* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Ah, good ol' Windows update cycles... Wait, before anything else, check your hardware

hplasm
Thumb Down

Shill shit.

Tut Tut.

You lost your ballpoint pen, Slack? Why's your Linux version unsigned?

hplasm
Windows

Re: To quote...

As you are fond of saying-

"yaaaaaaawnnnn"

You need new material.

Behold, says robo-mall-cop maker: Our crime-busting dune buggy packed with spy gear

hplasm
Joke

Finally-

A proper target for all those guns...

Microsoft's AI is so good it steered Renault into bottom of the F1 league

hplasm
Holmes

"It will be a completely brand new experience for the fans."

But not, I suspect, a very satisfying one...

NASA Earthonauts emerge from eight-month isolation in simulated Mars visit

hplasm
Happy

I'm trying to figure out why else they'd need a "British science" officer.

He's the one that turns evil - the accent is the clue.

<spoiler> Also is a robot.

New HMRC IT boss to 'recuse' herself over Microsoft decisions

hplasm
Meh

Re: £180,000 per annum role

So we will be supplying her coffee and nothing else?

Equifax UK admits: 400,000 Brits caught up in mega-breach

hplasm
Unhappy

Re: equifax stock price still ~$90

"Why cant folks hash their databases and..."

Because in this case, and probably many more, they don't have the tiniest clue of what they are supposed to be doing.

Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

hplasm
Happy

Re: Dover

"On the other hand for those liable to seasickness even on the short trip to Calais it was a godsend."

Er, no - not in rough seas, if sat at the front.

I did, and am not prone to seasickness, but with a 6-12 ft swell, and people lifting out of their seats as the nose dipped up and down, I did puke, as did everyone else in there.

I was about 12 though.

the secret, I found out on the return trip, was to sit near the rear. a bit more noisy, but more level...

Linux 4.14 'getting very core new functionality' says Linus Torvalds

hplasm
Windows

Waiting for a reboot reboot reboot?

You dropped this >

Why the Apple Watch with LTE means a very Apple-y sort of freedom

hplasm
Holmes

Re: Virtual ?

Hint: Virtual servers aren't run in bags of gas, you know.

Farewell Cassini! NASA's Saturnian spacecraft waves goodbye for its Grand Finale

hplasm
Facepalm

FTA: "The shuttle was to point its antennas..."

There is no F in Shuttle!!!!

It's a frigging probe.

CBBC article? Come on Reg!

Hubble catches a glimpse WASP-12b, an almost pitch-black exoplanet

hplasm
Linux

Black planet, black world

Gothworld!

Penguin coz... close enuff...

Python explosion blamed on pandas

hplasm
Happy

Re: approachable for novice programmers?

"Where do the packages reside?"

China -Where the Panda repositories are.

hplasm
Mushroom

Python explosion blamed on pandas

Obviously.

Put a panda into a python and it will explode.

viz. -->

Microsoft pitches encrypted Azure to keep cloud data secret

hplasm
Holmes

Microsoft pitches encrypted Azure to keep cloud data secret

But from whom..?

Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid.

"Gambling is for people who can't do math(s)."

[caveat]: Winning at Gambling is for people who cando math(s) well.

Would you get in a one-man quadcopter air taxi?

hplasm
Happy

Re: Badge

Yes, I think the logo should be a Beagle II... er, too.

Windows 10 Creators Update will add app-level privacy controls

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Take a Stand...

"... a large majority of enterprise software which will only work on Windows."

Said a senior Powerpoint user.

hplasm
Windows

Re: Take a Stand...

"Until then it's just a toy OS for me to play with occasionally."

Well as a Windows user, you are used to using a Toy OS...

Violent moon mishap will tear Uranus a new ring or two

hplasm
Devil

Re: Well, i hope it happens ...

"...does anyone have their contact details?"

Don't you just send up the Mo signal and wait?

Giant frikkin' British laser turret to start zapping stuff next year

hplasm
Happy

All they need is a new knob...

What, more changes in the boardroom?

Homeland Security drops the hammer on Kaspersky Lab with preemptive ban

hplasm
Holmes

Re: McCarthy Lives

'Un-American Activities.'

Whatever the rest of the world does.

Oracle to shutter most Euro hardware support teams

hplasm
Happy

Re: Another Step

"just needs to steal his Iron Man suit from Elon Musk now."

FTFY

Linus Torvalds' lifestyle tips for hackers: Be like me, work in a bathrobe, no showers before noon

hplasm
Linux

Re: Working from home.

""while coding a kernel in his bathrobe..."

Linus: First, install the kernel in your bathrobe...

hplasm
Happy

Re: Personally, I shower AFTER work.

"I prefer to go to bed clean."

...and then get dirty!

hplasm
Happy

Bathrobes are for cissies, work naked.

Don't flick the soldering iron.

hplasm
Boffin

Re: One word springs to mind

"What is this showering you speak of?

Does it involve standing out in the rain or something?"

Think of it as a bath, but in torrent form, if that helps?

Crackas With Attitude troll gets five years in prison for harassment

hplasm
Happy

Re: American justice in action

"...revenve and retribution,..."

Surely you mean Rewenge?

hplasm
Flame

Re: >Who or what is a crackas?

" I remember hearing: "Release the Cracka!" or something..."

Released from asscrack, perhaps?

Icon...

F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

hplasm
Happy

Re: Dear God, no ...

"*Or sat-nav app. I've had both fail at 70 on a motorway."

Oh no! What happened then?

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Incremental updates

"The whole point of fly-by-wire systems is that they allow aircraft to be designed which are aerodynamically unstable."

Bit like the old Starfighter, then?

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: surely????

Please be advised.

Roger has been Rogered.

A-firmative.

How alien civilizations deal with climate is a measure of how smart they are. Just sayin'...

hplasm
Alien

Sounds like a Three Body Problem...

If they're anything like us, the aliens would just look for somewhere new to move to and screw up.

Microsoft extends free Windows 10 S to Win 10 Pro upgrade offer

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: "Slurp tries to compete with ChromeOS and back peddles"

"...most, outside the US and the small world of fixie riders,.. "

Oddly outside of the US most people spell it Backpedalling which is correct as it has to do with feet not selling tat. However in the case of MS, peddling is probably right here...

We experienced Windows Mixed Reality. Results: Well, mixed

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Looking stupid?

Wow - you could get a full 360 degree immersive VR in a Frank Sidebottom (RIP) head!

With room for decent surround speakers too.

Microsoft's fix for web graphics going AWOL? Disable your antivirus

hplasm
Holmes

Re: Is IE still a thing?

Yes, I know: My own fault to use Cisco Web Config...

FTFY

US government: We can jail you indefinitely for not decrypting your data

hplasm
Big Brother

And yet...

"It is not indefinite - RIPA act is quite specific. 5 years per offense if memory serves me right."

Look up 'The naked rambler' case. (UK)

After 5 yrs in clink, they just arrest you again on the doorstep as you come out.

Sounds indefinite to me.

Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Disc 0 World 1

This.

Boffins prove oil and water CAN mix – if you do it in a gas giant

hplasm
Mushroom

Re: Applications

" Sit down for a nice candle-lit supper with your nearest & dearest, and set off the methane "

Egg curry for supper again?

Living in space basically shoves a warp drive into your blood stream

hplasm
Coat

Re: This is some really useful medical science

"...every chemical in that system will inevitably become part of that environment."

That's why the space toilets took so long to perfect...

hplasm
Happy

Re: Prevention is better than cure.

"Like in Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn..."

Can't wait for the 3D remake - where Kirk exploits the 4th dimension!

Oh wait - isn't that what the bad Romulans did in the reboot..?

Space is hard. Fictional space doubly so...

Is it possible to control Amazon Alexa, Google Now using inaudible commands? Absolutely

hplasm
Coat

Re: Sounds reasonable

"Cortana wakes up and starts recording when I say "toilet paper"."

and states: "Wiping Windows 10..."

James Webb Telescope will be infatuated with Europa and Enceladus

hplasm
Alien

Didn't we vote to leave Europa?

...AND ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE.

/Space Juncker

Vodafone won't pay employee expenses for cups of coffee

hplasm
Holmes

"...expenses and can be offset against tax."

Aha! Voda don't need to offset tax- the Govt would end up paying them!

Germans force Microsoft to scrap future pushy Windows 10 upgrades

hplasm
Gimp

Re: How on earth are they discriminating

We just need common sense, thought and level heads. But I think all of those things are vanishing in Redmond, and their apologists.

FTFY.

Calm down, internet. Elon's Musk-see SpaceX spacesuit is a bit generic

hplasm
Flame

Re: Double vacuum

"I'm trying to think of a situation where the pressure increases inside a space suit."

There's usually an accompanying smell...

Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

hplasm
Happy

Re: Everything I don't like is a Nazi

"Is it dio-design or diode-sign or even di-ode-sign? Just wondered, whilst you're here.

My money is on dio-des-ign ...

hplasm
Happy

Re: Nazi is a slur anyway

:%s/khazi/nazi/g

She's arrived! HMS Queen Lizzie enters Portsmouth Naval Base

hplasm
Coat

Re: Garbage

"Also where are you getting Exocets for €100K? They're normally about €3M."

AliExpress.

Creepy backdoor found in NetSarang server management software

hplasm
Pirate

Re: It does look like the companies development and distribution servers have been compromised

"Set up a shadow file system in the registry"

next:

"Set up a shadow file system in SystemD"

Shudder...