* Posts by hplasm

4234 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Elon Musk promises Tesla investors Trump won't send him to Mars

hplasm
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Happy

Re: At Tesla forever?

"...they are going to download his consciousness into a Tesla S..."

...and send his ass to Mars.

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Radioactive leak riddle: Now Team America sniffs Europe's skies for iodine isotope source

hplasm
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Re: poor Sweden

"hang on, is this the incident Donaeld was talking about the other day?"

That was Al-IKEA...

(thanks P-Eye)

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Meet the chap open-sourcing US govt code – Paul, an ex-Microsoft anti-piracy engineer

hplasm
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Re: Manure as construction material?

"So some buildings will be a non-steaming pile when completed?"

Excellent- dump a load on the Chernobyl reactor!

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Is your child a hacker? Liverpudlian parents get warning signs checklist

hplasm
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Meh

Re:This isn't a list to describe Facebook users?

No.

That would say:-

Has your child:

A vacuous expression on their face?

Walked into objects, or into the road whilst on their phone?

Ignored people talking to them, rather than txting them?

Become rather stupid?

and so on...

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New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

hplasm
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Happy

Re: No problem

Find a BT homehub equipped house- apparently they are optimised to beam WIFI straight up in the air to waiting helicopters...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

WTF?

How did so many idiots get into positions of power?

The Idiocracy is all that is 'trickle down' it seems...

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US visitors must hand over Twitter, Facebook handles by law – newbie Rep starts ball rolling

hplasm
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Happy

Facebook Handle-

Allah's Snackbar. Best Hummus in the Middle East.

See how far that gets you...

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Global IPv4 address drought: Seriously, we're done now. We're done

hplasm
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Devil

IPV6...

It's the Esperanto of the Interwebs!

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Talk of tech innovation is bullsh*t. Shut up and get the work done – says Linus Torvalds

hplasm
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Re: Never mind the code quality, feel the "innovation."

There 's a FSM in the Kernel.

All hail his noodly appendage, may he bless the sauce code!

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NASA picks three Martian wet patches for 2020 splashdown

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Fast rocket....

If there was a splashdown, then that would indicate water, so the probe wouldn't need to go...

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Totally not-crazy billionaire Elon Musk: All of us – yes, even you – must become cyborgs

hplasm
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Meh

Re: LOL

"...waiting for a computer to perform a successful bicycle kick..."

Why? There are plenty of meat-idiots to kick sportsballs, although AI footballers would be 1000x cheaper and probably more intelligent.

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That guy using a Surface you keep seeing around town could be a spy

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What special build are the spies using?

Linux -Surface Edition.

See- Secure Boot can be bypassed...!

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hplasm
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Big Brother

Like a worm eating its own tail...

Or as in this case, a worm with its head up its own arse.

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Senator wants a piece of Pai: FCC boss blasted for ripping up schools, libraries internet report

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: you must know the drill by now . . .

"The 1% can only buy so much stuff from one another..."

Then, when they have all the money and stuff, they can get the slaves^H^H^H^H^H^H citizens to start on the giant pyramids, in return for food.

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USMC: We want more F-35s per year than you Limeys will get in half a decade

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Nice turn of phrase

Bottom line is we've had a very anaemic ramp

And our carriers do too- and an anaemic catapult.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Irrational

"and much slower"

Only on the straight - lose the F35s in the corners, like Harleys and AUDIs.

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Big blues: IBM's remote-worker crackdown is company-wide, including its engineers

hplasm
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Meh

Re: IBM

IBM- rapidly becoming the Detroit of the Computing Industry.

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That's cute. AI and IoT need 'ethics regulation', mumbles Lib Dem baron

hplasm
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Facepalm

Next debate in HOC-

Care and feeding of Unicorns- they're bound to turn up eventually.

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Revealed: 'Suicide bomber Barbie' and other TSA quack science that cost $1.5 billion

hplasm
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Re:Would it come with a warranty??

Yes- if it's still in once piece, you get your cash back...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Bah!

And we have a winner of the new Banner: subheading contest:-

The Register: Ah, fuck IT.

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Cattle that fail, not pets that purr – the future of servers

hplasm
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Unhappy

Gods!

The future, or at least this version of it, sounds boring.

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More tech companies join anti-Trump battle, but why did some pay for his inauguration?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Breaking

Sir Humphrey- is that you, working in the US now?

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Ex-NSA contractor Harold Martin indicted: He spent 'up to 20 years stealing top-secret files'

hplasm
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Holmes

File size?

“specific methods, capabilities, techniques, processes, and procedures” for defending government computer systems;

I'm guessing- 0 bytes

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Microsoft touts cheap-ish anti-patent troll protection shield for Azure-hosted devs

hplasm
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Devil

Does it come with...

...a long spoon?

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Facebook investors yell at CEO: Get the Zuck out of our boardroom!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Monopolists Rule !

"Alex Bell did not invent telephone, Edison did not invent the electric light and Marconi did not invent radio. Until SCOTUS ruling in 1943, the Wright Brothers did not invent powered flight."

Heavens! FSS is right... it had to happen sometime...

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Australia wants to jail infosec researchers for pointing out dodgy data

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Fine idea - apply to all other research that doesn't meet the politicians' favor

Or- stop collecting data on world+dog...

Problem solved.

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Pulsating white dwarf described as a 'dynamo' found, no, not in the back pages, 380 LY away

hplasm
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Happy

"You wouldn't want that stuck to your fridge..."

Yeah, but how would you stop it?

Oh- here it comes now. Close the fridge!

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Streetmap loses appeal against Google Maps dominance judgement

hplasm
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Meh

The bitter taste-

-of sour grapes. 2/10 try harder next time...

Confucius says: Man who rest on laurels gets twigs up bum.

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Intel's Atom C2000 chips are bricking products – and it's not just Cisco hit

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Inventors

I knew it.

Intel Inside is a warning sticker!

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New SMB bug: How to crash Windows system with a 'link of death'

hplasm
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Windows

Why..?

"Why AC ? With so many miracles you must be a prophet, if you have proof, that is ..."

It's slurprshill-copypasta. What a sad life, being so.

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Trump's immigration clampdown has Silicon Valley techies fearing for their house prices

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Bah!

"The point is, SA is not a source of Islamic refugees at the moment."

Nor are they a sink for any, either. Funny , that.

Once hell freezes over, I assume they will take some in?

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Chinese pirates are facing lifelong 'social credit' downgrade

hplasm
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Mushroom

USA screwed Dickens.

Only fair to screw the RIAA/MPAA & co.

Payback, bitches!

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UK defence secretary: Russian hacks are destabilising Western democracy

hplasm
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Happy

Which chapter of 1984 is this taken from?

The preface.

The title was wrong, due to an accounting error, is all...

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hplasm
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Devil

This sounds like...

Fake News!!!

(If I understand the concept...)

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Guess who's suffering an email outage. Go on, it's as easy as 123-Reg

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Why would you use email from 123/GoDaddy/HostPapa etc. anyway?

"Because nothing looks naffer than a longnamewithnumbers@gmail.com"

longnamewithnumbers@hotmail says different.

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David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

Nice, yet touchingly imperial!

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Super-cool sysadmin fixes PCs with gravity, or his fists

hplasm
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Alert

Re: Percussive maintenance

Hoover Nextra tuble dryers are like that- if they buzz when the 'go' button is pressed, and don't run, hold the button in and smack the panel on the 'NEXTRA' logo, hard.

It seems that there is a flakey relay behind there, and it is a 'semi-official' fix...

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hplasm
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Angel

I wonder how many times he bounced the heads on the platters?

The heads would *probably* be parked until the disks were spinning...

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'Completely offended' Sheila calls cops over price-gouging ganja dealer

hplasm
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Happy

Obv...

OFFTITS.

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Protest against Trump's US travel ban leaves ‪PasswordsCon‬ in limbo

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Alternatively...

"Unless, of course, that country is some sort of command economy like North Korea where the Dear Leader can order a hotel with conference facilities to be emptied by date X."

So the USA in a year or to is OK then?

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Motivational speaker in the slammer after HPE applies for court order

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Colour me interested...

"So what are Lorraine Thea Thorpes key skills exactly?"

She can make garlands of flowers? (In Thai...)

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Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

hplasm
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Happy

Re Get me high on spice...

Get me high on spice and I will try and escape to another planet, why not...

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IETF 'reviewing' US event plans in the face of Trump's travel ban

hplasm
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Devil

Re: For real sexism, anti intellectualism and racism...

"... it exposes the hypocrisy if those who ..."

Not me, pal- I dislike everyone. I'm not biased.

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Imagine a ChromeOS-style Windows 10 ... oh wait, there it is and it's called Windows Cloud

hplasm
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Facepalm

MS moves beyond Cloud Computing...

Into Cargo Cult Computing. Again.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Late or too late

"Always late to the party."

The most noxious guests usually are...

FTFY

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God save the Queen... from Donald Trump. So say 1 million Britons

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Mickey Mouse

Disney's IP lawyers will have a figure soon.

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President Donald Trump taken on by unlikely foe: Badass park rangers

hplasm
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"what happened to the President Snowflake title ?"

Melted- AGW

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hplasm
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Joke

Re: Do not...

Star Lord? Is that you?

(Parks & Rec joke...)

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Who the fug does Kieren think he is, trying to apply the 'snowflake' tag to Trump?"

Good point, well made.

It should of course be 'Yellow-snow Flake'.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Less than a week in the position...

"It seems to me that less than a week into his administration the minor acts of resistance have begun already."

Begun, this Twitter War has...

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