* Posts by hplasm

4654 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all

hplasm
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Re: Dr. WHO?

A Microsoft TARDIS?

Oh, just No.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: My. Brain. Hurts.

"How long until science enters the realm of 'indistinguishable from magic' for most people?"

At least 15-20 years...ago.

Sad, isn't it.

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hplasm
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Devil

In other news-

Microsoft thinks Timecube is also viable.

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'Oi! El Reg! Stop pretending Microsoft has a BSOD monopoly!'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: A lot of these time....

"...bottom of the range windows PC's"

As opposed to -??? windows PCs?

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Airbag bug forces GM to recall 4.3m vehicles – but eh, how about those self-driving cars, huh?

hplasm
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Coat

Re: What about an OTA update??

"Do any cars attempt to rely on wifi?"

Er, Google street view?

*goes darknet*

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hplasm
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Pint

Re: The recall does not extend to Bulgaria

Sir!

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hplasm
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Re: And the 'Sentence of the Year' award goes to...

"Nowadays, everything suffers from systemd syndrome. "

I prefer this. With big brass knobs on.

The epitaph of the early 2000s.

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hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Checking online might be difficult if...

"One would think the high end vehicles would get the "better" systems."

But not the better drivers, eh? Think about it.

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Spoof an Ethernet adapter on USB, and you can sniff credentials from locked laptops

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: So...

"Sherlock, I guess he used a letter knife instead."

Or the long letter tweezers loved by the Stazi, to unroll and extract without opening the envelope...

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Sophos Windows users face black screens after false positive snafu

hplasm
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Re: Tinfoil hats on

No need- the joke is in the OS!

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Windows 10 now rules the weekend, taking over from Windows 7

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

In other news shop doorways, alleys and telephone boxes take over from toilets at weekends.

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Ice to see you! Windows 10 fix for freezing PCs finally flung at folks

hplasm
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Devil

Microsoft doesn't say if the update will fix the other issues-

- or just add more new ones.

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Watch SpaceX's rocket dramatically detonate, destroying a $200m Facebook satellite

hplasm
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Meh

Re: I have mixed feelings about this...

" Facebook isn't the loser here."

But maybe Africa is the winner?

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: cant see much

"arrayAllEngines[9].Start(); // Start the engine in the middle of stage 1"

Windows in spacecraft. And I thought Alien was a horror story!

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Still got a floppy drive? Here's a solution for when 1.44MB isn't enough

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 3.5Mb? Floppy?

Aha- fixed now.

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hplasm
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Paris Hilton

3.5Mb? Floppy?

1.44Mb, 3.5 in, shurely?

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Cooky crumbles: Apple mulls yanking profits out of Europe and into US

hplasm
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Pint

Re: He can huff, he can puff, but he will pay

"I wish I could have upvoted you more for your post. Spot on!"

Me too!

Particularly for this bit:-

"...we went to the moon when we paid taxes and we cannot even contemplate it today..."

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Want a Windows 10 update? Don't go to Microsoft ... please

hplasm
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So-

It sucks your bandwidth while it gradually sorts itself out;

Then it does it again, many more times to update others at your expense, not MS's.

How sociable* of them...

* Socialist, to USAuans, I suppose...

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Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

hplasm
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Meh

Fully autonomous cars may never reach public roads

...according to the chairman of the US National Transportation Safety Board.

Ahem-

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." -- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

And he was quite bright, they say.

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BT boils over, blows off Steam, accuses Valve of patent infringement

hplasm
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Re: Bastard Telecom....

+1 Internet, plus another for spelling and using 'peddle' correctly!

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Newest Royal Navy warship weighs as much as 120 London buses

hplasm
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Re: El Reg Units

The double decker bus is a unit of Wait, usually.

Then three turn up at once, like quarks. Strange, that.

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Windows 10 Anniversary on a Raspberry Pi: Another look at IoT Core

hplasm
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Happy

Re: We should use neither

It's all firmishware. Some more firm than others...

And Win10- in the article- which is another kettle of... something.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: We should use neither

"...would you fly on an Airbus that was being run by a Pi?"

Rather than one that was run by Windows, yes.

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Astronauts sequence DNA in space for the first time

hplasm
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Happy

Re: They took e coli into space????

"So what?" Leading British scientist Dr Quatermass was quoted as saying. "The chances of anything... Oh I say! Look at that...!"

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OneLogin breached, hacker finds cleartext credential notepads

hplasm
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Meh

"...what is wrong with a password-protected Excel file..."

Excel- that bit.

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Microsoft releases firmware fix for faulty Surface Pro 3 batteries

hplasm
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Re: So far so good...

"A big H. I hope that's ok with you, Hplasm..."

Indeed, you are correct, and I stand in the corner, having failed to proofread. :(

Thumb up for truth, and to represent my fat-fingers.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: So far so good...

On the downside, the CPU is running at 1Mhz now.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: For sale- 10000 m mains extension lead.

"Is that the irritating one that uses "summit" as a verb?"

Yep- and isn't even a Yorkshire lass!

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hplasm
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Windows

For sale- 10000 m mains extension lead.

Contact "I'm a mountain guide and a Surface user" from the TV ad.

Yeah... and statistics.

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Microsoft Outlook.com redecoration delay rumors: THE TRUTH

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Why have they broken Hotmail?

Things have to match...

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Reports: Autopilot will go on strike if you're not paying attention

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Self Driving Cars ...

Aimed? As in running them over?

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Labour's Jeremy Corbyn wants high speed broadband for all. Wow, original idea there

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Why ?

"I can download films 10 times faster than I can watch them."

Yeah? I bet you have a 405 line b/w TV too... that would save d/l bandwidth alright...

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New booze guidelines: We'd rather you didn't enjoy yourselves

hplasm
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Meh

Re: because you can't enjoy yourself without a drink?

"From a grumpy ex-alcoholic. :-P"

From the Preachy-Ex brigade...

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Windows Update borks PowerShell – Microsoft won't fix it for a week

hplasm
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Happy

Re: we can't predict ... whether it will work today or not.

"Where did you want to go today?"

Win10 version.

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hplasm
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Devil

Update breaks Powershell...

At last- an update that does something useful!

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hplasm
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Devil

Where -

Is The Microsoft Broken Icon?

Or perhaps a Curl(!)y Poo, with flies...

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Kindle Paperwhites turn Windows 10 PCs into paperweights: Plugging one in 'triggers a BSOD'

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: It's amazing

There's a reason for this icon, you see... ---->

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hplasm
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Happy

That is what he is complaining about.

Whoosh!

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Microsoft baits new vSphere-to-Hyper-V switch offer

hplasm
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Facepalm

Microsoft Tamagochi Gambit.

No friends? Buy virtual ones...

"Look how popular we are!"

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MySQL daddy Widenius: Open-source religion won't feed MariaDB

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Advert supported

Aiee! Access 10?

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Your wget is broken and should DIE, dev tells Microsoft

hplasm
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Meh

Re: If only ...

"...the expense of creating, testing and debugging their own versions."

Well one out of three is something...

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hplasm
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Happy

Wow, every single sentence in your post is a little gem of stupidity.

Where 'little gem' is an alias for Kohinoor Diamond

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Sex ban IT man loses appeal – but judge labels order 'unpoliceable'

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Why did the medical staff snitch?

"..."may" of..."

Off topic but...

FFS!

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hplasm
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Terminator

I'm the law in this here town, boy.

*spit* ding.

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UK's mass-surveillance draft law grants spies incredible powers for no real reason – review

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Will Godefrey And another thing

"You really think your prattling would be of any interest to anyone? "

Why not? You do.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Poor sods.

" I went to a privileged university with some of Them."

And if someone said to Them that you might be the next Kim Philby...?

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Radio astronomy pioneer dies at 92

hplasm
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Unhappy

Another Bruce (S)lee gone

Another master sadly missed.

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Systemd adds filesystem mount tool

hplasm
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Mushroom

Do one thing, Poettering-

Fuck Off- and do it well.

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Windows 10 Anniversary Update completely borks USB webcams. Yay.

hplasm
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Gimp

Oh and don't tell me I have to get new Apps.

Ok then.

(Apps are for toys.)

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Windows 10 = Windows Vista

Close.

Windows 10 = Windows Vista Plus

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