* Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

1322 posts • joined 19 Jun 2009

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Green software blacked out Australian State

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Any turbines up in Queensland? You'd better have learnt lessons from last year's storm !!

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Samsung plans Galaxy Note 7 fire sale

Your alien overlord - fear me
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And I hear they'll rename it the Galaxy "Lottery of Death" 7 since you will be gambling with your life for the 7 days you'll use it before it bursts into life, er fire.

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UK digital minister Matt Hancock praises 'crucial role' of encryption

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Well, the governments right hand certainly doesn't know what it's left hand is doing. Probably because the left hand has implemented encryption !!!

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Boffins name 12 new types of cloud in first Cloud Atlas since 1986

Your alien overlord - fear me
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"and is an example of an undular bore." er no, it's an example of a bore who you don't want to get trapped next to in the pub.

And as el Reg implied, why is there no 'digital cloud'?

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USA can afford golf for Trump. Can't afford .com for FBI infosec service

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Changed hands recently. To the FBI who are currently looking at who falls for scam websites no doubt :-)

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UK Home Sec: Give us a snoop-around for WhatApp encryption. Don't worry, we won't go into the cloud

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Why are terrorists being favoured here? What about drug dealers/users and paedo rings. Shouldn't the gov't be allowed to break into those groups or would it be too embarrassing to find all the MPs/Lords using those services?

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Dishwasher has directory traversal bug

Your alien overlord - fear me
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My dish washer is connected to the internet. Me !!!

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After London attack, UK gov lays into Facebook, Google for not killing extremist terror pages

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Since Farceborg et all can swiftly take down nudity, breast-feeding, buskers playing copyrighted material I can't see why they are so slow at taking down terrorist pages. Unless the US social media companies are actually supporters of terrorism?

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Bloke whose drone was blasted out of sky by angry dad loses another court battle for compo

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: It's too bad

I think they use a shotgun cartridge to throw the net. Far easier would be to get a cheap drone yourself and kamikaze it into the opposition !!!

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DNA-bothering eggheads brew beer you were literally born to like

Your alien overlord - fear me
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2,100 pints at a pint a day (for health benefits) is over 5 and a half years. So what is the shelf life going to be? I only ask because my tastes are unlike those of anyone else and I certainly wouldn't share £12/pint beer for free :-)

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Ofcom wants automatic compensation for the people when ISPs fail

Your alien overlord - fear me
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If they have to pay £6/day for missing installations then surely they will just add a month on to however long it would have taken them to cover their arses?

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Did you know: Crimelords behind DDoS attacks offer customer loyalty points?

Your alien overlord - fear me
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"originating from IPs in China" - bloody outsourcers

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Spotted: Bizarre SpaceX rocket-snatching machine that looks like it belongs on Robot Wars

Your alien overlord - fear me
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One of the guys on the actual robot overlord is wearing a stetson and no hi-vis vest - is he your mandatory "cowboy" construction worker?

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Our Sun's been using facial scrub: No spots for two weeks

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Blame it on climate change !!! Either that or it's saving up for 'The Big One' !!!

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Lloyds Banking Group to hang up on call centre staffers

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: 3,200 applications??

In my experience, every Excel macro is an ''application" as far as management are concerned. I suspect there are in excess of 3,000 macros in use !!!

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Your alien overlord - fear me
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"best bank for customers" - but obviously not for staff.

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'Clearance sale' shows Apple's iPad is over. It's done

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: Tablets

When you're sick they ease the pain and can be a life saver.

I could say an Apple a day keeps the doctor at bay but that might be construed that iPads can last a whole day :-)

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TRAPPIST-1's planets are quiet. Quiet as the grave, in fact

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Earth was covered in ice at one point (or probably more), didn't do us any harm so other 'ice' planets are probably just going through a phase. By the time we get there, they'll have warmed up.

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NASA to fire 1Gbps laser 'Wi-Fi' ... into spaaaaace

Your alien overlord - fear me
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NASA does know that the ISS spins around the earth and isn't in line of sight all the time? Is the geostationary 'base station' going to have a stonking big buffer because watching Netflix in space will be tedious - watching for 10 minutes, buffering for 90, watching for 10, buffering for 90.

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Metasploit upgraded to sniff out IoT weakspots in corporate networks

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Funny, when I do pen testing, I usually just scribble it on a piece of paper to see if the ink runs :-)

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Gift cards or the iPhone gets it: Hackers threaten Apple with millions of remote wipes

Your alien overlord - fear me
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over valued !!

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Decapitating Rockall: How a 1970s Navy expedition blasted the top off the Atlantic islet

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Rockall. What is it good for? Fuck all (it seems) !!!

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Uber bans 'brilliant jerks', will train staff on Why Diversity Matters

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Was it an 'all-hands on' because it seems like a large number of females were present saying how things will get better. Where were they when things weren't better?

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Microsoft delivers secure China-only cut of Windows 10

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Why isn't it called Microsoft Yellow? Microsoft Red would be for the Russkies surely?

And Microsoft Blue is what the western countries feel like knowing they are being spied on.

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Plusnet slapped with £880k fine for billing ex customers

Your alien overlord - fear me
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You do me proud son !!!!

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Outgoing HPE workers stripped of gym cards and cushy remnants

Your alien overlord - fear me
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DXC could of course start their own Sports and Social Club - and maybe take on the HPE Socials at things like Senior Management Kick-Boxing (or should that be Kick Boxing the Senior Management?)

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Airplane bomb fears spark America's laptop, tablet carry-on ban

Your alien overlord - fear me
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It's to stop people watching their own movies in flight and force them to watch the drivel the airlines want you to watch. That's my theory (which is as good as anyone else's on this matter I reckon) !!

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Nuclear subs seek virtual SAN, says VMware

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Paris Hilton

SAN - Submarine Area network ?

Paris - because I hear she goes down (like a sub !!! )

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Large Hadron Collider turns up five new particles

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Trollface

They seem to have a lot of particles floating around in the LHC. Perhaps someone should hoover it out once in a while?

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FBI, NSA top brass: We've seen jack squat to back up Trump's claims of Obama wiretaps

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Perhaps we should be thinking that GCHQ is actually very good at covering their tracks and/or the FBI/NSA are rubbish at investigating stuff? Now that would be a turn up for the books !!!

Personally I think Trump is a twat and someone should shout at his tweets "FAKE NEWS everyone, it's FAKE NEWS" as he does to everything he doesn't like.

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WWE star's swiped sex snaps survey spam snares selfie sickos

Your alien overlord - fear me
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No Lego figurines doing a smack down?

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Safe, staffers? We'll let you know

Your alien overlord - fear me
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So, is it names in a hat or keyrings in the middle of the office floor to see who you'll 'buddy' up with?

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Effort to fire Euro Patent Office president beaten back – again

Your alien overlord - fear me
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What I don't understand is why they claim to be an international organisation and therefore immune to local/EU laws (re labour abuses etc.). Surely that could be used by banks etc since they are international?

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MI5 man to steer GCHQ as Trump wiretapping saga continues

Your alien overlord - fear me
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... the rubbish being uttered by the Trump camp ...

Yep, that's one way to keep them as partners :-)

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Uber president quits, says company's values inconsistent with his own leadership style

Your alien overlord - fear me
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So, they're cutting down on sexism and such like and he leaves because the companies values don't match his own. Someone with a suspicious mind might put 2 and 2 together !!

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A router with a fear of heights? Yup. It's a thing

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Just as well mine are located in my underground lair at the bottom of an extinct volcano. Mwahahaha.

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McDonalds India's delivery app was a golden honeypot

Your alien overlord - fear me
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I wonder

if their UK app they've just released is as secure? And no, it only allows you to order when in the queue in store so in theory shouldn't store anything like your home address!!!

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Brit firm lands £58m EU spy drone 'copter contract

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Well, if Britain's good enough to spy on Trump (allegedly) , it's certainly good enough to spy on EU nationals !!!!

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National Audit Office: Brit aircraft carrier project is fine and dandy... for now

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Surely since we're going to use the US Marines planes, we can borrow some of their staff as well? You know, to maintain the ship, steer it, defend it etc.

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BOFH: Don't back up in anger

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Then some very disturbing pictures.

Then some very very disturbing text.

And more very disturbing pictures.

Yes, implementing ISO9001 is very disturbing :-)

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Face down in a Shoreditch gutter: Attack of the kickstarting hipster

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Starcrash - now that looks like a great movie - did they every do a follow up?

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UK's National Cyber Security Centre bungles simple Twitter Rickroll

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Facepalm

Re: Pot meet kettle

takes me to a Companies House webpage showing a company called drop table companies ltd.

Eye, meet mud !!!

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UK's Association of British Travel Agents cops to data breach

Your alien overlord - fear me
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No ones mentioned MongoDB or is that just implied?

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Fire brigade called to free man's bits from titanium ring's grip

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Where's the back story - how the feck did he get everything through the ring in the first place?

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Manchester college swaps out disk for rackful of hybrid flash

Your alien overlord - fear me
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" Because flash arrays are so much faster, the college has found a 57 per cent reduction in its storage requirements" - huh? Since when has speed anything to do with storage space?

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San Francisco reveals latest #Resist effort – resisting sub-gigabit internet access

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Sorry

but there are at least two (count 'em, two) girlies on that panel. Is this right on an internet based setup? It does seem to set a worrying trend to the traditional white-male controlled setups.

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Dark matter drought hits older galaxies: Boffins are, rightly, baffled

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Headmaster

Scientists get their maths wrong and so rather admit it, they make up dark matter. If only I'd known I could do that back in my school days !!!

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More Brits' IDs stolen than ever before

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Well, my ID was stolen. I am the rightful head of the British monarchy but some German and her Greek fella stole it from me.

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Twitter app pwned by pro-Turkey hackers: Users' accounts sling 'Nazi' slurs

Your alien overlord - fear me
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I wonder if Erdogan realises Nazi is short for Nationalist (Socialist) - so if he's playing the nationalist card, guess who is the real Nazi?

It should also be remembered that Turkey was Germany's ally in WW1 and was technically neutral in WW2 but had no qualms supplying Germany with much needed goods to help their war effort. History eh, how inconvenient !!!!

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Headphone batteries flame out mid-flight, ignite new Li-Ion fears

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: Rude awakening at 30,000ft

The staff used buckets of water - probably more than 100ml. Although I wonder why they didn't carry fire extinguishers on board?

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