* Posts by DiViDeD

824 posts • joined 11 May 2007

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I've seen the future of consumer AI, and it doesn't have one

DiViDeD
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Re: ...reading the cooking time guide on the box...

Wow! So someone actually reads those? I usually just nuke until it glows.

Funny how most ready meals taste of charcoal;, innit?

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Neutron star crash in a galaxy far, far... far away spews 'faster than light' radio signal jets at Earth

DiViDeD
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Re: Just a side note

"The universe has an equal mass of antimatter to matter..."

Nice story bro. Needs more dragons though.

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Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

DiViDeD
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Re: re: email from Stormy Daniels

"Did she give some to Donald?"

Well he has been looking taller recently. I thought it was just elevator shoes.

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DiViDeD
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Re: Advertising from mobile 'phones

Not my phone as such (or indeed at all), but I seem to have fewer intrusion attempts on my home wifi since I renamed it 'ASIO Surveillance Van XK437' (used to be called 'LAN Down Under')

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Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

DiViDeD
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Re: "It's not new behaviour"

Many years ago, doing a stint with a very oldschool solicitor firm which had just gone computery (ah, the old CADO Cat!), they had a signing in book. Each staff member had to enter their name and arrival time.

Part of the office manager's duties involved drawing a thick red line under the most recent arrival's name at 9:00 on the dot so people couldn't fake their arrival time.

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Astronaut took camera on spacewalk, but forgot SD memory card

DiViDeD
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Re: The man is 53, for god's sake!

"yes, they do have a supply of SD cards"

Yes, but who's going to volunteer to pass one out through the open window?

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Potato, potato. Toma6to, I'm going to kill you... How a typo can turn an AI translator against us

DiViDeD
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Re: Nothing new here

Wasn't there a machine translation doing the rounds years (OK, decades) ago about thow

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak"

became

"The wine is agreeable, but the meat has spoiled"

?

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IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

DiViDeD
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Re: Banned from using the fifth floor?

same goes for the BBC training centre at Wood Norton. The basement is just a basement, and there's absolutely nothing to see down there. It's not even worth you going down there. In fact, it's a sackable offence.

The fact that, once a month, a diesel oil tanker would turn up, the driver would unscrew one of the ventilator shafts and proceed to pour diesel into it until the tanker was empty, was just one of those odd coincidinks

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DiViDeD
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On roads and potholes

On the other hand, IBM do give back to the community in their own unique way.

The road outside their Cumberland Forest offices in Sydney gets resurfaced every year, and the lines repainted twice a year, come what may.

Of course, this only extends about 300metres either side of the building, but they're not made of money!

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DiViDeD
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Re: Desks should be clear anyway,...

Well, the big thing round these here parts is 'Activity Based Workplaces'.

Basically, if we assume only 70% of staff are in the office at any one time, we only provide 70% of desks, requiring 70% of the floorspace, saving us money in both office hardware and space rental. Then we give each person a notebook PC (which we generously allow them to lug home with them every evening) and tell them to 'find a space' when they come in to the office.

This means every desk area is 100% anonymous, because nobody has a permanent desk.

This has immediate and massive benefits to our staff because ... well, you know, having a team spread across many different floors (or even buildings) within the campus makes for more efficient... no, wait, you get to sit with people who do a completely different job to you, so you get to try to concentrate on some tricky coding while a salesdroid yells into his phone at the next 'workstation' and ... hang on, I'm not explaining the advantages very well here..

Did I mention we save money on office equipment and space rental?

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Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

DiViDeD
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@ Alan Hope

"When you're driving you have a constant state of heightened awareness of what is going on around you"

You've not driven in Sydney (or as we like to call it, Pinball Alley) have you?

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DiViDeD
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Re: Was the safety driver told the braking system had been degraded ?

I imagine the only thing ever said to the 'safety driver' was "How would you like to earn 50 bucks? Easy money, just sit in the car for a couple of hours"

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Creep travels half the world to harass online teen gamer… and gets shot by her mom – cops

DiViDeD
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Re: "Auckland to Sydney ... it's a whole different planet"

You're not wrong. Sydney is often full of desperately confused arrivals from Auckland, trying to reset their watches simultaneously 1 hour back and ten years forward.

Thankyou. I'm here all week.

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Firefox hooks up with HaveIBeenPwned for account pwnage probe

DiViDeD
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Managing your search engines

I only ever use DuckDuckGo. I believe they have their own management team. What would I be expected to 'manage' with this exciting new feature?

Just afraid of missing out on the fun, really.

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BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

DiViDeD
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Re: Are PDAs still alive?

And was the 'disorganiser' not an invention by Pratchett?

Oh yes.

Bingely boop, bingely bingely... Appointment with the Thieves Guild 11:00 am

It's 2 in the afternoon. And that was last Tuesday

So do you want me to take it off the Things To Do list then?

Just (re)reading Feet of Clay and getting some funny looks from my fellow commuters as I try to suppress my sniggers.

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At last! Apple admits its MacBook Pro butterfly keyboards utterly suck, offers free replacements

DiViDeD
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Re: That's not a business model

No, but it's the model for those of us who have a "Grandad's Broom" PC, where the PSU is original, Mobo replaced after 3 CPU upgrades, SSDs added and then expanded, AM expanded and upgraded at least three times, GPU changed every other month (or so it seems sometimes) and only the case (quick release bays, cover plates and side panels - no screwdriver required), fans and lighting rig are original. And with my new MSI X299 XPower board coming any day now, that makes me pretty much future proof until, oh, at least teatime.

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Intel CEO Brian Krzanich quits biz after fling with coworker rumbled

DiViDeD
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Re: Similar thing at HP

An Italian company would openly admit celebrate it.

There, FTFY

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Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

DiViDeD
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Re: You Just Need to Have Faith

"Is wales running out of sheep then?"

No, it's just running out of the sort of pure, unsullied sheep you can take home to meet your mother.

Or sacrifice to the technology gods.

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Priceless: The cost to BT for bothering you with spam? 1.5 UK pence per email

DiViDeD
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Re: Return to sender?

I thought the accepted response was 'return to sender, securely taped to a breeze block (other heavy objects are available)'?

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Donald Trump trumped as US Senate votes to reinstate ZTE ban

DiViDeD
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Re: Nice to see that some parts of US Government are still working for the US

"... Chinese made stuff-that-no-one-really-needs-but-gets-bought-anyway-cos-its-cheap tat"

Are you including Apple gear in that? Or is Foxconn the only Chinese manufacturer employing unicorns?

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Google-free Android kit tipped to sell buckets

DiViDeD
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Re: What do people want in a smartwatch?

Ok, I have some very specific things I want from a smartwatch:

At least a couple of days battery (mine has that)

Stupidly cool watch faces like animated Matrix dropper, incomprehensible binary watch with blue lights, mechanical flip watchface and a watchface based on circular bands wiv numbers onnit and a text based watch that displays stuff like 'It is twenty past four' (mine has that too!)

TV Begone clone for surreptitiously switching off all the TVs in JB HiFi (well, would you believe it? mine has that one as well!)

I'm a man of relatively simple (as in childish needs)

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Cryptography is the Bombe: Britain's Enigma-cracker on display in new home

DiViDeD
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Re: State Secret.

"... the Russian's had collected a load of the machines from the Nazis at the end of the war for their own use"

Not only the Russians. Many of our European allies continues to use Enigma machines after the war, as did a number of commercial companies.

Part of my father's job in the late 40s was intercepting encrypted military and commercial transmissions from ships in the Med on behalf of the supposedly decommissioned Bletchley Park 'monitoring station'.

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Universal Credit has never delivered bang for buck, but now there's no turning back – watchdog

DiViDeD
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Democracy

It's commonly said of our model of democracy down here in the Lucky (and apparently imaginary, according to this link) Country, that nobody ever wins our elections. Elections are never won, they are only lost by governments.

Having seen a succession of variations on "This lot are rubbish, let's give the other lot (you know, the ones we booted out in favour of this lot because they were rubbish?) a crack at it"

Is it any wonder we drink?

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DiViDeD
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@ Dr S

During my brief but unhappy period of dealing with DWP muppets, I had been arguing for several months (without any sign of benefit) that being a company director (of a £2 company) did not necessarily mean I could live off my investments between assignments.

I finally got notification of a job interview and a hearing to determine whether I was going to get my hands on some of those juicy welfare millions, both scheduled for the same day. The telephone conversation went something like this:

"well, you'll have to attend the hearing, or we can't pay you"

"But I have a job interview!"

"well, you have to decide whether your interview is more important than getting your benefit"

"-!"

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BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

DiViDeD
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Re: There must be a mole among us

"..arrogant to think that everyone agrees with your point of view on any topic.."

Ah, but that's where I unleash my secret weapon (no, I don't want to do an evil laugh now - why does everyone assume I want to do an evil laugh?). I simply ensure that I am always, and invariably, right about everything, thus making the downvoters expose their nature by attempting to contradict my awesome truthiness.

Muhahahahaha! (Ah, there you go)

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Keep your hands on the f*cking wheel! New Tesla update like being taught to drive by your dad

DiViDeD
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Re: Auto-crash-pilot

What about an object crossing the road perpendicular to the line of travel? It's moving but not with a component in the direction the radar's looking.

Well, we could always test it out in the real world. You drive your Tesla on autopilot and I'll cross the road, and ... ...

Ah. Second thoughts, I'll drive your Tesla on autopilot and you cross the road in front of it.

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DiViDeD
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Re: Auto-crash-pilot

What kind of prat waits for the car to decide?

Probably anyone who is in a Tesla on autopilot. If you don't trust the car to drive, you'll probably never use the feature. If you do, you have an expectation that the car will drive correctly and safely, an expectation that will be reinforced every time it does the right thing. After a relatively short time, you'll be seeing obstacles and hazards and believing the car will deal with them because it already has n times.

"Irving, there's a hole in the moon!"

"Relax Myra. It'll be charted. We'll be programmed to go around it"

We all know how well that worked out.

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DiViDeD
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Re: Auto-crash-pilot

I think even a good driver (although one has to ask why a good driver would be ignoring the road) would have to add to the normal 'thinking distance' the time needed to switch back to 'I'm driving a car' mode from the 'I'm on autopilot' mode. As earlier posters have pointed out, initial reactions would still be from a mindset that expected the car to do something about the situation, and realisation that the car was going to do nothing might well come far too late to take over and respond to the threat.

The halfway house of 'assisted cruise', and even fully autonomous cars is fraught with pitfalls. The only way to introduce autonomous vehicles safely is to replace all vehicles with fully autonomous vehicles in one go. An autonomous vehicle can predict or query the behaviour of every other vehicle on the road, but it can't predict that the meatsack in lane 4 is going to cut across 3 lanes of traffic at the last possible moment and at very high speed, because he suddenly realised this is his exit. An autonomous vehicle would already have positioned for exit some time back and alerted all other traffic to its intentions. You'd need to get rid of all human directed vehicles over for such a scenario to exist.

That just isn't going to happen

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Ex-Rolls-Royce engineer nicked on suspicion of giving F-35 info to China

DiViDeD
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Re: We should MAKE them copy it.

Well, why not? If anyone can make the bloody thing work (and it's clear the septics can't), it's the Chinese. And they'll probably be cheaper, with good deals for bulk purchase.

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... Aaaand that's a fifth Brit Army Watchkeeper drone to crash in Wales

DiViDeD
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Re: Location, location, location

Well, Cardiff is about the only place in Wales the English speaking world has heard of (apart from 'hey, don't you guys have that place with the longest name in the world?' - we don't. That honour goes to Taumatawhakatangi­hangakoauauotamatea­turipukakapikimaunga­horonukupokaiwhen­uakitanatahu), and it's so close to the border it's barely in Wales.

It's as though, when they decided Wales could have its own capital city in 1955, they looked at where it could go so that they wouldn't have to go too far into Wales if they ever needed to visit.

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DiViDeD
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Re: Are they using these to spy on Brits?

Nothing to spy on in West Wales, mate. I lived there for 40 years.

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DiViDeD
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Continually Flying over Wales

I wonder why the downvotes. I'm Welsh by birth, and I've flown over Wales enough times to know that it's just lumps.

Lumps and sheep.

Lumps and sheep and angry, red faced men in clapped out Escort L's with 'RS turbo' written on the back in felt tip pen.

I was once behind a Vauxhall Cavalier in Talbot Green (it's in Wales), whose owner had managed, with some deft marker pen wizardry, to change the 'L' into an 'i'.

This is Wales once you get out of the cities.

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AI built to track you through walls because, er, Parkinsons?

DiViDeD
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Re: Wrong type of wall

"meter thick stone walls on the outside of a building aren't a problem - I assume few buildings have those on the inside?"

Funny you should say that. When my parents bought their first (and last) house in Havefordwest back in the 70s, every wall, interior and exterior, was 2'6" (or thereabouts - medieval construction wasn't, apparently, a high precision system) thick and comprised very irregular blocks of stone held together by what appeared to be crunchy, granular mortar and a lot of hope,

My father's renovation and rebuilding efforts led to 'interesting times'.

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DiViDeD
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Re: Tinfoil sales to soar

Ah, memories of the Windmill pub, Chipperfield. Not sure how they managed it, but mobile signal would drop to zero as soon as you entered the bar. the landlord took quite a few calls on the fixed landline along the lines of 'Who? No, haven't seen him all evening', often followed by 'Bill, June just called again'.

Happy days.

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Aussie bloke wins right to sue Google over 'underworld' images

DiViDeD
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"only two pictures was of myself"

Ha! Got you beat, Not a single picture of me, even after several 'Show More' clicks. Fear Me! I am invisible to teh interwebs!

And no, my full name is not particularly common. I started getting pictures of ducks and cars after a while for some reason, though.

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Citation needed: Europe claims Kaspersky wares 'confirmed as malicious'

DiViDeD
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Re: You do not need evidence against Russians

"not all Russians fire missiles at civilian airliners". From what I've seen, the official accusation against Russia on the shooting down of MH17 is that, in the words of the UK Prime Minister "Russia must bear sole responsibility" because the missile was manufactured in Russia.

By that token, when are we going to condemn America for every Palestinian child killed by a US manufactured bullet, or Japan for every rocket fired by IS out of the back of a Toyota Hilux?

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Woman sues NASA for ownership of vial of space dust

DiViDeD
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Re: "Are you feeling old yet?"

Worse than that is having coherent conversations about politics with people who were barely born when 9/11 happened.

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watchOS 5 hints at new Apple wearables and life beyond the Watch

DiViDeD
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@ Steve Davies 3 Re: Typical Apple

I hardly think Apple have anything approaching 'most' of the wearables niche. With Garmin and FitBit belting them out like there's no tomorrow, and any number of manufacturers supporting Android and even (say it's not so) Tizen still chugging along, I think Apple's market share is likely to be on a par with its share of the phone market - tiny but very vocal.

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Smart bulbs turn dumb: Lights out for Philips as Hue API goes dark

DiViDeD
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Re: How to debug your lightbulbs

Holy Flying Scotsmen, Batman! that is one of the weirdest articles I've ever read.

- type in the serial numbers of your lightbulbs

- remove all your dimmer switches

- reset your configuration and start again

- give the lightbulb full access to internet, sms, contacts, location and breakfast menu

- sign out of your iCloud account

- be careful not to delete all your contacts

- sign back in to your iCloud account

This is how a lightbulb install/debug/operation should go:

screw bulb into fixture

switch on (at wall or via remote)

Of course, it means your lightbulb can't try to sell you shit, but sometimes you have to take the smooth with the even smoother.

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DiViDeD
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Re: "a long overgrown pathway to your house, and you're coming home late"

.. or, as you can with most cars these days, park so the 'follow me home' lights illuminate the pathway (and learn to walk fast if you haven't figured out how to adjust the timing yet)

On the Hue note, I have LED light fixtures manufactured by some 'Happy Electrics Corporation' in China. They have a short range remote (actually many of them, but each works on any light inside or out) which allows you to switch the lights on and off, dim them, and set them to any one of (so they claim!) 16 MEELLION colours, as well as a relatively efficient dimmer function and various hideous colour changing 'pulse' modes.

Dirt cheap, and no infernalnet connection required.

Of course, I can completely understand that being unable to switch your kitchen light on and change it from white to blue while you're on holiday in the Cocos islands could be a major problem for .. .. fucking NOBODY.

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USA! USA! We're No.1! And we want to keep it that way – in spaaaace

DiViDeD
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Re: goddess on the mountain top, burning like a silver flame

Yeah, you've kind of given one of the main reasons for *not* going to Venus. Burning like a silver flame looks good on a book cover, but it's actually bloody painful.

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Clock blocker: Woman sues bosses over fingerprint clock-in tech

DiViDeD
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Re: Stupidity

At a company I've done some work for, they have the old Half Life iris scanner at the door. Great for that Gordon Freeman feeling, and generally pretty quick and accurate.

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Apple somehow plucks iPad sales out from 13-quarter death spiral

DiViDeD
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Re: Meh....

If I want to change the playlist on a Sonos, I wonder what I'm doing in someone else's house.

For all (and I mean all) serious computing tasks, I use a serious computer (big box, 32Gb RAM, RAID array, water cooled GTX1080, cold cathode lighting, the lot). The only laptops in the house are for shunting media between devices. And my tablet is simply a glorified eBook reader to use while commuting.

I guess that makes me a curmudgeon. At last!

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Help, I'm being held prisoner in a security camera testing factory. So please read this...

DiViDeD
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Re: Unintended consequences

"Is there a way to share the live feed to the police, for example?"

No worries. It's in the Cloud. You're sharing it with *everybody*

HTH

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Experts build AI joke machine that's about as funny as an Adam Sandler movie (that bad)

DiViDeD
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Re: what constitutes humour in Japan.

Japanese humour is mostly to do with humiliation. So pushing sticks up pompous peoples' bums is very popular, as is burning nipples with magnifying glasses.

It's a brave new word, alright.

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Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

DiViDeD
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Re: Norfolk Broads

Lovely girls, both of em.

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The ice must flow: Dunes of frozen gas spotted on alien dwarf

DiViDeD
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Re: Bring it on!

Not really bothered on the 'Save Pluto' front, but I do remember, years ago, reading that, although a ninth planet had been predicted from planertary perturbation (gravitic influence on orbital motion not accounted for by observed masses) for many years, Pluto did not appear to have either the mass or the orbit to account for these effects.

Essentially, there was an undiscovered planetary mass (or lots of small masses in a relatively small region), which was the real 'planet nine', and whatever Pluto might be, it certainly wasn't that.

Does anyone else remember that, or have I been carrying around my own personal Mandela effect for all these years?

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Ex-staffer of UK.gov dept bags payout after boss blabbed medical info to colleagues

DiViDeD
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The DWP said

"We take the welfare of our staff and the security of all personal data extremely seriously." .. .. .. every time we get caught out.

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Buggy software could lock a Jeep's cruise control

DiViDeD
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"1) Emissions/fuel efficiency - a lot of the engine electronics (EFI and using ECUs) are to increase fuel efficiency and lower emissions."

..While undergoing certification testing

There you go, FTFY. You're welcome.

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BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

DiViDeD
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@AC Re: Orange Safety Gear.

"A chrome plated box with blue LEDs "

Oh, we vapeheads have the pipe thing well covered, thanks

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0c/9e/24/0c9e24158c0419d997ac02910bd9a005.jpg

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