* Posts by hplasm

5611 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Tory terror changes promise moon on stick

hplasm
Big Brother

Or

this one.

Brit censor stamps on The Human Centipede

hplasm
FAIL

Yeah.

Chained up and wailing.

Prototroll.

hplasm
Big Brother

That-

Is just what *THEY* said...

1000 day wait for Sarah Palin emails nearly over

hplasm
Thumb Up

I do take it-

That by 'bless her', you do mean- 'anoint her , on an altar, with her own blood'?

Anything less would be, em, churlish.

hplasm
WTF?

You missed out-

Bigfoot's Nest

Al-Quaeda's Post Office Box

Hitler's Swiss bank account Number.

-------

Troll or Teat?

Or both?

Two fat atoms get the nod

hplasm
FAIL

Congratulations to the El Reg donkey.

For it's first posting!

Didn't know you had called it Craiggy...

Entire London 2012 Olympics' cultural events database held on Excel

hplasm
Thumb Up

Ha!

You work in my office!

BOFH: Ready for the Judgment Day

hplasm
Go

And yet another

internet fetish is born...

hplasm
Gimp

Is that you again?

Edison??

Microsoft becoming Apple with Windows 8 control freakery?

hplasm
Meh

But choice of what?

Black or white?

Or just a different maker's label?

Skype reverse-engineered and open sourced

hplasm
Linux

Hmm.

Pigeons, meet Cat.

Popcorn please!

NATO members warned over Anonymous threat

hplasm
Happy

LOICF?

Drones are Ion Cannon Fodder

hplasm
Trollface

Haven't you got a launch party

to hold somewhere?

hplasm
Holmes

Taliban

don't do internets.

TPTB need a cyberbogyman.

Oh look- there's one!

Chinese teen flogs kidney to buy iPad

hplasm
Gimp

At least he still has one left.

In case he wants to joint the Scientologists as well.

Barnsley clamps down on foul-mouthed fu*king locals

hplasm
Holmes

Oh Barnsley!!

Perhaps.

Ballmer: Time up for 'stuck in the past' Microsoft CEO?

hplasm
Windows

The dog for CEO!

At least the dog seems to know what it's doing.

Android app sales skimpy, sluggish, slack, scanty...

hplasm
Meh

So what?

iThings are bought by people with more cash than Android things; they spend more money on fart apps.

It's not rocket surgery...

Star Wars fanboys to restore Tatooine Homestead

hplasm
Happy

I'm waiting for-

Pimp my Sandcrawler.

They are still out there waiting to bother future archaeologists aren't they?

Total Recall rehash – exit Martians, enter Jessica Biel

hplasm
Thumb Up

Yes!

It's the best way to keep them sane!

Bloke drives with knees while manipulating two mobes

hplasm
Meh

How about

cruise missile pilot?

Microsoft shareholder calls for Ballmer's head

hplasm
Happy

Make it so-

Number One. (Shareholder)

Billionaire Zuckerberg kills to eat

hplasm
Happy

Or

shoot him.

MS announces Windows Phone 7.1

hplasm
WTF?

Agreed.

It's like a Hollywood UI.

hplasm
Thumb Up

They still use Word

for the graphics then?

Microsoft squeezes out Windows Phone Mango details

hplasm
FAIL

Comming?

I think the word you want regarding WinPho is probably 'Conning'

hplasm
Troll

Not a sheep.

But a

Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

hplasm
Coat

But has Denmark banned

Polarbear liver?

Probably not...

€1bn handout from the EU targets ambient nagware and robot pets

hplasm
Badgers

Listen!

That song- are the whales returning?

Judgment Day prophet resets doomsday clock

hplasm
Happy

Friends in high places...

probably.

Steve Ballmer window-dresses Windows 8

hplasm
Troll

*You* can of course-

Personally vouch for this?

hplasm
Joke

Joke

Has this icon.

prat.

hplasm
Coat

So now Ballmer too

Has Windows H8?

Euro report slates wireless comms, recommends smoke and mirrors

hplasm
FAIL

Wow!

What an enormous pile of shite!

What a Warnke!

Ofcom pricks Shard's 'biggest erection' boast

hplasm
Happy

So Ofcom

are not completely useless, then?

Star probe Kepler finds many multi-world alien suns

hplasm
Alien

Anyone got -

a starseed lure?

Rapture postponed as world inexplicably fails to end

hplasm
Flame

Sounds like my office-

Nothing has changed here...

hellish

Simply viewing Apple kit provokes religious euphoria

hplasm
Thumb Up

Religion was then,

created to fill the hole that was waiting for Apple (pbui) to emerge.

Blighty's first touch-to-pay phone goes on sale today

hplasm
Unhappy

Meh!

Yet another way to part us from our money. Where are the innovative ways of giving US more cash?

Government hires Guardianista as digital chief

hplasm
Coat

Hope he makes a priority-

of a spellchecker...

Microsoft fails to turn punters on to WinPho 7

hplasm
Gates Horns

How did they get the 2CV engine

...into the Boxster shell?

hplasm
Gates Horns

Hahahahaha!

Think Jaws 3. Think U571. Think Plan9 from Outer Space.

Look out for any WinPho 7 updates and plan an exit strategy now.

Or scratch your itchy parts with your WinPho...

PARIS team to tackle the ultimate post-pint snack

hplasm
Coat

Once, in a diner I saw

a Man Eating Chicken!

Gates defends Ballmer's Skype gamble

hplasm
Coat

He is-

The Chairman...

Serial hacker TinKode rifles through NASA satellite files

hplasm
Flame

I assume he'll be in the Dock after McKinnon?

But I won't hold my breath.

Different strokes....

Border Agency monitors migrant ITers with inadequate IT

hplasm
Grenade

Bullsh1t!

It's not about 'skills'- it never is- it's always about CA$H.

CATS to be saved by BLASPHEMERS after the RAPTURE

hplasm
Happy

Hmmm.

That's where the weirdos go when they disappear...

Ofcom: Luvvies, TV signals can share spectrum

hplasm
WTF?

Ofcom- as my old mum might have said-

"Neither use nor bloody ornament."

McKinnon battles renewed Obama-era extradition push

hplasm
Troll

And you are?

Another JudgeJudy and executioner.

Pillock.

Sun attempts to ID entire FA Cup Final crowd

hplasm
Big Brother

Are you new?

El Reg has been saying that about TPTB for ages...