* Posts by hplasm

4476 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

UK surveillance law raises concerns security researchers could be 'deputised' by the state

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: I see your warrant, GCHQ,

"Warrant trumps invoice, I think you'll find."

'Sod off I don't work for nothing',trumps Warrant.

Checkmate.

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hplasm
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Big Brother

I see your warrant, GCHQ,

And raise you my invoice. Look at all of those zeros!

What, free? Sod off.

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German robo-pastor preaches the GNU Testament

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: So how long before this thing

What? So where do all the dead calculators go?

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Windows XP crashed too much to spread WannaCrypt

hplasm
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Windows

Re: And Microsoft is more than happy to oblige (for the right payment of course).

"What would you prefer?"

Software that isn't so shitty?

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India sets June 5 as the day it will join the heavy-lift rocket club

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Geostationary vs. LEO

"If they said it had a lunch capability of say 4 tonnes..."

I would say it was a fat bastard!

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Windows 10 love to see PC market grow again. Future iPhone to be clear. Elvis to re-appear

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: The penguin's egg problem

This ^^^^

This very thing. And not to mention the MCSEs et al...

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NHS Digital stopped short of advising against paying off WannaCrypt

hplasm
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Thumb Down

Anyone-

Who starts off with "We support organisations in cyber..."

Is certainly worth listening to.

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Windows is now built on Git, but Microsoft has found some bottlenecks

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: GVFS sounds super dumb

"I don't know what's wrong with:

cp file file.old"

Remember what you're dealing with...

C:\>cp file file.old

'cp' is not recognized as an internal or external command,

operable program or batch file.

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Media players wide open to malware fired from booby-trapped subtitles

hplasm
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Coat

Re: didn't read it

All of these things should not be tard with the same brush.

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How good are selfies these days? Good enough to fool Samsung Galaxy S8 biometrics

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Three pillars of identity

"So what happens when ..."

You've probably forgotten where you left your phone already. No problem.

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It's just 'Pro' now, guys: Microsoft gives Surface a subtle resurfacing

hplasm
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Linux

Re: i7 16GB/1TB is £2,699 – all prices inclusive of VAT.

No rattle here- must be the fan on your Surface.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: i7 16GB/1TB is £2,699 – all prices inclusive of VAT.

"I can't see any Linux-on-the-desktop soap-dodgers spaffing nearly 3 grand one of these."

Yes; these are not the suckers you are looking for.

"Doesn't Argos sell a Linux tablet for £200?"

That's much better value than this C-level merit badge.

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Chinese e-tailer beats Amazon to the skies with one-ton delivery drones

hplasm
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Happy

do..you...

...need..a..stamp...?

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'Tabby's Star' intrigues astro-boffins with brief 'dimming event'

hplasm
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Coat

It's....

A Giant StarMoth.

That is all

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Gravitational waves permanently change spacetime, say astroboffins

hplasm
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Pint

Re: stretching effects on quantum foam? Eddy's in the Space-Time Continuum?

Less Quantum Foam- more Quantum Beer!

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Nukes tests caused space weather, say NASA boffins

hplasm
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Re: musicians who swear by their tube amplifiers

"The Vox AC-30 is a thing of beauty ..."

SaidJimmy Page, no less.

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IoT needs security, says Microsoft without even a small trace of irony

hplasm
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Devil

"Seems they've learned to talk the talk, but can they learn to walk the walk?"

Not with those shot-to-bits feet...

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Shadow Brokers resurface, offer to sell fresh 'wine of month' club exploits

hplasm
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Meh

"Holding world+dog at ransom..."

Just like a 'proper' IT megacorp...

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Drugs, vodka, Volvo: The Scandinavian answer to Britain's future new border

hplasm
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Happy

Re: And this tackles people who cycle or walk past ...

"People who cycle or walk aren't carrying tonnes of taxable goods[1]. "

Bicycle full of mercury?

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Microsoft touts next Windows 10 Creators Update: It's set for a Fall

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Failed Creation Edition!

Not a Creationist, then?

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Oh, great: There's a new Same Origin Policy exploit for Edge

hplasm
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Holmes

"...perhaps is an intrinsic problem and it is simply that we don't know what it is."

Is it not bad programming?

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Well this is awkward. As Microsoft was bragging about Office at Build, Office 365 went down

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Why Office 365 isn't down much.

Ah - but isn't it down to 34something now?

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RBS is to lay off 92 UK techies and outsource jobs to India – reports

hplasm
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Meh

92 Techs-

-but no beancounters?

Shurely shome mistake?

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IBM: Customer visit costing £75 in travel? Kill it with extreme prejudice

hplasm
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Meh

Nobody got fired for buying IBM-

- In the days when they used to turn up on site to fix things...

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US copyright law shake-up: Days of flinging stuff on the web and waiting for a DMCA may be over

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Contemporary Hollywood films do not pass the threshold of originality required by copyright

"I would've died of laughter seeing the Windows computer infect the alien computer..."

To be fair, it was a Mac...(Powerbook 5300 sez Goog.)

MS product placement tends to be on the less-than-Hollywood-budget productions.

But I can see where you get the connection.

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Today's bonkers bug report: Microsoft Edge can't print numbers

hplasm
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Meh

Re: And all the students that get stuck with Windows S!

"...Presumably you can still install CutePDF writer"

Is it in the Store?

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hplasm
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Coat

Both users should take note.

Yes, all 4 of them are irate, and another 5 have switched to OS276.

That just leaves 7.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: And all the students that get stuck with Windows S!

'Microsoft ate my homework, Miss!'

Wows! Will the clown car ever empty?

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Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

hplasm
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Coat

Which one ?

"What is it with bellends and rings?

Not going to have one near my todger, too many things that can go wrong."

Bellend or ring?

*edit* Too slow! 'Bin Audited, Evilly...

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Windows 10 S forces Bing, Edge on your kids. If you don't like it, get Win10 Pro – Microsoft

hplasm
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Devil

Re: "ask Bing anything uncommon" ...

" I just searched the same with Bing and got nothing of the sort."

That's what he said.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: A few thoughts of mine.

"So if it can't run WIN32 can we use sales of goods act over them calling it Windows?"

No, because it is broken...

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Meh, I give it a few months

goggle?

WinSpellChkr borked again?

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Hmm ChromeOS

"...more sophisticated users won't use it anyway

Meh.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Meh, I give it a few months

"Good, then can we talk about not being able to install Firefox on my Chromebook?"

Can't find out how to do it on Bing? Oh dear.

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S is for Sandbox: The logic behind Microsoft's new lockdown Windows gambit

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: @big_D -- Windows Store, oh goody!

"How stupid does someone have to be?"

So that's what the 'S' is for!

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Microsoft Azure capacity woes hit UK customers. Yes, you read that right

hplasm
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Facepalm

UK and no Cloud?

Only MS could achieve this.

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You only need 60 bytes to hose Linux's rpcbind

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It seems no one likes writing data validation code

"...protocol code should be written by an FSM writing tool. "

All hail His Spaghetti Code!

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Flatpak and Snaps aren't destined for graveyard of failed Linux tech yet

hplasm
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Devil

Ha!

"...keeping compatibility so one person can still use the WIN16 program they wrote to do their taxes twenty years ago, on Win10."

You'd think MS execs could afford a Quickbooks license...

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Windows 10 S: Good, bad, and how this could get ugly for PC makers

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Blanket Laptops.....

"Did anyone else think of the saying, "stick like sh!t to a blanket" - could be some issues."

Wouldn't wipe my arse on it...

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Linux

"I see no simple global admin.

I see no simple set / install and configure.

I see no integration with Office 365"

And so, on to the bad points?

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hplasm
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Devil

So...

Can they run ChromeOS?

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Oracle links to LinkedIn so its salesware can sniff you out

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: The problem with linkedIn is

I thought this might happen, so when LI was gobbled up, I first deleted all info from my profile, saved it, put in a load of old bollox, saved it, deleted it, saved it, changed the password and then closed the account.

OK so far ...

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Unpaid tech contractor: 'I have to support my family. I have no money for medicines'

hplasm
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Pint

Re: Why we love El Reg

Thanks El Reg!

I'm not affected by this, but I bet those that are are grateful for your help.

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Microsoft sparks new war with Google with, er, $999+ lappies for kids

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Just give it native printer support and it will clean up

If only you could print from a Chromebook directly... oh wait- you can.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Minecraft subscription?

"Only in The Colonies. Microsoft are known as Slurp elsewhere....

FTFY

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SpaceX spin-out plans to put virtual machines in orbit

hplasm
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Coat

Vector?

Isn't he after the Moon?

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It's a question worth asking: Why is the FCC boss being such a jerk?

hplasm
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Headmaster

Ambigous, much.

"... as if we were not quite human. We are."

...not quite human? Siamese, if you please? Devo?

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Don't install our buggy Windows 10 Creators Update, begs Microsoft

hplasm
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Devil

Re: How do you abort the update? @ Updraft102

"Oh, look - a new meaning for the word bless ...."

...originally perhaps ‘mark or consecrate with blood'. (Oxforddictionaries.com)

An old meaning, perhaps, but with the twist that the blood has been digested first...

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UK.gov throws hissy fit after Twitter chokes off snoop firm's access

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Re Mr. Python

"So the government is filled with Gumbys?"

Yes- oddly true, whoever gets in.

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iPhone lawyers literally compare Apples with Pears in trademark war

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Not like you'd do it yourself

You forgot this --->

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