* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Google gives spit n' polish to world's most expensive Chromebook

hplasm
Trollface

Re: built....

Sorry, the Apple page is elsewhere...

Going on holiday? Mexico wants your personal data

hplasm
Terminator

Re: PNR Data

Email:casework@ico.org.uk

Phone number :+441625 545 745

They work for us...so why not?

$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

hplasm
Coat

Christometer-

Hehhe - First the Jesusphone, now this.

I hope Apple get into kitchen gadgets. I can't wait for the coming of the Holy Toast...

'Roly poly' soft, wobbly robot BANGS EXPLOSIVELY, leaps 0.5m in air

hplasm
Happy

Where

Are the Pictures? (oh, in the linky... a bit dry though... /edit)

Video, preferably.

Nothing says 'Taliban' quite like net neutrality, eh, EU Digi Commish?

hplasm
Facepalm

Oetti?

Wetty?

Idoitti? What is he on?

Boffins probe mystery of ANTARCTIC BLOOD GLACIER

hplasm
Alien

Juices-

of the Elder Things.

Hated smart meters likely to be 'a costly failure' – MPs

hplasm
Devil

Re "How can this possibly cost so much?"

The price of Yachts goes ever upwards.

Boffins find Earth's earliest Homo in Ethiopian hilltop

hplasm
Coat

Re: Cool!

Amen to that!

Storm in a K-Cup: My SHAME over the eco-monster I created, says coffee pod inventor

hplasm
FAIL

Re: Too good to last

"Is that what we want, a future filled with crappy products, made so for the sake of recycling?"

Better than the present, where we have crappy products that are almost unrecyclable.

Mummy, what's the point of Evgeny Morozov's tedious columns?

hplasm
Headmaster

Shurely shome mishtake?

Nobody called it "The Grauniad"...

Microsoft working on 'Nano' version of Windows Server for web-scale ops

hplasm
Meh

Re: Wow

" modularising Windows and allowing you to ditch the crap you don't need and don't want."

Or you could just buy a blank disk.

Elon Musk plans to plonk urban Hyperloop subsonic tube on California

hplasm
Coat

Re: Secure transport system?

This new transport system scares me - IP!

RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered

hplasm
Unhappy

Farewell, Spock.

Your star will always be of a greater magnitude than those around them, in their respective local cluster, of course.

NERDGASM as Apple announces 'special event'

hplasm
Devil

"...price of gold through the roof..."

Perhaps it will be announcing a new Blue/Black colour scheme to complement the existing Gold/White one.

Appletards will of course, buy both...

El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

hplasm
Happy

It's not fishy-

It's ATOMIC POWERED!!

Whizz for Atomms!

Spotty Ceres baffles boffins with bright patches

hplasm
Boffin

Re: What they have found is the entrance to it. Go in, and you will see

An enormous geode!

Britain needs more tech immigrants, quango tells UK.gov

hplasm
Facepalm

Ever get the feeling-

We are being robbed blind by the blind leading the blind?

COSMIC FATTY from the DAWN of TIME simply can't exist – astroboffins

hplasm
Happy

So it's a red hole!

Cosmic enormo-pucker, perhaps.

'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Boo effin' hoo

Good for you- how's that writing award shelf coming on?

B00b.

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Confused

"...end customer is using windows 8 and Office that’s what you use."

CS's End Customer is using his eyeballs. It's the bloody middleman that's using Worm.

HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

hplasm
Devil

"Are we including Star Wars in that?"

Ep 1 to 3, yes...

hplasm
Happy

Re: So why does he believe....

" "Oh look Planet Y has more fuel / food than us and we want some. Lets take it."

Oh look Planet Y has fuel / food. Lets take it.

TFTFY"

Oh look Planet Y. Lets take it.

T THTHY 2

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Yup...

"Says the AC who can't distinguish between AI and I"

A Virtual Haile Selassie...hmmm

Don't touch me up there! Photoshop creator appeals for 'ethical' use

hplasm
Coat

Re: that's one way of looking at it, here's another

> I wonder how long until they end up like all monopolies, fat and lazy.

I say it happened at least 5 years ago and I believe this is a fair assessment, others will argue for 10 years.

Every time they start to look fat and lazy, they Photoshop themselves...

Have YOU got Equation NSAware in your drives? Meh, not really our concern, says EU

hplasm
FAIL

Sometimes the Government

Need to do what they are told.

They work for us.

Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

hplasm
Terminator

Re: But does it support WPA2?

"...and 'is there a God?'"

There is now... bzzzt.

hplasm
Terminator

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world-

Please kill me!

IT knowledge is as important as Maths, says UK.gov

hplasm
Stop

Surely-

It is time to drop this 'Digital' bollocks?

Raspberry Pi, meet face: You're probably NOT Blighty's biggest PC maker!

hplasm
Happy

Pfft! Looks can be deceptive...

Amstrad != PC

as

Lord Sugar != Sid James

Torvalds turns to Sir Mix-A-Lot for Linux versioning debate

hplasm
Flame

As long as v4.0-

Is incompatible with systemd, I'd say go for it.

Virgin Media to splurge BEELLIONS on UK network infrastructure expansion

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Wholesale...

Virgin ADSL runs over BT tails, otherwise it would be VM Cable...

It's called 'offnet' for a reason.

hplasm
FAIL

Re: Good news

Well, Virgin never bought any of it, and they don't own it now if they did...

Microsoft's patchwork falls apart … AGAIN!

hplasm
Happy

A patch that breaks powerpoint?

What's wrong with that?

Ex-NASA boffin dreams of PREDATOR-ish tech in humble microwaves

hplasm
Happy

Re: Modernize the whole damned thing

"Gimbal the emitters... "

And don't forget to reverse the polarity of the tachyon flux.

Watch: China has made an internet censorship THEME SONG

hplasm
Meh

Re: China

"Internet power! The web is where glorious dreams are: examined and crushed."

FTFThem

ATTENTION SETI scientists! It's TOO LATE: ALIENS will ATTACK in 2049

hplasm
Happy

That's all very well-

But what if they are more Blobominational than Krakenesque?

They could pop up anywhere in the West- they may Already be Wobbling Amongst Us!!

Gov.UK tells Londoners: You too can cash in on the 'sharing economy'

hplasm
WTF?

Let the right one in...

It's not burglary, is it, if you invite them in and they nick off with all your stuff?

Over 50? Out of work? Watch out because IT is about to eat itself

hplasm
Headmaster

"Scaffold" is a verb?

Yes, it be.

verb

1.

attach scaffolding to (a building).

Hear that sound? It's the Windows XP PC bubble popping

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: WHAT!

"...should of done."

Have. tsk tsk...

Cortana to form circle of life in Windows 10

hplasm
Meh

What is the Swahili for

Steaming pile of spyware?

Patch now: Design flaw in Windows security allows hackers to own corporate laptops, PCs

hplasm
Devil

Oooh!

Crapsticks!

Microsoft: Even cheapo Lumias to get slimmed down Windows 10

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Wait,,,,What?

"Windows Phone 8 - Zero known vulnerabilities. Zero known malware."

Zero known users.

This optical disc will keep your gumble safe for 2,000 YEARS

hplasm
Terminator

Finally-

Something for the NSA and chums to store all our (meta)data on for the forseeable future...

$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

hplasm
Happy

Re: Awesome however

It is related to the word 'commode'...

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: One born every minute

The 1s are straighter and more defined, the 0s are rounder and smoother...

Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

hplasm
Devil

Re: GPS and SatNav

"What is the use case for this bit of tech again?"

Idiot identification.

"...Cortana"

again, idiot ID.

SWELLING moons of ice dwarf Pluto snapped by NASA spy-probe

hplasm
Happy

Re: Its a planet.

"Where an arbitrary line is drawn really makes little difference."

Er, the Equator is here- wants a word with you...

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Its a planet.

And anyone who says otherwise is a dwarf-scientist. Nyah!

Microsoft's Nadella: Congratulations on 12 months of not being Steve Ballmer

hplasm
Happy

Re: Barrack Obama???

It looks like you were trying to type 'Will' Do you want some help with that?

'Tech' City hasn't got proper broadband and it's like BT doesn't CARE

hplasm
Stop

Re: Revenue !=Profit...

Indeed. Should have stopped after "Is it necessary for state aid to subsidise BT?"