* Posts by hplasm

4740 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Linus Torvalds' lifestyle tips for hackers: Be like me, work in a bathrobe, no showers before noon

hplasm
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Happy

Bathrobes are for cissies, work naked.

Don't flick the soldering iron.

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hplasm
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Boffin

Re: One word springs to mind

"What is this showering you speak of?

Does it involve standing out in the rain or something?"

Think of it as a bath, but in torrent form, if that helps?

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Crackas With Attitude troll gets five years in prison for harassment

hplasm
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Happy

Re: American justice in action

"...revenve and retribution,..."

Surely you mean Rewenge?

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hplasm
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Re: >Who or what is a crackas?

" I remember hearing: "Release the Cracka!" or something..."

Released from asscrack, perhaps?

Icon...

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F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Dear God, no ...

"*Or sat-nav app. I've had both fail at 70 on a motorway."

Oh no! What happened then?

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Incremental updates

"The whole point of fly-by-wire systems is that they allow aircraft to be designed which are aerodynamically unstable."

Bit like the old Starfighter, then?

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hplasm
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Re: surely????

Please be advised.

Roger has been Rogered.

A-firmative.

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How alien civilizations deal with climate is a measure of how smart they are. Just sayin'...

hplasm
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Alien

Sounds like a Three Body Problem...

If they're anything like us, the aliens would just look for somewhere new to move to and screw up.

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Microsoft extends free Windows 10 S to Win 10 Pro upgrade offer

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: "Slurp tries to compete with ChromeOS and back peddles"

"...most, outside the US and the small world of fixie riders,.. "

Oddly outside of the US most people spell it Backpedalling which is correct as it has to do with feet not selling tat. However in the case of MS, peddling is probably right here...

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We experienced Windows Mixed Reality. Results: Well, mixed

hplasm
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Re: Looking stupid?

Wow - you could get a full 360 degree immersive VR in a Frank Sidebottom (RIP) head!

With room for decent surround speakers too.

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Microsoft's fix for web graphics going AWOL? Disable your antivirus

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Is IE still a thing?

Yes, I know: My own fault to use Cisco Web Config...

FTFY

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US government: We can jail you indefinitely for not decrypting your data

hplasm
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Big Brother

And yet...

"It is not indefinite - RIPA act is quite specific. 5 years per offense if memory serves me right."

Look up 'The naked rambler' case. (UK)

After 5 yrs in clink, they just arrest you again on the doorstep as you come out.

Sounds indefinite to me.

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

hplasm
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Re: Disc 0 World 1

This.

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Boffins prove oil and water CAN mix – if you do it in a gas giant

hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: Applications

" Sit down for a nice candle-lit supper with your nearest & dearest, and set off the methane "

Egg curry for supper again?

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Living in space basically shoves a warp drive into your blood stream

hplasm
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Re: This is some really useful medical science

"...every chemical in that system will inevitably become part of that environment."

That's why the space toilets took so long to perfect...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Prevention is better than cure.

"Like in Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn..."

Can't wait for the 3D remake - where Kirk exploits the 4th dimension!

Oh wait - isn't that what the bad Romulans did in the reboot..?

Space is hard. Fictional space doubly so...

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Is it possible to control Amazon Alexa, Google Now using inaudible commands? Absolutely

hplasm
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Re: Sounds reasonable

"Cortana wakes up and starts recording when I say "toilet paper"."

and states: "Wiping Windows 10..."

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James Webb Telescope will be infatuated with Europa and Enceladus

hplasm
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Alien

Didn't we vote to leave Europa?

...AND ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE.

/Space Juncker

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Vodafone won't pay employee expenses for cups of coffee

hplasm
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Holmes

"...expenses and can be offset against tax."

Aha! Voda don't need to offset tax- the Govt would end up paying them!

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Germans force Microsoft to scrap future pushy Windows 10 upgrades

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: How on earth are they discriminating

We just need common sense, thought and level heads. But I think all of those things are vanishing in Redmond, and their apologists.

FTFY.

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Calm down, internet. Elon's Musk-see SpaceX spacesuit is a bit generic

hplasm
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Re: Double vacuum

"I'm trying to think of a situation where the pressure increases inside a space suit."

There's usually an accompanying smell...

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Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Everything I don't like is a Nazi

"Is it dio-design or diode-sign or even di-ode-sign? Just wondered, whilst you're here.

My money is on dio-des-ign ...

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hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: Not a fan of white supremacists...

""Um when they march with brown shorts and ware swastika what do call them ?""

How about an air-strike?

Worked in Europe, eventually...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Nazi is a slur anyway

:%s/khazi/nazi/g

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She's arrived! HMS Queen Lizzie enters Portsmouth Naval Base

hplasm
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Re: Garbage

"Also where are you getting Exocets for €100K? They're normally about €3M."

AliExpress.

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Creepy backdoor found in NetSarang server management software

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: It does look like the companies development and distribution servers have been compromised

"Set up a shadow file system in the registry"

next:

"Set up a shadow file system in SystemD"

Shudder...

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WannaCry vanquisher Marcus Hutchins pleads not guilty to flogging banking trojan Kronos

hplasm
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Re: Framed?

"Has he had a hand in this affair?"

Just a little one.

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World's largest private submarine in mystery sink accident

hplasm
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Happy

Re: But, but, but ..

It's 'whoosh whoosh whoosh'...

Sarcastic propellers overhead.

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: What's sixze got to do with it?

"I would of thought that was a major weak spot."

Second only to the grammar that has been crushed...

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Kaspersky axes antitrust complaints against Microsoft after Windows giant vows to play nice

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: In Time

We will be free of the CRAPWARE that is called Windows.

You're Welcome.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Get real everyone

MSFT is the only OS supplier than doesn't create profitable demand and writes and releases malware into the wild.

FTFY, Fanboi.

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Don't buy Microsoft Surface gear: 25% will break after 2 years, says Consumer Reports

hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: "...we don't believe these findings..."

""Microsoft Surface Pro is designed and built with performance and reliability in mind,""

Just what they keep saying about their OS too...

Where's the burning pants icon?

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Hey America! Your internet is going to be so much better this January

hplasm
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Facepalm

When did El Reg, a once rather conservative British tabloid,

What??

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Schoolboy bags $10,000 reward from Google with easy HTTP Host bypass

hplasm
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Happy

Re: There are an infinite number of monkeys out there

"who are happy to pen test your network for peanuts."

Multitasking whilst writing Shakespeare?

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Cancel the farewell party. Get back to work. That asteroid isn't going to hit Earth in October

hplasm
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Re: Aim is improving.

Third attempt: 12 Million Light Years.

(Sorry El Reg- couldn't resist...)

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: damn

"> i'd ordered butt plugs and everything."

"WHY!"

Brown trousers are still at the dry-cleaners...

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Revealed: The naughty tricks used by web ads to bypass blockers

hplasm
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Re: On the other hand...

""Brisbanetimes.com.au I'm looking at you.""

No yer not! We think you have an ad-blocker!

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Official: Windows for Workstations returns in Fall Creators Update

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: What about auto-updates?

"I have half a dozen Windows 10 PCs and none - yes none - do this."

You really should update your Windows boxes regularly, you know.

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US border cops must get warrants to search phones, devices – EFF

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Remote Desktop...

"Just take a new USB Live version of Linux with you,"

Or, I hate to say it - Windows To Go...

Ew.

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Microsoft's Surface Pro 2017, unhinged: Luxury fondleslab that's good...

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: "Does it run Mint?"

"911 prices, 911 bodywork, air-cooled Beetle engine."

ITYM

'911 prices, 911 bodywork, lame horse.'

(Nothing wrong with the air-cooled Beetle engine- the 911 has a 6 cylinder version.)

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It's 2017 and Hyper-V can be pwned by a guest app, Windows by a search query, Office by...

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Products have flaws,,,,

"So show me a OS that does that?"

You keep saying that, over and over, and yet the Windows turd remains unpolished.

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HMS Queen Liz will arrive in Portsmouth soon, says MoD

hplasm
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Re: ship design philosophy question

"Bridge and battle bridge to allow for saucer detachment."

...Lest the cup is destroyed in action.

It is a British ship...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: I've been thinking about cheap ways to kill carriers.

"I'm sure your going to get a knock at your door ..lay face down arms spread and no sudden movements .."

Sir, can you put your hands in the yellow circles, please?

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China can't find anyone smart enough to run its whizzbang $180m 1,640ft radio telescope

hplasm
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Unhappy

I would do it...

But I'm totally unqualified in every way.

Sounds like 'a great opportunity for the right candidate' though.

Good lUck, Chinese astroboffins!

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CMD.EXE gets first makeover in 20 years in new Windows 10 build

hplasm
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What is Windows? Sounds innovative

A product that is a Transparent Ripoff...

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Teen who texted boyfriend to kill himself gets 15 months jail

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Surprising..

"...he could of done a 100 different things"

No. Words have consequences. And grammar.

"And you wonder why the term cuck is becoming so popular."

Only between idiots.

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Uber drivers game Uber's system like Uber games the entire planet

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Whatever way you look at it...

it's a mugs game, life.

/Marvin.

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Microsoft: We beat Google, AWS to cloudy GPU VMs in Blighty

hplasm
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Excellent news!

Now customers can get their work finished whilst the MS cloud is still up.

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'Real' people want govts to spy on them, argues UK Home Secretary

hplasm
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Re: well played poms

The Encryption Ashes, eh? I think we have a new ElReg passtime to keep an eye on!

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Skype for Business is not Skype – realising that is half the battle

hplasm
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Devil

Re: "it was possible to organise building an atom bomb"

"It was achieved putting all the needed people in the same place... and ensuring nobody could go."

Like some sort of...walled garden!

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