* Posts by Swarthy

1978 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

Mayors having a right 'mare in Florida: Acting mayor arrested weeks after boss also arrested

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Oh, that was Baaaad.

All good, leave it with you...? Chap is roped into tech support role for clueless customer

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Thumb Up

Which ever is higher.

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WTF?

Re: "This will only take a second..."

I recently had a call from my father-in-law, wherein his girlfriend's wifi password had been changed. It seems that her "tech guy" (it might have been her son, I wasn't really paying attention) had set it up, including getting her phone on it, but some time later had been doing configuration, and now nothing could get on the wi-fi.

I told them to call her ISP for support, because I could guess at solutions, and have them poke at things until it either worked, or would never work again; but her ISP would (presumably) know the solution off-hand and if they needed a tech on-site, they would be a lot closer than 4 states away.

I actually got thanked for being helpful, because her tech guy would always tell "Don't call them, I'll fix it."

Facebook blames 'server config change' for 14-hour outage. Someone run that through the universal liar translator

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Re: Faecesbook.

Zuckerburg's not the devil, he's just a very naughty boy.

Science says death metal fans delightful and intelligent people, great at dinner parties

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Re: On the one hand

Minamina

Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it

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Re: Here's my contribution...

Brought to you by the grocer.

Microsoft 'welcomes dialog' over HoloLens use by the military, but doesn't have to listen

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Re: I'm not buying it

You wouldn't be subsidising a weapons system, the military would will be subsidising your gaming system.

While £10k is a lot of consumer money, it isn't a drop in the bucket compared to military (especially US Military) spend. And money is not the whole of the investment: the army will test, develop extensions, and request features for the AR systems they use. These bug-fixes and features (or watered-down versions thereof) will make their way into consumer products, and the military will have paid for all of the R&D; lowering the price you, as a consumer, will end up paying.

Blue Monday: Efforts to inspire teamwork with swears back-fires for n00b team manager

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Coat

Re: What's wrong with a good spoonerism?

Indeed, avaoid the swears, and go for the cunning linguistics!

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Re: Managers looking good!

I grew up calling that a "Rectal-Cranial Inversion" or RCI. RCIs frequently lead to "Non-linear waterfowl issues."

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

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Coat

Re: Watch out for geological samples

That wasn't gneiss!

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"Thorin sits down and sings about gold"

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WTF?

Fiberglass is industrial candyfloss?

Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah?

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Re: It's Just Pattern Recognition

My theory is that intelligence is pattern recognition. Well, pattern recognition and predictions, several layers deep.

We see a pattern and make a prediction based off of it, we then review the predictions for patterns, and predict our predictions, and note the patterns, and then we alter our future predictions to give a better pattern.

And then we see Jesus in a grilled cheese.

Should the super-rich pay 70% tax rate above $10m? Here's Michael Dell's hot take for Davos

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Boffin

Re: Rich Tax Paradox

What I was proposing is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike what we currently have.

I specified turnover rather than profit so that those complicated structures to obfuscate profits would no longer apply; and I specified median (sort the numbers, and grab the one in the middle), as opposed to mean (add all and divide by the count), so that to shaft the low-end employees, they would need to add more high-paying jobs, not just give the fat cats a raise. I was tempted to suggest that it should be evaluated on the mode (most frequently occurring number), but that could be a later change, once they have figured out how to game the median system.

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WTF?

Re: My wife and I set up a foundation about 20 years ago, and we would have contributed

He said he would have donated.... He never said that he did donate that much.

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"between £50,000 and £100,000 of debt" for a doctor?!

Damn, that's about what getting a Bachelor's will leave you with in the US.

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Alert

Re: Rich Tax Paradox

The 70% tax on the rich is fine with me. And up the corporate tax rate as well.
Better yet, set the corporate tax rate as a function of turnover vs. median (not mean) employee salary. The lower the median salary compared to turnover, the higher the tax rate. If you want to lower your tax bill, pay your employees better.

If you want to shaft your employees, then prepare to get shafted by the Gov't.

Florida man's deadliest catch forces police to evacuate Taco Bell

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Mushroom

Re: Here fishy fishy

Ah, the famed 30-second slum clearance.

I could think of a few candidates closer to the DoD that could use it. Baltimore, for example.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Candidate failed

Why do I get the feeling that I should not google "Full Cleveland" whilst at work

I can hear the light! Boffins beam audio into ears with freakin' lasers

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Re: Dancefloors?

I think decent baffles and audio engineering might be cheaper. Some decent electrostatic speakers would have a similar effect, but they might not be cheaper.

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Happy

For the folks that cannot wear headphones or earbuds; they may be interested in transducer (bone conductivity) headphones. They don't sit in/on the ears, but rather just in-front/behind them, so may not invoke the same sensory reaction.

'Nun' drops goat head on pavement outside Cheltenham 'Spoons

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Coat

Re: Pigs heads...

Intestines? That's utter tripe, and sounds offal!

...Unless it's filled with ground meat and spices, then it is far from the wurst you could do. Only a brat would disagree.

You heard the latest Chinese CRISPRs? They are real: Renegade bio-boffin did genetically modify baby twins

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Re: He has a tough name to work with...

What's on Second.

Big Red's big pay gap: $13,000 gulf between male and female Oracle staffers – reports

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Stop

Re: If you're white and male you'll never get it

@AC - I get what the point you are trying to make, but you are being overly pedantic (and this coming from a semi-rabid pedant), and abusing reductio ad absurdum to the point where you have created a strawman.

Yes, one definition of "discrimination" is "(a) Recognition and understanding of the difference between one thing and another." But that is a separate definition from "(b) unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories". Arguing that a==b is what lands you in strawman category.

I'm tempted to compare your argument with equating 'wind' as in "wind the string around the spool" with 'wind' as in moving air; but then I would be guilty of the self-same false equivalency.

Man drives 6,000 miles to prove Uncle Sam's cellphone coverage maps are wrong – and, boy, did he manage it

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Re: PSA

A bit of a Theresa/Teresa May situation?

I may check on this at home, or not.

US comms watchdog's industry-friendly 5G rules challenged by fresh legislation

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WTF?

$270/year?!

And the locality would have to maintain it? Jeez Pai, why not just go all out and call it $1/year, and the local gov't would have to send the receipt with a note saying "Thank you Sir, may I have another."

I'm not sure how densely 5G masts can/should be packed, but a municipality would need about 400 cell sites to pay for one tech to maintain 'em (and the tech's boss); and that's only if the maintenance is exclusively remote admin (no hardware or travel costs). In places like NYC or San Francisco, they would need a lot more sites if they want the tech to live within an hour of the city.

FSM help us if their were a city-wide weather event (lightning/ice storm or hurricane), the city would be rolling out 6G before the poor schleb finished replacing the damaged 5G masts.

Huawei’s elusive Mr Ren: We’re just a 'sesame seed' in a superpower spat

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WTF?

Re: Luddites = Non Sequitur

Speaking of non sequitur, you have you points E and F right next to each other. How can China be plotting a Technological Empire, without inventing or innovating?

I also feel the need to point out that Huawei is slightly ahead of other telecoms equipment providers as far as 5G stuff goes.

Dozens of .gov HTTPS certs expire, webpages offline, FBI on ice, IT security slows... Yup, it's day 20 of Trump's govt shutdown

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Re: Comparison

Add to that that they have to authorize back-pay, and the bill to do that got shot down by the Republicans in the Senate.

Also, what good is back-pay if you've been evicted?

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

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Happy

Re: Neutrality

Considering the Democrats did not take control of the House until January 2019, and the Shutdown started on 11 days prior, it would be wholly inappropriate to blame the shut-down on the Dems. Additionally, Trump has said - on National TV - that this is his shutdown.

So it must be Obama's fault.

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

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Paris Hilton

Re: Look out below!

If it falls on them, does that make them passers-on?

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files

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Re: scratch

"Always mount a scratch monkey."

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate

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Re: @swarthy

I took no offense at the "tea boy" comment, I simply didn't repeat it in reply. I even accept your use of "tea boy" to indicate mediocre code, they are still way ahead of HR Managers and Accountants who try to write their own "software".

You did not say "that great code is indistinguishable from mediocre code, until a situation where the mediocre code fails and the great code continues to work"; you said that there is no difference. I am pedantic, and whilst the former may have been what you meant, it is not what you said.

I count knowing what hardware you will be using (usually a given or derived requirement) and it's associated capabilities as a "known tolerance". EG: If you are writing embedded software, it will not tolerate using PHP.

Saying that software is not engineered is a bit like saying "we build bridges, we design bridges, but we sure as fuck don't engineer them." Now, one can slap a couple of planks across a stream and have a non-designed, non-engineered bridge, and one can copy pasta from Stack Overflow and create the equivalent software. Or one could research how much weight said bridge will have to carry, how long/wide the bridge must be, is it foot or vehicular traffic, etc and engineer a bridge with the requisite strength, give, and support.

I am not saying that all software is engineered, but you are saying that none of it is, and you are wrong.

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WTF?

Re: Great for this Engineer

Really!?

Use your handle to replace "known tolerances" with "Given and derived requirements" and "known materials and techniques" with "appropriate languages and algorithms", and see that you're spouting bollocks. Per your argument about scale, I have seen instances where that scale was 1 user; you may as well be saying that if no-one finds a bug/vulnerability, than said bug/vuln doesn't exist.

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

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Headmaster

Re: Easter you say?

The intent of that comment, as I read it, is that "This authoritarian nonsense will not be pushed by Brussels; our government will be completely free to push their own authoritarian nonsense, that they currently blame on Brussels."

Florida man stumbles on biggest prime number after working plucky i5 CPU for 12 days straight

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Trollface

Re: Mersenne

Nah, that's still covered by the original Godwin.

Um, I'm not that Gary, American man tells Ryanair after being sent other Gary's flight itinerary

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Alert

Re: Not everyone likes a +

... rejects the <email>+<website>@.... since that is a wonderful way to track who sold the address list.
And I think you just nailed down why so many reject the '+' in an e-mail address.

Bored IT manager automates Millennium Eve checks to ditch snoozing for boozing

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Thumb Up

Ah, Asocial Media. I like it!

Heard the one where the boss calls in an Oracle consultant who couldn't fix the database?

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Facepalm

Re: RE: Getting one over on the boss

The worst ones are where you are writing software to streamline some of the old processes, and show the initial design to be told "No, do it <stupid way> so it's more like our current procedure."

It's a requirement, so you do it their way, and when the application gets to User Acceptance Testing, ALL of the users make a comment like "Why did you do it that way, we don't do it that way. It would be better if it did it <originally designed way>."

Dutch boyband hopes to reverse Brexit through the power of music

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Thumb Up

Re: Slightly wrong.

I had to upvote, not because of your position (As a Septic, I have no right to care), but rather just for "omnishambollox".

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

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Re: Solution...

A petard is a small breaching charge-named after the French word for flatulence.

One could be hoist by their own petard by getting blown up by their own bomb (see "Scoring an Own-Goal") or by having such an intense discharge of gases that they are raised on a malodorous cloud of their own making.

2018 ain't done yet... Amazon sent Alexa recordings of man and girlfriend to stranger

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Gimp

Re: Reach out?

How else are you supposed to "touch faith" with out reaching out?

Where's that Depeche Mode Icon.... Close enough.

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

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Trollface

Re: Check the die

That's okay, provided you can remember where the spots used to be.

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

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Re: ...but may also run afoul of US laws forbidding cruel and unusual punishment

The trick here is that the Constitution prohibits "Cruel and Unusual Punishment". if It's done on a normal day-to-day basis (EG: several years waiting for execution, or loading up the charges so that a minor crime ends up with decades of prison time) then while it may be cruel, it is not also unusual.

This punishment, while unusual, is not particularly cruel; and should pass the sniff test.

Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-

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Re: re The bad old days

JANET?! Dammit!

Got any ecsta-sea? Boffins get octopuses high on MDMA – for science, duh

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Re: A rally of octopus

A wunch of Bankers?

A flash of inspiration sees techie get dirty to fix hospital's woes

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Re: Slightly similar situation.

Logitech Darkfield Mice would solve that problem. Mine will even work on clean (un-scratched/un-textured) glass.

Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

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Mushroom

Re: The boss owned up? Apologised, even?

A military leader doesn't want to find out that his / her people don't trust them at the time the bullets start flying all around the place..not because the troops may advance to the rear with haste, but because some of the bullets heading toward said office may originate from "friendly" weapons.

Not to mention that live grenades, minus their pins, make for lousy bedfellows.

Military troops can/will take a lot of grief, but if it gets to be too much, they tend to lodge their complaints ballistically.

Sur-Pies! Google shocks world with sudden Android 9 Pixel push

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Boffin

Re: Its all in the name

Maybe it's Android v.9.86.96

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The REAL challenge

Will be coming up with a proper dessert-themed "Q" word.

Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

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Re: How about ...

Return of the pop-under? I'll stick to Privacy Badger, thanks.

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