* Posts by Kane

674 posts • joined 17 May 2007

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New Google bias lawsuit claims company fired chap who opposed discrimination

Kane
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"Unfortunately that's become impossible, companies like Google are under huge pressure from applying huge pressure as a lobby groups and the media and so force those politics onto their workforce."

There, fixed that for you.

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The e-waste warrior, 28,000 copied Windows restore discs, and a fight to stay out of jail

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Oh, come on

"Lawyers happened. Instead of arguing over what the framework of the law contains, they'd rather argue over what colour the framework is."

Alright, Mr. Wiseguy, if you're so clever, you tell us what colour it should be!

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Oi! Verizon leaked my fiancée's nude pix to her ex-coworker, says bloke

Kane
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Joke

"Pussy pic ? Why ? Are you a dog ?"

I take it you're not an admirer of the female genitalia then? Friday nights must be fun with you...

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Iran: We have defeated evil nuclear-sensing Western lizards!

Kane
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Coat

Re: Watch out, El Reg!

"What would be the benefit of watching a vulture eat the insides of a dead camel?"

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!

Mine's the one made from Tauntaun skin.

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UK Home Sec Amber Rudd unveils extremism blocking tool

Kane
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Alien

"You can see it happening already - it's blocked some of your vowels, replacing them with stars"

My god, it's full of stars!

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Kane
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Re: 99.995% is impossible

"If they did it the way you say their reputation would be in tatters by the end of the day, I doubt they're that stupid."

Weellll....it is only lunchtime, we've still got some time to play with until the end of the day.

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Women beat men to jobs due to guys' bad social skills. Whoa – you mad, fellas? Maybe these eggheads have a point...

Kane
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Joke

Ahem...

"This has, in turn, increased opportunities for women in these plum positions because, we're told, they are better are communicating, working together, and so on."

Point proven, I would have thought?

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NASA's zombie IMAGE satellite is powered up and working quite nicely

Kane
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Re: ???

"Satellite phone...."

Well done.

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Epic spacewalk, epic FAIL: Cosmonauts point new antenna in the wrong direction

Kane
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Joke

"It's great to see taxpayers' mony money being spent wisely."

Ahh, you mean like education and literacy and spelling and stuff?

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Terror law expert to UK.gov: Why backdoors when there's so much other data to slurp?

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Location Data from the networks

"That won't help either. If I were to decide to commit a crime, as a person with clue I would leave my mobile at home and 'borrow' yours"

Why bother even taking a mobile phone?

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If you've ever wondered whether the FCC boss is a Big Cable stooge – well, wonder no more

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Pardon?

"Are we done with the two minute hate yet?"

Oh, I don't know, I think we can make it stretch a bit more than 2 minutes!

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Perv raided college girls' online accounts for nude snaps – by cracking their security questions

Kane
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Thumb Up

Re: Everytime I see "Mother's maiden name" on the list of security question...

"I get all twitchy like Inspector Dreyfus's left eye."

Everyday in every way I am getting better and better!

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Job ad for designer proves its point with MS Paint shocker

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Whoosh...

"I hear left handed screwdrivers are perfect for doing that."

Add in a tin of elbow grease, should be right-as-rain!

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Take a former NSA head hacker, a Raspberry Pi, weird Kiwi radios and what do you get?

Kane
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How many Routemaster bus seats would it take to fill Wembley Stadium?

Kane
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Go

I've got to say...

...there is a lot of knowledge in these comments about buses.

Carry on. Continue.

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Software that predicts whether crims will break the law again is no better than you or me

Kane
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Joke

Re: The eyes have it

"Eyes too close together,weasely expression? Guilty!"

Yes, but unfortunately you were not there to determine the guilt of the lawyer!

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Hey. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. Get in here... so we can shake your hands – US Senate cyber-terror panel

Kane
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Boffin

Thinking. It's a thing.

"Terrorism and Social Media WHSmiths: #IsBigLowTechDoingEnough?"

  • Remove the sale of maps from stores. Terrorists can use them to find their next target.
  • Remove the sale of pens/pencils from stores. Terrorists can use them to mark on the maps directions to their next target.
  • Remove the sale of blank paper from stores. Terrorists can use it to write propaganda on it that can be disseminated via vocalised projection.

Until the source of why individuals feel the need to take up arms against their fellow human beings is addressed, not the tools that are available to enable them to do so, we will always have this problem. The technology (or lack thereof), and it's supporters/enablers are not the key issue here. The issue here is the way people think.

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Kane
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Re: Fundamental Immaturity

Napkins are what posh people wear at the table to catch errant food.

Speak for yourself, I personally have a gold-plated bib for that job.

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UK taxman has domain typo-squatter stripped of HMRC web addresses

Kane
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Joke

"Fork Handles to you sir!"

Bill hooks!

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Kane
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Joke

Re: Trademark letters?

"BaBCocks.co.uk - nope, contains BBC"

Big Black Cocks?

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Childcare is a pain in the bum and so is HMRC's buggy subsidies site

Kane
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Trollface

Re: Where there's a blame there's a claim

"Blame you say? Yes, I blame the parents. Pay your own childcare costs and stop being a burden on the taxpayer."

Is that you, Big John?

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Kane
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Re: First hand experience...

Upvote for galloping cockwombles.

So good, I had to add it to the browser dictionary.

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UK.gov denies data processing framework is 'sinister' – but admits ICO has concerns

Kane
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"Elsewhere in the debate, Ashton announced that the ICO would have pay flexibility – meaning it is not bound by strict civil service pay rules – up to 2020-21."

Sounds like a sop to keep the unruly civil servants quiet.

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Junk food meets junk money: KFC starts selling Bitcoin Bucket

Kane
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Re: In 100 minutes ...

"... one can fry their own. Easily. And a hell of a lot cheaper. Probably healthier. And still have time to do the clean-up."

Whilst I agree with you, and also as someone who makes their own fried chicken, the point is it's not me doing it. This is the price we pay for convenience.

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Why did top Home Office civil servant lobby Ofcom for obscure kit ban?

Kane
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Childcatcher

"It would be amusing to release recordings and the emails."

Go on El Reg, you know you want to!

Won't someone think of the journalistic integrity?

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Kane
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Black Helicopters

Re: What?

"So it's surveillance based?"

One would assume so, given the interest of the HO. Likely scenario being that the Home Sec knew Rutnam's history with Ofcom and encouraged him to try and sway influence with his old schoolboy chums, so that they could bypass the usual process/protocols in trying to curb the use of COMUGs.

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Q: How do you get YouTube to stop funneling ads to your vids? A: Make jokes next to a dead body

Kane
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Re: I don't get it

"I have a gun in the closet specifically in case I either go blind or get Alzheimer's."

What, you mean that degenerative condition that contributes to memory loss? How would you remember where you put the gun? Or that you even owned one?

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Funnily enough, small-town broadband cheaper than big cable packages, say Harvard eggheads

Kane
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"I guess none of the studied cities ever use city trucks for their broadband services."

I may be showing my ignorance here about how broadband services work in the US, but what do trucks have to do with anything? Are you talking about repair/maintenance vehicles? Ultimately, what does that have to do with the price of municipal broadband?

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Ecuador tried to make Julian Assange a diplomat

Kane
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Thumb Up

"A diplomatic courier must never be arrested or detained."

Diplomatic Immunity!

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Boffins closer to solving what causes weird radio bursts from space

Kane
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Alien

Re: Alien? Unlikely

"Whatever is producing them appears to be of such intensity that any lifeform within light years of the source would be destroyed, so I can't see that they would be deliberately instigated."

Well, if you had the ability to produce FRB's, would you be anywhere near the source?

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MPs sceptical of plan for IT to save the day after UK quits customs union

Kane
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Joke

Re: Like Laurel & Hardy

"Oink, oink, flap, flap."

I see the price of bacon has gone up again.

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Meet R2-DILDO: 'Star Wars' sex toys? This is where the fun begins

Kane
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Joke

Re: Calls in to question all sorts of quotes from the films, doesn't it?

"Sad, to think the perfect character has been left out. Given the ears he's basically perfect as a stand-in for a jack rabbit vibe."

Whilst I agree with you, I have downvoted you, because you brought that fucking travesty of a character into an entertaining star wars discussion. How many years have we spent trying to ignore him?

Plus, I will never be able to look at my wife's sex toys again without thinking about him. That's going to put a crimp on my Xmas break.

Bastard.

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At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

Kane
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Thumb Up

Re: Goose - Yorkshire - yes, yes, yes

"Christmas dinner without yorkshire would be like christmas dinner without sprouts."

Preferable?

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Investigatory Powers Act: You're not being paranoid. UK.gov really is watching you

Kane
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Re: Yawn

"It is getting increasingly hard to tell if you are a troll or just a wanker."

The two are not mutually exclusive.

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As the singularity approaches, neural network pens black metal album

Kane
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Joke

"WTF is math metal?"

Here, let me google that for you!

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iPhone X Face ID fooled again by 'evil twin' mask

Kane
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Joke

"Neither can poor memory..."

You seem to have forgotten that you have posted this comment already.

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Intel finds critical holes in secret Management Engine hidden in tons of desktop, server chipsets

Kane
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Trollface

Re: Another failure from crApple

"One wonders why they bother."

Back! Back, I say! Back under your bridge!!

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US govt to use software to finger immigrants as potential crims? That's really dumb – boffins

Kane
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Joke

Re: I've already seen this movie ...

"Illegal alien!"

My name is Vasquez - where do I sign up?

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Brit moron tried buying a car bomb on dark web, posted it to his address. Now he's screwed

Kane
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Re: Judging a book by it's cover

"...because if you were to open up any of us humans, be it with a machete, an IED or on the surgeons table, you will find that we are ALL exactly the same colour on the inside."

Reminds me of a Clive Barker quote: "Every body is a book of blood; Wherever we're opened, we're red."

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Irish priests told to stop bashing bishops

Kane
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Re: no helpline required

"Many cults/churches/religions/faiths (delete as applicable) rely on "sending thoughts and prayers" and if these aren't working then where, or when, will it all end?"

Don't you mean "Send me your cheques and pay packets"?

"Please note: the only acceptable responses to this post are "Amen" and a repost or link."

Whooops! Amen!

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UK.gov: Use police body cams to grill suspects at scene of crime

Kane
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Joke

Re: Filmed on site?

"They are going to streamline and modernise that system too. Each police car will carry a stepladder so that the fall can be conducted on the front line."

Obligatory Discworld Quote:

"Of course, you'd have nothing to fear from us," said Vimes. "Although you might trip on your way down the stairs to the cells."

"There's no stairs down to your cells!"

"Stairs can be arranged."

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Pterry icon, El Reg?

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What's HPE Next? Now it's unemployment for 'thousands' of staff

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Clinging to share in a shrinking no-margin market

"Doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out what will happen here."

Nor a brain scientist.

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Ex-TalkTalk chief grilled by MPs on suitability to chair NHS Improvement

Kane
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Re: All aboard the gravy train…

"Hm, not long till Bonfire Night: Penny for the GuyDido?"

GuyDo?

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Kane
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Go

Re: All aboard the gravy train…

"I may understand the sentiment, but I think it is a bit much talking about burning an effagy of someone for incompetance."

Then you have not been to one of the excellent displays in Edenbridge, Kent (scroll down to the bottom of the page for "Trump") where they, quite famously, burn/explode/destroy an effigy of someone for incompetance - usually of quite a large nature (both the incompetance and the effigy).

Wonderful stuff!

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Forget the 'simulated universe', say boffins, no simulator could hit the required scale

Kane
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Boffin

Re: What if it isn't a simulation but reality?

"It would basically refer to the fact that we're not inside a simulation but that our universe is part of something much bigger, something not easily comprehensible."

Obligatory Discworld quote:

OH, I'VE SEEN THE INFINITE, IT'S...NOTHING SPECIAL.

"Don't be daft, you can't see the infinite, it's...infinite!"

I HAVE.

"Alright then, what did it look like?"

IT's BLUE.

"It's black".

IT's BLUE

"It's black".

FROM THE OUTSIDE, IT'S BLUE, BELIEVE ME.

- Soul Music (Animated)

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We gonna get our Pterry icon, or what El Reg?

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Hubble spies most distant comet zipping through Solar System

Kane
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Alien
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Byte Night: Bed down with tech chiefs, celebs ... or stay on your sofa

Kane
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"anyone who’s been on a Morecombe and Wise Christmas Special is A list in our book."

Does that make Morecombe and Wise A list then?

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NatWest customer services: We're aware of security glitch

Kane
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Mushroom

Re: Had simi9lar issues

"You may need a new keyboard judging by your"

By your what? BY YOUR WHAT??!?

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Welcome to the future: Bluetooth jackets you can only wash 10 times. Gee, thanks, Google

Kane
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Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

"So this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3 we'll all be clamouring over and queuing overnight to spend a months wages on in 5-10 years time probably won't be."

Nope.

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Australia commits to establish space agency with no budget, plan, name, deadline …

Kane
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Boffin

Re: How difficult can this be?

"It ain't rocket science, folks!"

That's right, it's only brain surgery.

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