* Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

1641 posts • joined 19 Jun 2009

BT problems impact Department for Work and Pensions services

Your alien overlord - fear me
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It's just a friendly warning from BT not to break up their contract.

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Ego stroking, effusive praise and promise of billions: White House tech meeting in full

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Somewhere in there is the germ

Should have ended it at that.

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Uber CEO Travis Kalanick has resigned, says report

Your alien overlord - fear me
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I heard Theresa May asked him to become the Minister for Equality to distract the press from her !!!

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Researchers take the piss with pee-powered liquid energy project

Your alien overlord - fear me
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You're drunk, the mobile battery is low and you vaguely remember an article on el Reg about pissing to recharge your phone. Let's hope yours is waterproof :-)

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Report estimates cost of disruption to GPS in UK would be £1bn per day

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: Alternatively...

Just wind your window down and ask for directions :-)

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When corporate signage goes BAD

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Holmes

How do they do it?

It's a Cisco PR department trying to get free advertising from techie websites.

The large piece that fell should surely be on the floor. The stand-offs would have hit the angled piece and either caught it higher up or knocked it onto the floor.

I reckon a Lego mock-up should be done to test the physics (hence the icon).

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Virtual reality audiences stare straight ahead 75% of the time

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Trollface

Why don'y VR film makers put on the 'front' view a message saying look behind to get a code for a free Starbucks/pizza/etc? That'd encourage couch potatoes to move, even if it's just their head !!

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Google plans to scrub 'inflammatory' and terror vids from youTube

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Why doesn't Google only allow certain users to upload possibly terrorist-flagged videos, like the BBC etc so home users i.e. actual/wannabe terrorists get their propaganda automatically removed?

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Insert coin: Atari retro console is coming back

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Let's hope they don't bundle Kodi with it to make it a media box !!!

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FOIA documents show the Kafkaesque state of US mass surveillance

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Super secret court

but the judge is named. Not secret or smart !

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You wait ages for a sun, then two come along at once: All stars have twins, say astroboffins

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Nice stating a ;fact which can't be disproven - if Sol had a twin (and they've already named it after a Star Trek movie), we should see it as a big hunka light, even if it's 1,000,000 AU away. We haven't spotted it so I would guess either (a) it never existed or (b) see a !!!

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Ofcom fines Three £1.9m over vulnerability in emergency call handling

Your alien overlord - fear me
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" added an additional backup route to carry emergency call traffic" but it seems normal calls will still be cut off if the link goes down. Nice. Now OFCOM how about fining them for that as well?

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Oh the irony: Government Digital Services can't pay staff because of tech problems

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Hopefully these Frenchies hold all that personal data in the UK because I've heard a rumour we might not stay in the EU (I know, I know, never trust rumours!!!)

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Software dev bombshell: Programmers who use spaces earn MORE than those who use tabs

Your alien overlord - fear me
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RPG/28 and RPG/400

Try programming that with spaces - for people under 50, it's the programming language for IBM System/38 and System/400 mini-computers.

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Fighter pilot shot down laptops with a flick of his copper-plated wrist

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Both copper bracelets and magnets are just sham medicine and I'm surprised an ex-fighter pilot fell for it.

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Brit hacker admits he siphoned info from US military satellite network

Your alien overlord - fear me
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If the rozzers found the data on his home computers, why did it need the help of the FBI and DoD to get a conviction?

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Samsung releases 49-inch desktop monitor with 32:9 aspect ratio

Your alien overlord - fear me
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125% of the sRGB colour spectrum

Note the spelling !!!!

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Uncle Sam bungs rich tech giants quarter of a billion bucks for exascale super R&D

Your alien overlord - fear me
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By 2020 I expect a 2 exascale machine looking after my fridge. Has Moore's Law been repealed?

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Operators and vendors agree that Europe is falling behind in 5G

Your alien overlord - fear me
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5G?

I think most telco's are still paying off their 3G license fee.

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Facebook tried teaching bots art of negotiation – so the AI learned to lie

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Hats? Bah !

Sex. Get them to learn about sex and how blokes want it and what trade off they have to give to their partners for it.

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Disney mulls Mickey Mouse magic material to thwart pirates' 3D scans

Your alien overlord - fear me
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How will the human eye see it if it distorts light? Will Mickey look like Minnie?

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Europe-wide BitTorrent indexer blockade looms after Pirate Bay blow

Your alien overlord - fear me
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So, peer to peer networks are out. What about downloading files directly? Or is that also covered?

Just asking for a friend, obviously !!

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It's 2017 and someone's probably still using WINS naming. If so, stop

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Suppose you want me to stop using IPX as well even though the Novell servers have gone !!

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Nokia snatches clump of 16nm FinFETs, crafts 576 Tbps monster router

Your alien overlord - fear me
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I wonder if people like the NSA need something like this in ISP's data centres to copy US citizens private data at speed?

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Currys PC World given a spanking for misleading laptop savings ads

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Does the ASA not realise the free advertising they are giving Currys PC World?

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It came from space! Two-headed flatworm stuns scientists

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Did a bloke called Hercules do the head cutting off?

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Ever wonder why those Apple iPhone updates take so damn long?

Your alien overlord - fear me
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But they are 'special' guinea pigs. So it's fine to be treated that way :-)

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British Airways poised to shed 1,000 jobs to Capita

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Because last months fan wasn't big enough :-)

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Marissa! Mayer! out! as! Yahoo!-Verizon! closes!

Your alien overlord - fear me
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"I'm also brimming with cash and stock options whilst 2000 will be joining me at the unemployment office with a slightly less generous payout." she allegedly said.

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Discredit a journo? Easy, that'll be $55k. Fix an election? Oh, I can do that for just $400k

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Read beyond the headlines? In this day and age? Might as well stop elections now.

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France and UK want to make web firms liable for users' content

Your alien overlord - fear me
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'bout fecking time

Google should be held liable for allowing Justin Bieber to show his videos on Youtube !!!!

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Specsavers embraces Azure and AWS, recoils at Oracle's 'wow' factor

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Not so much 'Should have gone to Specsavers' as 'Have gone to AWS'

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Sharp claims Hisense reverse-ferreted its US telly licence deal

Your alien overlord - fear me
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But Sharp tellies are crap. What's the complaint?

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Lockheed, USAF hold breath as F-35 pilots report hypoxia

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Top Gun

Take my breath away..... and now you'll be singing it all day :-)

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German police nick alleged admin of dark web gun sales site

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: False connection

In America, any nut job can buy a gun and ammo. Some states do check for things like are you are recently released mass murderer, but some states can't be bothered - something to do with the right to carry firearms although technically, it's muskets.

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Mac ransomware author is giving away malicious code to script kiddies

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Either a very lazy malware writer or someone whose using the Apple store method of taking a third from hard working spam artists.

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Who will save us from voice recog foolery from scumbags? Magnetometer!

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Time to buy shares in NXT speakers.

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IBM warns itself of possible outages in lab shift screw-up

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Sounds like he didn't really want Austin to close, what with threatening a fortnights outage of some services.

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Has riddle of the 1977 'Wow!' signal finally been cracked? Maybe...

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Obviously aliens ride comets as a stellar Uber and the signals are are them talking to each other.

Anything else is an Illuminati-led cover up to keep the sheeple on Earth whilst they plan to leave this cesspit before it gets too hot.

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DDoS attack brings Qatar's Al Jazeera website to its knees

Your alien overlord - fear me
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DDos attack and no mention of the Russkies?

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DUP site crashes after UK general election

Your alien overlord - fear me
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She could possibly get away with no coalition - how often is there a full house in the Commons?

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Human-free robo-cars on Washington streets after governor said the software is 'foolproof'

Your alien overlord - fear me
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A fool and his money

are soon elected governor of Washington

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Alphabet offloads bot businesses Boston Dynamics and SCHAFT

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Surely Alphabet was improving humans lives by not letting robots take over our jobs/sex life etc.

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20 Apple China staff collared for allegedly flogging customers' info

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Correction

easily reaches the *millions* surely if they sold data @ $1.50/record and made over $7 million.

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Oh no, Silicon Valley! Failed startup CEO on fraud rap after allegedly bullsh*ting staff and refusing to pay them

Your alien overlord - fear me
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How long does US banks take for a wire transfer? In the UK, it's literally minutes nowadays (from high street bank to high street bank). If someone showed me a confirmation slip, I'd expect the funds to be in my bank by the time I log in. Not there and I'd be kicking off immediately, not working for another month or however long these guys took to realise they'd been conned.

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Live blog: Fired FBI boss spills the beans to US Senate committee

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Question.

Did Trump ever say 'Read my lips' before blatantly lying to the press?

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Spy commissioners: Did we audit our bulk data sharing with industry? Err... not exactly

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Collect too much information and you can't sort the wheat from the chaff and that is even more irresponsible.

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Nuns chastise Google and Eric names Larry greatest human alive

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"pay equally across genders" - ah, I see Alphabet's problem. They don't realise the girls are also a gender which is why there is so much bro-mance in Silicon Valley.

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Most vulnerabilities first blabbed about online or on the dark web

Your alien overlord - fear me
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How long does it take for a NSA used 'bug' to become public and fixed? I doubt days :-)

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Busted Russian casino hackers had an appetite for drugs and chocolate

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Sounds like the plot lines for Sin City 4.

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