* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Cops blasted for relying on IP addresses to hunt down suspects

hplasm
Holmes

Dear Fuzz- here's how it goes.

1. Get a clue *

2.Get evidence

3.get a warrant.

* yes, in both senses of the word.

Pretending to be a badger wins Oxford Don 10 TRILLION DOLLARS

hplasm
Coat

Re: From Junior to Senior Pinocchio

Q: How do you know a politician is lying?

A: He's Tony Blair.

Thanks, all week, veal etc.

Korean cargo line bailout saves Christmas for tech companies

hplasm
Thumb Up

Aha-

So the stranded student(s) on board can also go home?

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2016/sep/14/artist-stranded-container-ship-rebecca-moss-hanjin

BT Openreach boss wants you to know that deep down, they care

hplasm
Devil

Re: and in other news

Opencrotch- for obvious reasons once you have dealt with them via BT central...

Windows Server 2016: Leg up or lock in?

hplasm
FAIL

Re: There are other servers?

Does anyone sane run windows Server?

0/10 must troll harder...

Windows 10 backlash: Which? demands compo for forced upgrades

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: Am I been too technical, in saying the 3P&3Bs: prepare, prepare, prepare + backup,backup,backup.

"The Grammer Police are out in full today."

Grammar. You knew this was coming, didn't you?

My God, I've got nothing on! Microsoft's $200m Wunderlist is down

hplasm
Coat

Newsflash!

13 million people don't know what to do!

hplasm
Happy

Re: Just use Google Keep.

"...info about one and one's conversations etc on it."

Is that the Posh Rastafarian Facebook page?

hplasm
FAIL

Quotation without content...

“Commitment to delivering market leading mobile apps across the platforms and devices our customers use..."

Delivering them to where? /dev/null?

Microsoft deletes Windows 10 nagware from Windows 7 and 8

hplasm
Gimp

Re: so difficult in fact that Debian have been doing it

"I think..."

Ah- MS also fail hard on servers; you were saying...

hplasm
Gimp

Re: how badly they fuck up something so simple

"... robustly updating ..."

HAHAHAHAHA!!

MI6 to hire another 1,000 bods 'cos of private surveillance tech

hplasm
Happy

re: Why not get everyone to wear burkas?

How about Guy Fawkes masks...?

hplasm
Coat

Re: Dangerous work

"The people we face today would kill us as soon as look at us."

What, at work? That's harsh!

Lenovo denies claims it plotted with Microsoft to block Linux installs

hplasm
Windows

Re: Microsoft will be paying vendors to deploy their malware os Windows 10....

And do we give one about what Microsoft think?

We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

hplasm
Coat

Can't spell?

Tip:

Don't eat the Bogburger.

hplasm
Happy

Re: Quick...

Poke a hole in the burger and push the hotdog into it.

The Blackholedogger.

Bun may need to be 4 Dimensional...

hplasm
Holmes

Hamdogs-

10000000% * better patent than any software patent.

* I know, I know...

Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

hplasm
Happy

Re: What A Way To Go....

"That would be pronounced "My-co--za-flow--pin"."

You you really think so? Here?

Wow, RIP hackers ... It's Cyber-Lord Blunkett to the rescue for UK big biz

hplasm
Coat

Cyber Force!

It's like the Blin... oh never mind...

Are you sure you want to outsource IT? Yes/No. Check this box to accept Ts&Cs

hplasm
Happy

Re: The Cloud...

"They all float up here..." q.v. Clown Computing... "Other peoples computers you have no control over... Hahahaha! "

Greybeards beware: Hair dye for blokes outfit Just For Men served trojan

hplasm
Paris Hilton

Fancy that!

Just for Men has a website.

But why... "Hey! Guess what? I'm secretly grey!" ?? I can't see it being popular.

Microsoft sues Wisconsin man (again) for copyright infringement (again)

hplasm
Devil

Re: Maybe he can...

Ah, but RedHat is turning into Windows Lite*, so that would be different.

(* You know I was going to say SystemD** here, so I won't bother...)

** Or whatever. Pile of shit.by any other name...

Will US border officials demand social network handles from visitors?

hplasm
Facepalm

Stupid questions...

Answered by stupid people.

What will they do if you don't have or use SM? Not let you in?

'Don't go' would be the answer- but see above...

Margaret Hodge's book outlines 'mind boggling' UK public sector waste

hplasm
Unhappy

Re: Sheep shall safely graze

Maybe, but if a company screws up too many times it gets more Government procurement contacts.

FTFY...

Target lost, Cruz missile misses: Ted's ICANN crusade is basically over

hplasm
Pint

Re: The Bill, and Ted's excellent adventure

Excellent!

CSC straps another 100 jobs to redundo cannon, lights fuse, walks off

hplasm
Go

Re: “over-capacity” in the sales force and within the “delivery organisations”

Sounds like time for all to jump ship!

Remember how Bugs Bunny used to step out of the falling elevator just as it hit the ground? Just like that...

Fanbois iVaporate: Smallest Apple iPhone queues ever

hplasm
Pint

Re: Hmm

Have an Internet! COTW!

hplasm
Gimp

Re: <Shrug>

"I use, and prefer, iPhones.."

So you already look like a fool? Saves time I suppose.

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Hardly Scientific

"iPhone doesn't have a target market...."

Probably the same as Coca Cola's, McD's, Disney etc.

Bored twits with too much spare cash.

BTW- you have spittle on your iPhone 7. Best to queue up for a new one...

hplasm
Gimp

Fanboys who only dream of innovation

Can't wait for the next iInnovation- the no-Screen iPhone.

National Cyber Security Centre to shift UK to 'active' defence

hplasm
WTF?

Active Defence?

DDos the class A address space, proactively...

Audi works with Chinese technology companies to develop intelligent cars

hplasm
Joke

Will they do one for Rap music?

In collaboration with 50Cent?

Spinners optional...

hplasm
Coat

Re: We'll need self diving cars

"...self diving cars..."

Another use for MS Surface tech?

hplasm
Devil

Audi Intelligent cars.

Lock their drivers out*. Film at 11.

*After monitoring whether indicators have ever been used or not.

Remote hacker nabs Win10 logins in 'won't-fix' Safe Mode* attack

hplasm
Happy

Re: Parable: The Return of the Prodical Son.

Protological?

hplasm
Happy

Re: The fun* never ends

* Other fun may be available.

Lauri Love extradition A-OK

hplasm
Meh

Cue gloating-

-by the usual suspect(s).

Rise of the Machines at Sea: The British firm building robot boats

hplasm
Pint

Re: Submarine tracker

"...drop a small roboat..."

Well done Efros- Roboat is now a thing!

Have a beer!

hplasm
Coat

Re: "do things in a very responsible way"

But- it is a Surface Craft...

Two Sundays wrecked by boss who couldn't use a calendar

hplasm
Devil

Re: "Have you been forced to do utterly pointless work?"

"pointless filling-in of time sheets"

tha's the first thing that goes down on them- every day.

hplasm
Meh

Re: At least make sure your contract include TOIL

Maybe you interpret this differently "and, worst of all, his contract didn't include overtime"

Indeed- it also didn't say that he worked on weekends for nothing.

hplasm
Boffin

Re: Powering up in the right order

"Is it possible to design a network that will..."

The 'network' would probably be fine. The convoluted jenga stack that passes for 'modern' servers, not so much.

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: At least make sure your contract include TOIL

To be accurate- it doesn't say he wasn't paid, but he wasn't paid Extra for the overtime.

ie The US model...

Azure is on fire, your DNS is terrified

hplasm
Windows

"I know which one I'll take."

In house MS button pushers or Azure MS button pushers? Why choose- just close your eyes and toss a coin.

hplasm
Happy

Re: The cloud strikes again

3Jane finds your lack of faith disturbing, young Tessier-Ashpool...

hplasm
Holmes

Blimey!

Who would ever think such a thing could happen?

Microsoft: Our AI speech recognition mangles your words the least

hplasm
Coat

Re: So effing what.

"all that sort of information to the likes of Microsoft, Goole and the rest."

It's not Goole you need to worry about, it's Scunthorpe.

hplasm
Happy

"I'm sorry Dave," said Cortana, sadly.

"I haven't a clue what you're on about. And your nose wobbles when you speak, did you know that? It's very distracting. Now what were you saying again? Eh? What? "

Microsoft Desktop Bridge opens, Win32 apps can now cross into Windows Store

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Too late for me

That's a good start, at least!

Ted Cruz channels Senator McCarthy in wrongheaded internet power grab crusade

hplasm
Holmes

I don't know much about Cruz.

But I do know now that he's an idiot.