* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Don't want to upgrade to Windows 10? You'll download it WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: All praise the glorious prophet Eadon!

RegStuff T-Shirt!!

Eadon Was Right!

on the front!

hplasm
Happy

Re: Don't ya just hate it when...

"Utter irrationality is not a good start for IT."

true- it ends up with people 'never get fired for buying MS'

hplasm
Coat

Re: oh nos!

Now you know it doesn't have good mouse drivers yet, don't you?

hplasm
Pirate

Re: Something Missing

A 3Gb unwanted use of your bandwidth? People should consider billing MS for stealing their connectivity. It's like 'piracy' - Win10 is 'like a cancer'... (ooo deja vu!)

iPhone 6 gives bloke 'painful, lumpy' skin condition in trouser storage

hplasm
Happy

It's forming a battery!

He's one electrode, the fruitmobe the other, and the sweaty pocket cloth is the electrolyte.

He should find a way to us it to charge the phone- with the battery life of iThings as it is, they'll be queueing up to get a rashy leg if it doesn't mean they have to carry a charger around...

Or is this a case of iBalls?

End mass snooping and protect whistleblowers, MEPs yell at EU

hplasm
Trollface

Re: Reality theater

"Snowden will be held accountable for his damage to society."

And Anonymous Cowards will be rounded up and sent to gulags for their re-education.

Your point, again?

Ubuntu Wily gaggle builds 15.10 beta beachhead

hplasm
Paris Hilton

Re: "No Dibble or Grub"

"Trumpton...."

whoosh?

It's still 2015, and your Windows PC can still be pwned by a webpage

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: It's 2015...

"...and I still haven't seen any time-travelling DeLoreans flying around our skies."

Doc Brown did insist on trying Win 10 to control the flux-capacitor. He was wrong about the Libyans, and he was wrong about that.

hplasm
Happy

Re: Hmm

"Long gone are the days of blindly trusting MS..."

Just after DOS 6 then?

Windows 10 to grow up, turn extra enterprise-y beginning this month

hplasm
Joke

Re: I'm linking rollout to a h/w refresh

"But all (I hope) of the "telemetry" can be disabled via registry changes,..."

Hope is always good on your CV...

hplasm
Devil

Re: I'm linking rollout to a h/w refresh

"I've pencilled in 2,000 users in my organisation..."

Jeez- do you even need to pay extra for Notepad in Win 10?

Still - remember what they did to Mussolini...

NASA wants to send HEDGEHOGS to Mars

hplasm
Coat

Re: Damn...

"...eyethankewe"

Hence resistant to alien 'probing'...

French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

hplasm
Stop

Well-

If they feel they must award money for this, then there should be a condition; it must be spent on psychiatric treatment.

Windows 10 now on 75 million devices, says Microsoft

hplasm
FAIL

Are you the replacement anti-eadon?

You're not very good, are you?

Prof Hawking cracks riddle of black holes – which may be portals to other universes

hplasm
Happy

Re: Yea but

"...and you end up WHERE YOU NEED NO EYES"

Grimsby?

BYOD? More like CYOD as companies still set the parameters

hplasm
Facepalm

Why?

Why do people insist on letting their company use their kit for nothing - and then dictate how they can use their own kit??

Twenty years since Windows 95, and we still love our Start buttons

hplasm
Alert

".....your product is not a choice, it's a necessity."

That's what MS want people to believe- and it's worked up to now... until-

What's Russia smoking? Kremlin bans Wikipedia for dopey article

hplasm
Pint

Re: Crowd Control

Crowd Control - Vodka Cannons on the street!

FBI probed SciFi author Ray Bradbury for plot to glum-down America

hplasm
Big Brother

Re: What does liberal mean

"What does "liberal" actually mean when used by Americans?"

Someone who isn't shackled by my hangups- the bastards!

hplasm
Happy

Re: America

"if you still believe in the planet Vulcan..."

True, but it was just a toss-up between Venus and Mars as to where to put the US.

Venus seemed like a better fit, climate-wise.

hplasm
Happy

Re: America

By Third World you mean it should moved to Venus?

hplasm
Coat

Re: Jesus

Jesus reads Slashdot.

Manhattan-sized iceberg splits from glacier – and spotted FROM SPACE

hplasm
Windows

Re: Just where do ...

"For the record, I've opted out of procreation..."

But who will stand against the Borg then?

hplasm
Coat

Big enough to bury New York City borough under 300m of ice.

Is this a serious proposal? Could be a movie in it...

Microsoft issues first SharePoint 2016 preview

hplasm
Facepalm

Sharepoint 2016

Now you can lose your files- in the Cloud!!

Cortana Android beta goes public

hplasm
Devil

I got no place to keep her-

Can you give my Creepy Ho a home?

'Unexpected item in baggage area' assigned to rubbish area

hplasm
Joke

Re: Using your own bags

Ah - you are that annoying sod that gets in front of me! Nice range of disguises, btw.

Not as amusing as the 'helpful' PFY that kept picking up items from the scales at random and putting them in bags. His mother didn't twig either that was why the Voice kept going off every 20 seconds...

Canadians taking to spying on their spies

hplasm
Thumb Up

Go Canada!

The People, not the would-be rulers.

Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive

hplasm

Yes, I know I don't look like my profile picture. I don't have a wide-angle lens on the front of this phone.

You look like a hippo on yours.

Yes, I know you are a hippo. Just sayin' - MySpace angle...

Microsoft will explain only 'significant' Windows 10 updates

hplasm
Gimp

Re: The seem to be going in an unsavory direction...

"... most of us want to be able to play the latest games and / or run business applications."

Toybox or Shop. Always a difficult executive decision. Why not ask Teddy?

hplasm
Windows

So who are they pandering to then?

Tweens with their first tablet.

NASA dismisses asteroid apocalypse threat

hplasm
Devil

Re: Show me physical proof god exists

Duh! Look around you. See any gods?

No, but that dogturd looks a bit like a ghost...

Unholy Hong Kong hackers hit evangelicals with IE 0day

hplasm
Happy

Re: Hallelujah!

They have a direct fax line to God, don't you know?

Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank becomes TV reality

hplasm
Coat

Re: Inner City Sumo

Inner City Sumo - A CCTV camera outside Greggs.

hplasm
Meh

Well-

there's actually plenty shittonnes of money in the men's game in several countries and its pro, standard is still poor.

There you go

Spain triumphs! Fascist anthem hails Spanish badminton champ

hplasm
Happy

Re: I prefer...

Awake, ye sons of the Motherland!

Woodsmen, grasp your choppers!

Farmers, slaughter the enemies with the tool formerly used for lifting beets!

....Hey Macarena!

Pirate MEP: Microsoft's walled garden is no consumer pleasure park

hplasm
Happy

Re: Update?

"What should I do?"

Cheer!

hplasm
Devil

Re: RTFM

"What part of "sell your soul to the devil" do you not understand?"

The part where users pay him...

Apple: Samsung ripped off our phone patent! USPTO: What patent?

hplasm
Happy

Re: It wasn't just a theoretical design patent...

Siri looks more interesting on the prototype...

Capita: Listen up redundo staff, we know you're leaving but...

hplasm
WTF?

Surely-

If there are 'replacements' then the roles are not redundant?

Hey, folks. Meet the economics 'genius' behind Jeremy Corbyn

hplasm
Happy

Re: Ignorant git?

Archbishop Carey, Botherer Of god?

US Air Force reveals what's inside its top-secret space plane, this time

hplasm
WTF?

Re: The clueless whine...

The clueless whine...

You should consider that as a username. So much better than AC.

Testing times as NASA rattles Mississippi with mighty motor burn

hplasm
Coat

Impressive engine-

But who were the daredevils in the gazebo right next to the test stand?

Extreme Marshmallow Toasters?

Deaf People?

Both? ( if a, then probably now c)

Microsoft replaces Windows 10 patch update, isn't saying why

hplasm
Devil

Re: Updated 10 machines so far.

You get a few ranting that it didn't work for them whilst the other 99%didn't install it sit back and just shrug.

FTFY

hplasm
Big Brother

Bank of America have already announced that they are deploying Windows 10."

That's potentially about 230K spybot hubs.

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Me too

"No Direct-X 12 - or similar option though."

Thank $DEITY for that.

hplasm
Meh

Windows 10

Piled higher and deeper.

Windows 10 growth flattens out to 30 per cent per week

hplasm
Devil

Re: Only 30% a week?

Just the way the world works, more like. Apple has an unbreakable Reality Distortion Field, and anything MS does, sucks.

I've seen Kaspersky slap his staff with a walrus penis – and even I doubt the false-positive claims

hplasm
Coat

Re: ' Walrus Penis'

Oh! The huge manatee!!

hplasm
Devil

Re: White hats, Black hats, and Grey hats...

"And yet they can't find any Russian state-sponsored malware."

That;s because the others don't rip your arms off when they lose get detected.

WookiesPutin Some random Russians have been know to do that...