* Posts by Ken 16

901 posts • joined 3 Jul 2009

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Tech to solve post-Brexit customs woes doesn't exist yet, peers say

Ken 16
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The question is;

What bullshit will the government swallow in an IT services proposal?

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Ken 16
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Holmes

Technology that doesn't exist

is the only kind of technology that a government department can deliver by next March.

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Why waste away in a cubicle when you could be a goddamn infosec neuromancer on £50k*?

Ken 16
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Trollface

Re: Why?

and those are also good skills for breaking into places and stealing information

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'Men only' job ad posts land Facebook in boiling hot water with ACLU

Ken 16
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Facepalm

Lookalike Targeting

I think that option will be self selecting in a different way as the companies using it succumb to group think and go out of business through too many yes men. Diverse experiences make for diverse opinions and a healthier approach to business planning.

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UK.gov isn't ready for no-deal Brexit – and 'secrecy' means businesses won't be either

Ken 16
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Headmaster

Re: Hmm

Also every time the EU offered to negotiate on something the UK came up with another 'red line' they wouldn't negotiate on. So "we are where we are", a phrase which always means "up to our necks in completely avoidable shit".

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Ken 16
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Meh

Re: No shit, Sherlock?

Legislators would never pass that kind of law

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Revealed: The billionaire baron who’ll ride Elon’s thrusting erection to the Moon and back

Ken 16
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WTF?

And/Or?

"Musk has said he wants it to be able to carry a payload of 100 people into space, and/or the hardware to keep them alive once they get there."

He really said he wanted to put 100 people into space OR the hardware to keep them alive?

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UK.gov finally adds Galileo and Copernicus to the Brexit divorce bill

Ken 16
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Trollface

great idea

Let's include Northern Ireland with Scotland and use EU funds to build a Solway-Tweed shipping canal to allow high speed container routes from Ireland to the mainland and remove the land border!

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UK networks have 'no plans' to bring roaming fees back after Brexit

Ken 16
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Trollface

I'm sorry I'm frequently offended by strangers on the internet.

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We're doomed: Defra's having a cow over its Brexit IT preparations

Ken 16
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Trollface

You had TWO requirements!

1) Don't change the screens

2) Make sure the app tier will scale

Great idea at first scrum; "Lets skip the app tier and redesign all the screens so we have something to show management. What is someone asks what we're doing? Show them how many screens we've redesigned!"

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So what's Microsoft's counter-AWS cloud strategy? Don't be evil

Ken 16
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Boffin

no more outages ever?

How many 9's is that and how do you design for it?

I'm as anti MS as anyone but I don't think their cloud goes down because they mean it to, or know how to stop it from doing that, anymore than AWS plan for S3 regions to fail from time to time. Cloud availability is similar to any other operational resilience/disaster recover planning just the disasters are different and affect every tenant so you don't get a chance to yell at the provider about how it's hurting you.

As next comment says, you can design in security and availability to very high levels just maybe you need to go multi-cloud and retain some services on prem too.

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UK.gov went ahead with under-planned, under-funded IT upgrade? Sounds about right

Ken 16
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Thumb Up

Re: Nothing unusual

Well done you on kicking off an interim migration to Windows 8 for part of the estate

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Ken 16
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Happy

Then the suppliers can double their quotes

and everyone is happy!

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Ken 16
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Trollface

What do you mean?

They have the European Union to blame!

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Ken 16
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Trollface

maybe it's Agile

Everyone knows you don't need requirements with Agile.

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make all relocate... Linux kernel dev summit shifts to Scotland – to fit Torvald's holiday plans

Ken 16
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Re: Iain Rankin?

Rule 34?

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Ken 16
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Re: New! It's the elReg trip advisor

Don't forget the Macaroni Pies

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Ken 16
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Black Helicopters

Iain Rankin?

I'd go Ken MacLeod or Charlie Stross

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Ken 16
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Re: It's pronounced EE-din-Berg*

Yes, or rather they open the gates and see if the Penguins want to parade.

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Ken 16
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Pint

It's pronounced EE-din-Berg*

30 penguin fanciers outside of festival season isn't going to stretch Edinburgh hotel resources and if they can afford the flights they can afford a nicer hotel in town. It depends where the conference is, of course. May as well be within staggering distance of the Grassmarket or if you're feeling fancy, the Malmaison at Leith Shore will give lots of places to eat and drink nearby as the Michelin guide will attest.

*disclaimer, I live/work in Edinburgh now but not in the tourism industry

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Canny Brits are nuking the phone bundle

Ken 16
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Facepalm

Re: I never quite understood why one would get a bundle

As someone who has worked at a few mobile telcos, it seems like the marketing people come out with plan offers to attract new (or switching) customers and get rewarded when those work. The plans get dropped after 3-12 months, depending on whether their profitability was assessed on a quarterly or annual basis but then the customers stay on the plan until they can be tricked off.

If I recall correctly, one vendor had about 4 customers left on a 1980's era small business plan that gave them 5 handsets a year free and free calls and texts (not sure about data) for something like €36 annually - because that was a lot of money at the time.

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Microsoft gives Windows 10 a name, throws folks a bone

Ken 16
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Windows

WPS Office

I am more than happy with it, having used Open/Libre/Star/Symphony and Softmaker Offices in the past.

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Go Pester someone else: TSB ditches CEO over bank's IT meltdown

Ken 16
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Trollface

Re: Dreaming

I'll do it for half that and I'll use the IoT - Race you to the bottom!

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Lyon for speed, San Francisco for money, Amsterdam for fun: the best cities to be a techie

Ken 16
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Paris Hilton

Re: Any Reg readers living in Amsterdam right now?

I did think Dublin would be higher up but fair enough

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Black holes can briefly bring dead white dwarf stars back to life

Ken 16
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Windows

Re: End of the world as we know it?

Wait and see, like the rest of us.

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A decade on, Apple and Google's 30% app store cut looks pretty cheesy

Ken 16
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Windows

Multiling O keyboard worked for me

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Detroit sh*t shifter's operating costs waste away with Oracle's cloud

Ken 16
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Holmes

Ailementary, my dear Watson

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Don't let Google dox me on Lumen Database, nameless man begs

Ken 16
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Coat

One weeks it's dog shit, next it's garden waste

that sounds like good organic gardening practice to me.

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Surprise! VAT, customs likely to get a bit trickier in a Brexit no-deal world

Ken 16
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Trollface

Convenience is exactly the right word

There will be a touching cloth moment when people realise it's not available.

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Don't mean to alarm you – but NASA is about to pummel the planet with huge frikkin' space laser

Ken 16
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Boffin

This is the voice of the Mysterons.

We know you can hear us, Earthmen.

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Lo and behold, Earth's special chemical cocktail for life seems to be pretty common

Ken 16
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Boffin

Re: Give it a couple of million years

There wasn't even one on Earth a million years go, despite what Sophia Lorens bikini might tell you.

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Self-driving cars will be safe, we're testing them in a massive AI Sim

Ken 16
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Coat

crossing of a Ford

Contina, Sierra or Transit?

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Home Office seeks Brexit tech boss – but doesn't splash the cash

Ken 16
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Trollface

Re: Not Enough if you ask me

Maybe it will be paid in ration coupons or euro at May 2017 exchange rates to make it interesting...

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CADs and boffins get some ThinkPad love

Ken 16
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Windows

4lbs in old money

Nobody under the age of 54 will have learned pre-metric weights in school, does their inclusion mean this laptop is aimed at the worker near retirement? If so, the weight is no kindness on old bones.

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Work at a startup? Think US military isn't good enough at killing? We've got the program for you

Ken 16
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Trollface

I have a proposal for the Space Force

It's a death ray that only works on aliens. I need a few $100million to develop and some live aliens for testing...

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Wait, did you hear that? That rumbling in the distance? Sounds like... a 16-socket IBM Power9 box shuffling this way

Ken 16
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Paris Hilton

New customers?

I can't think of any usecases besides consolidating or scaling older p series estates.

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Edge, Azure and Windows Phone receives a Telegram. Yup, it's the week at Microsoft

Ken 16
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my one bullet dodged in my smartphone history

I had a Samsung Bada phone, replaced it with a Blackberry z10 and when BB10 end of life was announced I was planning to get a Windows phone but put buying it off long enough to save myself the misery.

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Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

Ken 16
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too many Friends re-runs in your house?

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HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

Ken 16
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Joke

I know you're lying

The Mercury project didn't get funded until 1958

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Declassified files reveal how pre-WW2 Brits smashed Russian crypto

Ken 16
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Big Brother

From each according to his ability

to each according to his need?

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Elon Musk, his arch nemesis DeepMind swear off AI weapons

Ken 16
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Terminator

Excellent!

That will push up contract rates for the rest of them.

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Place your bets: How long will 1TFLOPS HPE box last in space without proper rad hardening

Ken 16
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Trollface

Bacon?

Pigs! In! SPAAAAACE!

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Shouting lager, lager... Carlsberg's beer AI can now tell pilsners apart

Ken 16
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Pint

Probably?

I assume it produces a statistical likelihood rather than a defininite output.

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Farewell then, Slack: The grown-ups have arrived

Ken 16
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Trollface

If you have cold dead fingers

you may be glad to see Notes is back; https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/07/16/domino_10_beta_2/

"send more brains"

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One two three... Go: Long Pig Microsoft avoids cannibalising Surface

Ken 16
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I'd be OK with the price

if the typecover was included.

You can get a generic pen for about €25 if you really want to (I had a Surface Pro 3 in a previous job, never used anything but the keyboard)

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GitHub given Windows 9x's awesome and so very modern look

Ken 16
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Did the matron bring you your cocoa?

As you went down for your daytime nap at LaZy Acres retirement home.

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Who fancies a six-core, 128GB RAM, 8TB NVMe … laptop?

Ken 16
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Paris Hilton

How many browser tabs can I open before it crashes?

And how long does the battery last?

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Euro bank regulator: Don't follow the crowd. Stay off the cloud

Ken 16
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Trollface

It means you may be able to grow mushrooms in them

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When Google's robots give your business the death sentence – who you gonna call?

Ken 16
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Paris Hilton

Let me rephrase

If it's mission critical, don't entrust it to just one cloud.

And have full backups under your companies control.

I haven't seen a physical backup since the last century and I do this for a living.

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The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

Ken 16
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Re: Notch isn't so bad

I bought a Doogee Y100 Pro in advance of a holiday based on it's ad showing someone cracking walnuts with the screen. Day 1 the wind blew it out of my pocket as I walked along a cliff and the screen cracked on the rocks (on the second bounce, I'll give it that). It still worked and at under €100 wasn't worth repairing.

That was my first cracked screen after about 5 years of smartphone ownership, until then I thought only iPhone screens cracked (because I'd only seen ads for iPhone screen replacement and people on public transport using iPhones with cracked screens) and it was 3 years til my next, when I dropped and cracked 2 in the space of a month.

I've gone Xiaomi too now, they work well and it's a big enough brand that I can get any accessory I want.

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