* Posts by Peter Clarke 1

231 posts • joined 30 Jun 2009

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Thomas the Tank Engine lobotomised by fat (remote) controller

Peter Clarke 1
Go

Trouble Shooters

I remember seeing a documentary series about the rescue team for when things (inevitably) go wrong. They managed it with only five vehicles. They worked all over the world so were truly International. It was FAB.

Time for me to GO! ??

6
0

US cops can't keep license plate data scans secret without reason

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Re: LAPD vs LASD

The Sheriffs ride around on horses and wear big Stetsons. (Yes, I know McCloud was from Arizona and worked in NY)

PS I don't have any plans to travel to LA any time soon

0
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FUKE NEWS: Robot snaps inside drowned Fukushima nuke plant

Peter Clarke 1
Holmes

Re: Grainy images?

Just give it to your fave TV Investigation Team and 'someone they know at NASA' will be able to get a perfect 10x12 photo of the perp from 4 pixels

17
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Microsoft's Azure chief: What's good for cloud is good for on-premises too

Peter Clarke 1
Joke

Re: Guthrie's Alive!

What do you expect when he wears a red shirt??

4
0

China cyber-security law will keep citizens' data within the Great Firewall

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Re: data on Chinese citizens – including personal information [etc] can only be kept within China.

Too late- the USA has the monopoly on applying its laws to the rest of the World

3
2

Industrial Light & Magic: 40 years of Lucas's pioneering FX-wing

Peter Clarke 1

Original 'Original Trilogy'

To see the theatre releases you need the 2008 6 dvd set with the Skywalker/Vader sabre fight in blue

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Star-Wars-The-Original-Trilogy-DVD-2008-6-Disc-Set-Box-Set-/401333446780?hash=item5d7156687c:m:m6C6GAoZqeM0XE0WF41XRsQ

0
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Head of US military kit-testing slams F-35, says it's scarcely fit to fly

Peter Clarke 1
Alert

Re: de Havilland Mosquito?

The Mosquito also shares a failing with the F35- tropical temperatures and humidity caused the glue holding it together to fail

13
1

Ever visited a land now under Islamic State rule? And you want to see America? Hand over that Facebook, Twitter, pal

Peter Clarke 1
Alert

Does It Go Far Enough??

Logically, this does not go far enough. Direct entry to IS controlled areas is difficult and lot go from a porous border of a neighbouring country. Surely they should be included as well?

6
0

Van Allen surprise: fewer nasty particles than NASA expected

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Obligatory Film References

I thought the Van Allen belts were destroyed by the SeaView crew in the 60s???

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyage_to_the_Bottom_of_the_Sea

4
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SAP eyes up BT's biz ahead of £550m EE integration

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Re: B.O.B.

If it's the PO/BT Tower then the joke reference must be Kitten Kong

https://youtu.be/E07OsHiTSyU

1
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Kylie withdraws from Kylie trademark fight, leaving Kylie to profit from… existing?

Peter Clarke 1
FAIL

Best Plan

Maybe we should visit Kylie the Youngers website and then leave negative reviews for not mentioning the Real Kylie. Oh, hold on a mo ........

0
0

God save the Queen... from Donald Trump. So say 1 million Britons

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Let Hime Come

Maybe HRH can pull a 'sickie' with a heavy cold and let Charles and Phillip do the honours

1
1

General Electric plays down industrial control plant vulnerabilities

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Re: "The film readers may want to look for is "Zero Days"."

It's a deliberate mistake insisted upon by the security services. If anyone could find it then the terrorists would use it. They are only doing it for our 'best interest' Duh!

2
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TV anchor says live on-air 'Alexa, order me a dollhouse' – guess what happens next

Peter Clarke 1

Comedy Material From the 70s

I remember it as a sketch from Dave Allen on the BBC in the 70s with a voice controlled chair being demonstrated to a friend

feet up- good

back down - good

Well, bugger me- Noooo!!!!!!!

6
0

Routes taken by UK prosecutors over supply of modified TV set-top boxes

Peter Clarke 1

Naive thought???

Why are they not going after Google, MS, Dell, HP etc as a PC has the same capability of accessing copyrighted material???

0
0

NASA plans seven-year trip to Jupiter – can we come with you, please?

Peter Clarke 1

Obligatory Film References

Why is Psyche 16 so bright??? My God, its full of Stars!!!!

HAL, deploy the Multi-spectral scanner.

I'm sorry, Dave, I can't let you do that. Dayyyzee, Dayyzee ...

3
0

NASA – get this – just launched 8 satellites from a rocket dropped from a plane at 40,000ft

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

StarGazer

We have a choice of two comments

1 One of Picards vessels before the Enterprise - 'Make it so, Number One'

OR

2 A classic Rainbow track - Looks like the wizard managed to get the right wings this time

5
0

Body cams too fragile for Canadian Mounties – so they won't be used

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

RCMP Documentary

I used to watch a documentary about the RCMP= it was called Due South,

Do they still use deaf albino wolves?????

6
0

Mark Zuckerberg is dead – Facebook confirmed

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

One Confirmed Fatality

The IT career of whoever the investigative committee find responsible- probably a low/middle level drone rather than a higher manager.

Rule 1- don't make the boss look silly

2
0

Smoking hole found on Mars where Schiaparelli lander, er, 'landed'

Peter Clarke 1

It's WAR!

Who you gonna call??

1 Duck Dodger of the 24 1/2 century to deal with Marvin the Martian

OR

2 Captain Scarlet to deal with the Mysterons

4
0

NFL is No Fondleslab League: Top coach says he'd rather use pen and paper than Surface tab

Peter Clarke 1

It Sucks

Bill managed to keep a lid on it- I dread to think what Jim Mora would have said

https://youtu.be/Tie0tz7jGDI

0
0

Spinal Tap’s bass player sues former French sewer

Peter Clarke 1
Flame

Not The Drummer

Good job he didn't play the drummer or he might be involved in a nasty 'accident' that would halt the legal proceedings

4
0

Smell burning? Samsung’s 'Death Note 7' could still cause a contagion

Peter Clarke 1
Alert

New Employers

Those ex-VW engineers came with glowing references. Maybe they shouldn't have been in charge of the testing

2
0

Bees bring down US stealth fighter

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Old Joke

Did they collect their waste to fuel the aircraft- everyone knows vehicles run better on BeePee

Coat, exit, now

11
0

Larry Ellison, Oracle and litigation: A business that's not a business

Peter Clarke 1
Angel

Truth In Error

"Litigation is part of doing business, but aside from God Larry Ellison is possibly the only person at Oracle who knows the true size of Oracle's total legal bill over these last years."

It's probably how Larry thinks of himself but there should be a comma separating him from being a deity

9
0

Thief dresses as Apple Store drone, walks off with $16,000 in iGear

Peter Clarke 1

Can they take a leaf from the car world- break them for spares and still make a profit?? How much for a genuine unused screen assembly??

5
0

North Korea clones Facebook, forgot to change default creds

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Choices, Choices

Who would you trust least with your personal data???

www.facebook.nk or www.facebook.com ???

2
0

Streaming now outsells downloads – Recording Industry Ass. of America

Peter Clarke 1

Streaming- a question

Do you pay per track or for a period of time? Is the majority of a subscription not used? A comparison of tracks purchased/downloaded would be interesting

0
0

Flying Scotsman attacked by drone

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Maybe it wasn't a drone?

Hmmm, anybody know if Dick Dastardly and Mutley are employed at the moment???

5
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US Marines kill noisy BigDog robo-mule for blowing their cover

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Cammoflage

I guess Spot was painted in jungle stripes to hide it.

Getting my field jacket now- its the one with the cracker jokes in the pocket

0
0

Death Stars are a waste of time – here's the best way to take over the galaxy

Peter Clarke 1

Suggested Viewing

Probably not the first version but check out the Replicators in Stargate SG1. Small building blocks that can join together to form more complex structures, stripping planets of resources as they go. Probably at their most scary as swarms of insectoids/arachnids. Thank heaven for primitive projectile waepons

12
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Japan unveils net-wielding police drones for air patrol

Peter Clarke 1

New Game Show

Robot Wars is soooo last decade. TV Execs are drawing up the plans now

Craig Charles, Meh! Philiipa in her leather jeans, yes please!!

0
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Scandal-hit Toshiba faces investor sueball over accounting woes

Peter Clarke 1

Management Culture

Olympus all over gain??

5
0

Mr Grey, the Russian hacker who helped haul in 1.2 billion logins

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Why am I Mr Grey?

Are they sure it's one man? A group of 50 maybe??

1
0

China, for one, welcomes our ROBOT SPACE ANT overlords

Peter Clarke 1
Devil

Have they not seen the film Red (!) Planet or the New Captain Scarlet episode RATT Trap to see what happens when AMEE or RATT go out of control???

0
0

How much do UK cops pay for Microsoft licences? £30 a head or £137? Both

Peter Clarke 1
Unhappy

Making a Living

Hey, how's a guy to make an honest(?) living when people start comparing prices and asking for transparency for what they're getting for their money???

10
0

Spirit of the Ghost: Taking a Rolls-Royce Wraith around France

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Best Roller

The only stylish Roller came in pink and had six wheels. It also had quite a lot of unusual extras.

Home, Parker

Yus, M'lady

4
0

Ad-blocking super-weapon axed by maker for being TOO effective

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Re: Peace?

He won't bother with Understanding because, to quote the Beatles, 'Loov is all you need'

5
0

Camera-carrying DOLPHIN SPY caught off Gaza

Peter Clarke 1

Arms (Flipper ?) Race

Having honed their tactics by using the Red Alert training simulator, Hamas are now ready to deploy their giant squid against the Israeli Navy.

We will annihilate them!

0
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Donald Trump dumps on Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Trump's entire campaign...

Don't forget to throw in a pinch of Machete

0
1

All hail Ikabai-Sital! Destroyer of worlds and mender of toilets

Peter Clarke 1
Facepalm

Piddling In The Sink

One would hope you have enough class and breeding to remove the crockery first

4
0

How much of one year's Californian energy use would wipe out the drought?

Peter Clarke 1

Cadillac Desert

Having just read Cadillac Desert by Marc Reisner I can tell you the problem would be less severe if they hadn't badly drained the aquifer. It would've made a great emergency resource. They already have to desalinate (due to over-extraction) the Colorado before it leaves the US and heads into Mexico. All major rivers in S California have at least one dam for reservoirs, some causing major environmental change including nearly killing the salmon fishing industry. Some hare brained schemes have been put forward for water from the Columbia River or even Canada's rivers.

2
0

Reg top tip: Don't have the same name as someone else if you use Facebook's Instagram

Peter Clarke 1

Simple Test

Surely for the Snr Iniesta to have a 'simple' username with no digit attached it must have been set up a while ago. The footballer has an 8 suffix so his must have been set up later. A simple check of account dates should've raised questions. Have accounts 1-7 been similarly grabbed??

2
0

Self/Less: Crap science, eyebrow acting, and immortality for the 1%

Peter Clarke 1

Mix'n'Match

Robocop (and others) for the flashbacks

Dolls House (Joss Whedon TV) for the brain transfer

0
0

Houston Astros 'hack' row: St Louis Cardinals fire their chief scout

Peter Clarke 1

Standard National IT Practice

The Astros have several ex-OPM employees and used their security protocols. I mean, its not as if a government department would be lax about security. Oh, wait ....

0
0

US police to throw big balls in criminals' faces

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Unlisted Add On

A small explosive device triggered by an accelerometer when the bad guy kicks it out of his way

1
1

OPM data breach: Looking at you, China! National Intelligence head stares out Beijing

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Look for major outsourcing real soon now

In a department somewhere in the US Civil Service.

When I told you to cut costs in the Employee Administration Budget I didn't mean use overseas contractors. Now go and get that DVD back from the guys you sent it to before anyone notices.

3
0

Hey Apple - what's the $178bn for? Are you down with OTT?

Peter Clarke 1

Old TV Show

If OTT is making a comeback from the 80s will Chris Tarrant still be hosting it??

Betcha doing the full body poses- Google/youtube if you don't remember it

2
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Jaguar F-Type: A beautiful British thoroughbred

Peter Clarke 1

Paint Contract

I want to be in with the supplier for British Racing Green paint. At £700 extra it must be good stuff

1
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Antarctic boffins hope stratospheric gravity wave hunter returns to Earth

Peter Clarke 1
Alien

Obligatory Film Referenece

Searching for some THING buried in the Antarctic- what could possibly go wrong?

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