* Posts by Roger Greenwood

729 posts • joined 7 Sep 2006

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My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

Roger Greenwood

Re: missed opportunity

Try getting a user to hold a scope probe and watch the 50hz hum jump. Shirley this proves the user is radiating and is the source of the problem!

6
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Airbus CIO: We dumped Microsoft Office not over cost but because Google G Suite looks sweet

Roger Greenwood

I'm with you - right tool for the job. Standard office tools have a place but far too often we get engineering drawings somehow created in a spreadsheet and sent to us. That's room plans, schematics, mechanical panel layouts, anything to avoid using a proper CAD system. Completely inappropriate but cheap! As the article says, they are trying to reduce the amount of email, empower more of the workforce and do things differently - makes sense. Google started about 10 years ahead of Microsoft on collaboration and I'm not sure they've caught up yet.

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6

Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

Roger Greenwood

Re: The Endless River...

"All we need to do is make sure we keep talking"

21
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Good luck saying 'Sorry I'm late, I had to update my car's firmware'

Roger Greenwood

Should be easy to find the time for car updates

The updates can run whilst you check the windows, lights, oil, water, tyres etc before each journey. We all do that surely?

4
1

Swiss see Telly Tax as a Big Plus, vote against scrapping it

Roger Greenwood

BOFH Series

That I would pay to see, as discussed elsewhere:-

https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2018/03/02/bofh_2018_episode_4/

0
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Spotify wants to go public but can't find Ed Sheeran (to pay him)

Roger Greenwood

Ed Sheeran

Is performing in Perth W.A. tonight. Just in case you need to know that. Being 8 hours ahead of the UK, that's on now. Wonder if he's streaming it?

6
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Full shift to electric vans would melt Royal Mail's London hub, MPs told

Roger Greenwood

Re: Case study

Candidate for rant of the week - lovely.

"24 flats, all with 230v mains" - I put money on these flats being fed from a 3ph supply so getting the feed from more than one crossed would be interesting.

7
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NASA budget shock: Climate studies? GTFO. We're making the Moon great again, says Trump

Roger Greenwood

Re: Valuable minerals?

but those three are particularly difficult to separate from the ore (managerium)

6
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I see you're writing a résumé?!.. LinkedIn parked in MS Word

Roger Greenwood

Dear Jobseekers

If you need a lot of AI help updating a CV have you considered that you may be applying for the wrong job?

18
2

Lenovo literally has a screw loose – so it's recalled flagship Carbon X1 ThinkPads

Roger Greenwood

Are you sure it's a screw?

Pozitive.

6
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Bring the people 'beautiful' electric car charging points, calls former transport minister

Roger Greenwood

I think you will find that Dalek poo gives a better power to weight ratio

14
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We're cutting F-35 costs, honest, insists jet-builder Lockheed Martin

Roger Greenwood

You talked to Mr Over

How on earth did you resist?

12
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Heathrow's air traffic radio set for shiny digital upgrade from Northrop

Roger Greenwood

Re: air gapped

on the contrary - surely it should be cloud based?

14
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UK.gov puts Suffolk 7-year-old's submarine design into production

Roger Greenwood

Re: I can tell them that for free

A: all of them as we can't afford any more

14
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How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

Roger Greenwood
Happy

I see a problem:-

too prone to leaks.

7
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2001: A Stob Odyssey

Roger Greenwood

Another from the 90s preserved here:-

http://www.nthong.co.uk/hal.htm

13
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Munich council finds €49.3m for Windows 10 embrace

Roger Greenwood

Re: Keep politicians away from IT decisions

I feel Linspired

14
2

Does UK high street banks' crappy crypto actually matter?

Roger Greenwood

Attitude of banks

True story:-

Lady asked to go into bank to draw out some money for her father.

No problem says the cashier - let me update your passbook while you're here.

Passbook updated. Hang on - unknown transaction - withdrawal from an ATM.

Cue big argument - cashier insists the system cannot be wrong. Lady insists her father cannot have withdrawn the money as the ATM was 100 miles away and he is too ill to travel. Cashier insists the system cannot be wrong. Argument escalates to senior supervisor who insists system cannot be wrong, no one can keep track of another person 100%, ill or not.

Lady says she can prove it was not withdrawn by her father - he hasn't got an ATM card.

Money duly restored to account.

Moral of the story - the system cannot be wrong. Except it can and you have to prove it.

12
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Once more, with feeling: Dawn to take a closer look at Ceres

Roger Greenwood
Happy

Re: Hundreds of millions of km away

" if scientists and engineers " be careful what you wish for - not everyone is such a kind and benevolent person as you.

Then again, I do see your point.

p.s. cheers to the scientists and engineers who build and run these awesome spacecraft.

4
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How many times can Microsoft kill Mobile?

Roger Greenwood

Re: Microsoft is trying very hard to kill itself.

"What have they screwed up on Server?"

SBS

5
1

Microsoft Office 365 Exchange issues for users across Europe

Roger Greenwood

Re: We've contacted Microsoft for comment. ®

They will be busy "tasking out some actions to the team"

4
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Apple's adoption of Qi signals the end of the wireless charging wars

Roger Greenwood

100 years ago

". . wireless power transfer has been around for over a century"

". . it's only left to bayonet the wounded"

I see what you did there.

4
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Smart meters: 'Dog's breakfast' that'll only save you 'a tenner' – report

Roger Greenwood

Re: Common sense is free!

But, but, 7 is much more than 2! :-)

2
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Energy firm slapped with £50k fine for making 1.5 million nuisance calls

Roger Greenwood

Exactly - the fine should be related to the number of calls/complaints. £100 per complaint would do it - half to the person called to encourage reporting.

15
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Hell desk to user: 'I know you're wrong. I wrote the software. And the protocol it runs on'

Roger Greenwood

Topical

https://twitter.com/TheRickyDavila/status/895664236034174976

1
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Autonomous driving in a city? We're '95% of the way there'

Roger Greenwood

Re: 95% done or 95% of the work remaining?

. . . and you'll never get to 100% - mission creep will see to that.

17
0

Ubuntu 'weaponised' to cure NHS of its addiction to Microsoft Windows

Roger Greenwood
Pint

Re: The city of Munich tried this

The vote went against that but I haven't seen a recent update other than they are keeping their options open. I'm in Munich next week - shall I ask them over a beer?

9
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Researchers take the piss with pee-powered liquid energy project

Roger Greenwood

"charge a commercially available Samsung mobile"

I bet that will piss off Bill G.

0
0

'OK, everyone. Stop typing, this software is DONE,' said no one ever

Roger Greenwood

Sympathise with this.

Today I used this little program, unmodified, and it still saves hours:-

// Withdrawable Plugs Program

// RG Started 29/10/96 last updated:- 4/11/96

// C++ - filename = wd.cpp

// IDE Notes :-

// set editor tab size to 3

// load project wd.prj

I am sure other readers will have more ancient stuff they still use?

1
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Forcing digital forensics to obey 'one size fits all' crime lab standard is 'stupid and expensive'

Roger Greenwood

Re: Not just commercial forensic labs...

"Consider that 17025 specifies that exhibits cannot be outside the exhibit store for more than n minutes at a time."

Not true - that is not in the standard. The word "exhibit" doesn't even exist in the version I have. It may be in your procedures, but that is a different problem.

3
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Roger Greenwood

"compliance bureaucracy"

Otherwise known as doing it properly with records i.e. ISO9001 without the old manufacturing bias. Minimum (external) cost is about £2k to £3K for the first audit for a small lab, then £1K per year after that, plus your own time of course. Any labs not already certified to ISO9001 may find this hard, but the 2 standards are very closely linked and compliance with ISO17025 means you are operating in accordance with ISO9001 (says so in the introduction).

19
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Walkers' Crisps pulls backfiring Tweet campaign that paired Gary Lineker and a bunch of nasties

Roger Greenwood

"Slack handful"

So glad to see this being considered for inclusion as an IEC standard unit. I have had to explain a slack handful many times when it is clearly self describing. Perhaps the Reg. standards converter could be updated to assist those who have led a sheltered life in the IT world?

0
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7 NSA hack tool wielding follow-up worm oozes onto scene: Hello, no need for any phish!

Roger Greenwood

Re: 1Up

"The Mythical Man Month" was by Frederick P Brooks as all El Reg readers will surely know.

9
0

Faking incontinence and other ways to scare off tech support scammers

Roger Greenwood
Happy

Re: Play along with them...

"wasting their time they aren't scamming someone else"

This.

It is our solemn duty, while trying not to laugh.

(Personally I prefer "Code in .." a few times, then "Hold the line please while I trace the call")

16
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Windows 10: Triumphs and tragedies from Microsoft Build

Roger Greenwood

Re: What Is Microsofts End Game ?

"we pressure the computer makers to ship LINUX versions"

Whilst I admire the sentiment, I don't know how you are going to do that. The fact is money talks - if enough folks bought something other than Windows (enough to affect the stats and the bottom line) then change would come. But sadly few people are that interested in this petty squabble of ours and therefore buy whatever is in the shop and from whoever has the largest marketing budget/slush fund.

For what it's worth, my last machine at home running an MS product was Win95 in 1996 on a second hand computer.

2
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74 countries hit by NSA-powered WannaCrypt ransomware backdoor: Emergency fixes emitted by Microsoft for WinXP+

Roger Greenwood

Re: Do we need attachments?

Regarding "two days quarantine", this would hit one of the main uses of email for business. We transfer drawings and specifications by the bucket load every day instead of using the postal service. We also receive orders that way - and they ring up 5 minutes after pressing send to make sure you got it (yes really).

So probably not realistic for health services either.

5
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Today's bonkers bug report: Microsoft Edge can't print numbers

Roger Greenwood

So we've found a use for Abbott numbers :-)

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2017/05/03/abbott-numbers-set-to-revolutionise-mathematics/

1
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Microsoft plans summer CRM war opener against Salesforce

Roger Greenwood

Re: Anyone know how to get your account deleted?

Just fill it full of garbage then it's hard to sort out the truthiness - there are surely enough desperate users among 500m who accept all requests to be your friend. Works for facebook :-)

3
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Time to make up: Realtime collaboration comes to Excel

Roger Greenwood

Re: Less of a breakthrough . . .

The desktop version of old (2003?) had a facility we liked a lot - called shared spreadsheets or similar and it sort of worked most of the time. The trouble is it was very flaky and would hang - we got fed up of round tripping it through openoffice every week to clear out the cruft.

I have tried the online version but it still has a way to go in the user friendly department.

Open/Libre office never got there either.

0
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Roger Greenwood

Less of a breakthrough . . .

. . . more of a catch up with the competition. (We switched to google docs for this feature alone. 10 years ago).

9
2

UK.gov confirms it won't be buying V-22 Ospreys for new aircraft carriers

Roger Greenwood

“long-range combat search and rescue” or “long-range high-speed delivery of mission essential spares and stores"

That's what drones are for. You can buy and operate a lot of drones for the cost of any chopper.

Immense range, lower risk to operators, high tech so keeping business happy with upgrades and replacements.

0
2

Wanted: Bot mechanic. New nerds, apply within

Roger Greenwood

Plug and play

Surely this will be the future for most robots. Not all, of course, but central management and control solves a lot of day-to-day problems. This is already happening with infrastructure kit (electrical power, for instance) - you plug in new kit and it downloads all its settings from central management. Some kit has been doing this for decades (industrial controls) so it is only a matter of time before the mobile robotic chromebook arrives.

The folks who swap the kit in the field could be significantly de-skilled from days of ye olde fault finding.

1
1

A router with a fear of heights? Yup. It's a thing

Roger Greenwood

Yup - will be a cooling issue. If you remove all the air you remove the risk of flash - hence vacuum circuit breakers.

7
0

Facebook shopped BBC hacks to National Crime Agency over child abuse images probe

Roger Greenwood

Re: Facebook moderation is useless

Blame the algorithm?

After all, how much does one report of "bad" count against 50 "likes" - I am sure it won't be a real person looking at this until the scales swing the other way. If these images were in a hidden/private group it shouldn't be a surprise they were appreciated by the members. I wonder if any accounts have been suspended yet? Any arrests? After all, the real names policy will make it easy to identify them . . . . . . .

0
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Salford and Liverpool City Councils plan IT trading venture

Roger Greenwood

Re: CoSocius

"As of the 1st of April 2016, these functions have reverted to being delivered as in-house council shared services."

2
0

Prisoners' 'innovative' anti-IMSI catcher defence was ... er, tinfoil

Roger Greenwood

"Porridge fans"

We're obviously getting old and less relevant to the yoof of today.

The line was a bit obscure and UK centric but it was used in many episodes. Thank you for noticing - small victories.

2
0
Roger Greenwood

"There are some evil corrupt bastards . ."

Aren't you being a bit harsh on a very well meaning body of men?

3
10

Bee boffins prove sesame-seed brain is all you need to play football (well, that explains a lot)

Roger Greenwood

Re: Did the bees learn to fake injuries too

"Do bees eat pies?"

I bet they do.

4
0

Gulp! Drones dodge spray from California's gaping moist glory hole

Roger Greenwood

For UK readers see Ladybower

https://www.flickr.com/photos/ssl9/8438736104/

13
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Shocked, I tell you. BT to write off £530m over 'improper' Italian accounts practices

Roger Greenwood

Re: Is this why BT infinity bills are going up by £2.50/month?

You assume that the left hand is conversing with the right and that they can co-ordinate their actions?

Big assumption.

/cynic

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