* Posts by Rich 11

2042 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

This is peak AI: Bot to guest edit Radio 4's Today programme

Rich 11
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Re: The marvellous late Humphrey Lyttekton...

Wake me up when IBM get Watson to play Mornington Crescent

They've already got a computer on the show playing Mornington Crescent. It keeps trying to chat up Tim Brooke-Taylor.

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Rich 11
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Re: Baroness Trumpington

Dibble's gone too. Turns out he was dibbling in one too many front gardens.

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Permissionless data slurping: Why Google's latest bombshell matters

Rich 11
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Re: Are we surprised?

Which all goes to show exactly how useless our ubiquitous CCTV is.

No, it goes to show exactly how useless our Plod can be.

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You're such a goober, Uber: UK regulators blast hushed breach

Rich 11
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Re: Make TFL argument even more valid

So its issues are not one-off errors.

I think the Uber experience in several other countries has already made this clear.

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Possible cut to British F-35 order considered before Parliament

Rich 11
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Re: Why cats?

Is that the Fairey Swordfish?

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CEO: 'Claying the ongoing continuous chaos of info into one logical masterpiece'

Rich 11
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Re: don't see the contradiction

I read it as "no qualified human intervention". In other words, yer standard unqualified bloke will be able to cock it up all on his own, as happens sooner or later with most software flexible enough to be able to do anything really useful and original.

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From Vega with love: Pegasus interstellar asteroid's next stop

Rich 11
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Alien

A shot in the dark

when it exits the solar system it will be heading for the Pegasus constellation

If it should hit anyone lets hope they don't think that we sent it.

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UK.gov told to tread carefully with transfer of data sets to NHS Digital

Rich 11
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Not enough function creep

The outlined approach seems quite sensible, but I'm sure they'll find a way to fuck it up in practice.

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How is 55 Cancri e like a Sisters of Mercy gig? Astroboffins: It has atmosphere

Rich 11
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Re: And this is why science is so cool

For almost hairless monkeys, we ain't half bad.

We're maybe only 42% bad on a good day (which happens perhaps three times out of five, excepting Mondays).

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MPs draft bill to close loopholes used by 'sharing economy' employers

Rich 11
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Re: Flexible arrangements should be the exception, not the norm

We've seen it all before - are we really sure we want to get back there?

People like Boris Johnson, Priti Patel, Ian Duncan Smith and John Redwood are on record as saying they want to use Brexit to scrap the social chapter and reduce employee protections, so I think you might be able to guess which century they want us serfs to be living in.

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Arecibo spared the axe: Iconic observatory vital to science lives on

Rich 11
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Re: Welcome to 21st Century USA - How about an unbiased source?

Within the conservative community

...up is down, ignorance is strength, freedom is slavery.

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New UK aircraft carrier to be commissioned on Pearl Harbor anniversary

Rich 11
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lady sponsor

the lady sponsor of nuclear attack submarine HMS Triumph is Lady Hamilton of Epsom

It would have been amusing if they'd asked her to be lady sponsor of HMS Trafalgar instead.

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The Reg parts ways with imagineer and thought pathfinder Steve Bong

Rich 11
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Re: Not sure

Deadly serious.

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Rich 11
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Re: You idiots!

That... May... Be... A very interesting organizational structure of the Human Remains department...

They developed it for the White House originally.

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Rich 11
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Re: Certainty?

The Martians are very skilled at making their actions appear as if the Russians did it

Part of they way they learned to blend in was by distilling vodka from the potatoes which humans left behind on Mars.

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Car tax evasion has soared since paper discs scrapped

Rich 11
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And then in 10-20 years they'll realise coal fired power stations are bad

They're all due to close within five years.

Oh, hang on, I see your point now!

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Anonymized location-tracking data proves anything but: Apps squeal on you like crazy

Rich 11
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Re: But...

We will soon be ruled by incompetant A.I. (if not already)

An incompetent AI could hardly do any worse than the incompetent humans who already rule us.

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Yes, I took Putin's roubles to undermine Western democracy. This is my story

Rich 11
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It's like the conjoined triangles of success.

Weren't they meant to be separated at birth?

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Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Rich 11
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Re: Jesus backwards

Maximus Decimus Meridius

I wouldn't bother trying to think what it might mean in Latin since it's not even a proper Latin name. If people address him as Maximus then that's his cognomen, while Decimus is a common praenomen (there were only a dozen of these known to be in use by Imperial times), leaving Meridius as his nomen (the family's name). So he should have given his name as Decimus Meridius Maximus.

/pedant

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Rich 11
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Re: Offence

Canterbury Cathedral.

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Rich 11
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Re: Spineless of them to give in

Attacking Christianity in Britain is like kicking a child in a wheelchair.

Rubbish. A child in a wheelchair is a human being and has the same value as you and I. Christianity is a religion, a man-made concept which is open to question and criticism however much a number of people might value their belief in some particular one.

Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't want me to take your claim literally? Then try to think of a better simile, one which doesn't confuse the apparent powerlessness of a power structure with sympathy for the plight of a disabled person.

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Donald Trump's tweets: Are they presidential statements or not?

Rich 11
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Re: I prefer a third explanation.

And in the final stages of stupidity.

No, I'm sure he can still demonstrate several further stages of stupidity.

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MPs slam HMRC's 'deeply worrying' lack of post-Brexit customs system

Rich 11
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Re: @AC

What you see as moaning and doom-saying others see as practical problems which desperately need to be solved.

A year ago I wouldn't have said 'desperately'. After watching this debacle unfold it now strikes me as perhaps too mild an adverb.

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Rich 11
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I presume David Davis and his fellows will vanish post-Brexit, following the route pioneered by David Cameron.

If they fuck it all up -- and I think they are -- they're going to need a 24/7 bodyguard service once the full understanding of what they've done sinks in.

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Rich 11
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Re: We're fecked.

B-Day

Is that what we're calling it now? Buggered Day?

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Rich 11
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Re: Gah!

Both sides deserved to lose.

We are all set to lose.

Well, except for the likes of John Redwood, who gets a hundred grand a year for advising wealthy people to move their wealth offshore before Brexit.

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Amazon to make multiple Lord of the Rings prequel TV series

Rich 11
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Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

Plenty of scope for Bomadil stories

They'd make a right song and dance out of it.

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Boffins on alert: Brace yourselves for huge gravitational wave coming within a decade

Rich 11
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The 100% certainty is certainly mathematically uncertain.

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Think the US is alone? 18 countries had their elections hacked last year

Rich 11
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which btw is the doing of the same mostly non-European actors.

Putin must be overjoyed that so many Syrian refugees went north to Turkey rather than south to Jordan. Erdogan's autocratic tendencies were encouraged by domestic turmoil and the understandable response he's received to that from the West is slowly turning him away from NATO and towards Russia, which would be a strategic disaster for NATO

I hate to think what the picture is going to look like in five years' time. The only way I can see of heading it off is a coup against Erdogan.

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Thousand-dollar iPhone X's Face ID wrecked by '$150 3D-printed mask'

Rich 11
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Re: and Added a SILICONE NOSE for realism.

To 24 digits.

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Sean Parker: I helped destroy humanity with Facebook

Rich 11
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Re: vulnerability in human psychology

Dunno about Vincent Price and zombies, but Charlton Heston (and later Will Smith) was the last non-vampire left alive in The Omega Man. Will that do?

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UK Home Sec thinks a Minority Report-style AI will prevent people posting bad things

Rich 11
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Re: Count me unimpressed

It's a small step from "you bought X so you'll like Y" to "you posted X, so you'll post Y next".

If I buy a Motorhead CD it's quite reasonable to think that I might like another Motorhead CD. However it's a very different thing to claim that the next item I buy will be a Motorhead CD. I wouldn't even say it's the most likely thing I would buy next. Now change the arena from purchasing preferences to posting subject/response behaviour, and it's much less likely to be accurate because so much of what I post (like this) depends entirely upon what articles are published and whether or not (let alone when) I notice them.

Screw that precog shit.

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Metal 3D printing at 100 times the speed and a twentieth of the cost

Rich 11
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Re: Possibilities

you could leave out the spine as they don't use it anyway..

No, they still need a spine, but only a very lightweight one just strong enough to support the empty skull.

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BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

Rich 11
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(Psst! You forgot to post anonymously. Now the Internet knows your crime and will applaud or punish you accordingly.)

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Alexa, please cause the cops to raid my home

Rich 11
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The cops would have hung about a bit longer before calling the locksmith.

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Astronomers find bizarre 'zombie supernova' that just won't die

Rich 11
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Re: A type II Khardashev civilisation?

"Er, Dezhk!k!k, I'm sorry but I think I forgot to carry the one."

"I wouldn't worry about it. What difference could it possi..."

*WHUMMF*

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Brit moron tried buying a car bomb on dark web, posted it to his address. Now he's screwed

Rich 11
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Re: Time to start deporting the problem fast before it gets much worse!

We need to take back control of this country and deport all Germans, Normans and assorted Scandinavians (i.e. "the English") back to where they came from (Denmark, Germany and Norway).

That's still not going to solve the problem. All you Cro-Magnons need to get out of this country, and indeed out of Europe, every last one of you. Us Neanderthals were here first.

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Rich 11
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sudden jihadist

The cops explicitly say he was not linked to terrorism.

Big John demonstrates once again that he is incapable of reading simple English without putting it through a very peculiar brain filter.

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Stop worrying and let the machines take our jobs – report

Rich 11
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Re: No chance I'll be replaced

A perpetual immotion machine?

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Better filters won't cure this: YouTube's kids nightmare

Rich 11
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Never watched Tom and Jerry or the Roadrunner as a kid?...

You've missed the point. And 'Tom and Jerry' won seven Oscars.

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Where hackers haven't directly influenced polls, they've undermined our faith in democracy

Rich 11
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Those figures are barely relevant. It's the percentages of politically-related posts and tweets which matter more.

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Rich 11
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Re: Georgia

Gerrymandering and voter suppression can't have been enough for them.

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Rich 11
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Re: Democracy

The most efficient system would be a benevolent dictator.

Unfortunately that system, to be most efficient, also requires a compliant citizenry to be in complete agreement with the thoughts and intentions of the benevolent dictator.

Welcome to the Borg Collective.

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Transparent algorithms? Here's why that's a bad idea, Google tells MPs

Rich 11
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Re: Black box

Google's argument is overtly dishonest & misleading.

Well of course it is. It would have been written by their lawyers.

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Imagine the candles on its birthday cake: Astro-eggheads detect galaxy born in universe's first billion years

Rich 11
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Re: Confused

Can someone clever explain what's going on here?

Maybe Dr Min Yun was just talking about galaxies that had been found with the LMT.

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Rich 11
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Re: Where are they moving to?

It gives me such a headache to try to understand it.

I'm afraid it's bound to give you a very big headache if you start off by thinking that we're outside the universe.

Best to start off with the basics.

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Londoners: Ready to swap your GP for an NHS vid doc app?

Rich 11
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Re: Mother in Law

She gets better?

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Guy Glitchy: Villagers torch Openreach effigy

Rich 11
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Alternative words

but we're working hard to find alternative ways of bringing faster broadband to residents.

What, like transferring the packets by passenger pigeon?

Whenever I hear anyone employ the phrase 'we're working hard to' I automatically substitute it with 'we might eventually get round to'. You'd think that spokespeople would have learnt to avoid clichés, realising how empty they can make their statements sound.

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Those IT gadget freebies you picked up this year? They make AWFUL Christmas presents

Rich 11
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Re: Cheap-ass freebies.

Archaeologist #1: "What on earth could these silver things have been used for? I can't see a practical use, though they're quite decorative."

Archaeologist #2: "Nope, I can't think of anything practical either. But they were carefully buried, so they must have had considerable importance to the owner."

Both archaeologists look at each other as understanding dawns. "RITUAL PURPOSES!"

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Donald, YOU'RE FIRED: Rogue Twitter worker quits, deletes President Trump's account

Rich 11
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Obviously...

...one of the long-suffering reality-based people in the West Wing guessed that the president's Twitter password was 'djt' and used it to close the account. When Trump couldn't log in for his regular nvarchar(140) brain dump, he asked for a password reset, reactivated his account and set his new password to

[Answers on a postcard]

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