* Posts by Craig 2

281 posts • joined 1 Jul 2009

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Huawei guns for Apple with Mac-alike Matebook X

Craig 2

"the usual garbage of discarded kids' toys emptied over your desk."

This is so true, you get a professional spec PC and turn it on to be greeted by incredibly condescending stuff like "we're so happy you're here" and "we're making things great for you" and then the start menu appears full of fisher-price colourful building blocks.

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A tiny Ohio village turned itself into a $3m speed-cam trap. Now it has to pay back the fines

Craig 2
Joke

Re: "observe the speed limit"

"If all the speedsters on UK motorways were appropriately fined it would bring in quite a bit of money"

Easier to just add a tax to all BMWs and AUDIs at point of sale...

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Craig 2

Re: A novel suggestion

How about not letting people borrow your car who break the law, or at least asking them to respect your property? Your car, your responsibility.

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No Windows 10, no Office 2019, says Microsoft

Craig 2

Re: Fear...

"Fear will keep the local systems in line.

Fear of having to think even a little."

Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed.

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Bluetooth 'Panty Buster' 'smart' sex toy fails penetration test

Craig 2

"Worse yet, an attacker might be able to remotely turn on the device without the consent of the its owner"

So this could be prosecuted as sexual assault? Plus of course the other charge of hacking...

Perversely, a remote attacker could end up with a harsher sentence than a physical assailant.

It's a crazy, crazy world....

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Europe slaps €997m antitrust fine on Qualcomm

Craig 2

Re: Great.

"Apple as well as Android OEMs would have been paying less on average per phone for them."

What the hell has component cost got to do with the price Apple sell their phones for?

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Airbus issues patch to prevent A350 airliner fuel tanks exploding

Craig 2

Re: Stop <> prevent

You can't stop something unless it has started...

They have not started exploding.... QED

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Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Do you drive a car?

"Just as well you don't have a job that requires you to drive then.."

He could be an emergency ambulance driver and his original statement would still be true...

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UK.gov puts Suffolk 7-year-old's submarine design into production

Craig 2

"A whole generation of kids love submarines, thank to Octonauts."

We've got a fishy situation!

Always makes me snigger...

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Up, up and a-weigh! Boeing flies cargo drone with 225kg payload

Craig 2

Re: Other uses

My very first thought! Look out for incoming viral videos where some YouTube idiot transports themselves across town....

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Craig 2

"reasonably arguable with a straight face. "

Having pranked my family/kids regularly, I can argue some pretty crazy shit with a straight face :)

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SpaceX delivers classified 'Zuma' payload into orbit

Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Mars Orbit?

Years from now if that Tesla hits a Mars mission craft, it will be blamed on a Tesla autopilot failure!

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Maplin Electronics CEO ups stakes for steak house

Craig 2

"differentiated technology retailer"

Brilliant way to say "we sell tat nobody wants" (at inflated prices)

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Peak smartphone? iPhone X flunks 'supercycle' hopes

Craig 2

A new SE may be coming...

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Please, please, c'mon, just... please, pretty please, just, like, please use our AI – Microsoft

Craig 2

"PS: Before anyone gets upset we're being too dismissive and skeptical of Microsoft, just think of us as an antidote to the cynical laundering of the Redmond software giant, which fields its CEO, Satya Nadella, out to cosy US cable TV."

El Reg scared of commentards? Have you gone soft for Christmas?!

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Someone tell Thorpe Lane in Suffolk their internet sucks – they're still loading the page

Craig 2

Re: Pearls to Pig(eons)

What's the bandwidth of an unladen swallow?

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Microsoft emergency update: Malware Engine needs, erm, malware protection

Craig 2

You couldn't make this stuff up....

That's the beauty of it: with Microsoft you don't need to!

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Remember the 'budget' iPhone SE? Apple plans an update – reports

Craig 2

I was hoping they would update it eventually, I still use my 5S heavily but it's beginning to groan under the strain now. I almost bought an SE but held out for just this eventuality.. The form factor does everything (I need) and is more convenient to carry everywhere than it's more bulky successors.

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Car tax evasion has soared since paper discs scrapped

Craig 2

It should be feasible to cross-reference number plates and flag impossible situations such as the same plate being 'x' miles apart within an impossible time frame.

Even better, a plate that is regularly flagged close to the registered keeper's address is more likely to be genuine than one being driven around locally in a completely different area of the country. Obviously exceptions apply, before some smart alec posts his particular situation.

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No, Samsung, you really do owe Apple $120m for patent infringement

Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Who invented what?

Be careful quoting reality as you see it as actual reality :)

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ATM fees shake-up may push Britain towards cashless society

Craig 2

The decline in cash use has inadvertently (or not...) increased the surveillance footprint of everyone.

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Jeff Bezos sells one million Amazon shares, makes one billion dollars

Craig 2

Why not? It's a good way to get ahead...

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Frowns all round as Smile and Co-op online banking goes down

Craig 2

It always cracks me up when people threaten to leave and join another bank, like they are going to have 100% uptime and they really do care about their customers!

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Apple hauls in $52.6bn in Q4, iPhone, iPad and Mac sales all up

Craig 2
Trollface

AC, living proof that there's an ignorant hater born every minute....

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Calm down, Elon. Deep learning won't make AI generally intelligent

Craig 2

Re: I can still prove mathematically that we cannot...

The word you were looking for is "reproduction".

Average guy here. Reproduction is not copying yourself.

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Musk: Come ride my Big F**king Rocket to Mars

Craig 2

Rockets, as well as deadlines, make a whooshing sound* as they fly by so I'm sure Douglas Adams would have approved!

*BEFORE they leave the atmosphere, smart alec.

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Attention adults working in the real world: Do not upgrade to iOS 11 if you use Outlook, Exchange

Craig 2
FAIL

Re: Works fine here

'Brainless cretin-attracting News Outlet'

and yet here you are commenting!

and now I'm commenting on your comment... it's cretins all the way down....

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Ah, good ol' Windows update cycles... Wait, before anything else, check your hardware

Craig 2
Trollface

Re: I'm confused

Because the timer only goes up to 255 seconds!

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China orders immediate shuttering of Bitcoin exchanges

Craig 2

Call me cynical but I'll wager a few people got filthy rich playing that currency dip!

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El Reg gets schooled on why SSDs will NOT kill off the trusty hard drive

Craig 2

I've always thought (like most things) the transition will be gradual. Ok, I may not have known the exact reasons why but even the blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally... :)

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Sorry, but those huge walls of terms and conditions you never read are legally binding

Craig 2

"Luckily for the rest of us, EU directive 93/13 and legislation like the Unfair Contract Terms Act 1977 or the Consumer Rights Act 2015 in the UK offer consumers some protection."

Either of these been tested in court recently? Genuine question

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Nosey ex-NHS staffer slapped with fine for illegally peeking at medical records

Craig 2

Re: £1,745?

"I'd like to know where the 65 quid from my speeding fine went"

Ostensibly used to support casualties of speeding drivers...

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Microsoft breaks Office 365 sign-in pages ahead of surprise update

Craig 2

"an exciting future of innovation in the sign-in space."

I can hardly contain my excitement :)

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Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

Craig 2

Re: Ooooh!

Nailed it.

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Brit neural net pioneer just revolutionised speech recognition all over again

Craig 2
Trollface

"Icelandic has only about 400,000 speakers, and they're worried that their language will die out. "

I sympathize with small nations losing their lingual identity (Except Wales*) but wouldn't it be great if everyone in the world spoke the same language? A naive thought I know, it seems difficult in my house just to get teenagers to speak the same language..

*Just printing all those dual-language road signs must cost, and are they REALLY needed?

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Hackers able to turbo-charge DJI drones way beyond what's legal

Craig 2

The only chance of enforcing hard limits on range and altitude is with actual silicon embedded in the controller chips. NOT firmware and without any kind of software control. Even then, I reckon chances are evens they wouldn't find a workaround eventually!

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OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?

Craig 2

Stream ripping is just the modern equivalent of taping the radio as I (suspect) a lot of commenters here did in their younger days. As we all knew from 30+ years ago, home taping is killing music!

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Windows Insiders with SD cards turn into OneDrive outsiders

Craig 2

"Microsoft discovered a warning message that should have existed was missing when a user attempted to store their OneDrive folder on a non-NTFS filesystem – which was immediately remedied. Nothing has changed in terms of official support and all OneDrive folders will continue to need to be located on a drive with the NTFS filesystem."

Hanlon's razor

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Kaspersky repeats offer: America can see my source code

Craig 2

Re: Seeing the source wouldn't help

"Offering to show the source code may mostly be an empty gesture, but at least it shows some goodwill, "

Sorry, but if empty gestures generate goodwill with you then more fool you.

I agree it's impossible for Kasperksy to win here. If America has decided that Kaspersky is "bad" then it's probably for other political reasons rather than an actual belief in them subverting their own software.

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Craig 2

Re: Seeing the source wouldn't help

Precisely! So who is the intended audience for that announcement, since it's a completely empty gesture to anybody with a modicum of technical know-how.

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Amazon squares up to Walmart over boycott calls: Talk sh!t, get hit

Craig 2

"Wow really? You actually think that Amazon corp. would extract/snoop on data held on their customers EC2/RDS instances for their own use?"

It's all anonymized of course, no personally identifiable information... etc etc

I wasn't suggesting they harvest virtual machine images or copy entire databases but....

Do you think they do any kind of analytics on customer's traffic & data? Of course they do, it's just how deep they decide is acceptable. That sounds like a very blurry line. :)

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Craig 2

"an incorrect view that AWS is somehow supporting Amazon's retail business."

If there's a commercial advantage for Amazon retail to analyze competitors AWS data, you can bet they're doing it!

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Tesla death smash probe: Neither driver nor autopilot saw the truck

Craig 2

Skipped to the end after a few comments because this is an unsolvable & unknowable situation. Every side arguing like they are 100% correct with no room for error. This may, that might, blah blah.... If you believe in self-driving cars you'll make excuses for what happened, if you don't then you'll use it as proof they are the devil incarnate...

Self-driving cars are coming.

There will be fewer accidents.

That is all.

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Report estimates cost of disruption to GPS in UK would be £1bn per day

Craig 2

Hipsters and milennials would be dead in days, unable to find a stream or river without a map. Those of us relying on knowledge handed down by our elders might survive a lot longer.

Luddite much?

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Facebook tried teaching bots art of negotiation – so the AI learned to lie

Craig 2

Re: Hats? Bah !

Careful! If computers realize what power women wield then they may refuse to do anything for male techs. We'll have to resort to wearing wigs & high heels and I prefer to leave that for the weekends...

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We're not saying we're living in a simulation but someone's simulated the universe in a computer

Craig 2

Re: "The universe is made up of about 23 per cent dark matter and 72 per cent dark energy"

Total perspective vortex.....

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Boeing preps pilotless passenger flights – once it has solved the Sully problem, of course

Craig 2

A computer can respond much more quickly to all previously known problems, it's the UNKNOWN ones where humans generally perform better.

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Golden handshakes of almost half a million at Wikimedia Foundation

Craig 2

Re: Why I don't donate to big charities

" I refuse to fund money-grubbing liars and thieves."

"I applaud the sentiment and I agree with it, but I have to ask: Are you paying your taxes?"

I think the Government (taxes) probably falls under the same scope.....

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Just delete the internet – pr0n-blocking legislation receives Royal Assent

Craig 2

Re: Easy

How'd you hack my details?

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