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hplasm
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Black Helicopters

Re: @chivo243

What's new? Same as before brexit!

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Airplane bomb fears spark America's laptop, tablet carry-on ban

hplasm
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Big Brother

Coming to the UK too according to the Beeb

Done and done.

And we have been...

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Wanted: Bot mechanic. New nerds, apply within

hplasm
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Happy

Sounds like a job advert-

For Susan Calvin + spanner set.

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Spammy Google Home spouts audio ads without warning – now throw yours in the trash

hplasm
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Re: I sure hope the average person's response is similar

"Apple will have a HUGE opening "

Chief of Marketing?

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hplasm
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Re: Chatbots could totally be a trillion-dollar industry

"There's this guy named Gruber... ;-)"

Does he live next door to Paddington Bear?

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Microsoft kills Windows Vista on April 11: No security patches, no hot fixes, no support, nada

hplasm
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options:

You missed - Will it blend?

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Google Maps' Street View can now lead you into a bubbling lava lake

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Not Etna?

It's on the BBC newspage. Impressive!

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SpaceX yoinks $96m GPS launch deal from under ULA's nose

hplasm
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Happy

Re: reusable rockets

"Mid-air nabbing of a rocket has the James Bond villain vibe you might expect from Musk."

ULA rocket goes up, ULA engines paracute down... SpaceX giant Quadcopter swoops in...

cue Bond music...

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Wait, we CAN'T overcharge you any more? UNFAIR!

"...allot cheaper."

Once is alittle mistake. Twice, however....

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National Insurance tax U-turn: Philip Hammond nixes NIC uptick

hplasm
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Devil

This lady's not for turning!

Neither is this one... oh look!

Again!

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Oracle gives FCC a great big sloppy kiss: You're doing a great job axing net neutrality, privacy

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Yes Kieren

Oh for the day when we are free of Oracle's odious meddling...

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