* Posts by LesB

86 posts • joined 6 Jul 2009

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Dell BIOS update borks PCs

LesB

Making Flippy Floppy

Been a while since I've seen a BIOS update on a floppy. Or a BIOS update that would fit on a floppy, come to think of it. Or a floppy[1], for that matter.

[1] Which is absolutely not a cross reference to any railway-related topics on El Reg today

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Train station's giant screens showed web smut at peak hour

LesB
Meh

Station stops and other such things

And have you noticed that the thing you're sitting[1] in isn't a train any more, it's a "service". As in the next station stop for this service is Lesser Picklington[2]...

It all started getting silly when they started calling us "customers" rather than "passengers". At least the latter implied some suggestion that the ride they were taking you for was a literal rather than metaphorical one.

[1] Or standing, depending on the time and location

[2] Or wherever

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User loses half of a CD-ROM in his boss's PC

LesB

Multiple disks

We had some PCs a while back with slimline optical drives. Due to some oddity of the design, it was possible for a suitably skilled user to insert the disk in such a way that it disappeared into the PC case. Some users were particularly good at this. Not that they mentioned it when the first or second disk vanished, of course...

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LesB

Re: Paper yes...

Ooooh - reused paper!!!

We had an accountant (well, of course) who liked to use the other side of previously printed on paper in his departmental DeskJet. It was all fun and games until he fed it a stack of pages that were stapled together. That took a bit of disentangling...

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LesB

Re: Paper yes...

*Shudder*

Once had a user who'd run out of the special (and expensive) laser printer acetates and decided to use some designed more for writing on with pens. One destroyed cartridge.

Then there were the (several) users who (several times) decided that putting partly-used sheets of labels back through the printer was a good idea, even after they destroyed the drum the previous time and had been told not to do it (again).

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What augmented reality was created for: An ugly drink with a balloon

LesB
Thumb Up

Is that Leisure Suit Larry in the header pic?

Ahhhh, nostalgia!

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Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

LesB
Childcatcher

There are worse things

Many years ago, I recall "New Scientist" commenting on a report in a medical publication on the eye-watering subject of gentlemen's injuries caused by hand-held vacuum cleaners[1].

It seems there were a number of cases of chaps getting their, err, chaps into these devices, either "accidentally[2]" or for their own reasons. Apparently believing this would be quite safe, the unfortunate visitors to A&E had interactions with the internal fans.[3]

Just thought I'd share....

[1] The name "Hoover Dustette" sticks in my addled memory for some reason

[2] "It turned itself on" (editorial response: and him to, presumably)

[3] I recall a comment along the lines of "driven to new lengths by the experience..."

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Cabinet Office losing grip on UK government departments – report

LesB
Facepalm

Isn't "challenge" one of those civil service euphemisms?

You know, like "courageous" means "this will end your career"

Left as an exercise for the reader :)

(Sorry, re-watched Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister recently...

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A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun

LesB

No need to start any Blasphemous Rumours.

And I'm sure the conference Enjoyed the Silence when the feedback stopped.

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Welcome to my world of The Unexplained – yes, you're welcome to it

LesB

Re: Dictionary recommended for this man

I'm not sure you know what the word "upon" means

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Well, that sucks: China's Tencent so sorry after vid emerges of faux blowjob office game

LesB

Re: SWAINOATS ??

Presumably a relation of Rumpole's SWMBO?

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Is! Yahoo! dead?! Why! web! biz! will! rename! to! Altaba! – the! truth!

LesB

Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

Quick! Somebody register the .TE TLD! (Assuming we're going for funky spelling domain names, that is)

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TalkTalk hacker gets iPhone taken away by Norwich Youth Court

LesB
Happy

Re: Someone give him a job

Obviously a definition of "up north" I was previously unaware of. Unless you're Australian, in which case, ignore me and carry on,

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

LesB

Pedant Point

The Royal Mint doesn't do banknotes - the Bank of England is responsible, with manufacturing being done by De La Rue.

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Virgin Galactic and Boom unveil Concorde 2.0 tester to restart supersonic travel

LesB

Re: No overland

<confused>Manchester to Leeds via Dubai?</confused>

Seems a bit of a long way round (though better than the current train service most days)

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Typo made Air Asia X flight land at Melbourne instead of Malaysia

LesB

Re: On the subject of typos

You should have gone for the Captain Mainwaring response: "I was wondering who'd be the first to spot that..."

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Corbyn lied, Virgin Trains lied, Harambe died

LesB

Re: OK Jeremy--renationalization--what then?

That was actually the *two* previous franchisees who both walked away being unable to pay the ludicrous sums they'd bid.

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Trump? Terror? Turkey? Whoa, there's a Tentacool in that Bush...

LesB

Wait, what?

You live in Grand Theft Auto?

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Theresa or Teresa May? Twitter confuses nude model and new PM

LesB

Re: New PM

I'm sure there will be a general election shortly. After all, no less a person than Theresa May expressed the view that a PM without a democratic mandate wasn't an altogether good thing. Though maybe that was only when the PM in question was Gordon Brown?

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/columnists/2007/08/theresa-may-m-3.html

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Bill Gates cooks up poultry recipe for Africans' paltry existence

LesB

Re: What they really need is ...

Ooook.

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Latin-quoting Linus Torvalds plays God by not abusing mortals

LesB

Re: Quia ego sic dico

More to the point, Quanti canicula ille in fenestra?

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Radiohead vid prompts Trumpton rumpus

LesB

They've only just noticed?

Released nearly two weeks ago...

Personally, I can't see anything wrong with a little Trumpton Noir...

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Brits who live in 'smart cities' don't really know or care

LesB

It's a test, isn't it?

Obviously El Reg regulars are completely clued-up and know all about these things, and if you need to ask what a Smart City is, you'll have your commenting privileges revoked, or at the very least be subjected to mockery and obfuscated links to lmgtfy.com

Or something. (Actual search results filled my Buzzword Bingo card)

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US government tells Apple it has security problems that Apple fixed last year

LesB

Re: doesn't intend to patch

Fair point about older devices - iOS9 is supported on the iPhone 4S and later. The 4S was launched in 2011, making it moderately old as these things go. The oldest unsupported iPhone is the iPhone 4, launched in 2010, which is even older as these things go.

Not sure how far any company should be required to go in supporting older kit, but I think Apple goes quite a long way.

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Blighty starts pumping out 12-sided quids

LesB

Re: Today????

The images are the same ones used when the new coin was announced in 2014...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/03/19/new_pound_coin_12_sides_threepenny/

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Hotel light control hack illuminates lamentable state of IoT security

LesB

Re: All that capability..

Wish I could give you more than one upvote for that :)

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Twitter goes titsup

LesB

I miss the Fail Whale

Used to be a common sight, now seems to be extinct, poor thing

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Friends Reunited to shut down. What do you mean, 'is it still going?'

LesB

Hold on...

That sounds more like LinkedIn

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Kids' TV show Rainbow in homosexual agenda shocker

LesB

Re: All we got in my day . . .

Notorious promoters of illicit substances:

Weeeeeeeeed!

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LesB

Re: Good job they didn't, then....

Bob the Builder? Wasn't he one of Village People?

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LesB
Unhappy

Good job they didn't, then....

Rainbow was on ITV, preuambly to pander to advertisers of {make up your own guess for stereotypical products}

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Electrician cuts wrong wire and downs 25,000 square foot data centre

LesB
Happy

Re: If anything can go wrong...

And even if it can't, it will

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New low for humanity: ONE BEELLION lost souls log on to Facebook in one day

LesB

Souls?

I'm reminded of the words of Terry Pratchett:

Ankh-Morpork! Brawling city of a hundred thousand souls! And, as the Patrician privately observed, ten times that number of actual people.

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Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1

LesB
Happy

Re: I'm confused

Christoper Robin must have written that...

GON OUT

BACKSON

BISY

BACKSON

C.R.

(Or so Tigger told me)

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BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

LesB

Star Fleet

Not sure if Lt Cmdr LaForge is that much of an expert on the beer formerly made in Newcastle. Perhaps a geordie would be better?

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First HSBC, now the ENTIRE PUBLIC SECTOR dodges tax

LesB

Claiming 20% back? Now that is a scandal.

If HMRC are letting them do that, then they must be very bad at maths.

Wouldn't it be more like 16.6667%? (Or possibly more decimal places)

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No, the Linux leap second bug WON'T crash the web

LesB

More bad reporting

I'm sure "Computing" used to be a specialist IT publication[1], so I was a little alarmed to see their take on this subject:

FUD

[1] In the days when it was 60%[2] job adverts

[2] 83% of statistics are made up on the spot

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VINYL is BACK and you can thank Sonos for that

LesB

Pah! Wax cylinders are the only way to go!

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

LesB
Coat

A shocking omission

Where's "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying"? (Nice to see it's got a 4.68 rating on Goodreads)

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Moon landing was real and WE CAN PROVE IT, says Nvidia

LesB
Thumb Up

Re: models

Those of a certain age will remember the Buckinghamshire crash mentioned on the site. Not to mention the yearly flights to the moon...

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Google kills copycat TfL congestion charge payment ads

LesB

Space hens

Otherwise known as astrochickens, perhaps.

I was going to say something obvious and boring about the quote being taken from a longer sentence, where the "w" would presumably have been lower case, but you'd have stopped reading that by now.

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Modern-day Frankenstein invents CURE for BEHEADING

LesB
WTF?

How to get ahead, errr a head

Surely it's a body transplant rather than a head transplant? Well, for those of us who keep their brains in their heads, anyway...

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#Facebook: Now all your hashtags ARE BELONG TO US, Twitter

LesB

Re: if this is a new thing....

Or people cross-posting from Twitter (various automagic methods exist)

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Three's mobile data goes titsup in mysterious spreading outage

LesB
Go

Back up for me...

Now working in Newcastle city centre.

Three's last tweet said it was back in London, with everywhere else due to be connected this afternoon.

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LesB
Unhappy

Still down for me...

Newcastle city centre. Phone showing no 3G symbol after a restart, MiFi's web interface shows "Connection failed"

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FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

LesB
Facepalm

Giraffics?

Maybe that's what he thought he was playing with?

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Biz email slinger Mimecast tumbles over

LesB
Unhappy

Over-confidence, or something

Most service providers have a publicly accessible status page carefully hosted well off their own network. The only way you'll see a service status from Mimecast is if you log into the admin portal, which was a wee bit tricky for most of today[1]. When I did finally get logged in, the status messages suggested that all was well, there were no recent problems and world peace had been achieved. Well, I may have made up the last bit.

I suspect it's been so long since they had a significant issue that they assumed they couldn't....

[1] And last I looked, it was only working on even numbered services[2], which many people won't have been trying to connect to...

[2] Customers have two services to use, one even numbered, one odd numbered. In the event that one breaks, it's supposed to fail over to the other. In this instance, it didn't.

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LesB
FAIL

Hardware failure, apparently

They've posted an interim announcement.

http://blog.mimecast.com/2013/05/mimecast-service-outage-update-for-customers/

CEO will be offering his head, errr, making a more detailed report later.

I'm posting this at 16:39. Outbound email queue still backed up, around six hours since this started.

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LesB
Unhappy

This is going to cost them...

Down for several hours (and counting) for numerous customers (and that's just the ones who've managed to fight off the angry mobs of users long enough to tweet about it). That 100% SLA is looking a bit sick right now.

One of Mimecast's selling points was that they have a resilient infrastructure, so that the loss of a datacentre would just require a bit of re-routing to maintain service. Explanations and compensation will be expected by all.

(And yeah, we just renewed our contract after three trouble-free years)

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Why next iPhone screen could be made of SAPPHIRE - and a steal...

LesB
Thumb Up

I saw what you did there...

Sapphire and steal, eh? Nicely done.

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