* Posts by Swarthy

1804 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

Amazon Key door-entry flaw: No easy fix to stop rogue couriers burgling your place unseen

Swarthy
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Re: Flawed

A better fix would be to have the camera hard-wired to the network. I can't imagine that a de-auth flood could unplug a cable.

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Help desk declared code PEBCAK and therefore refused to help!

Swarthy
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Devil

Re: PICNIC

I usually diagnosed it as a hardware problem: a nut loose on the keyboard.

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US authorities swallow security-free script for pill that knows when you're off your meds

Swarthy
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Joke

Re: That's a mighty big pill!

Maybe a suppository.

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Swarthy
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Re: Biocompatibility (was: Insurance)

From my understanding, the pill itself doesn't contain the BT stack, it contains a certain substance ("minerals" is the term used in most reporting) that the sensor patch can detect, and the patch handles the processing and BlueToothing.

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What is DJI Terra? Mystery builds over Chinese biz's trademark

Swarthy
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Joke

Re: Maybe...

Oooh! A remote-controlled hovercraft, that can automatically empty the eels?

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Universal basic income is a great idea, which is also why it won't happen

Swarthy
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Boffin

"As a historical example, the Roman Republic introduced a universal basic income for all Roman citizens: Within a couple of decades the Republic - which was centuries old, and had become the greatest power in history - collapsed and became and Empire: Free Roman citizens became subjects of an all-powerful monarch."

Actually more to do with an antagonistic military mindset, and allowing very rich private individuals to control and own large standing armies (certainly in the case of Julius Cesar).

I believe it also had to do with all of their drinking water being carried through "plumbum"(lead) and the associated heavy metal toxicity which can cause violent\aggressive behaviour, reduced intelligence, memory loss, headaches, and insomnia.

Nero and Caligula may both have just been suffering from particularly bad lead poisoning.

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Google aims disrupto-tronic ray at intercoms. Yes, intercoms

Swarthy
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Devil

Re: Does it drag them out of bed?

Rather than dragging, I prefer the idea of frozen marbles.

Store marbles in the freezer, and pour them into the bed when needed. The kid can't roll away from them, and they don't get the sheets wet. And once the kid is up, you can collect the marbles and put 'em back in the freezer for the next time.

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Edgelords

ODFO

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Swarthy
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Facepalm

Re: Xerox photcopiers

"who knew the secret codes of the A wash C wash 1 wash all on the rotary mechanical dial."
Usually printed on the underside of the washer lid.

Right where you couldn't read it and operate the dial at the same time? Sounds about right.

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Uni staffer's health info blabbed in email list snafu

Swarthy
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Re: Sorry, is this El Reg or "Take a Break" ????

That's why the University asked everyone who received the e-mail (probably in a follow-up mail (and please, for the love of everything, not a "forward" with the original attached/appended)) to not read it, delete it, and delete any copies. Because asking is actually more effective than the Recall, and that is horrifying.

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US domestic, er, foreign spying bill progresses through Congress

Swarthy
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Black Helicopters

Re: Disappointing, and there is no way Trump is going to veto this bill

How is that in any way consoling?

There is a certain zen-like peace in the complete resignation to fate. Yes, it's going to suck, but there is actually fuck-all you can do. Kind of like falling off of a very high waterfall, you can try to swim back up the falls, or you can relax and enjoy the scenery; either way you'll end up smeared across the rocks on the bottom.

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Facebook's send-us-your-nudes service is coming to UK, America

Swarthy
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Joke

Re: Can I get a job?

"It's $100 a week."

"Isn't that a bit low?"

"Yeah, but it's all I could afford."

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AMD, Intel hate Nvidia so much they're building a laptop chip to spite it

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: 'a series of slides that trashed AMD'

Corporate negging?!

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So, tell us again how tech giants are more important than US govt...

Swarthy
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Re: Interesting stuff

The other goal of the ads was to be divisive. They ran ads on both sides' issues. Putting the Cheeto-in-Chief into the office, was most likely a secondary "nice-to-have" the primary goal was to get both sides spitting mad, and so fueled by their own echo chambers that "the other guys" would be perceived as worse than Russia.

Let us tear ourselves apart, and Russia saves on bombs and casualties. (It's the same thing the Intelligence Agencies have been doing for 50 years)

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El Reg assesses crypto of UK banks: Who gets to wear the dunce cap?

Swarthy
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Pint

Re: It's not a problem, it's an opportunity

Do you mean ExpertSexchange?

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Donald, YOU'RE FIRED: Rogue Twitter worker quits, deletes President Trump's account

Swarthy
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Thumb Up

Re: Twitter should stick to the T&C and ban the orange twerp.

What they should be called instead is "guidelines regarding things that tend to make us not like you and get you kicked out, unless we happen to really like you in which case never mind, you can do whatever the fuck you want for as long as you feel like it".
A nice, short phrase like "US Justice System"?

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Judge: You're getting an Apple data centre and you're going to like it

Swarthy
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WTF?

Badgers?!

I would have thought that they'd be more concerned with Trevelyan's corn?

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Car insurers recoil in horror from paying auto autos' speeding fines

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: From the department of stupid ideas

"As for wrong side of the street Chloe, you could just park on the other side to avoid trailing cables."

Chloe actually mentioned the wrong side of the pavement. Unless you are going to drive the car up on to the kerb, that would require leads to lay across the walking path and pose a tripping hazard.

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Swarthy
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Angel

Re: Why should the car be 'slow to respond'

"A human driver will probably be able to identify a speed limit sign largely obscured by vegetation, for example, I'm less confident that AVs will be so clever."

In that case, the sign-posting authority should be liable for the speeding ticket. If I can be held liable for not maintaining my self-driving car, than they should be liable for not maintaining the signage.

Hmm, we may need a "Foolish Optimism" Icon.

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Swarthy
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Pirate

Speed Traps

The bit about "Smart Roads" changing the speed and the Autoauto not being aware/adjusting in time reminds me of a bit of shadiness I heard about in the South-East US; wherein small towns had speed limit signs set in concrete filled buckets and move them around to where they wouldn't normally be - sometimes a bit behind the car they had just pulled over for "speeding".

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Is the FCC purposefully screwing up US school broadband projects?

Swarthy
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Was it that much different last administration?

Yes. Wheeler may have been a long-time CableCo employee, but as head of the FCC he seemed to take a great deal of joy in screwing them over: Net Neutrality, Ending the Cable Box Rental Ripoff, encouraging competition, etc.

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Interstellar space rock screams through Solar System

Swarthy
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Alien

Re: Interstellar space rock screams through Solar System

As we all know, "In space, no one can hear you scream"

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Boss put chocolate cake on aircon controller, to stop people using it

Swarthy
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Stop

There is no need to NOT be a dick about it.

Erm, I think the part where it's the Company Directors' junk would imply a good reason to not be a dick.

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AI bot rips off human eyes, easily cracks web CAPTCHA codes. Ouch

Swarthy
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Boffin

One Could argue....

Once could argue that Natural Intelligence is nothing more than pattern recognition with probabilistic generative models. One of the reasons why people see faces in so many things.

The core of NI is that we can recognize patterns of patterns (like noticing how many "faces" we, as a species, see in things that have no faces) and make predictions based on this recognition, including recognizing the pattern of how our predictions fail, and updating our models accordingly.

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Fines for crossing roads while TXTing enacted in Honolulu

Swarthy
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If it was a digital camera, than yes. If it were film, than you'd be in the clear; the key being "digital photographic device".

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Canucks have beef with Soylent as to whether or not it's a real meal deal

Swarthy
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Joke

Re: Hueyyyyyyyyy…

And you have to wonder who thought that Huel would be a good name? It sounds exactly like the noise you make when you throw up prolifically after consuming something utterly disgusting or having had too much to drink!
There goes my proposed name for my soon-to-be-developed weight-loss meal replacement postponement goop.

I was going to call it "Hurk" with the slogan of "Lose weight by eating like a (baby) bird!"

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Japan finds long, deep tunnel on the Moon

Swarthy
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Re: Just supposing everyone goes through with it...(Obligitory)

But what are they going to _do_ up there?

Go swimming

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You can't find tech staff – wah, wah, wah. Start with your ridiculous job spec

Swarthy
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Re: Over-selling a company

When a company makes a big deal about on-site gyms, lunches delivered, and everyone hanging out at the bar just down the street; I tend to interpret that as "you will never see your family again, because you'll be working 80 hour/weeks."

What good is getting paid well if you never get a chance to spend it?

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NYC cops say they can't reveal figures on cash seized from people – the database is too shoddy

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Spent on hookers and blow

"They spent most of it on hookers and blow, and wasted the rest."

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Swarthy
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Pirate

Re: The reason for forfeiture laws

"The real reason for the law was the total incompetence of law enforcement back in the day of Al Capone."
The real reason for this law, is that if you take enough of someone's property, they don't have the funds to hire a lawyer to get it back or fight whatever charges the police will bring.

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Raspberry Pi burning up? Microsoft's recipe can save it and AI

Swarthy
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Alien

Re: What you really want is...

"... the heat so has to be dumped somewhere"
Simple: just bolt a sterling engine on the hot side, use it to spin a dynamo, and feed that into help power the Pi.

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No, the FCC can't shut down TV stations just because Donald Trump is mad at the news

Swarthy
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Re: He's right

Well...

Seeing that Pai is obviously in the pocket of large corporations, and broadcasters fit in that category, he would never shut them down because of anything that is not blatant criminal activity (and maybe not even then).

His first loyalty is to the back-handers and future "consultancy fees", his second is to his supposed boss. I think the American Consumer comes in on the loyalty list somewhere just above moldy radishes.

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Swarthy
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Joke

Re: Who asked for you to put your oar in?

Just barge into the conversation, to trireme-ing someone out for a shallow draft? That'll never sail in these sheets.

And would it keel you to use the proper Icon?

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The Google Home Mini: Great, right up until you want to smash it in fury

Swarthy
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Devil

But....

I want it to respond to "Hey Mickey!"

Just to see who sues first: Disney, or Toni Basil.

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Australian senator Pauline Hanson wants devilish scam calls to flash '666'

Swarthy
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Headmaster

Re: I propose another use for 666.

There is no pound key on my phone - £

I think you mean the hash key - #

I think you mean octothorpe.

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Huge power imbalance between firms and users whose info they grab

Swarthy
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Re: "huge effects on things like competition between companies"

I thought the customers' data is the product.

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Moon trumps Mars in new US space policy

Swarthy
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Alert

Re: Policy for Future American Leadership in Space

"indicative of a deeply rooted feeling of insecurity and paranoia in the American psyche."
That would actually explain a lot about where America is right now with regards to mass shootings, gun control debate, economics, driving habits, and interpersonal relations.

Oh! shit.

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Judge says US govt has 'no right to rummage' through anti-Trump protest website logs

Swarthy
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Re: I am still surprised that

And those who would help his >ahem< early separation from office along are even more disturbed by the thought of Pence taking over.

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US Senate stamps the gas pedal on law to flood America's streets with self-driving cars

Swarthy
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Re: It's those evil lawyers

We have two justice systems, the old one, and a new for-profit one run by corporations for their own benefits. It's the future libertarians always dreamed of.
Nightmares are dreams, too, ya' know.

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Dropbox thinks outside the … we can't go there, not when a box becomes a 'collection of surfaces'

Swarthy
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Facepalm

Dammit!

I just posted this in response to a post a bit further up.

Have an up-vote, and my curses.

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Swarthy
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Thumb Up

Re: was that a dare?

Oh, come on now, it wasn't that bad. The new font is a perfect counterpoint to the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the Vogonity of the marketeer's compassionate soul, which contrives through the medium of the logo structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into ... into ... er... Whatever it was the press release was about.

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Azure fell over for 7 hours in Europe because someone accidentally set off the fire extinguishers

Swarthy
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Flame

Re: Cost a pretty penny

Ah, but the beancounter(s) who were in the server room when the BOFH workmen set off the halon fire extinguishers will need more than clean trousers. In fact, they will need: some old carpet, a bag of quicklime, and a couple of spades.

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Schrems busts Privacy Shield wide open

Swarthy
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Re: Put the popcorn on please

Now - Salted or sweet popcorn?
Salted Caramel Corn?

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HPE coughed up source code for Pentagon's IT defenses to ... Russia

Swarthy
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доверяй, но проверяй

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Tech VCs sue Uncle Sam over President Trump's immigration chill

Swarthy
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Pirate

Trump Administration on one side, Venture Capitalists on the other...

I don't know who I want to lose.

But I think I know who will lose: Everyone else.

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Geoboffins claim to find oldest trace of life in rocks 4bn years old

Swarthy
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Re: I though God created the wurld in 1924.

1924 is a myth. It was all created last Tuesday.

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Bless their hearts: Democrats want $40bn to spruce up America's bumpkin broadband

Swarthy
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Vote Cthulhu!

If you vote for Cthulhu, He promises to eat you first!

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Toshiba: The memory saga is nearly behind us! Apple: Not so fast

Swarthy
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WTF?

Why is this so hard?

Apple has almost 14 times the available cash, and they could send it to Toshiba directly from their current tax-haven. I get (sort of) WDC's gripes about the sale; but once the winning bid was accepted, why are the bidding members having trouble scraping together the money? Are they that afraid of WDC rocking the boat?

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Welcome to the future: Bluetooth jackets you can only wash 10 times. Gee, thanks, Google

Swarthy
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Joke

Re: I thought I'd heard it all...

I can't be-weave you would make such a warped joke! Woof!

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Swarthy
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Pirate

Re: "now can someone show me the problem?"

Same as it always has been: idiots currently have too much money. Marketeers don't have enough of your money.

FTFY

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