* Posts by Kane

605 posts • joined 17 May 2007

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Snopes.com asks for bailout amid dispute over who runs the site and collects ad dollars

Kane
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Go

@GrumpenKraut

"The watchmenwatchmen."

The WatchwatchmenMen?

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Kane
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"The Guarding Dark"

Imagine how strong I must be.

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Fan of FBI cosplay? Enjoy freaking out your neighbors? Have we got the eBay auction for you

Kane
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Childcatcher

Re: 4chan party van

"Needs a bear suit to go with it."

Why don't you have a seat over there?

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Russia, China vow to kill off VPNs, Tor browser

Kane
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Big Brother

Re: The cause of the next world war

"Things are too comfy in the west, even for the very poor. Beer, ciggies, ready meals and Match of the Day, and we are happy."

Bread & Circuses.

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Conservative manifesto disappears offline – then mysteriously reappears

Kane
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Joke

Re: Hanlon's razor

Surely with such a change to the phrase, it should be updated to Leg's Razor?

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A private equity titan has just forked out £700m for IT training biz QA

Kane
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I hope the coffee gets upgraded in all their centres!

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2 kool 4 komputing: Teens' interest in GCSE course totally bombs

Kane
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"computer jobs are outsourced at the drop of a cost analysis presentation"

Like it, gonna try and use that in a meeting later on.

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NSA had NFI about opsec: 2016 audit found laughably bad security

Kane
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Black Helicopters

Hmmm

Something about this smells...off. If the report had been written by an independent third party (highly unlikely), I might have bought into it. If you (the gubmint) were forced into writing a report about NSA's opsec, wouldn't you throw in some misinformation to make it a) look like you're incapable of locking down your own systems securely and b) provide an opportunity for would-be foreign actors/"rogue" contractors to attempt to access those systems? You would then be able to build a "profile" of possible attack vectors.

Yes, I know Snowden mentioned before that he was not alone in having escalated privileges in being able to access the information that he did, and that this seemed to be the norm for the sub-contractors that worked for the NSA. Or it was the norm for the NSA to have the type of documentation that was leaked, stored in systems that could be accessed so easily. But still, something doesn't sit right, and I find it hard to believe that adequately securing their own systems was entirely outside their area of competence.

After all, if you were running a super-duper-secret spy agency, wouldn't you want to spread as much misinformation as possible? Even if it was through legitimate channels, like the Department of Defense?

I know I would.

Alternatively, (and the slightly less suspicious bastard/paranoid idea) it could simply have been an appeasement report for the superiors that have been shouting behind the scenes about "how could this happen", and never got released due to the incoming change of government at the time. Only due to the FOI request does it come into the light.

But I prefer my paranoid version.

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Scottish govt mulled scrapping £178m car-crash IT system

Kane
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So...

...IT outsourcer writes damning report about another IT outsourcer?

News at 11.

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Fancy buying our aircraft carrier satnav, Raytheon asks UK

Kane
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Joke

Encryption

"In essence the main difference is that the JPALS signal is encrypted, unlike TACAN."

Ahh, well there's your problem right there, sonny Jim, we won't be having your encrypted nonsense over here! We're dead set against that sort of thing, aren't we lads!

Lads?

Lads??

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WikiLeaks emits CIA's Wi-Fi pwnage tool docs

Kane
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Joke

"Are there any people in the NSA who've had the epiphany "Wait, are we the bad guys?!?" yet?"

Obligatory Mitchell & Webb sketch.

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Voyager 1 passes another milestone: It's now 138AU from home

Kane
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Alien

Re: What's that work out to?

Putty. Putty. Putty.

Green Putty - Grutty Peen.

Grarmpitutty - Morning!

Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!

Discovery..... Oh.

Putty?..... Armpit?

Armpit..... Putty.

Not even a particularly

Nice shade of green.

As I lick my armpit and shall agree,

That this putty is very well green.

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Kane
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Facepalm

Re: What's that work out to?

Who the hell downvotes an entirely relevant Douglas Adams quote?

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Kane
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Boffin

Re: Wonder When

"Wonder when Kirk bumps into it....."

"in 2273 according to Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_Star_Trek"

Pedant Alert!

<cough>

That'll be Voyager 6.

</cough>

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Oh snap! Election's made Brexit uncertainty worse for biz, says BT CEO

Kane
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Coat

Re: Stability, certainty?

"4) preferably buy next Wednesday."

I'll give you a fiver for it, but that's as high as I can go.

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Hundreds stranded at Manchester Airport due to IT 'glitch'

Kane
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WTF?

Check-in System?

"— Jenn (@jennyfarfar) June 13, 2017

Still not taken off been on the plane over an hour now with everyone on board ridiculous"

If there is an issue with the check-in system, why are people already checked in being held up on the tarmac?

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Senator blows a fuse as US spies continue lying over spying program

Kane
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Re: TL:DR Stooge of US Intelligence community tells Congress to go f**k themselves

"How do you construct a DB that allows you to pull details of US citizens without being able to provide any kind of count of how many records are of US citizens"

Warning, Pseudo code coming up....

SUM(COUNTIF(Nationality=USA),RAND()*321,000,000)

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Kane
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Flame

B'Stards

"One Congressman even proposed that Section 702 be reauthorized without a sunset clause – meaning that it would not need to go through another round of Congressional hearings several years in the future."

Either he's

a) in the intelligence community's back pockets,

b) got something to hide (see option a, above)

c) can't be bothered with all these committee hearings, I'm getting too old for this, can't be having with this at my time of life, or

d) all of the above.

"The intelligence chiefs liked that idea.."

I just bet they fucking did, the self serving, control freak data fetishist, piles of excreta.

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What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

Kane
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Re: new shit has come to light

"ooh "my vote will be recorded , and totals updated shortly" that's new!"

I know, I upvoted you just so I could see it again!

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Hyperloop One teases idea of 50-minute London-Edinburgh ride

Kane
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Joke

Re: UK Fault lines

"Dammit! I've got a fault running more or less under the house!"

How's your house insurance premiums going?

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Kane
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Boffin

UK Fault Lines

Here would be a good place to start.

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Break crypto to monitor jihadis in real time? Don't be ridiculous, say experts

Kane
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Re: "The former policy wonk -

Give it time, it'll grow again.

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Meteor swarm spawns new and dangerous branch

Kane
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Re: Tunguska

"Oh - and Ed., isn't describing this 30,000 year old cometary breakup as 'new' a bit odd?"

Cosmologically speaking, that's a wee babby. That's not to say that new things aren't happening all the time in the 'verse, but on comparative scales, it's quite recent.

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Obama's intel chief says Russia totally tried to swing it for Trump

Kane
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Re: This is getting a bit tiresome

'Why doesn't El Reg open a sidebar on "sponsored news about Russia".'

Aye, it could be called RotR (Rise of the Russians) or some-such.

I, for one, welcome our new etc, etc, etc....

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The open source community is nasty and that's just the docs

Kane
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Facepalm

Re: Humans aren't all sweetness & light!

"Humans aren't all sweetness & light!

Film at 11!"

Agreed. Open Source Community =/= Fluffy Bunnies and Kittens

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IBM: ALL travel must be approved now, and shut up about the copter

Kane
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Tesco Coagulante...

Upvote, just for that.

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Boffins spot 'faceless fish' in strange alien environment

Kane
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The Deep Ones...

"The Register imagines Deep Ones were not disturbed, or Xinhua would be reporting a rather different end to the dive."

I think they wouldn't be reporting anything, tbh.

All Hail Father Dagon! All Hail Mother Hydra! All Hail Cthulhu!

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Sainsbury's IT glitch spoils bank holiday food orders

Kane
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Trollface

Re: First world problems

"Sorry, but it's 2017..."

TL;DR

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TRUMP SCANDAL! No, not that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one.

Kane
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Black Helicopters

Re: Casus belli

"Well now the CIA and FBI have a legitimate reason to rummage around in the Trump organization systems"

Why would they need a legitimate reason? Why would they need any reason at all? I would have thought it would have been a matter of course.

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Astroboffins spot a new type of galaxy bursting with stars

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Query....

"Quasars are also used to refer to the entire galaxy, hence quasars may contain quasars where "quasar" should not be confused with "quasar." ;)"

Right. Well then. That clears that up!

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Kane
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Alien

"Could this actually be dark matter becoming un-dark matter?"

Light dark matter?

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Kane
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Query....

Quote form article:

"Quasars are highly energetic and bright. It is widely believed that their energy comes from supermassive black holes located in the middle of nearby galaxies, pulling in surrounding material."

I thought that quasars themselves contained the supermassive blackholes; the above quote makes it sound like the energy source is located externally to the quasar?

From wikipedia1:

"A quasar consists of a supermassive black hole surrounded by an orbiting accretion disk of gas. As gas in the accretion disk falls toward the black hole, energy is released in the form of electromagnetic radiation."

Am I wrong in my understanding?

1I know, I know, not always reliable, etc, etc....

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Sysadmin finds insecure printer, remotely prints 'Fix Me!' notice

Kane
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Re: Start in a subtle way

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start.

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Walkers' Crisps pulls backfiring Tweet campaign that paired Gary Lineker and a bunch of nasties

Kane
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Alien

Re: Fucky McFuckface

"How do you think they got here in the first place?"

"Well alright mister wise guy, if you're so clever you tell us what colour it should be!"

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Kane
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Facepalm

"Wait, are they trying to play the "not our fault, we gots h4xx0red" card here? Seriously?"

Exactly what I thought, considering that the video clips would have to be generated outside of Twatter© before being uploaded to the account.

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Capita payments service Pay360 goes TITSUP

Kane
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"I work in a Capita owned business and our office365 emails have also been down since yesterday afternoon. Somthing about a power issue in a data center."

Needs more Hamsters!

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Bankrupt school ITT pleads 'don't let Microsoft wipe our cloud data!'

Kane
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Re: Price googing?

"These cloudy stuff begins to look pretty expensive lucrative."

There, FTFY. You're welcome.

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Bye bye MP3: You sucked the life out of music. But vinyl is just as warped

Kane
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Alien

Re: MP3

"I'm so hip I can't even see over my own pelvis!" - Zaphod Beeblebrox

"Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off" - Zaphod Beeblebrox

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Kane
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Facepalm

Re: Listening to Vinyl is a bit like eating at a posh restaurant

"You can even physically see how the music is happening."

Errr....what? Are holographic likenesses of the members of my favourite band being projected from the vinyl?

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Kane
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Re: MP3

"This being hip thing is so confusing, I'm going back to playing sheet music on my chamber organ."

Obligatory Pratchett Quote™:

"In fact the kind of music he really liked was the kind that never got played. It ruined music, in his opinion, to torment it by involving it on dried skins, bits of dead cat and lumps of metal hammered into wires and tubes. It ought to stay written down, on the page, in rows of little dots and crotchets, all neatly caught between lines. Only there was it pure. It was when people started doing things with it that the rot set in. Much better to sit quietly in a room and read the sheets, with nothing between yourself and the mind of the composer but a scribble of ink. Having it played by sweaty fat men and people with hair in their ears and spit dribbling out of the end of their oboe...well, the idea made him shudder. Although not much, because he never did anything to extremes."

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Faking incontinence and other ways to scare off tech support scammers

Kane
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Re: Quick solution

"While playing elaborate pranks on the scammers may be fun, you are wasting your own time as well as theirs"

Yars, but any time that is spent (not wasted) keeping them busy, means they are not scamming anyone else.

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Bloke charged under UK terror law for refusing to cough up passwords

Kane
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Black Helicopters

Re: Location, Location, Location

"They just want to see that you can unlock the device. Actually searching it is something that will take hours if not days."

Yeah....Nah.

Quote from the article in question: "After he unlocked his iPhone SE, agents took it out of sight for five to 10 minutes before giving it back and sending him on his way."

It's likely that once unlocked, the content of the phone was effectively cloned. So I suppose, yeah, searching the contents of the phone would take hours, if not days, but in that brief window they can take everything.

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Try not to scream: Ads are coming to Amazon's Alexa – and VR goggles

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Optional @ soaklord

I'm sorry dude, I understood every single individual word in your comment, but I still don't know what you said.

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Kane
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Devil

Re: The late great...

How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?

“What didya do today, honey?”

“Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight. Yeah we just said, you know, is your baby really too loud? You know? Yeah, you know the mums will love it.”

Sleep like fucking children, don’t ya. This is your world, isn’t it?

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FCC blames DDoS for weekend web lockout

Kane
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Happy

Re: Obvious ploy

"all packets must be treated equally"

But some packets must be treated more equally than others.

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TalkTalk HackHack DuoDuo PleadPlead GuiltyGuiltyGuiltyGuilty

Kane
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Angel

Re: admitted stealing

"Next discussion: how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"

____________________________________________________________

'Mistress Weatherwax, you are a natural disputant.'

'No, I ain't!'

'You'd certainly enjoy yourself at the Synod, anyway. They've been known to argue for days about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.'

He could almost feel Granny's mind working. At last she said, 'What size pin?'

'I don't know that, I'm afraid.'

'Well, if it's a ordinary household pin, then there'll be sixteen.'

'Sixteen angels?'

'That's right.'

'Why?'

'I don't know. Perhaps they like dancing.'

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Uber sued by ex-Lyft driver tormented by app maker's 'Hell' spyware

Kane
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Alert

"Bwahahaha... The only injunction to stop Uberian Californication is 10Mt into the San Andreas fault. Nothing short of that."

Arizona Bay.

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Half-baked security: Hackers can hijack your smart Aga oven 'with a text message'

Kane
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Re: Incredibly inefficient - not

"We once left a roast lamb dinner it it when we went to a beer festival. We were 3 hours late home and the lamb was delicious."

Is that because of the beer, or the Aga?

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Google fumes after US Dept of Labor accuses ad giant of lowballing pay for women

Kane
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Joke

"In some countries making false accusations can drag you in front of a court. What about the US?"

Well, funnily enough she was already in court when she made the accusation. Time saving all round then!

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Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

Kane
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Coat

Re: Invisible "friends"

"If one person believes it, they are declared insane, but if thousands believe it, it's a religion..."

Only for tax purposes.

Mines the one with "Xenu Is My Co-Pilot" embroidered on the back....

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