* Posts by Marketing Hack

3684 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

Pai, Pai, Mr American spy: FCC supremo rips up privacy protections for broadband punters

Marketing Hack
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Unhappy

Nin-U.S. El Reg readers--want to understand the Trump Administration?

Start with the assumption that everything is for sale. Once you embrace that, it all becomes much less confusing.

(And if you want to know the value of a large lobbying/politcal donations budget, 're-read the article)

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Alert! The dastardly Dutch are sailing a 90-ship fleet at Blighty

Marketing Hack
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Pirate

Actually, there might be an opportunity here...

Does someone know who to contact on the Dutch side, to let them know where Britain's new aircraft carriers are docked?

Buy the dock guards a bottle or two, and if the carriers aren't there in the morning, well, no loss really. :)

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Marketing Hack
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Pirate

The RN can send an attack submarine to shadow the Dutch...

Oh wait, those are all in dock for repairs. Well, a couple Harriers could wa...wait, forget I said that. Dispatch a Nimrod maritime patro....strike that, none of those around anymore either.

So you were saying that the first time this happened, the Dutch got away scot-free because the British were laid up due to lack of funding? The past really is prologue!

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I was authorized to trash my employer's network, sysadmin tells court

Marketing Hack
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I can't see this guy winning the case

Sure, he was authorized to perform these activities, but for the benefit of the company.

I am authorized to represent my employer in front of customers, negotiate with suppliers and manage all aspects of customer data. But if I intentionally misrepresent the company, intentionally damage supplier relationships and delete customer data without a reasonable cause, I can get sued.

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Elon Musk promises Tesla investors Trump won't send him to Mars

Marketing Hack
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Go

Re: At Tesla forever?

@hplasm

Maybe that should be "Get your S to Mars!"

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Marketing Hack
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Terminator

At Tesla forever?

Of course, what Musk means is that they are going to download his consciousness into a Tesla S.

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People built AI bots to improve Wikipedia. Then they started squabbling in petty edit wars, sigh

Marketing Hack
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Terminator

Whenever I despair about our future genocidal AI overlords...

I remember that people are writing that AI, so it will be at least as screwed-up as we are.

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Pack your bags! NASA spots SEVEN nearby Earth-sized alien worlds

Marketing Hack
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Alien

Meanwhile, around Trappist 1...

Damnit, now the humans know where we are...

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IBM to UK staff: Get ready for another game of musical chairs

Marketing Hack
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Unhappy

Poor IBM

Once a great innovator, even if it tried to stangle client-server computing, and minicomputers before that.

Now it's Wipro or Tata--with a higher-cost labor base. And of course they are trying to change that via all these "consultations". I bet there are not too many of those actions going on in India/China/Phillipines.

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Blundering Boeing bod blabbed spreadsheet of 36,000 coworkers' personal details in email

Marketing Hack
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Stop

Re: Here we go again

And why is that employee allowed to download that information into a spreadsheet, even if he has read/write access as a part of his job.

Seems like bad administrative controls/administration to me.

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Is your child a hacker? Liverpudlian parents get warning signs checklist

Marketing Hack
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IT Angle

Re: I like the list of warning signs given!

You've just described about a quarter of the software devs I know!

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Marketing Hack
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Childcatcher

I like the list of warning signs given!

"Parents, is your child using Hash, when in your days they used hash?"

Next they'll be warning about the dangers of listening to rock n' roll and watching Elvis Presley dancing.

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BS Detection 101 becomes actual University subject

Marketing Hack
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Happy

Who needs to spend time and money on a university course when you have this?

http://makeagif.com/i/tpy8GR

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Jun-OH-NO! NASA's Jupiter probe in busted helium-valve drama

Marketing Hack
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Well, crap....

So I guess the Juno mission is going to be a bit of a what-could-have-been. That's disappointing, after all the successes that NASA has had in the last few years with Curiousity, Dawn, New Horizons and other missions

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New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

Marketing Hack
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Re: "How did so many idiots get into positions of power?"

Perhaps the MOD's procurement program doubles with the government's "Hire the Mentally Challenged" program?

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Marketing Hack
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FAIL

..Ministry of Defence insists its £178bn equipment programme will create thousands of jobs...

And that's just the ones in the British undertaker and grave digging industries!

So your scout helicopter acting as your AWACS radar has to fly back to the ship to give it the data on the squadron of Russian Backfires coming in? Seriously, you couldn't make this stuff up!

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Don’t panic over cyber-terrorism: Daesh-bags still at script kiddie level

Marketing Hack
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Actually, I expect that ISIS is OK with the unusual concept of honor among thieves. Especially since a successful cyber-attack would be something they would want to do again, and killing the old help makes it harder to convince the new help.

Now, if you agreed to conduct a cyberattack for ISIS and then screwed it up royally, THEN I would suggest that it is time to grow eyeballs in the back of your head.

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Marketing Hack
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Mushroom

Re: "saner heads should prevail"

Not to worry. President Trump never goes anywhere without a service officer carrying "the football" with America's nuclear launch codes within a few rooms of his location.....Oh crap...That's not comforting, is it?

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Google yanks workers from ISP outfit, it's THE FIBER COUNTDOWN

Marketing Hack
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Devil

Just rebrand as Google Wi-Fiber!

Problem solved! And this bottle of snake oil cures the common cold and rainy days--at the same time!

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Republicans send anti-Signal signal to US EPA

Marketing Hack
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Re: Plausible deniability

You're right, if these members of the civil service are just planning beerbusts and weekend ski trips together. But if they are conducting public business on their private encrypted system, then I think it has to stop.

If the Trump administration asks them to do something that is illegal, then we will just have to trust in the courts, the press, Congress and agency inspectors general to stop that. But if what the Trump administration is asking them to do is legal, but not a policy they agree with, then they need to either A) resign or B) execute the lawful policies of the lawful government of the United States, and not their own agendas

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Pwnd Android conference phone exposes risk of spies in the boardroom

Marketing Hack
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The good news on the poetic justice front is...

That Mitel probably uses these phones in their own conference rooms!

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The Register's guide to protecting your data when visiting the US

Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

Re: Trumpland...

To be fair though, the whole "you're on our watch list, so forget about flying to Disneyworld" thing dates back through the Obama and Bush the Younger administrations. My brother-in-law's last name is Collins, his first name is even more generic than that. He got on the watch list because some suspected or actual terrorist used his name, and probably doomed 100K+ American men to extra scrutiny and having to document that "Honest, it wasn't me!" with that one act.

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Marketing Hack
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Wearing a "Make America Great Again" ballcap couldn't hurt either :)

When approaching your enemy, it is best to disguise yourself as him!

"even Canadians, have been stopped."

Just as well we keep the perfidious Canucks out! Canadians only come down here to crow about their cheap healthcare, and then indirectly complain about expensive everything else by going on shopping sprees in U.S. stores and sneaking their loot back across the border. Seriously, Canadian beer is cheaper in the U.S. than it is in Canada!

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GoDaddy CEO says US is 'tech illiterate' (so, yeah, don't shut off that cheap H-1B supply)

Marketing Hack
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I agree that these concerns about H1Bs are about suppressing wages

If you raised the minimum pay for H1Bs above $100K annually, you'd still have the H1Bs, they just wouldn't be a source of people you can pay the equivalent of $15-$20 an hour to do your coding and run your systems for you.

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Totally not-crazy billionaire Elon Musk: All of us – yes, even you – must become cyborgs

Marketing Hack
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Holmes

So Elon Musk...

The man with the private rocket fleet. Said while speaking at the "World Government Summit" that humans need to be upgraded with "Honest! We'd never think of backdooring them" cybernetic minds.

Doesn't sound sinister at all! Nope, no sir-ee!

(Icon chosen due to absence of James Bond/Austin Powers icon.)

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Kids these days will never understand the value of money

Marketing Hack
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Paris Hilton

The problem with this is spending discipline

Behavioral economic studies have clearly demonstrated that people are disciplined about spending when they have to shell out banknotes instead of swiping a card or using a mobile payment service.

(Paris--because she doesn't worry about maxing out her credit card.)

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High tides: Boffins spy on dolphins baked on poisonous piscines

Marketing Hack
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Boffin

Further study required!

We need to develop salt-water toads, so we can see if the dolphins go in for toad-licking.

(BTW, I could have done without the tales of reindeer-herders drinking deer piss. But I suppose it's about the same as them breaking out a case of Bud Light after a hard day's herding.)

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Lovely. Now someone's ported IoT-menacing Mirai to Windows boxes

Marketing Hack
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Paris Hilton

Well, in Paris' case she used to be a little less selective if she had been drinking...

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All of Blighty's attack submarines are out of action – report

Marketing Hack
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Holmes

Convenient!!

Don't comment on submarine operations, because you don't have any operating submarines! Thank you for your time, Commodore Yossarian!

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Why software engineers should ditch Silicon Valley for Austin

Marketing Hack
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Re: A title is optional

Chicago is a great city. There is a lot of crime, but it is contained in certain neighborhoods. Schools in the city itself are not good.

Winter is a real PitA though. They don't call it "The Windy City" for nothing.

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Went out boozing in SF during Dreamforce or Oracle OpenWorld? Malware may have slurped your bank card

Marketing Hack
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Paris Hilton

Look on the bright side...

Normally you have to pay to get your privates sniffed and fondled :)

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Police drones, robo surgeons and chatbot civil servants. What could go wrong?

Marketing Hack
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I for one welcome our flying cop overlords!

As long as they are armed, and we get to choose a name for them in a public poll.

I vote for "Enforcement Drone 209" :)

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Marketing Hack
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Terminator

Re: Turing test

Simple--tell them "I love you" and if there isn't a sudden skreach of "Does not compute!" and a boom from the other end of the line--person!

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Marketing Hack
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Devil

Shoot them??

Not until we've harvested their useful organs first! And why shoot them when we can use them to train the next generation robotic surgeon--Surgery with Highly Intelligent Technology? (figure out the acronym for that yourself)

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Trump's immigration clampdown has Silicon Valley techies fearing for their house prices

Marketing Hack
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Stop

Well, first, the order has been rescinded by the courts...

So at least for the moment, you don't have to worry about people not being able to get back in the country.

Second, you are talking immigrants/legal residents/refugees from Iran, Sudan, Iraq, Syria, Libya and a few other countries. That's what? 1% of the population in Silicon Valley? Maybe 2%? Hardly enough to send the housing market into free fall.

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Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

David Cameron isn't doing anything...

Just sayin' :)

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Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

Marketing Hack
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Happy

Speaking of Trump administration similarities...

"We're going to have these worms--the best worms. They are going yuuugge. I mean enourmous. Nobody breeds worms like we do. People are talking about how great these worms are."

More seriously A) I don't think you can do a decent job of even the first Dune book in one movie and B) If you try, please deliver a better characterization of Baron Harkonnen than in the David Lynch movie.

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Disney shells out $100m in digital animator wage-fixing lawsuit

Marketing Hack
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Gimp

More corporate "capitalism for me, but not for thee" hypocrisy.

That Steve Jobs guy could have taught Monty Burns or Ebenezer Scrooge a thing or two about shady business practices.

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Twin brothers. One went into space. The other didn't. NASA reveals how their bodies differ

Marketing Hack
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Boffin

They should have corrected for the presence of the moustache!!

I bet it strains out a certain amount of vegetable intake for the affected brother, especially if soup is involved.

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Fear not, Europe's Privacy Shield is Trump-proof – ex-FTC bigwig

Marketing Hack
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Big Brother

The problem is extrene lack of transparency...

There are so many agencies, international sigint alliances and mendacious civil servants that you may never know what happens to your data. And the trump administration likes it that way.

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Trump's visa plan leaks: American techies first

Marketing Hack
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Stop

Re: This will surely backfire in the long term

There are plenty of other ways to enter the U.S., beyond the H1B program. H1Bs are supposed to be used for situations where you cannot find a qualified American or legal immigrant worker. Instead they are used to undercut wages and even directly replace existing American workers who already hold jobs.

If H1Bs were used as advertised, there would be very little controversy over them.

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Marketing Hack
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Go

Good!

The worst abuses are situations like Disney and Southern California Edison, where you can demonstrably point out that X number of American tech workers were fired and X number of tech workers were brought in from overseas to replace them.

India won't be happy (they were going to take last years increase in H1B permit fees to the WTO), but frankly I don't think they have much of a leg to stand on either legally or morally.

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Corn-based diet turns French hamsters into baby eating cannibals

Marketing Hack
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Headmaster

Re: Obviously...

That only applies to the Irish hamsters.

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Marketing Hack
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Devil

I for one welcome our giant hamster overlords!!

And I remind them that as a marketing professional, I am well positioned to recruit my fellow humans into slavery, endlessly running on my lords' upsized exercise wheels to generate electricity for the corn processing plant.

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God save the Queen... from Donald Trump. So say 1 million Britons

Marketing Hack
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Re: Special relationship? My ass.

To be fair, Theresa May pretty much has to bow to the Brexit gods--whether or not she really believes in the "people have spoken and it is my duty to make it happen" angle.

Her other option is going remainer and splitting the Conservatives. Take a look at the current Labour party situation if you want to see what that looks like.

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Marketing Hack
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Stop

Not that I like Donald Trump...

As an American, I have to live with his posturing, and now his ill-considered "ready, fire, aim" policy rollouts every day. However, I'm pretty sure that its in Britain's interest to try to get along with the guy--leader of Britain's biggest ally and helping counterbalance the EU's Brexit rejectionism and all that.

So unless he really does try to feel up some combination of Theresa/Elizabeth/Kate, then let's stop with the "I'm British and upset that the Americans didn't elect the President I wanted them to!" posturing.

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Fitbit plans layoffs – report

Marketing Hack
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Hard to maintain differentiation...

So Fitbit is fairly easily commoditized. Also, does it offer much in additional functionality- not really.

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NASA honors Apollo 1 crew 50 years after deadly launchpad fire

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Unhappy

Re: Important nitpick...

Nylon webbing and Velcro had been added well beyond spec by astronauts and launch pad crew. This was to hold things that flew around during ascent and zero g. Harmless with normal atmosphere or orbital pure oxygen pressure of 5-6 lbs/square inch.

However, during the fatal test, the capsule was filled with pure oxygen to normal atmospheric pressure at sea level, and then a further 5-6 lbs/square inch of oxygen to simulate relative pressure within the capsule vs. The vacuum of space. At that combined pressure of pure oxygen, all that Velcro and nylon burned fiercely.

Following the accident, I believe NASA reverted to using normal atmosphereic gases instead of oxygen. Plenty enough for the crew to breath, still worked to test retention of pressure , and no increased flammability of materials in the capsule.

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National Audit Office: UK's military is buying more than it can afford

Marketing Hack
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Happy

Maybe Britain will benefit from this alledged upcoming repricing of the F-35

"We will negotiate a new deal on the F-35. It will be a great deal, I mean spectacular--really first-class. People--important people--are talking about what a great deal this will be." (We need a Donald Trump icon)

More seriously, any improvement in the cost of this plane will be welcome. Let's hope they can get the thing working and out of the factory for a cost that is less expensive than just paying our enemies to go away.

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Forget Tony Stark's Iron Man – exosuits of the future will be spandex

Marketing Hack
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Coat

So the Iron Man of the future is going to look like Richard Simmons?

I may have to start rooting for the bad guys :)

(Mine is the old school armored exo-suit)

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