* Posts by hplasm

4659 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Shadow Brokers resurface, offer to sell fresh 'wine of month' club exploits

hplasm
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Meh

"Holding world+dog at ransom..."

Just like a 'proper' IT megacorp...

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Drugs, vodka, Volvo: The Scandinavian answer to Britain's future new border

hplasm
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Happy

Re: And this tackles people who cycle or walk past ...

"People who cycle or walk aren't carrying tonnes of taxable goods[1]. "

Bicycle full of mercury?

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Microsoft touts next Windows 10 Creators Update: It's set for a Fall

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Failed Creation Edition!

Not a Creationist, then?

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Oh, great: There's a new Same Origin Policy exploit for Edge

hplasm
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Holmes

"...perhaps is an intrinsic problem and it is simply that we don't know what it is."

Is it not bad programming?

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Well this is awkward. As Microsoft was bragging about Office at Build, Office 365 went down

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Why Office 365 isn't down much.

Ah - but isn't it down to 34something now?

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RBS is to lay off 92 UK techies and outsource jobs to India – reports

hplasm
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Meh

92 Techs-

-but no beancounters?

Shurely shome mistake?

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IBM: Customer visit costing £75 in travel? Kill it with extreme prejudice

hplasm
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Meh

Nobody got fired for buying IBM-

- In the days when they used to turn up on site to fix things...

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US copyright law shake-up: Days of flinging stuff on the web and waiting for a DMCA may be over

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Contemporary Hollywood films do not pass the threshold of originality required by copyright

"I would've died of laughter seeing the Windows computer infect the alien computer..."

To be fair, it was a Mac...(Powerbook 5300 sez Goog.)

MS product placement tends to be on the less-than-Hollywood-budget productions.

But I can see where you get the connection.

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Today's bonkers bug report: Microsoft Edge can't print numbers

hplasm
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Meh

Re: And all the students that get stuck with Windows S!

"...Presumably you can still install CutePDF writer"

Is it in the Store?

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hplasm
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Both users should take note.

Yes, all 4 of them are irate, and another 5 have switched to OS276.

That just leaves 7.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: And all the students that get stuck with Windows S!

'Microsoft ate my homework, Miss!'

Wows! Will the clown car ever empty?

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Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

hplasm
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Which one ?

"What is it with bellends and rings?

Not going to have one near my todger, too many things that can go wrong."

Bellend or ring?

*edit* Too slow! 'Bin Audited, Evilly...

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Windows 10 S forces Bing, Edge on your kids. If you don't like it, get Win10 Pro – Microsoft

hplasm
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Devil

Re: "ask Bing anything uncommon" ...

" I just searched the same with Bing and got nothing of the sort."

That's what he said.

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hplasm
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Re: A few thoughts of mine.

"So if it can't run WIN32 can we use sales of goods act over them calling it Windows?"

No, because it is broken...

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Meh, I give it a few months

goggle?

WinSpellChkr borked again?

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Hmm ChromeOS

"...more sophisticated users won't use it anyway

Meh.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Meh, I give it a few months

"Good, then can we talk about not being able to install Firefox on my Chromebook?"

Can't find out how to do it on Bing? Oh dear.

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S is for Sandbox: The logic behind Microsoft's new lockdown Windows gambit

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: @big_D -- Windows Store, oh goody!

"How stupid does someone have to be?"

So that's what the 'S' is for!

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Microsoft Azure capacity woes hit UK customers. Yes, you read that right

hplasm
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Facepalm

UK and no Cloud?

Only MS could achieve this.

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You only need 60 bytes to hose Linux's rpcbind

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It seems no one likes writing data validation code

"...protocol code should be written by an FSM writing tool. "

All hail His Spaghetti Code!

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Flatpak and Snaps aren't destined for graveyard of failed Linux tech yet

hplasm
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Devil

Ha!

"...keeping compatibility so one person can still use the WIN16 program they wrote to do their taxes twenty years ago, on Win10."

You'd think MS execs could afford a Quickbooks license...

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Windows 10 S: Good, bad, and how this could get ugly for PC makers

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Blanket Laptops.....

"Did anyone else think of the saying, "stick like sh!t to a blanket" - could be some issues."

Wouldn't wipe my arse on it...

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Linux

"I see no simple global admin.

I see no simple set / install and configure.

I see no integration with Office 365"

And so, on to the bad points?

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hplasm
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Devil

So...

Can they run ChromeOS?

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Oracle links to LinkedIn so its salesware can sniff you out

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: The problem with linkedIn is

I thought this might happen, so when LI was gobbled up, I first deleted all info from my profile, saved it, put in a load of old bollox, saved it, deleted it, saved it, changed the password and then closed the account.

OK so far ...

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Unpaid tech contractor: 'I have to support my family. I have no money for medicines'

hplasm
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Pint

Re: Why we love El Reg

Thanks El Reg!

I'm not affected by this, but I bet those that are are grateful for your help.

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Microsoft sparks new war with Google with, er, $999+ lappies for kids

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Just give it native printer support and it will clean up

If only you could print from a Chromebook directly... oh wait- you can.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Minecraft subscription?

"Only in The Colonies. Microsoft are known as Slurp elsewhere....

FTFY

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SpaceX spin-out plans to put virtual machines in orbit

hplasm
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Coat

Vector?

Isn't he after the Moon?

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It's a question worth asking: Why is the FCC boss being such a jerk?

hplasm
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Headmaster

Ambigous, much.

"... as if we were not quite human. We are."

...not quite human? Siamese, if you please? Devo?

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Don't install our buggy Windows 10 Creators Update, begs Microsoft

hplasm
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Devil

Re: How do you abort the update? @ Updraft102

"Oh, look - a new meaning for the word bless ...."

...originally perhaps ‘mark or consecrate with blood'. (Oxforddictionaries.com)

An old meaning, perhaps, but with the twist that the blood has been digested first...

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UK.gov throws hissy fit after Twitter chokes off snoop firm's access

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Re Mr. Python

"So the government is filled with Gumbys?"

Yes- oddly true, whoever gets in.

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iPhone lawyers literally compare Apples with Pears in trademark war

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Not like you'd do it yourself

You forgot this --->

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: So my new company logo....

"Dogshit Industries"

Sorry, Apple and Microsoft are both fighting after that name.

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'Grueling' record-breaking VR movie marathon triggers hallucinations

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How did they pee?

"Did they stick their virtual dicks into virtual bottles?"

That's what they thought they were doing...

or possibly

That's not what they thought they were doing... 0-o

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Zuckerberg's absolutely mental: Brain sensors that read YOUR MIND at 100 words a minute

hplasm
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Happy

Re: No escape

You are in a maze of twisted little freaks staring into their phones, all alike...

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AWS v Oracle: Mark Hurd schooled on how to run a public cloud that people actually use

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: AWS infrastructure Boss is Ex-Car mechanic.. says it all.

"As we all know, virtualization has overhead upwards of 30%."

Only when running Oracle.

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Microsoft shrugs off report that Edge can expose user identities from JS Fetch requests

hplasm
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Meh

How long is the queue?

"The response from MS clearly states that they have queued it for a later fix, so not exactly dismissing the report."

Later, as in 30 years+ ?

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Microsoft touts SQL Server 2017 as 'first RDBMS with built-in AI'

hplasm
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Re: Ha Ha

"Do MS know what AI actually is?"

It's what Ali G says whilst using SQL Server, innit?

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New satellites could cause catastrophic space junk collisions

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: In space

You should stay to the Up, except when passing on the Leght- except when manoevering Topwards, in which case yaw to the Rieft.

Down is generally bad.

Don't forget. Speed up to slow down!

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No, Microsoft is not 'killing Windows 10 Mobile'

hplasm
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Meh

'No, Microsoft is not 'killing Windows 10 Mobile'

It died years ago.

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Regulate This! Time to subject algorithms to our laws

hplasm
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Big Brother

Treading on politicians' toes?

"...in the hands of a few programmers who have no accountability for the decisions that they're making,"

and

"in the hands of a few politicians who have no accountability for the decisions that they're making,"

Seems like the former offends the latter- which is the status quo...

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Microsoft raises pistol, pulls the trigger on Windows 7, 8 updates for new Intel, AMD chips

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Well after that...

"Windows is fun"

Weirdo.

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Oh my Microsoft Word: Dridex hackers exploit unpatched flaw

hplasm
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Windows

FTFY

still relies on the user opening a foriegn document though, with a shady operating system that should have been fixed or killed decades ago.

That's all.

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Windows 10 Creators Update general rollout begins with a privacy dialogue

hplasm
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Meh

Re: That installation dialogue in full...

[ ] The cheque's in the post.

[ ] We promise we won't shit in your mouth.Again. Until next Patch Tuesday.

FTFY

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Murdoch will get EU green light for full Sky takeover – reports

hplasm
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Facepalm

So ...

Sky will soon look like the Sun...

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Put down your coffee and admire the sheer amount of data Windows 10 Creators Update will slurp from your PC

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Fine fine fine

"Microsoft then blackmails the EU or contributes to its dissolution. What now?"

A lot of people rejoice?

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: I thought

"...Munich in their plans to ditch Linux and return to Windows..."

Citation needed...

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hplasm
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Thumb Down

Re: I thought

"Some people play games for a living."

Lucky them. I bet they don't mind MS seeing their scores.

Your point?

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Fine fine fine

"How will they be able to force the issue...?

Revoke Windows copyright in EU...

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