* Posts by Craig 2

313 posts • joined 1 Jul 2009

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The eyes have it: 'DeepFakes' bogus AI-meddled videos outed by unblinking gaze

Craig 2

Re: The real problem with "Deep Fakes"

"I can now visit Miss Whiplash safe in the knowledge that should a video ever emerge I can gaze into the camera with a look of injured innocence and say "Obviously this is a Deep Fake."

That would be a dangerous path to tread as recently proved; it's not against the rules to see Miss Whiplash but it IS against the rules to lie about it....

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Keep your hands on the f*cking wheel! New Tesla update like being taught to drive by your dad

Craig 2

Re: Crash Test Dummies.

" it ensures you keep within the lanes,"

If you can't stay inside the lane then you're either A: Not concentrating or B: A terrible driver. In either case, autopilot just encourages that type of behaviour.

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Craig 2

Re: Crash Test Dummies.

"Inevitably when you have autopilot engaged you will start to lose concentration and start to learn to let the car do the driving"

This is the real crux of the matter. What is the point of "autopilot" if you can't reduce concentration by some degree? If Tesla say you require 100% attention even when on autopilot then it's effectively pointless.

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Which? calls for compensation for users hit by Windows 10 woes

Craig 2
Trollface

"In the survey, conducted in March and so before the excitement of the April 2018 Update"

You need to proof-read your articles better, that's not how you spell "excrement"...

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Security execs must prep for post-Brexit cyber challenges – report

Craig 2

"If there's no law saying that I don't have to say hello to my neighbour, it doesn't stop me from saying hello?"

A better metaphor would be the new neighbour joining your local neighbourhood watch group, then saying it's a load of crap and leaving. The rest of the group might not feel inclined to share information with him after being given the finger....

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Monday: Intel touts 28-core desktop CPU. Tuesday: AMD turns Threadripper up to 32

Craig 2

"Whether Intel was trying to spoil AMD's announcement, or vice versa, it doesn't really matter: what matters is that someone is putting pressure on monopoly giant Intel, forcing it to innovate in the desktop world rather than burn millions of dollars on trendy side projects it later abandons or neglects."

This here is why I love AMD, who cares what they produce* as long as they keep Intel (relatively) honest.

*I love AMD as much as the next person, no fanboi downvotes please ;)

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Hear that? Of course it's Indiegogo's deadline for a Vega+ whooshing by

Craig 2

Re: It's almost as though crowdfunding is a terrible idea

Isn't that what venture capitalists do on a much grander scale though? (Think Elon Musk / Tesla type funding)

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SpaceX flings SES-12 satellite into orbit, but would-be lunar tourists should probably unpack

Craig 2

Re: "wrestling with an uncooperative antenna"

"The Russians are still using AE-35s?"

That particular piece of hardware had a 100% service record...

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Help, I'm being held prisoner in a security camera testing factory. So please read this...

Craig 2

Re: Missing vital information

"Does the camera have an accessible standards based video stream"

Indeed, anything that says you need to use their app is a big no-no. Built in obsolescence which may be realized in as little as a year and almost certainly within the lifetime of the hardware...

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Facebook caught up in court battle with Amazon and pals over 'ageist job ads' that targeted young

Craig 2

Re: Slam dunk

"Faecebook itself is becoming increasingly an old farts platform anyway as the one see it as very uncool and smart people see it as a place for fuckwits."

Which demographic are people that think puerile word puns are clever?

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Craig 2

Re: Slam dunk

"Advertising in a teen mag is still visible to other people if they choose to look."

Yea, but the 40+ bloke probably won't make it to the interview when he says "I saw your ad in Sweet 16 magazine".

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The great wearables myth busted: Apps never, ever mattered

Craig 2

Re: This was always the case.....

Sorry but I used to mock my mate continuously about his MS Band. Always rebooting it, tiny battery life using GPS, back to be repaired multiple times.... Maybe he was just unlucky but I wouldn't have touched one. It did have a nice screen though :)

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Craig 2

Garmins are built for a purpose (fitness tracking) and generally perform it extremely well. That's what I want from a device - best suitability & performance for my particular need. I wonder what the user 'need' for the number 1 smartwatch brand is?

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Microsoft patches problematic OS to deal with SSD woes

Craig 2

So now fixing a previous fuckup counts as good news for Windows 10!? Bit like the captain saying the plane is crashing but the good news is we'll be landing early...

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DRAMA ON MARS: Curiosity bot fires laser at alien metal object

Craig 2

Re: 'Egg Rock isn't unique'

"truly unique, totally unique or exceptionally unique."

I too have a pet hate of the common misuse of "unique". It's either unique or it isn't. You can't have "very unique" or "super unique" etc etc

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Open justice FTW! El Reg fought the law – and El Reg won

Craig 2
Trollface

"Midlands-based reseller Aria Technology "

Really? They're based in Longsight, Manchester

That IS the midlands.....

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Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

Craig 2

Re: Did I read that right...

I wouldn't let my kettle rely on the internet, never mind door locks. 3 hours without a cup of tea and I might kill someone!

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Blighty: If EU won't let us play at Galileo, we're going home and taking encryption tech with us

Craig 2

Re: Fucking Brexit

Indeed, Europe already hates us (as proved by Eurovision every year) and the UK, or whatever remains of it in a decade, will be avoided like the plague. /sigh

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Scissors cut paper. Paper wraps rock. Lab-made enzyme eats plastic

Craig 2

Re: Ringworld Calling...

Yep, the scariest word in that article is "accidentally". What else are they accidentally creating and what are the odds it might not be controllable... Lots of sci-fi references on similar stories but I like Michael Critchon's "The Andromeda Strain" in which an alien bacterium is brought back to earth and mutates rapidly. At one stage it likes dissolving rubber...

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The law of run Nintendo consequences: Sega brings out mini Mega Drive / Genesis

Craig 2

Totally missed opportunity on the name.... "Mini Mega" sounds much cooler IMHO :)

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'Fat boy' flies: ISRO's heavy rocket fails to blow up

Craig 2

Re: And the UK gives "aid" to this country.

"Yes, some will say, there are parts of India that are poor; but there are parts of the UK that are poor too!"

Parts of India are poor because they don't have water, electricity or basic sanitation. Parts of the UK are poor because they spend their benefits on scratchcards and booze...

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Uber JUMPs, slurps San Francisco bike biz

Craig 2

Re: Anything goes if its green

"For a small fee she'll also recover others' nets."

The net gains of a scheme like that could be huge....

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Huawei P20 Pro: Triple-lens shooter promises the Earth ...

Craig 2

Re: Smartphones are SOOOO over

Please tell me that whenever you buy a new smartphone your purchasing decision is based on the thickness of the camera lens.

So given 2 phones, one with a grossly protruding lens and one flush it wouldn't be a purchase factor for you? Of course nobody cares about the lens itself, but they DO care about having the thinnest phone for whatever illogical reasons...

As close as possible is a funny expression. We - of planet Earth - are as close as possible to the Andromeda Galaxy. Not close enough, though.

A nonsensical comparison and factually incorrect... We will be closer to the Andromeda galaxy tomorrow and in a few billion years we will be a little too close for comfort assuming anyone is around to see that. However your smartphone will probably take great pictures by then ;)

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Craig 2

Re: Smartphones are SOOOO over

Hence the review focusing on one of the main areas ripe for continued improvement. Battling the laws of physics to make a lens <5mm thick perform as close as possible to as a dedicated camera. The closer they get, the more people will forgo the camera. *

* Before the indignant replies flood in, I said MORE... I didn't say YOU, Mr "I always carry my 15 lenses and assorted accessories" professional photographer. The best camera is the one you have with you, for most people that is a phone.

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Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

Craig 2

Re: Yeah... Right

Random anecdote on how bad cyclists are...

Random anecdote on how bad motorists are...

This is a random anecdote on predictable anecdotes given the subject.

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SpaceX blasted massive plasma hole in Earth's ionosphere

Craig 2

As the doctor said, getting it up is fairly easy, keeping it up takes much more effort ;)

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Recording Industry Ass. says vinyl and CD sales beat digital downloads

Craig 2

Re: Hours wasted

It took you 2 hours to go right-click copy - right click paste & walk away?

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Craig 2

Yea it's all great! CDs & records are still relevant if you take out the overwhelmingly dominant consumption method...

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Five things you need to know about Microsoft's looming Windows 10 Spring Creators Update

Craig 2
Trollface

According to the poll, around 33% intend to have Linux on their next PC, this really WILL be the year of the Linux desktop!!

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British Level 4 driverless pods are whizzing along ... er, a London path

Craig 2

I think the article touches on one very big problem with autonomous vehicles in public places: Human traffic is going to be MUCH more aggressive to robots than they would to other people because "oh it's programmed to give way". Just like self-important people tend to hog roads, pavements etc etc. Of course everyone feels much more important than machines so they will need to maneuver with extreme caution whilst trying to second-guess people's intentions.

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Nest reveals the first truly connected home

Craig 2

Re. I like the idea of a smart home but I don't want the IoT internet angle....

Precisely.

Integrated & connected home good....

Integrated & connected to everything else Google already know about you BAD.

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Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

Craig 2

Re: Finders Keepers

"Does European law on dumping of unwanted products trump international space agreements?"

Surely they can be done for not following WEEE recycling regulations at the least...

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Huawei guns for Apple with Mac-alike Matebook X

Craig 2

"the usual garbage of discarded kids' toys emptied over your desk."

This is so true, you get a professional spec PC and turn it on to be greeted by incredibly condescending stuff like "we're so happy you're here" and "we're making things great for you" and then the start menu appears full of fisher-price colourful building blocks.

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A tiny Ohio village turned itself into a $3m speed-cam trap. Now it has to pay back the fines

Craig 2
Joke

Re: "observe the speed limit"

"If all the speedsters on UK motorways were appropriately fined it would bring in quite a bit of money"

Easier to just add a tax to all BMWs and AUDIs at point of sale...

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Craig 2

Re: A novel suggestion

How about not letting people borrow your car who break the law, or at least asking them to respect your property? Your car, your responsibility.

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No Windows 10, no Office 2019, says Microsoft

Craig 2

Re: Fear...

"Fear will keep the local systems in line.

Fear of having to think even a little."

Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed.

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Bluetooth 'Panty Buster' 'smart' sex toy fails penetration test

Craig 2

"Worse yet, an attacker might be able to remotely turn on the device without the consent of the its owner"

So this could be prosecuted as sexual assault? Plus of course the other charge of hacking...

Perversely, a remote attacker could end up with a harsher sentence than a physical assailant.

It's a crazy, crazy world....

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Europe slaps €997m antitrust fine on Qualcomm

Craig 2

Re: Great.

"Apple as well as Android OEMs would have been paying less on average per phone for them."

What the hell has component cost got to do with the price Apple sell their phones for?

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Airbus issues patch to prevent A350 airliner fuel tanks exploding

Craig 2

Re: Stop <> prevent

You can't stop something unless it has started...

They have not started exploding.... QED

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Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Do you drive a car?

"Just as well you don't have a job that requires you to drive then.."

He could be an emergency ambulance driver and his original statement would still be true...

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UK.gov puts Suffolk 7-year-old's submarine design into production

Craig 2

"A whole generation of kids love submarines, thank to Octonauts."

We've got a fishy situation!

Always makes me snigger...

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Up, up and a-weigh! Boeing flies cargo drone with 225kg payload

Craig 2

Re: Other uses

My very first thought! Look out for incoming viral videos where some YouTube idiot transports themselves across town....

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Craig 2

"reasonably arguable with a straight face. "

Having pranked my family/kids regularly, I can argue some pretty crazy shit with a straight face :)

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SpaceX delivers classified 'Zuma' payload into orbit

Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Mars Orbit?

Years from now if that Tesla hits a Mars mission craft, it will be blamed on a Tesla autopilot failure!

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Maplin Electronics CEO ups stakes for steak house

Craig 2

"differentiated technology retailer"

Brilliant way to say "we sell tat nobody wants" (at inflated prices)

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Peak smartphone? iPhone X flunks 'supercycle' hopes

Craig 2

A new SE may be coming...

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Please, please, c'mon, just... please, pretty please, just, like, please use our AI – Microsoft

Craig 2

"PS: Before anyone gets upset we're being too dismissive and skeptical of Microsoft, just think of us as an antidote to the cynical laundering of the Redmond software giant, which fields its CEO, Satya Nadella, out to cosy US cable TV."

El Reg scared of commentards? Have you gone soft for Christmas?!

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Someone tell Thorpe Lane in Suffolk their internet sucks – they're still loading the page

Craig 2

Re: Pearls to Pig(eons)

What's the bandwidth of an unladen swallow?

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Microsoft emergency update: Malware Engine needs, erm, malware protection

Craig 2

You couldn't make this stuff up....

That's the beauty of it: with Microsoft you don't need to!

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Remember the 'budget' iPhone SE? Apple plans an update – reports

Craig 2

I was hoping they would update it eventually, I still use my 5S heavily but it's beginning to groan under the strain now. I almost bought an SE but held out for just this eventuality.. The form factor does everything (I need) and is more convenient to carry everywhere than it's more bulky successors.

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