* Posts by hplasm

4654 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Trump's immigration clampdown has Silicon Valley techies fearing for their house prices

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Bah!

"The point is, SA is not a source of Islamic refugees at the moment."

Nor are they a sink for any, either. Funny , that.

Once hell freezes over, I assume they will take some in?

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Chinese pirates are facing lifelong 'social credit' downgrade

hplasm
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Mushroom

USA screwed Dickens.

Only fair to screw the RIAA/MPAA & co.

Payback, bitches!

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UK defence secretary: Russian hacks are destabilising Western democracy

hplasm
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Happy

Which chapter of 1984 is this taken from?

The preface.

The title was wrong, due to an accounting error, is all...

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hplasm
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Devil

This sounds like...

Fake News!!!

(If I understand the concept...)

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Guess who's suffering an email outage. Go on, it's as easy as 123-Reg

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Why would you use email from 123/GoDaddy/HostPapa etc. anyway?

"Because nothing looks naffer than a longnamewithnumbers@gmail.com"

longnamewithnumbers@hotmail says different.

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David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

Nice, yet touchingly imperial!

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Super-cool sysadmin fixes PCs with gravity, or his fists

hplasm
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Alert

Re: Percussive maintenance

Hoover Nextra tuble dryers are like that- if they buzz when the 'go' button is pressed, and don't run, hold the button in and smack the panel on the 'NEXTRA' logo, hard.

It seems that there is a flakey relay behind there, and it is a 'semi-official' fix...

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hplasm
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Angel

I wonder how many times he bounced the heads on the platters?

The heads would *probably* be parked until the disks were spinning...

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'Completely offended' Sheila calls cops over price-gouging ganja dealer

hplasm
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Happy

Obv...

OFFTITS.

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Protest against Trump's US travel ban leaves ‪PasswordsCon‬ in limbo

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Alternatively...

"Unless, of course, that country is some sort of command economy like North Korea where the Dear Leader can order a hotel with conference facilities to be emptied by date X."

So the USA in a year or to is OK then?

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Motivational speaker in the slammer after HPE applies for court order

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Colour me interested...

"So what are Lorraine Thea Thorpes key skills exactly?"

She can make garlands of flowers? (In Thai...)

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Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

hplasm
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Happy

Re Get me high on spice...

Get me high on spice and I will try and escape to another planet, why not...

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IETF 'reviewing' US event plans in the face of Trump's travel ban

hplasm
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Devil

Re: For real sexism, anti intellectualism and racism...

"... it exposes the hypocrisy if those who ..."

Not me, pal- I dislike everyone. I'm not biased.

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Imagine a ChromeOS-style Windows 10 ... oh wait, there it is and it's called Windows Cloud

hplasm
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Facepalm

MS moves beyond Cloud Computing...

Into Cargo Cult Computing. Again.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Late or too late

"Always late to the party."

The most noxious guests usually are...

FTFY

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God save the Queen... from Donald Trump. So say 1 million Britons

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Mickey Mouse

Disney's IP lawyers will have a figure soon.

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President Donald Trump taken on by unlikely foe: Badass park rangers

hplasm
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Coat

"what happened to the President Snowflake title ?"

Melted- AGW

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hplasm
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Joke

Re: Do not...

Star Lord? Is that you?

(Parks & Rec joke...)

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Who the fug does Kieren think he is, trying to apply the 'snowflake' tag to Trump?"

Good point, well made.

It should of course be 'Yellow-snow Flake'.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Less than a week in the position...

"It seems to me that less than a week into his administration the minor acts of resistance have begun already."

Begun, this Twitter War has...

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I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the API key

hplasm
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Meh

IoT or not-

It still uses the same buzzword bollocks.

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Penguins force-fed root: Cruel security flaw found in systemd v228

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: The Inevitable

"STINX - SysTemd Is Not linuX..."

Have an Internet, Sir!

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Make America, wait, what again? US Army may need foreign weapons to keep up

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Military-industrial 101

Those who fail to learn from history tend to sound rather silly when they spout off about it..

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Oracle lied: Database giant is axing hundreds of staff – at least 450 in its hardware div

hplasm
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Coat

Re: And Whither SPARC?

SPARC: Withered

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CIA boss: Make America (a) great (big database of surveillance on citizens, foreigners) again!

hplasm
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Holmes

Alternatively-

Congress needs to pass laws < 140 characters in length. No riders.

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hplasm
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Big Brother

But if I were a lawbreaker...

You will be. You will be...

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All the cool kids are doing it – BT hikes broadband and TV bills

hplasm
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FAIL

Anyone smell burning pants?

" "Customers will get a better package and improved service from us this year in exchange for paying a little more...."

Yeah, right.

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The rise, fall, and rise (again) of Microsoft's killer People feature

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Of course you could just not use it?

Wow, what a massive house you have!

Yeah, but most of the rooms are full of people I don't know and stuff that isn't mine and I don't want, but I can't shift, so I don't use most of it...

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Deadly Tesla smash probe: No recall needed, says Uncle Sam

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Impressed

"I wish all the cell phone drivers had it installed."

I wish all the cell phone drivers had ejector seats installed.

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What's the biggest danger to the power grid? Hackers? Terrorists? Er, squirrels

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Treasonous Squirrels

Er, wouldn't those be Red Squirrels..?

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Square Kilometre Array precursor shrinks 5TB of data to 22MB – every second!

hplasm
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Alien

Re: I invented a program that downloads porn off the internet one million times faster.

" Zoom in to the dark bits in-between and guess what? It's full of stars."

Oh my god! It is...

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Two new Raspberry Pi models emerge steaming from the oven

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Raspberry, Banana, Orange....

Steak and Quince.

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Smart guns are a neat idea on paper. They'll never survive reality

hplasm
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Coat

Re: over engineered

"Very, very difficult to kill lots of *other* people from the other side of a theatre though."

Lincoln Logs?

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Boffins turn timid mice into psycho killers – by firing lasers into brains

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Trump Angle

Trumps brain, you say?

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Now that's a Blue Screen of Death: Windows 10 told me to jump off a cliff

hplasm
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Devil

Re: If you're running Windows 10...

Lost all faith: <to Mouse> "Hello Computer..."

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

Who are you and what have MS done with Hans1?

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Customer: BT admitted it had 'mis-sold' me fibre broadband

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Could just be...

"...another cock up at the cabinet."

They used to be engineers up at the cabinet....

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Top cop: Strap Wi-Fi jammers to teen web crims as punishment

hplasm
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Facepalm

Why would this happen-

-when putting phone jammers inside prisons to stop smuggling etc is seen as 'impractical'?

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NASA plans seven-year trip to Jupiter – can we come with you, please?

hplasm
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Alien

Artifacts Express- opening soon in an orbit near you!

All hail The Tnuctipun!

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Florida Man sues Verizon for $72m – for letting him commit identity theft

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Florida Man, the world's oddest superhero

"My god I should of stopped..." using 'should of...'

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Internet of Sh*t has an early 2017 winner – a 'smart' Wi-Fi hairbrush

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Incredible (Talking Toilet Paper!!)

"No, no more! Please stop at once and set me free from this cursed existence! Let me be free -- from your stinking, smelly shite!"

This was retrieved from a call-centre voice-recorder.

I'll leave it as an exercise for the commentard to decide which one...

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Yorkshire council hit with prolonged web outage

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Tha's not in't cloud lad...

"Ha's thee turned it off an' back on again?"

Ayup! Thee's frum Plusnet support, an' I claim me fiver!

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Government calls for ideas on how to splash £400m on fibre

hplasm
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Holmes

Dear Govt.

Don't give it (back?) to BT.

There's an idea for you.

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Twas the week before Xmas ... not a creature was stirring – except Microsoft admitting its Windows 10 upgrade pop-up went 'too far'

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Apology or not, results are the same

"Leaving these systems out to dry means they'll eventually be a botnet member, get ransomware, get a virus, etc."

You really think Win10's 'stop what you are doing while I roll out some more broken patches' will stop that?

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China gives America its underwater drone back – with a warning

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: "autocorrect confuses Trump so he turned it off."

That is a slip! Ha!

Danm Autocorrect!! (sic, obv)

He's obviously smarter than he would like us to think...

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MPs suggest introducing web blocking to tackle suicide rates in UK

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Have HMG considered the reason-

@Dr Jones - reading not your strong point then?

You mentioned the Tories, not I.

HMG are always the ones in 'charge', regardless of party.

Dr of Divinity, I reckon...

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hplasm
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Holmes

Have HMG considered the reason-

-for all the suicides, and further considered that, if they were not doing such a shit job of running the country, people might find themselves less depressed?

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Elon Musk wants to get into the boring business, literally

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Bridges are cheaper

Put tunnels on the bridges.

Problems solved!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Easy.

Bindun!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061387/

Clever, those Chinese.

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NASA – get this – just launched 8 satellites from a rocket dropped from a plane at 40,000ft

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: hmmmm

Keep spending those tax dollars re-inventing the wheel...

In this case, what goes up, stays up.

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