* Posts by Swarthy

1954 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

Man drives 6,000 miles to prove Uncle Sam's cellphone coverage maps are wrong – and, boy, did he manage it

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: PSA

A bit of a Theresa/Teresa May situation?

I may check on this at home, or not.

US comms watchdog's industry-friendly 5G rules challenged by fresh legislation

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WTF?

$270/year?!

And the locality would have to maintain it? Jeez Pai, why not just go all out and call it $1/year, and the local gov't would have to send the receipt with a note saying "Thank you Sir, may I have another."

I'm not sure how densely 5G masts can/should be packed, but a municipality would need about 400 cell sites to pay for one tech to maintain 'em (and the tech's boss); and that's only if the maintenance is exclusively remote admin (no hardware or travel costs). In places like NYC or San Francisco, they would need a lot more sites if they want the tech to live within an hour of the city.

FSM help us if their were a city-wide weather event (lightning/ice storm or hurricane), the city would be rolling out 6G before the poor schleb finished replacing the damaged 5G masts.

Huawei’s elusive Mr Ren: We’re just a 'sesame seed' in a superpower spat

Swarthy Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Luddites = Non Sequitur

Speaking of non sequitur, you have you points E and F right next to each other. How can China be plotting a Technological Empire, without inventing or innovating?

I also feel the need to point out that Huawei is slightly ahead of other telecoms equipment providers as far as 5G stuff goes.

Dozens of .gov HTTPS certs expire, webpages offline, FBI on ice, IT security slows... Yup, it's day 20 of Trump's govt shutdown

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: Comparison

Add to that that they have to authorize back-pay, and the bill to do that got shot down by the Republicans in the Senate.

Also, what good is back-pay if you've been evicted?

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

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Happy

Re: Neutrality

Considering the Democrats did not take control of the House until January 2019, and the Shutdown started on 11 days prior, it would be wholly inappropriate to blame the shut-down on the Dems. Additionally, Trump has said - on National TV - that this is his shutdown.

So it must be Obama's fault.

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

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Paris Hilton

Re: Look out below!

If it falls on them, does that make them passers-on?

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files

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Re: scratch

"Always mount a scratch monkey."

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate

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Re: @swarthy

I took no offense at the "tea boy" comment, I simply didn't repeat it in reply. I even accept your use of "tea boy" to indicate mediocre code, they are still way ahead of HR Managers and Accountants who try to write their own "software".

You did not say "that great code is indistinguishable from mediocre code, until a situation where the mediocre code fails and the great code continues to work"; you said that there is no difference. I am pedantic, and whilst the former may have been what you meant, it is not what you said.

I count knowing what hardware you will be using (usually a given or derived requirement) and it's associated capabilities as a "known tolerance". EG: If you are writing embedded software, it will not tolerate using PHP.

Saying that software is not engineered is a bit like saying "we build bridges, we design bridges, but we sure as fuck don't engineer them." Now, one can slap a couple of planks across a stream and have a non-designed, non-engineered bridge, and one can copy pasta from Stack Overflow and create the equivalent software. Or one could research how much weight said bridge will have to carry, how long/wide the bridge must be, is it foot or vehicular traffic, etc and engineer a bridge with the requisite strength, give, and support.

I am not saying that all software is engineered, but you are saying that none of it is, and you are wrong.

Swarthy Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Great for this Engineer

Really!?

Use your handle to replace "known tolerances" with "Given and derived requirements" and "known materials and techniques" with "appropriate languages and algorithms", and see that you're spouting bollocks. Per your argument about scale, I have seen instances where that scale was 1 user; you may as well be saying that if no-one finds a bug/vulnerability, than said bug/vuln doesn't exist.

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

Swarthy Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Easter you say?

The intent of that comment, as I read it, is that "This authoritarian nonsense will not be pushed by Brussels; our government will be completely free to push their own authoritarian nonsense, that they currently blame on Brussels."

Florida man stumbles on biggest prime number after working plucky i5 CPU for 12 days straight

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Trollface

Re: Mersenne

Nah, that's still covered by the original Godwin.

Um, I'm not that Gary, American man tells Ryanair after being sent other Gary's flight itinerary

Swarthy Silver badge
Alert

Re: Not everyone likes a +

... rejects the <email>+<website>@.... since that is a wonderful way to track who sold the address list.
And I think you just nailed down why so many reject the '+' in an e-mail address.

Bored IT manager automates Millennium Eve checks to ditch snoozing for boozing

Swarthy Silver badge
Thumb Up

Ah, Asocial Media. I like it!

Heard the one where the boss calls in an Oracle consultant who couldn't fix the database?

Swarthy Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: RE: Getting one over on the boss

The worst ones are where you are writing software to streamline some of the old processes, and show the initial design to be told "No, do it <stupid way> so it's more like our current procedure."

It's a requirement, so you do it their way, and when the application gets to User Acceptance Testing, ALL of the users make a comment like "Why did you do it that way, we don't do it that way. It would be better if it did it <originally designed way>."

Dutch boyband hopes to reverse Brexit through the power of music

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Thumb Up

Re: Slightly wrong.

I had to upvote, not because of your position (As a Septic, I have no right to care), but rather just for "omnishambollox".

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: Solution...

A petard is a small breaching charge-named after the French word for flatulence.

One could be hoist by their own petard by getting blown up by their own bomb (see "Scoring an Own-Goal") or by having such an intense discharge of gases that they are raised on a malodorous cloud of their own making.

2018 ain't done yet... Amazon sent Alexa recordings of man and girlfriend to stranger

Swarthy Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Reach out?

How else are you supposed to "touch faith" with out reaching out?

Where's that Depeche Mode Icon.... Close enough.

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

Swarthy Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Check the die

That's okay, provided you can remember where the spots used to be.

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: ...but may also run afoul of US laws forbidding cruel and unusual punishment

The trick here is that the Constitution prohibits "Cruel and Unusual Punishment". if It's done on a normal day-to-day basis (EG: several years waiting for execution, or loading up the charges so that a minor crime ends up with decades of prison time) then while it may be cruel, it is not also unusual.

This punishment, while unusual, is not particularly cruel; and should pass the sniff test.

Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: re The bad old days

JANET?! Dammit!

Got any ecsta-sea? Boffins get octopuses high on MDMA – for science, duh

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: A rally of octopus

A wunch of Bankers?

A flash of inspiration sees techie get dirty to fix hospital's woes

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: Slightly similar situation.

Logitech Darkfield Mice would solve that problem. Mine will even work on clean (un-scratched/un-textured) glass.

Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

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Mushroom

Re: The boss owned up? Apologised, even?

A military leader doesn't want to find out that his / her people don't trust them at the time the bullets start flying all around the place..not because the troops may advance to the rear with haste, but because some of the bullets heading toward said office may originate from "friendly" weapons.

Not to mention that live grenades, minus their pins, make for lousy bedfellows.

Military troops can/will take a lot of grief, but if it gets to be too much, they tend to lodge their complaints ballistically.

Sur-Pies! Google shocks world with sudden Android 9 Pixel push

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Boffin

Re: Its all in the name

Maybe it's Android v.9.86.96

Swarthy Silver badge

The REAL challenge

Will be coming up with a proper dessert-themed "Q" word.

Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: How about ...

Return of the pop-under? I'll stick to Privacy Badger, thanks.

Here's why AI can't make a catchier tune than the worst pop song in the charts right now

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Paris Hilton

Re: I'm actually surprised that it works on raw samples at all

I would be tempted to try some sort of 2D (or 3D for the extra challenge) visual representation of known music (perhaps frequencies defining hue, amplitude defining saturation, and time being converted to physical space) to train one of the visual/image "AI" machines and see if converting their generated output would do better than the audio AI.

UK spies broke law for 15 years, but what can you do? shrugs judge

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Trollface

Re: GCHQ, MI5 and MI6 can fix the problem overnight ...

Just buy subpoena Facebook, then it's all legal.
If they bought Facebook, it would then be illegal for FB to collect all that they do.

So, yeah, they spooks should buy FB.

Boffins mix AI and chemicals to create super-fast lab assistant

Swarthy Silver badge
Terminator

Re: Things I wont Work With

I also thought of that guy, and Ignition!, on reading this article. Except I thought "Hey, maybe this contraption could characterize some of the less pleasant fluorine reactions.

Adtech-for-sex biz tells blockchain consent app firm, 'hold my beer'

Swarthy Silver badge
Coat

Re: Cheers for clarifying

More about the one-eyed bandit?

Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: New version of Cluedo

Tim Curry as the BOFH, Madeline Kahn as Gina.

Or a reasonable facsimile thereof, it has been over 30 years.

FCC caught red-handed – again – over its $225 complaint billing plan

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: Swamp

<quote>....was smoking something awfully strong.</quote>

Right, wrong hallucinogen, more likely LSD!!!

Considering the location of his support base, I'd suspect Meth.

Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: Pretty sure some other bloke is having a bad day...

The way I've seen Mass/Random Wizz Quizzing work is that they select a number of people to participate, and then select a number of samples at random to test. They may test each of them for a random substance, because there is no test for "everything". So OP may have been one of the non-tested samples, and wyatt's "guy" was randomly selected for the substance he got busted for.

UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

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Headmaster

Health is every bit a public concern as education.
'Sokay, tho. The US is ruining its education systems as well. (preventing any improvements, actively shutting down any investigations into fraud, and doing SFA in regards to school safety)

Misconfiguration of Java web server component Jolokia puts orgs at risk

Swarthy Silver badge
Coat

So....

Jolokia is peppered with security flaws. Anyone putting it in production with out hardening deserves to be the bhut of many jokes; and that chili feeling they just got is the ghost of their career, fleeing.

All right, I'm leaving. No need for the pepper spray!

Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Swarthy Silver badge
Coat

I would imagine that plants in a zero-radiation environment would grow poorly, the poor dears do need radiant light to grow, after all.

Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Swarthy Silver badge
Trollface

Re: One, two, three, many

Just your bog-standard base-four counting system.

I think it was originally developed by professional crocodile wrestlers.

Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: Great product

"Other than that; Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

Swarthy Silver badge
Joke

Re: eeeww - gross

Board Chow!

Geoboffins baffled as Ceres is crawling with carbon organics

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Alien

Re: Endolithic crustose lichen?

I was thinking it looked more like a false-color image of a hotel room wall bathed in black-light.

But, you know, your suggestion is much less disturbing.

Astroboffins 'sprinkle iron filings' over remnant supernova

Swarthy Silver badge
Devil

Re: Not too shabby indeed

"Traffic-control-laser"
I'm okay with this as long as I'm the only person with one.
Fine, you can have the only Traffic Control Laser, so long as I can have the only Traffic Control Maser.

Aussie bloke wins right to sue Google over 'underworld' images

Swarthy Silver badge
Holmes

Your are Ford Prefect, and I claim my five quid!

You have suffered without red-headed emoji for too long. That changes Tuesday

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: More???

Well, animated GIFs do have a long tradition of expressing a precise meme-ing.

Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: They're sharks, not shark-bait!

You got that right, chum!

It's all true – I bribed big city's IT boss with fat bathroom bungs, admits tech biz chief exec

Swarthy Silver badge
Devil

Let's see....

At a $94/hour contract rate, the "Break even" point would see the employee getting paid $47/hour, $42 if you allow for a 10% overhead. That would mean the employee is bringing home ~$87K/year. In some of the more expensive parts of the country this is a decent, mid-career IT Specialists paycheck. In Detroit, this would be a Senior Level Hard-to-find Specialist who could have retired, but they keep throwing more money to keep them.

Most probably the employee was getting on the order of $22K/Year, or $10.50/hr. This would cost the employer $21/hr - $23/hr; meaning they were clearing about $70/employee/hour.

Yeah, There was nothing honest about this consulting company.

Church of England will commune with God for you via Amazon's Echo

Swarthy Silver badge

Re: Oh great

No! Just a very naughty computer.

Lawyer warned FCC of Securus phone-tracking risks 10 months ago

Swarthy Silver badge

Hey, I can believe hopeful. I hope the FCC will do their job, I can even hope that Pai will stop prioritizing telcos over their customers.

I don't believe that it will happen, but I can hope.

President Trump broke US Constitution with Twitter bans – judge

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Boffin

Re: putting my dancing shoes on...

Another judge that thinks she's the POTUS (or above him).
Per the Separation of Powers, she kinda' is:
  • The Legislative Branch creates the laws
  • The Executive Branch executes(enforces) the laws
  • The Judicial Branch interprets the laws
If the interpretation of the Law is at odds with how it is executed, the execution must change to reflect the interpretation.

"Legislating from The Bench" is actually what judges are supposed to do.

Swarthy Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Off with his head!

So, using this precedent media companies are going to be legally required to give air time for everybody that shouts at their TV or barges onto a stage uninvited from the audience, and newspapers will be required to publish every letter?
Yes! On top of that, allowing same-sex marriage will cause people to marry their dogs, legalizing cannabis will increase heroin overdoses, and deporting undocumented immigrants after a conviction will collapse the labor market.

*Here's the </sarc> tag for those that need it.

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

Swarthy Silver badge
WTF?

Re: WHAT!!! Annie? Really?

Oh, we are not going into a Yanny and Hardy sketch, are we?

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