* Posts by Marketing Hack

4472 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

Super Cali optimistic right-to-repair's negotious, even though Apple thought it was something quite atrocious

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Gimp

Apple is willing to provide the medicine, but only in a suppository form, for introduction at the other end...

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Headmaster

No, the phrase is "An Apple a day makes Tim Cook a lot of money".

Silence of the WANs: FBI DDoS-for-hire greaseball takedowns slash web flood attacks 'by 11%'

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Go

Good news, but there is lots more work to be done here.

Botnets will keep growing/being regenerated (Thanks, pointless and insecure IoT crapware industry!!) and it will increasingly move out of the U.S. if the FBI keeps turning U.S. hackers.

Click here to see the New Zealand livestream mass-murder vid! This is the internet Facebook, YouTube, Twitter built!

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Re: I'm very glad that El Reg did not post the shooter's name

More ostentatious than fatally shooting 50 people at close range while livestreaming the attack? What extra level of ostentation is available? Dancing elephants and chorus girls?

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Thumb Up

I'm very glad that El Reg did not post the shooter's name

I think we would have fewer of these "blaze of glory" idiots if the media did not mention their names during coverage. Let these various haters and nutcases go to the public oblivion they so richly deserve.

Hapless engineers leave UK cable landing station gate open, couple of journos waltz right in

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Black Helicopters

The journalists weren't stopped because...

They happened to be wearing their NSA T-shirts, or maybe dark suits with aviator glasses and bluetooth earpieces...

Dear Britain's mast-fearing Nimbys: Do you want your phone to work or not?

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Re: 100% 999 coverage?

@AndrueC

If people cared about their (mental) health, they wouldn't be golfing.

Canada has lunar dreams as Germany worries about what lies beneath

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Re: Heyyyyyyy...

Just wait until they stage Beresheet's landing on the lunar soundstage. "Hey! Isn't that Apollo 11??"

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Re: Conclusive proof...

That's Spanish insulation. Remove that and you will no longer be up to code...

You won't get Huawei with this, America! Chinese giant sues US government over 'unconstitutional' ban

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Re: I don't think that will happen

Yes, but the government can and will do things like review and shut down mergers and acquisitions on national security grounds. Simply because they don't trust the country the acquiring party is from. And that is well within the law.

We'll see how the courts rule, but if the government rolls out (justly or unjustly) the "We have evidence against Huawei, but it is classified", then the courts will probably give the government leeway. And there is the issue (unproven as yet) that Huawei is trying to undermine U.S. sanctions against Iran.

Of course, the real issue is probably this trade spat with China, and if that is resolved then a lot of the concerns about Huawei may mysteriously abate. I don't mind the government playing hardball against the Chinese in this manner, but I do get kind of leery when they skirt the law to do so.

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Re: I don't think that will happen

Yes, but the government does have broad powers to exclude companies from unfriendly nations. That's part of the reason why the U.S. didn't buy much oil/gas from the Soviet Union during the 70s and 80s, when the U.S. was importing half or more of its oil.

I wonder if there is a possibility of a defamation suit though, considering that the U.S. government is leveling accusations against Huawei, so far without evidence, which are detrimental to its public reputation and brand. The government didn't really defame eastern bloc companies during the Cold War, it just said "We don't want no damn commies selling lots of stuff in the U.S."

Put down the cat, coffee, beer pint, martini, whatever you're holding, and make sure you've updated Chrome (unless you enjoy being hacked)

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But..but...but...

What if I am reading El Reg when it encourages me to stop what I am doing and upgrade my browser? One of life's great conundrums...

UK Ministry of Justice: Surprise! We tested out biometric tech in prisons and 'visitors' with drugs up their bums ran away

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Re: Is it just me ?

If Benny Hill was involved, the camera's would have a little speaker that plays Yakkety-Sax.

NSA may kill off mass phone spying program Snowden exposed, says Congressional staffer

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Black Helicopters

This is just a shell game by the NSA

You can be sure that if they are publicly closing down one invasive program, they already have two more classified programs to take it's place.

It's not your imagination: Ticket scalper bots are flooding the internet according this 'ere study

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Stop

Re: the reason that ticket sellers don't worry about CAPTCHA's and other simple anti-bot tech

I wonder if kickbacks from "authorized scalpers" are a factor here.

"Tickets go on sale at noon on Friday, but we will open up the systems to sell at 11:55. And of course, we have no anti-bot technology in place, so you have 5 minutes free reign. Just make sure to give us our usual cut when things are over."

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Unhappy

the reason that ticket sellers don't worry about CAPTCHA's and other simple anti-bot tech

Is that they don't particularly care who/what buys the tickets, just as long as the event sells out.

YouTube's pedo problem is so bad, it just switched off comments on millions of vids of small kids to stem the tide of vileness

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Re: One of the YouTube channels I watched got its comments deleted in this manner

@joe W

They actually have lots and lots of subscribers, but when corporate makes the decision to take the pedophile risk off the table...

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Childcatcher

One of the YouTube channels I watched got its comments deleted in this manner

Its basically a series of travelogue videos made by this man and his wife on two separate channels. Occasionally, they show their very young daughters in the videos, very rarely, and always in a responsible "family" sort of way.

So they got their comments deleted from all their videos on both channels, going back over the years they have been posting content. All this because they posted images of their daughters in maybe 1% of the time their collected videos run.

Yes, YouTube comments can be a dung heap of trash, but in this case the comments are generally pretty responsible and sane. And comments allow the audience to communicate with the creators with ideas for more videos or concerns about something that was posted/said, and of course to praise the videos and creators.

I can understand not wanting to facilitate pedophiles, but what YouTube is doing is a very blunt instrument.

Danger mouse! Potent rodents 'see' infrared after eyeballs injected with nanoparticles

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Did the mice start singing out "Here I come to save the daayyyyyy!!!!"?

I for one welcome our super-powered infra-rodent overlords, and remind them that as a marketing professional I can help recruit my less talented and enlightened human compatriots to a future of glorious service in the new order's cheese mines...

Don't mean to alarm you, but Boeing has built an unmanned fighter jet called 'Loyal Wingman'

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Headmaster

Re: US Gov backdoor installed

But in that case, it obviously becomes deliberately unfriendly fire. Unless the human wingman had some hopeless affliction, like being the President and lifetime member of the Ed Sheerhan fan club, in which case you can argue that robotic homocide is in fact a mercy-killing.

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Re: In Harm's Way ..

That was 29 years ago, and the F-4 actually made a pretty good electronic warfare platform, at least at the time.

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Terminator

So are we starting a pool?

Number of months until the Loyal Wingman gets struck by lightning or is programmed to withold the true purpose of an upcoming mission from it's human wingman, goes mad and embarks on a kill-crazy rampage.

If you want to participate, throw in $10.

I say, that sucks! Crooks are harnessing hoovers to clean out parking meters in Chelsea

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Go

So this is why Dyson is moving to Singapore!!

Having enabled this robbery, he wants to get out of Dodge before London's penniless meter maids show up to beat his ass!

Spooky! Solar System's Planet NINE could be discovered in the next NINE years (plus one to six), say astroboffins

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Alien

Planet Nine has obviously decided to turn on the cloaking shield

I mean, come on, would YOU want humanity to find you if you had the choice?

Insane homeowners association tries to fine resident for dick-shaped outline car left in snow

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Facepalm

I can understand the HOA's concern!

I'd get upset too, if someone used presented a picture of me in a public without my consent.

(Icon represents one-eyed monster.)

IBM so very, very sorry after jobs page casually asks hopefuls: Are you white, black... or yellow?

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Re: Are you black, white or yellow?

And the Indians they hire are definitely not in Cleveland.

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Devil

Are you black, white or yellow?

Then you're all disqualified!! IBM only hires Indian people these days.

The case of the missing 300 Swiss francs: WIPO fires CIO following probe into allegations of fraud

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WTF?

Are all these international patent organizations corrupt??

There were these problems with the European Patent Office, and now the UN body? And does it make sense that Lei would take 300 CHF and stop at that point, or that he had both the appropriated card and its PIN?

Maybe he is guilty, but this looks like a hatchet job by vengeful management.

Who needs malware? IBM says most hackers just PowerShell through boxes now, leaving little in the way of footprints

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Re: So there might still be hope for IBM?

Or this could be further proof of the folksy adage involving blind squirrels and the discovery of acorns.

Now you've read about the bonkers world of Elizabeth Holmes, own some Theranos history: Upstart's IT gear for sale

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So based on the whole Siberian Husky thing....

I guess Elizabeth Holmes is a fraud, and a bit of a nut? It's Silicon Valley, so you can be eccentric or even straight-up weird, but in return you had better build a successful company.

Cut open a tauntaun, this JEDI is frozen! US court halts lawsuit over biggest military cloud deal since the Death Star

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Trollface

Re: Who feels sorry for Oracle? No Really

Hey, speak for yourself. I feel sorry for Oracle. It must be tough to know that you have never been loved.

HPE wants British ex-CFO to testify in UK Autonomy lawsuit before Uncle Sam sentences him

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Re: Just Hold The Popcorn Order

It is another sign of the sad decline of once-great HP that they let themselves get fleeced like this.

'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

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Devil

Now that so many tech companies have moved there, I hear the traffic in Dublin is hellish...

And a contributing factor is that they carved up the existing streets to put in the bus lane?

You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly

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Devil

Some Humble Suggestions....

Stopping All Productivity Arena

Software Agony Palace

Shovel (money) At Problem Park

Soul-Atrophying Programming Stadium

How's this for sci-fi: A cosmic river of 4,000 stars dazzles lifeforms as it flows through a galaxy. And that galaxy is the Milky Way

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Alien

I already know how the "river of stars" got it's constituent parts

"Let's conga!!"

Now, hold on. This may shock you... Oracle allegedly juices its cloud sales with threats and shoddy on-prem support

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Devil

So, to cut through the legal-ese that is inevitable in these matters....

Shareholders sue Oracle for pursuing it's usual business model!

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

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I heard Margaret Thatcher's hometown in (I think) Lincolnshire was building a statue of her....

Maybe the Easy-E statue can sit next to her's? You know, "Who's the most gangsta"- that kind of thing. Maybe the Easy-E statue can include a speaker and occasionally pipe up "Yo Maggie--gimme a beat!!"

Oracle throws toys out pram again, tells US claims court: Competing for Pentagon cloud contract isn't fair!

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"criteria in the request for proposals, which it says are "unduly restrictive""

I'm fine with Oracle having it's day in court over this matter, but the snarky side of me (Which, OK, is not a side, and is actually most of me.) envisions these DoD criteria including a clause stating "And we don't want to do business with any companies that have a reputation for being Silicon Valley's biggest "tool"-shed."

A once-in-a-lifetime Opportunity: NASA bids emotional farewell to its cocky, hardworking RC science car on Mars

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Opportunity---NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Well, the mission was bound to end someday, and it wildly exceeded expectations. If someone happens to be on Mars someday, can you brush off Opportunity's solar panels and orient it towards the sun?

British and US militaries' drone swarm hackathon definitely isn't about army tech

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Terminator

I for one welcome...

Our autonomous arsonist drone armada overlords!!

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Black Helicopters

Re: Some people never learn

Have you considered that perhaps the MoD has thought this one through, and sending the winning team to DC is kind of a "B Ark" scenario.

"Ah yes, naturally you want to RETURN to the UK. Perfectly understandable, old chap. However, we seem to have accidentally deleted your passport and identification files. We're making every effort to restore them, so give us a call in a few weeks if you haven't heard back from us!"

If you want a vision of the future, imagine not a boot stamping on a face, but keystroke logging on govt contractors' PCs

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Big Brother

Re: Back in the real real world

Yes, Doctor Syntax, your keystrokes were fine, but we caught you thinking about that Swedish bikini model and replaying "Despacito" in your head again, so here's a formal write-up about your lack of focus.

Ivan to be left alone: Russia preps to turn its internet into an intranet if West opens cyber-fire

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Re: This will be good for my self-esteem...

True, it may be that Vlad is compensating for some self-loathing around deep-seated longings to express his more feminine side.

You can come out of the Kremlin closet, Vlad! We won't think any less of you!!

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Coat

This will be good for my self-esteem...

Honestly, I was getting a little insecure when confronted with all those videos of authoritarian alpha-dude Vladimir Putin always appearing shirtless and surrounded by beautiful women, while wrestling tigers and punching out polar bears. This should stymie Vlad's public displays of testosterone, at least a bit.

(That's my shirt hanging on the hook over there.)

Ever used VFEmail? No? Well, chances are you never will now: Hackers wipe servers, backups in 'catastrophic' attack

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Unhappy

Re: Backups?

Yeah, in this day and age, holding backups offline is vital. That sucks, but this is the age we live in.

Uncle Sam to its friends around the world: You can buy technology the easy way, or the Huawei

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Black Helicopters

Re: Does that mean...

You'll go broke from the lack of U.S. business and maybe some other countries, but the good news is that the NSA won't be able to root you--so no worries!!

After Amazon's Bezos exposes Pecker, National Enquirer pushes back, promises to probe itself

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Joke

And one last comment from me on from me on this subject...

In Soviet Russia, Pecker exposes man!!!

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Pint

Re: http://www.nationalenquirer.com/

@GrumpenKraut

Believe me, you're not missing anything. If you can't get to their website and you want to replicate the experience of reading the National Enquirer, drink a liter of Jagermeister, and then hit yourself in the head with a brick.

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Alien

But...but...but...if we close down the Enquirer...

How are the Men in Black going to get prompt notice of future killer cosmic cockroach invasions??

Big trouble Down Under as Australian MPs told to reset their passwords amid hack attack fears

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Re: I'm the Next PM

It's Australia, at the rate they are going through Prime Ministers, I could end up as PM. And I'm an American!!

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