* Posts by hplasm

5270 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Science says death metal fans delightful and intelligent people, great at dinner parties

hplasm Silver badge

Re: Free Thinkers

Dr Scott!

NASA's crap infosec could be 'significant threat' to space ops

hplasm Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: apparently too small of a budget

(drain the swamp)

aka Trepanning...

Microsoft changes DHCP to 'Dammit! Hacked! Compromised! Pwned!' Big bunch of security fixes land for Windows

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Word

"no, sob, I just cant write it. Not even for fun ..."

You did though. You wrote 'leveraged'... Bad you.

'It's like painting with atoms'... Watch how boffins form armies of simple micron-sized bots from a silicon wafer

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Re: The researchers hope the bots can also be powered by ultrasound or magnetic fields

Also: Uncle Fester gets one step closer.

FTFY

Adi Shamir visa snub: US govt slammed after the S in RSA blocked from his own RSA conf

hplasm Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Politicize all teh thingz!

"But Orange Man Bad, I guess."

hey! can't be wrong all the time, it seems! Well done!

Canada has lunar dreams as Germany worries about what lies beneath

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Canada has to pay for it's military protection

"Russia's not all that far away from Canada, you know."

Washington DC?

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Canada has to pay for it's miliatry protection

They should consider a wall...

Where's the tangerine icon?

hplasm Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Service Calls

On support calls to that company the email signature always included the line "No on-site investigations will be offered for off-planet destinations."

That would put me off applying, right there...

ReactOS 0.4.11 makes great strides towards running Windows apps without the Windows

hplasm Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Window of Opportunity?

"MS Access 2010 on WINE would be good. That will be how I test React OS too."

MS Access !?

Blimey - I didn't have you pegged as a masochist!

Hipster whines at tech mag for using his pic to imply hipsters look the same, discovers pic was of an entirely different hipster

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Re: So...

" "wotcher cock" was a standard east London greeting and in no way vulgar"

And sometimes a warning...

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Re: We have surely reached peak beard.

"u ok hun? xx"

Jawohl!

love, Kaiser W.

If at first you don't succeed, you may be trying to install that Slow Ring Windows 10 build

hplasm Silver badge
Meh

Same turd..

Different bag.

Today's good news is that whoever has to clean up Solar System will have an easy job: Lack of small debris in Kuiper belt

hplasm Silver badge
Holmes

Pluto-

It would clear it's orbit- if there was stuff to clear... so it IS a planet!

yay!

'They took away our Cup-a-Soup!' Share your tales of bleak breakout areas with us

hplasm Silver badge
Meh

Re: Break? out? Room?

Breakout area? Pseudocorporate Bullshit.

If it doesn't have hidden tunnels, pickaxes, fake CVs and ventilation pipes made from coffee tins, it isn't any good for breakouts!

Danger mouse! Potent rodents 'see' infrared after eyeballs injected with nanoparticles

hplasm Silver badge
Terminator

Re: Look dandy except for the injection into the eyes

No, no need for diy...

...you got to get sent to a slam, where they tell you you'll never see daylight again. You dig up a doctor, and you pay him 20 menthol Kools to do a surgical shine job on your eyeballs.

Insane homeowners association tries to fine resident for dick-shaped outline car left in snow

hplasm Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: The land of the free?

"They aren't even a democracy."

Of course not. They are a Proud Republic.

Whoever heard of a Banana Democracy?

Microsoft 'welcomes dialog' over HoloLens use by the military, but doesn't have to listen

hplasm Silver badge
Meh

Blowing up a few commies in AR is a small price to pay...

Most of the USA's enemies are virtual.

hplasm Silver badge
Meh

Re: Lethality

Lethaliferousocity..

Now with added GRR!

Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah?

hplasm Silver badge
Facepalm

AI

Automated Idiocy.

It's the future- today!

Russia: We did not hack the US Democrats. But if we did, we're immune from prosecution... lmao

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Re: Photoshop? C'mon, man, the year is 2018

"The NSA should use its ridiculous computing power to make the deepfake of all deepfakes!"

Some sort of anamatronic orange politician should do...

Hands up who isn't p!*$ed off about Amazon's new HQ in New York and Virginia?

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Re: Crony capitalists* are happy

"*Maybe capitalists is the wrong word, money grubbing bureaucrats?"

Whatever happened to 'Capatalist Running Dogs'?

i quite like that one...

/tiny writing rules...!

Alexa, cough up those always-on Echo audio recordings, says double-murder trial judge

hplasm Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Sounds about right

"What about "undisirregardlessly"? 'Tis a common word, down our way."

But what is its Cromulency Index?

hplasm Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Sounds about right

"The ‘T’ in it is silent, by the way."

Well. You learn somethink every day!

Scumbag who phoned in a Call of Duty 'swatting' that ended in death pleads guilty to dozens of criminal charges

hplasm Silver badge
Coat

Re: banana republic?

It's an Orange Republic now...

hplasm Silver badge
Coat

Re: re: For that I recommend wearing your fucking seatbelt.

"I thought American cars did the seatbelt thing for you?"

For Freedom, you meed to shoot the seatbelt off first (coz knives are bad...)

hplasm Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: You obviously need that gun to compensate for your inferior masculinity.

...length or width?

hplasm Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: The word they're looking for is 'scapegoat'

"Are we feeling a bit inferior because your Goverment[sic], will only let you carrry[sic] an unconcealed Knife to a gunfight?""

a. No- because there isn't a 'gunfight' every 10 minutes here..

B. No, because I'm not a coward that needs to carry a gun to feel safe from THEM (whoever the demons in your head are... and what colo(u)r they are, probably)..

Wheres the dickhead icon?

Another 3D printer? Oh, stop it, you're killing us. Perhaps literally: Fears over ultrafine dust

hplasm Silver badge
Holmes

Re: n before g

But not in Pterry...

'Frontline workers' of the world, unite! And grab yourselves a Surface Go White Van Man edition

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Re: I think...

"Well, the "FREE CANDY" sign painted on the side didn't work..."

ITYM 'Free Candy Crush'

Palliative care for Windows 10 Mobile like a Crimean field hospital, but with even less effort

hplasm Silver badge
Windows

Re: plan of action

Is it time for the 'IT?' Tombstone Icon to be refreshed and have either 'Win X' or Bill's Borg face on it?

That amazing Microsoft software quality, part 97: Windows Phone update kills Outlook, Calendar

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: How long before

The dawn of Biglysoft!

ZX Spectrum reboot scandal firm's original directors rejoin

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Massive-

Popcorn Time.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin...

. < starts cassette ...Bzzzzzzzz!!!ZbbVVTTY!!YzzYYxxgggGGrt!!t!!zzzzzZZxxxXX!!)!!!.. >

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

hplasm Silver badge
Holmes

And how do you KEEP it that way?

"Especially against both clandestine bridging and PHBs who don't know better?"

Weapon Systems.

Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree

hplasm Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: I come to Bury St Edmunds...

----->

nice one!

hplasm Silver badge
Coat

Re: Goodness

"there is a Christmas tree already set up just south of the White House"

With a wiiggy effigy of The Great Trumpkin Pumpkin on top?

hplasm Silver badge
Pint

Christmas Experience for their retail tenants?

Tennants Xmas retail experience?

36 pack with holly on top!

UK rail lines blocked by unexpected Windows dialog box

hplasm Silver badge
Pint

Re: Isambard Kingdom Brunel now rotates in his grave!!

+1 for 'Fad Propellers'!

hplasm Silver badge
Coat

Where's Windows for Warships when you need it?

It fails to Surface...

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Windows

Why Windows in the first place on a system with a narrow functional requirement?

Windows 10 Pro goes Home as Microsoft fires up downgrade server

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Only affects insider program - Not correct

"I am not part of any w10 preview / test circle."

You are in the Windows Circle of Hell...

hplasm Silver badge
Pint

Re: Windows 10 users complaining about update borkage

This is for you! --->

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Just go Linux "Take my Linux ... please!"

"Replacing the OS on a computer they bought as a unit would be like buying a car and replacing the engine with a completely different one."

Replacing Windows on a computer they bought as a unit would be like buying a carriage and replacing the horse in front with an engine.

FTFY

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

They can eat it once it comes out the other end of the dog.

That's when they sell it!

Dell upping its margins again: Precision 5530 laptop will sting you for $13m. Yep, six zeroes

hplasm Silver badge
Happy

Re: And that's ...

Gotta sausage-inna-bun.

It's meatish.

Russia inches closer to launching a crew again while NASA waits for a delivery from Germany

hplasm Silver badge
Thumb Up

Might I just say...

Go Electron!

The nights are drawing in. Pour a cup of cocoa and join us for Windows 10 Autumnwatch

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Autumnwatch might come to an end.

A watched turd never rots...

Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

hplasm Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Examine them

You missed this icon -->

Grumbling about wobbly Windows 10? Microsoft can't hear you over the clanging cash register

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Conditioning.

""The mainstream are using VHS."

aka

"MS are VHS"

Hasn't the world moved onto DVDs?

hplasm Silver badge
Windows

Re: Conditioning.

"So if it did then it is clearly the fault of the manuf or the person installing it."

It's not our fault you chose to install shit software AND let it be made worse.

#BoringDistopia #RedmondLaw

Unsure why you can't log into Office 365? So is Microsoft

hplasm Silver badge
Devil

Re: Incomprehensible complexity

So- don't buy Miscrosoft products, then?

Ok.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019