My breakfast today is 43% gin and a pie
Sorry, hoor, I just wanted to boast about how good unemployment is. Gin and a pie for breakfast good.
542 posts • joined 6 Jul 2009
Never even worked for them, they bought out another US BlueChip I did work for and who ripped us off.
US tech corporates used to follow the subsidies, and were all moving to Ireland at the start of my career. I remember my first company laid me off after five years, and my pal who worked at this Greenock IBM plant said, "Well, at least you'll have your five months redundancy" - I had four weeks redundancy.
869 gun deaths in the US this year already. [Source: https://www.gunviolencearchive.org]
And the only reason decent Americans have to be armed to the teeth is because we Brits keep on threatening to invade them and impose our tyranny of Prince Philip crashing around without legal censure.
I think it is high-time a cross party bunch of parliamentarians issued a clear statement that we no longer wish to invade the USA, and their various "Well-Regulated Militia" can stand down and disarm.
Rise of the super-devil!
Super-gonorrhoea spread causes 'deep concern'
"A European "party destination" is one line of inquiry and health officials are trying to contact subsequent sexual partners in the UK."
Busy googling "Neisseria gonorrhoeae" + European city name...
My dad is 82, diagnosed with dementia mid seventies. I've tried to use tech to help him but that is all slipping away. His TV broke late last year. That floored him.
We got him another TV but he can't comprehend the simple remote control. I'll make him a pictorial manual.
I just read all my 2018 comments for the first time. I made three good jokes that I repeated twice. The first time I cracked the jokes I was slightly downvoted, but the second time I cracked the same jokes I was heavily upvoted.
So my top tip for 2019, if people here don't like your joke first time around, just tell it again.
Other Britons with my name must hate me. I bought the UK-I CD disks from Ingliston market, they are the basis of 192.com. It was a reverse searchable list of electoral rolls and telephone books.
After that I started getting arrested a lot for naughty stuff - peace protester stuff, not murder and arson stuff. I resented giving out my actual address to the cops because they'd harass my family, so I memorised the 21 addresses associated with my British namesakes.
My baby was talking in her sleep
She said "Bob!"
I said "What?"
She said "Bob!"
I said "I'm Bob."
She said "No
I mean a different Bob."
So I asked her the next day
I said "Jane?"
She said "What"
I said "Who's Bob?"
She said "You're Bob."
I said "No
I mean a different Bob."
My baby was run over by a truck
It was a Dodge!
As she lay dying, she called for Bob
I touched her hand and said "I'm here."
She said "No
I mean a different Bob."
Personally, I think X.25 had a lot of advantages over TCP/IP, but the downside was it's perceived complexity.
Anyone here 40 years or younger won't get this. Network theory, connectivity, was highly disputed into the mid 1990s.
I have some awful, awful tech books from then, very expensive nonsense, I would be eager to donate if El Reg started a library of tech crap.
25 years ago the main role of any third line engineer was to correct the lies of the salesmen without losing customers.
Just as an antidote to all the scary stories here. I consumed a field of magic mushrooms, tripped and fell asleep. I woke up the next morning frozen to what I assumed was an alarm clock going ba ba ba. There was a circle of about ten lambs taking turns to jump over my chest and then queuing up to have another jump. My wrecked body was an ovine playground. They scarpered when I sat up, but it was just so cute it turned me vegetarian.
In retrospect the weirdest thing is that they queued - how British is that?
Just before or just after that I took mushrooms and saw a house spider do something amazing. It was hanging by a thread on my stairs and all eight of its legs were in a blur of motion so it looked like a ball. My friend saw it too, scared us silly, made us think it was a deity. Never killed a spider since.
I was in a field of cows that knew me with an american girlfriend who was terrified of them advancing on her. I told her, "Don't flinch, they are more scared of you than you are of them". Arguably the stupidest thing I've ever said, we had to run for it.
I went hill walking on Skye with an Aussie hippy who was fitter than me, and when she got a safe distance away from me she went nude. I'm guessing that was meant to be motivational since I was covered from head to toe.
She ended up covered in engorged ticks, and she ignored my 'twist and pull' advice. Instead she smeared the ticks with tea tree oil, and they immediately dropped off dead.
I am not a fan of Aussies or hippies or tea tree oil, but tea tree oil is tick poison so I keep some with me on every country walk.
Avon's Skin So Soft for midges, tea tree oil for ticks.
I asked a hippie ecologist why honey isn't considered vegan, and she said because bees die making it. I said that was more a workers rights issue. I asked her why science shouldn't just exterminate midges that benefit no-one and plague every species, and she replied, "No. Midges play a vital part in Scotland's ecosystem. If it wasn't for midges then we'd be over-run with English tourists".
In boring, grey, temperate UK, the most dangerous creature you're likely to run into is a dairy cow or red deer
Dog which bit Haddington man's genitals to be destroyed (17 October 2018)
The Times, no less, reported that the genitals could not be reattached by surgeons because "they had been consumed". It also reported peanut butter had been applied to them. The victim is still alive but should get a Darwin Award since he won't be contributing to the gene pool now.
This is the best website on the internet by far. Best content, smartest moderation. Only place that hasn't banned me, and I've been here decades saying silly stuff and swearing wildly.
As to the below the line folk, I don't like all of you. I love nearly all of you. Other parts of the internet / life depress me. You folk cheer me up, rekindle me. Your cynicism and insights are life-enhancing. Who ever hangs this place together deserves all our support.
I was friends with, colleagues with, a young woman who wanted to join the Royal Navy but couldn't pass the exam due to her lack of maths. She asked me to teach her maths. I accepted because I liked her and thought it had to be simple. I'm good at maths, maybe not in this forum but by British averages.
I was not good at teaching, a totally new skill to me that I had to teach myself. This girl, this woman, couldn't even cope with long division or multiplication, and that was so basic for me that I struggled to explain it. I'd previously taught my eight year old niece to multiply in hex, I was flummoxed by this woman.
I have so much respect for primary school teachers now, back then I thought they were glorified baby-sitters. My pupil enrolled in the RN.
Hiya Dan 55, one of my favourite Dan's here, I take it a Tom Waits reference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PejBkU4-1fk
And hiya Is It Me. Don't know you, pleased to meet you. I'll address your question directly.
Should they have pulled out of the territory all together?
No. They should have ignored it. The KSA is murderous bunch of wank that should be ignored. If those moronic losers don't like a Netflix satirical comedy then they should stop watching it. To kow tow to a despicable regime just makes you compliant. When anyone threatens you to curtail your freedom of speech then the only correct response begins with "Eff" and ends with you.
I was banned from The Intercept a few months ago for calling a far right troll there a "soapy tit wank". I was being polite, using a Viz insult. On the same day I got my silver badge here. I love this place, I loathe all the so called 'free speech' forums that heavily 'moderate'.
I am the only member of my college never to have worked for an arms manufacturer. I was offered such jobs often. Eff that for a game of soldiers.
So in my teens one of my Ferranti classmates started evangelising Christianity to us, and I pointed out he wasn't a Christian because he built weapons. He had an epiphany and said he'd quit the next day. I had to persuade him to get a new job before he quit because we were in a recession.
I was a peace protestor for four years. Too many stories to bore you with. Anyone with a finger in the KSA merits losing that digit.
"Think of the OVERCOMPLICATED AND UNNECESSARY STEPS you must go through just to build a HOUSE nowadays. I rest my case."
Logical fallacy there Bob, despite the valid point you ended on.
Just a hundred years ago we could all just build a house, if we were capable. There are a fair few Norwegian and Icelandic historical books on the subject that you should read. Now it's all planning regulations and every inch of soil is owned by somebody - damnable capitalism!
Nobody should be able to own land that they aren't standing upon.
I am having to cancel Netflix, the only TV I've had since 2013. I've lived without TV before, happily, but this will be a wrench because I have less in my life now.
I am going to watch the film Roma today, then cancel with an email explaining why. This is why: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-46732786
I'd done years of three years of Y2K testing for a Cisco kid, so nothing happened even though my moron mates thought the world was about to end or all IT folk were scammers.
On the night itself I was stuck in a Norwich B&B contracting for the only employer in Norwich. Nothing to do in the middle of nowhere. So I get on the last train to London, thinking if I can't be in Edinburgh or Amsterdam then I can at least see what London is like. It was the last train to Liverpool.
I now live in Edinburgh and I didn't venture out last night. It has become Disneyland. In the mid nineties it was the best Hogmanay anywhere. There were half a million people crushing the streets. Sex and drugs and imminent risk of death - fun! Now the streets are closed by police barricades, ticketed concerts for pap bands, a pastiche of its former glory.
I used to love fireworks. Now they are just air pollution for poor people.
You are an "Elder Millennial", ala Iliza Shlesinger. I'm boycotting Netflix now so make do with a transcript and just know it is hilarious.
Also, it is spelt '80s, not 80's. Come to Edinburgh, cook curry for me, and I promise to criticise your grammar, in lieu of rent.
I am drunk, but on Highland malt rather than Islay malt so I may as well be sober. All the Islay malt disappeared from shops here well before Hogmanay. I suppose at least I didn't have to resort to Speyside.
[Islay malt should be made illegal overnight. Addicts like me should be given it free on prescription. None of it should be exported]
I've been coughing my lungs up since the eighties without any ill-effects. In the past two weeks I've been feeling a sore twinge in the middle of my head every time I cough. Modern cigarettes are awful, they now contain flame retardants so they go out if you drop them on your bed or carpet. Great for your neighbour, crap for you.
My father attacked me yesterday because he couldn't work his TV that I bought him. I really don't want to reach his age, I merely want to outlive him. I said that to a specialist my GP sent me to to discuss my drinking, and the specialist agreed about life-span, "Quality not quantity".
Cigarettes are ruined, but have a curry, have a whisky. Avoid anything steamed.
Nobody who wasn't a competent techie should ever manage competent techies. Managers are secretaries, nothing more. Yet even great techies can make poor managers. Different skill sets, very small intersect.
I just quit jobs when my manager was replaced. A good manager was so rare, and an average manager so damaging, that it was better just to walk away. I'd guess at least 98% of tech managers suffer from imposter syndrome and 97% of tech managers are imposters.
You know your manager is good when you feel you've let them down and yet they haven't said anything. A bollocking from an ahole has no effect.
Last century I went to the Nederlands to become a Business Analyst, and instead they forced me to be the Sys Admin because my English wasn't good enough (Scottish accent). I was learning Dutch and they told me, "Don't learn Dutch, learn English". Rude as fuck is a national trait there.
There systems were awful, set up by an irrational hobbyist with an unhealthy interest in porn. Wanking at his desk with his office door open unhealthy. About a quarter of our servers disk was smut, some of it highly illegal / instantly dismissible in the UK but I never knew what the laws were there.
The incredibly expensive leased ISDN lines feeding the office were even more expensive because someone was logging in remotely and keeping them hot with porn (animal bestiality). The systems were so precarious that if I tried to refine them they'd collapse, and the users were all techies who were happy with the way things were. I put it out on the grapevine that usage was out of control and so was being investigated, and nothing changed. I then mentioned I was watching everything they were watching. I wasn't, but that put a stop to it. Even Dutch pervs happy to wank in an open door office don't want someone recording what they are doing over their shoulder.
Usage surprised me, even back then it was equally men and women viewing porn, albeit some of the men had extreme 'tastes'. There was a couple of guys who didn't view any porn, but I assumed they just knew the systems better than me.
Asked about speculation there was never such a drone flown over the airport, Detective Chief Superintendent Jason Tingley told the BBC: "Of course, that's a possibility. We are working with human beings saying they have seen something. Until we've got more clarity around what they've said, the detail - the time, place, direction of travel, all those types of things - and that's a big task."
"We are working with human beings"? Maybe CS Tingley should start working with tiny aliens in tiny spaceships because this nonsense begs for conspiracy theories.
You are arrested, and then you are charged, and then you face trial, and perhaps then you are found guilty. The tabloids and twitter have just jumped straight from A to D.
I'm not even sure I should have named them here, even though their names are published, but I did so because I'm not the least convinced.
I've been questioned a lot, arrested a lot, charged fewer times, found guilty twice on relatively minor charges (breach of the peace, speeding) that I admitted to. The sort of nonsense I was questioned about ranged from terrorism to fascist propaganda to "suspicion of conspiracy to commit criminal damage" when I'd locked on to a police van at a peace protest. That time The Guardian called me "an ingenious young man", which shows how mucked up the press are since they weren't there, I wasn't young and it was more than a bit daft. I even broke into an airport once, responsibly, and the police let me off.
No activist group would do this stunt, even the most extreme of them, at least not this way. And this couple aren't activists. They could be lone nutters, but they really don't check that box either; jobs, house and kid.
Supposedly some guy was seen over two drones on a bicycle, but this couple have vehicles.
This arrest requires extraordinary evidence that perhaps the police do have, but if they don't then this couple will be rich by the time they sue everyone and every publication that has smeared them.
"What do we know about the current suspects?"
The arrestees are a middle aged couple with a child. He works in a window company. His employer says he got the suspect into drone flights, and that the suspect was working during the crimes. The boss also said the suspects wife, also a suspect, had no interest in drones.
The suspects facebook account has various photos of RC aircraft he built and a couple of small drones he bought.
The police were being mocked and demeaned on social media for not catching the perpetrator. The couple have been arrested but not charged.
Bear in mind Paul Gait and Elaine Kirk haven't been charged so far and this is sub judice, despite them already being vilified by tabloids and on twitter. Frankly they don't strike me as credible suspects. He's got a job, she's no interest in drones, they have a son. It could be they are just locals who are known to have drones so an easy arrest to relieve media criticism of the police while they pursue actual culprits.
I also don't believe it is an environmental protest as more disruption would have ensued by swapping to Heathrow once all the police attention was on Gatwick. That said, the culprits may not be that rational. I still feel it's more likely to be a protest against over-flights by a disgruntled local.
The media coverage is hysterical. Obviously filling a hole in their holiday headlines.
On our way from Stockholm,
It started to snow,
And you said it was like Brexit,
But you were wrong,
It wasn't like Brexit at all.
By the time we got to Oslo,
The snow was gone,
And we got lost,
The beds were small,
But we felt so young.
It was just like Brexit,
It was just like Brexit,
It was just like Brexit
Tinsel, or rather long strips of kitchen foil, is a great way to shut down an electricity sub-station. Not a great way to take down a drone.
Over a decade ago police started using drones to buzz open air activist meetings and there was a lot of discussion on how to bring them down, similar to the comments here. Lots of suggestions of shooting at them, which I had to point out was dangerous - what goes up comes down.
Helium party balloons used as barrage balloons - with tennis nets strung between them. Helium is expensive.
My solution was our own drone with a signal jammer that blocked all but our modified signal.
I was at my first Trident Ploughshares camp meeting, and an Irish peace activist asked them for advice on how to shut down Shannon airport that was being used for US military overflights to Afghanistan. I replied, the first and only time I spoke at their meeting.
"Don't! Don't go onto the runway, don't interfere with air traffic control, you will be threatening the lives of innocents if you do. The one thing you could do to close down that airport is to surround it with a lot of dead fish. Airports can't operate when they are swarmed by seagulls".
Previously when my employer was contracted to BAA and the CAA I was on a flight that made an emergency landing due to a seagull strike in the engine. It smelled fishy, and I mean that literally. Everyone except me panicked. I was the only passenger who got on the next flight, the same aircraft.
One thing I learned at the CAA was how common near air tragedies are. I was repeatedly asked, "Were you just on flight so-and-so?", and then I'd need to lie, "No" to avoid being told how close to death I'd been.
So much of this comes across like the question on a US immigration form 'Are you planning to come here and commit a terrorist offence? Tick yes or no'
I was behind a pensioner in a crowded, sweaty consulate who hadn't filled out her visa application.
The poor guy had to shout the questions to her, and they became amusing.
"Have you or any of your relatives ever been a member of the Nazi party?"
"No son, my man John would never have tolerated that"
"Have you or any of your relatives ever been a member of the Communist party?"
"Well, John was a trade unionist for the miners, and he was a Communist, but he died twenty years ago. People would come to our cottage for help, and he'd talk to them, but I was never allowed to stay in the living room with them. I'm just wanting to visit my daughter"
To the great credit of late 1980s USA she was allowed in to visit her daughter.
The very best yes/no question I have ever been asked was when I was being tested for breast cancer by the NHS. The form asked, "Are you still having your periods? Y/N"
I get most people who have breast cancer are female, but it is deadlier in males and few males even know they can get it. That question was the nicest part of that day.
Added advantage with eagles is they also keep seagulls and other potential air-strikes away. It is kind of ironic that the inbred British elite poison avian raptors to protect their grouse for shooting season, and yet are never prosecuted by the police.
A trained golden or sea eagle could not only take down a drone, it could rip the face off any drone operator.
Would be a good way for some climate change group to get lots of publicity while 'saving the planet'.
Likely true, and arguably justifiable. I knew some Plane Stupid activists that did stupider and less effective things. Their justification is recreational tourist flights are destroying the climate. They invaded a taxiway and faced longer sentences than the five years facing this culprit.
The other most likely culprit is a local driven crazy by constant over-flights. One idiot near me launched fireworks at landing aircraft, and while again I do not approve of that at all as these tactics can distract a pilot and cause a crash, I do understand the motivation. When I was a kid sitting in my garden I would notice a flight going overhead every so often. Now every hour or so I notice the silence of an absence of flights.
Even more idiotic folk shine LASERs at flights. If this was a crazy person then they'd have strapped laser pens to their drones to maximise tabloid horror.
In truth there is negligible risk to aircraft from drones or lasers, but the negligible risk is potentially so dangerous it should be treated as attempted murder.
I love flying, but I don't fly for rational reasons. Flying for fun should be as socially unacceptable as drink driving for fun.
This is an off-topic and irrelevant anecdote so feel free to downvote or delete. Oh, and I can't find supporting links or even remember the year so feel free to disbelieve.
The Edinburgh International Conference Centre hosted NATO ambassadors or foreign ministers discussing the occupation of Afghanistan at the same time as it hosted a music awards do.
This led to a lot of peace protesters and music fans out front trying to get in, and wads of police and security easily stopping them.
I wanted to get inside to protest the Afghan war but I knew the area so I walked across the Western Approach Road into the parking area. Apparently too dangerous for any security. There was still no way into the building, the car park doors needed security keys, so I was about to turn back when one door opened.
Beyonce stepped out in a sparkly green evening dress. I hadn't seen or even heard of Beyonce so my first thought was, "That is a strange costume for a NATO ambassador."
I moved to get inside the door before she closed it, nearly bumping into her, and immediately two huge black guys in tuxedos got between me and her and were obviously about to deck me. I gestured past her to the door, and they realised I wasn't after her and let me in, while shielding her from me.
It was only when I saw the local STV news later that I learned who she was. I still get to the NATO ambassadors but I got closer than anyone else, and I learned they were less protected than the music folk, several of whom I passed in the corridors. Again, I don't know who any of them were so any interest you may have had has been misplaced.
[I have a similarly boring, if shorter, anecdote about Alexander Usminov and Naomi Campbell if anyone requests it]
Celebrities and war criminal: can't live them, can't get within five feet of them.
She describes herself as a previous Assange critic, I'm not sure that is true, but it seems a balanced critique.
Well, it kind of aligns with my opinion so I would consider her balanced! The SMH is a very reputable, a tad conservative, newspaper. I'm more of an The Australian type of guy. And I despise Australians.
That's Pamela Anderson. Admittedly neither of them have aged well, hence your confusion.
I was much amused by Cryptome John Whathisname's hostility to Wikileaks initially, but that hostility quickly became pathetic and ruined the credibility of Cryptome.
You need to ask yourself, do you really think Assange could bypass the Met AND get out on London streets AND restrain himself from posting?
My point was US sanctions should only apply to US citizens and US corporations and US banks. The US Government should not be able to arrest a Chinese citizen in Canada for breaking US sanctions on Iran.
Nobody elected the US President as President of the Earth.
This is over-reach. This is imperial. It is very similar to the Assange case in those terms. I am not a fan of dictatorial China, but I would not be upset if they arrested every US citizen in China on trumped up charges - if they did then what would your complaint be?
We have various international bodies, like the UN, ICC, IJC, to deal with international issues. Canada has shamed itself with this arrest.
US courts have no jurisdiction outside the US. We should stop kowtowing to them. I'm not anti-American, I just think I am the equal of any US citizen - and I am much, much better than their current politicians and judiciary.
The arrest of Meng Wanzhou is a telling comparison. An insane US President sanctions Iran, and now gets to arrest third party nationals in Canada? Eff that for a game of soldiers!
Even Obama before him threatened to have the founders of SWIFT arrested and extradited from Belgium because SWIFT connected Iranian banks.
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
and you're not so big
In the late '80s I lived in a tiny village, one row of miners' cottages - 102 people, 200ish cats, 50ish dogs.
The village 'council' proposed a development project which would build two new houses, and a car rally track around us plus a motor sports facility on the local reservoir which was a home to migratory birds.
The corrupt head of the local village council had been bribed by the developer to push it through with the promise of a free new luxury home. And she nearly managed it except for some pesky kids bothered by the fact it was a SSSI for migratory birds.
The developer had serious backing, from a Scottish world rally champion plus loads o' money. The turning point was a public meeting when a click in her handbag revealed she was secretly recording everyone on a Walkman.
The moment I heard that click I realised as an electronics guy with shared loft space I could bug every house in the village, and none of them would ever know.
And then I thought about having to listen to my neighbours private conversations, and I appalled myself. It was bad enough having to endure their public conversations. The idea of spying on people was even more repugnant than being spied upon by idiots.
The morality of GCHQ/NSA/Amazon/Google (ad nauseum) employees who feel justified in spying on the rest of us, you are beyond redemption. You are not the same species as the rest of us. You are the one or two percent of psychopaths in our midst, and eventually we will hear your Walkman go click.
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