* Posts by Swarthy

1902 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Swarthy
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If, at first, you don't succeed

Use a bigger hammer

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Swarthy
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Boffin

Re: What an odd way of putting it!

I like "crafts'manship". Using the apostrophe to denote the dropped 'hu' from human.

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Map app chaps Waze add shout-at-sat-nav support for Ford cars

Swarthy
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Go

Re: Google

A comparison that I am blatantly stealing that describes Waze

  • Apple Maps: Enjoy this artisanally-crafted route ETA: 38 Minutes
  • Google Maps: Our Algorithms have Identified this best-path solution ETA: 32 Minutes
  • Waze: Drive through this dude's living room ETA: 26 Minutes

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Astroboffins spy the most greedy black hole yet gobbling a Sun a day

Swarthy
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Boffin

A clear case of a Rectal-Cranial Inversion.

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US Congress finally emits all 3,000 Russian 'troll' Facebook ads. Let's take a look at some

Swarthy
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Hypothesis C: A & B are both correct.

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Zookeepers charged after Kodiak bear rides shotgun to Dairy Queen

Swarthy
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Coat

Re: Sense of humor

'Tis an un-bearable shame!

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Where to find dark matter? $34m says go look 2km under Canada

Swarthy
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Thumb Up

Again looking for the Article Upvote button

Solely for the addition caption to the header image: "Oi! Vendor-land! Feel free to copy this design for a small-form-factor PC"

'Cause that would be a cool design for a SFF PC. - Almost as cool as the Lian Li Yacht case

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Astroboffins discover the stink of eggy farts wafting from Uranus

Swarthy
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Flame

Re: H2S isn't just a nasty smell

I think I vaguely remember reading about hydrogen telluride in Ignition!

"There are, after all, some chemicals that explode shatteringly, some that flame ravenously, some that corrode hellishly, some that poison sneakily, and some that stink stenchily. As far as I know, though, only liquid rocket fuels have all these delightful properties combined into one delectable whole."

Ah, no. The bit I was thinking of was discussing the use of butyl mercaptans as a rocket fuel. ...Apperantly the idea stunk.

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Hello DARKNESS, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again... about a 10,000-pixel alien-hunting camera

Swarthy
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Boffin

Also Noteworthy

The closer a pixel's size is to the wavelength of the light it is trying to captre, the more noise is introduced to the image. The goal of DARKNESS is to have as little noise as possible; thus they did not try to shrink the pixels in the sensor.

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Swarthy
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DARKNESS

Now that is a world-class Backronym!

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You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!

Swarthy
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Re: Laws and Lessons

Had it been said that "There is little doubt if what he did was against the law." I would agree whole heartedly. There is little doubt. The kid grabbed a bunch of files made publicly available (kind of like we all do when we download software updates); there is no law against that. It's on par with "Wearing a loud shirt in a built-up area".

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Net neutrality advocates freak out as lobbyists pull rug from California's draft net neutrality law

Swarthy
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WTF?

I'll make you an offer

Howabout we septics keep our politics limited to the Comments Sections of articles about US politics, and in exchange everyone else can stop whining about the Bootnotes articles.

Or, alternatively, if you don't want to read about USAian politics, don't click on articles about USAian politics. If you do, and then proceed to the Comments Section, you really ought to be prepared for septics discussing politics.

On the topic of Left v. Right name calling, I agree, and wish it would stop - Not just in Comments, but in general (in person, in the "news", in the houses of government, etc.).

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Congressional group asks FBI boss Wray to explain Apple lawsuit

Swarthy
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Re: Likely answers

"I'm sorry Senator, I cannot recall"

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'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

Swarthy
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Happy

Re: Dig

Ah, I still remember the smell and awesome patterns they made. We used the nuked discs as coasters.

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What a time to be alive: LG and Italian furniture-maker build smart sofa

Swarthy
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You won't

If the bog roll is smart enough to know its fate, it will escape or self-immolate before you ever get a chance to see it.

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Donkey Wrong: Arcade legend Billy Mitchell booted from record books amid MAME row

Swarthy
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Boffin

They don't

Per TFA, the requirement is an Original board, not Official. It further explains, in TFA, that even differing generations of the boards can have impacts on high scores. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if the high score submission required a Serial Number of the cabinet, or the revision number of the game board.

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Best thing about a smart toilet? You can take your mobile in without polluting it

Swarthy
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Coat

Re: Toilets which blow hot air...

Sounds like someone is blowing smoke....

If they modify it to sanitize the hot air with UV light, could they then be said to be "pumping sunshine up your ass?"

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Swarthy
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Re: The cuckoo clock

I forget who it was that said it, but somebody said that Germany's two greatest achievements were convincing the world that Beethoven was German and Hitler was Austrian
I had heard it as "Austria's greatest accomplishments were convincing everyone that Mozart was Austrian, and that Hitler wasn't."

But I don't know the original source, either.

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Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Ahhh...

I have been known to send people this link (XKCD) for how to become "computer smart"

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White House: Is it OK to hijack, shoot down, or snoop on drones? Er ... asking for a friend

Swarthy
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Pirate

Re: Law of unintended (but expected) consequences

Reference Maxim 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.

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They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

Swarthy
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In light of this

And other goings-on, I feel the need to ask, Does anyone know of any good Software Dev/Archetect gigs in any countries that are not sliding into a police state? Preferably where one could get by with English for the first yar or two while picking up the local tongue?

My preliminary resaerch makes me think Ireland may be a good choice, but I want to get inputs from the Commentariat to make a good descision.

Thanks in Advance.

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Sysadmin shut down the wrong server, and with it all European operations

Swarthy
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Stop

Re: Powerdown Kid?

"That's NOT what an I/O port is used for!"

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My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Reverse the polarity!

Ohm my God, that's a poor pun...
And you couldn't resist that one either? It's shocking what passes for humour in thes pages.

You should all be grounded.

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2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

Swarthy
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Terminator

Re: It's not the A.I. it's WHO OWNS the A.I....

Obligatory XKCD

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Super Cali goes ballistic, Starbucks is on notice: Expensive milky coffee is something quite cancerous

Swarthy
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Alert

Re: Remember MacDonald's Coffee?

Oh, Shit! I better cut back!

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Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: the judge who cried wolf?

Next Question: How does one put a Prop 65 Warning on air? 'Cause one of the most corrosive, flammable, carcinogenic, and damaging chemicals known to humanity is Oxygen.

I guess, in LA they could just carve it into the smog... but LA should have an exemption, as there isn't much O2 in the air.

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Donald Trump jumps on anti-tech bandwagon, gets everything wrong

Swarthy
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Re: El Reg gets it wrong again

If we are spouting off fevered theories about the death of Toys-R-Us, then I would point out that While salaries have remained stagnant for the past 10 years, inflation has been happening at about 3% per year. So each year your average wage-slave has been getting an annual 3% reduction in effective pay. (Not even counting insurance premiums and losses of benefits)

Toys-R-Us sells non-essential luxury goods (toys, in the common vernacular); historically when resources become scarce, luxuries are the first to go.

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User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Swarthy
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Re: Dangers of OCR and spellcheckers

Obligitory XKCD

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Swarthy
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Re: If I wrote spill chuckers...

"With all due respect" could also be "I believe you suffer from acute Dunning-Kruger syndrome" or "All of the respect that i feel you are due, which is none".

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Swarthy
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Re: "Mangers feature prominently in the Christmas story"

Of course, it doesn't hurt the UK side of things that they exported the majority of their Religious Nutters over to what would become the US.

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First there were notebooks. Then tablets. And now ‘book tablets’

Swarthy
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Go

Re: I wish Pratchett was still around -

I'd love to see an OOKlet with a realdragon 888 octarine core chip running Linux small gods edition.
That might not be too hard to arrange (If one has maybe a few million to fund development/production). I think this could be a Kickstarter!

First, you fork/Theme a MIPS-capable Linux distro as Small Gods Edition

Then you team up with Imagination Technologies to create a custom processing core that includes one(1) each M, I, and P class core bodged into one super-core, along with power management silicon, call it 111 Octrine.

Continue work with IT (or find another Foundry) to build a 8 Octrine super-core SoC called the realdragon. (8x111 octrine=888 octrine)

Slap the realdragon SoC and assorted gubbins into a medium-large tablet, load your Small Gods Linux on there, and call it an OOOKlet.

But be sure to never use the M-word around it, if you do, even bananas won't save you.

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Corking story: Idiotic smart wine bottle idea falls over, passes out

Swarthy
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Shoulda' had the promo code be LASTCALL. But, I guess the people in this company aren't the type to hang out at bars.

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BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

Swarthy
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Holmes

Re: Nearly similar situation...

When dealing with off-shore support, I often see the phrase "please revert" and "do the needful".
Why on earth do they feel the need to send an e-mail to request that you "do the needful"? I find that a couple of cups of coffee or lunch from the cheap dive down the way makes that e-mail quite redundant.

Speaking of which....

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Stock trader gets two years in prison for pumping up with Fitbit

Swarthy
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Re: Ugh...

I always read "bro" as "a sad twat who is now entirely caught in a web of his own making" (well, either that or "Self-centered Douche Bag"), so "Pharma Bro" seems entirely accurate.

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Jupiter has the craziest storms seen yet, say boffins

Swarthy
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Coat

Not the Eye of Sauron....

But I think I see Swindon's Magic Round-about.

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Fresh docs detail 10-year link between Geek Squad informers and Feds

Swarthy
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Re: Ethics

When I was doing PC repair in a small town in a past life, I always tried to avoid folders that looked like they may have contained porn. There was so little possibility of a positive outcome that it was not worth the risk of needing brain-bleach (especially as I was under-age and could not drink).

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Rhode Island proposes $20 porn tax. Er, haven't we heard this before?

Swarthy
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Re: Keep digging

Also, as a tax the Lottery is more a Tax on Optimists than it is a tax on those bad at math.

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Swarthy
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Pirate

Re: Keep digging

What I believe the OP is saying is that they promised Lottery funds would go to Schools/education, and it did for a time (however, they sneakily cut funding to match). After that time, when no-one was looking, they moved the money from schools to the General Fund, achieving the same end (More money for Gov't) without the risks involved with actually raising taxes.

And I wouldn't quote me on this, but the sneaky cuts to schools to "balance" the extra lottery money probably remained after the lotto money got diverted, so a double-raise in General Funding, without raising any voter hackles.

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April Fool: FCC finally bothers with Puerto Rico as chairman visits

Swarthy
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"the Fox news of its time, the Hearst newspapers."

I am so going to steal that - Have an up-vote in exchange.

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La, la, la, I can't hear you! Apple to challenge Bose's noise-proof cans

Swarthy
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Trollface

No Highs?

No Lows?

Must be Bose!

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Ex-Google recruiter: I was fired for opposing hiring caps on white, Asian male nerds

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: The trouble with geeks is that

Merit is unambiguous! And I have, without any doubt, more merit than anyone. Therefore, if you do not hire me, then you are not hiring on merit, but are being discriminatory!

*The opinions stated above are not the opinions of this poster, but are presented as a parody for the purposes of humour

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Swarthy
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Re: More PC BS

INTPs - Get the focus of the Introvert, the Perception to collate disparate (seemingly unrelated) aspects/projects, and all the benefits of the iNtuitive Thinker.

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Swarthy
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The Joys of the American Legal System

Discrimination ("reverse" or otherwise) is illegal, especially if you are using a quota system. However, it is a requirement to have quotas of minorities to prove that you are non-discriminatory.

The US Justice Dept should change their motto to Condemnabitur si feceris, si non condemnabitur

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Us? Reverse engineer HoloLens? No way, not us, nuh-uh – Magic Leap

Swarthy
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Pint

Which is patently ridiculous because Magic Leap is one of the finest, most honest and wholly truthful companies you will ever come across. Yes, we're being sarcastic.
This had me looking for the up-vote button in the article. Well Done!

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Oh honey! Oxfordshire abuzz with reports of a MEEELLION bees stolen

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: I think someone...

Using a Zig-bee interface?

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Washington (no, not that one) to pass hardcore net neutrality law: All ISPs in state must obey

Swarthy
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Big Brother

Not quite....

No, because of the Interstate Commerce Clause in the Constitution. Business that crosses state lines automatically becomes federal business.
As it is written, you are correct; however, as it has been interpreted, you are far to conservative.

After Wickard v. Filburn (Sorry about the Wiki link...) the interpretation is that if anything affects business that could cross state lines is federal business. IE: Growing your own garden can be federally regulated, because then you are not buying produce from other states.

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Martian microbes may just be resting – boffins

Swarthy
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FOOM?

These microbes wouldn't foom if you put five million volts through 'em!

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You can Ring my bell: Amazon pays ONE BEEEEELLION+ dollars for smart home upstart

Swarthy
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I am looking forward to further El Reg articles on Amazon's Ring-piece.

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Maker of addictive tech (Google) criticized by chairman of addictive tech maker (Alphabet)

Swarthy
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Meh

Poor Filtering Efforts

That for once do not negatively impact Scunthorpe. I guess if their name was Sgunthorpe, that would cause a breakage, but it wouldn't have run afoul of filters before now.

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4G found on Moon

Swarthy
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Re: At last I will be able to phone from home

I hope you have a high limit on your credit card, the roaming charges are likely to be ASTRONOMICAL!

TFTFY

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