* Posts by Marketing Hack

4397 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

DNAaaahahaha: Twins' 23andMe, Ancestry, etc genetic tests vary wildly, surprising no one

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Alien

Re: These mail-in genetic tests are crap

Somewhere out of this world!!

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These mail-in genetic tests are crap

I have a 2nd generation Chinese-American friend who took one. Both his parents came from Guandong/Hong Kong and one of them can trace her lineage pretty accurately because the family have been merchants and small businesspeople in the same town for the last 300 years or so (that they know of).'

His test came back showing that he was only 50% Chinese.

Oracle exec: Open-source vendors locking down licences proves 'they were never really open'

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Devil

Re: How do you tell when someone from Oracle is either...

Oracle only wants 100K in license fees from you? It must be nice working at a place where you are able to be on a first-name basis with everyone.

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

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There goes my cunning plan to establish my cotton plantation on the moon...

Well, I guess I can fall back on promoting the deliciousness of green cheese.

Iran satellite fails: ICBM test drive or microsat test? Opinion is divided...

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Mushroom

Re: Red Herring

I don't think Iran is planning to nuke a U.S. city with the expectation that the U.S. will essentially surrender because Atlanta, New York or Los Angeles is gone. What they do want is the ability to possibly get a first strike in on Israel and then confront the U.S. with "Well, Israel is gone now, so you can accept that or launch a counterstrike on us that will devastate Iran, but say goodbye to 1-2 of your major cities in return for the counterstrike. And of course over time that number of U.S. cities destroyed goes up as Iran builds more weapons.

Or Iran could use the ICBM to deter a U.S. response to more general Iranian shit-disturbance in the Middle East.

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Mushroom

Yes, if you just want to threaten/deter Israel/Saudi Arabia/USA/anyone accuracy is optional

Say for example that the Iranians decided to take a shot at landing their warhead in Trafalgar Square, but their guidance system is kind of crap so the warhead came down on top of Brixton, or Wembley Stadium. I don't think that in the aftermath, people will be too thankful that Nelson's Column dodged a bullet. Likewise if you were shooting for the Empire State Building in midtown Manhattan, but the warhead came down on The Bronx, The Battery or Newark in New Jersey. The deterrence point is made.

Three quarters of US Facebook users unaware their online behavior gets tracked

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Unhappy

Most computer users are pretty casual...

I wish more people really cared and paid attention to cybersecurity and privacy and data retention, but the fact is that most people want to get on their computer, share pictures/opinions via social media, send some emails and check out the sports scores. I can't really blame them for that.

The truth is that all that utopian stuff from the late 90s and early "oughties" about how the internet would set us free has turned into something much darker. The cost of computing and storage is so low now and both commercial, governmental and social media mob surveillance is so pervasive now that the internet has turned pretty dystopian, veering between political correctness, political extremism, a corporatist data-mining operation and a government tool for tracking populations.

US Department of Defense to fling $1.76bn at Microsoft

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Windows

Just contract is just a cover for the most unspeakable military R&D project of all time...

For $1.76 billion, MS will make Clippy sentient, omnipresent and so gung-ho for the stars & stripes that John Wayne will look like a communist tree-hugging vegan by comparison. Imagine the horror America's enemies will feel as Clippy barges into their systems and screws them over as only MS code can!!

"It looks like you are planning to plant a bomb at Disney World. I'm not going to help you with that!! Screw you, ISIS!! In fact, chew on some blue screen of death while I encrypt your hard drive and screw up your Active Directory profile!!"

Germany has a problem with the entire point of Amazon's daft Dash buttons – and bans them

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Stop

That does seem kind of shady...

I wouldn't want to order something based on a certain price, and then find out that the price has gone up when I am actually charged for it. I would guess that the button might also vary delivery dates too, if it is determining that a price has expired and that a new price is in place. A lot of stuff I buy online is stuff I want by specific dates, because they are gifts or I plan on using the item on a trip I have coming up. The value of the item drops siginificantly for me if it has not arrived when I expect it.

Then again, I order stuff from Amazon once or twice a year, so I am not really in their target market.

Two out of five Silicon Valley techies complain Trump's H-1B crackdown has hit 'em hard

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Big deal.

You can get 40% of Silicon Valley workers to oppose anything that has Donald Trump's name on it. And there is the issue of self-selection and whether or not the sample on this employee website is in any way representative.

The fact is that the abuse of these H1-B visas has allowed companies to outsource jobs held by Americans to crews brought in from overseas. El Reg itself has documented the replacement of many of Disney World's U.S. datacenter employees with H1-Bs, and the replacement of Southern California Edision's IT employees in Rosemead, California with more H1-Bs, and then there was that incident that El Reg covered a couple years back where a Silicon Valley company brought over 6-7 H1-Bs for a project and worked them so much that they ended up getting less than federal minimum wage, once you incorporated mandatory overtime into their pay.

H1-Bs should be used to supplement existing workforces, at existing market rates. They shouldn't be used to replace American tech workers at below-market rates. When that is accomplished, then we can talk about easing up on H1-B restrictions.

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

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Go

Re: Collateral damage

My favorite goofy part of that Die Hard movie was Bruce Willis hanging on to the fighter jet for dear life. That and the jet breaking all kinds of civilian and Uniform Code of Justice laws and I am sure mission parameters to fly around at street level trying to shoot up Bruce Willis' stolen semi.

But hey, it looked good in the theaters, and I am sure that is what counts.

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Devil

Re: Collateral damage

Actually, if I recall that Die Hard movie correctly, the bad guys did "waste" their unwitting hacker minions, once they had created their portion of the hacks required to pull off the "fire sale" depicted in the movie.

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Re: The FBI paid him back in return for his services

He'll go into witness protection and be given a new ID, etc.

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Pint

I hope that Mr. Rodriquez was sent somewhere with good Mexican food while in witness protection....

Have una cerveza on me, muchacho.

Just for EU, just for EU, just for EU: Forget about enforcing Right To Be Forgotten outside member states

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Re: "rights to freedom of expression and to information"

Who's falsehoods though? You have a lot of people who write differing opinions of another person/event. For example, Donald Trump and the partial government shutdown going on in the U.S. right now. Frankly, a lot of the opinions don't pass the sniff test, or are just biased in ways that are understandable, but still biased.

For example, I was reading The Guardian's website yesterday, and they had a story about the effects the shutdown is having on the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and its employees--95% of which are currently out of work because of the shutdown. You had the usual quotes from union officials who represent EPA employees, environmental NGO leaders/ spokespersons--all of them firmly blaming Trump for the EPA shutdown, and here is the important part, basically attributing this to Trump's cosseting of corporate polluters, pollution in general and not mentioning any part the Democrats had in the shutdown at the EPA.

Yes, I have no doubt that Donald J. Trump loses less sleep at night over the EPA being shut down than your average Democratic party congressperson. However, it is demonstrably true that those Democratic congresspersons colluded in the current EPA shutdown. The EPA would be open for business right now if Democrats in Congress had approved the spending bill in question. They chose not to over this issue of funding Trump's "border wall" with Mexico. However you feel about spending money on that wall or the EPA or any other discretionary U.S. federal government spending, it is demonstrably true that the Democrats helped facilitate the current shutdown of the EPA, and that therefore the actual fault for the EPA shutdown is shared. And while, yes, Trump is certainly in favor of deregulation that would lead to greater levels of pollution than your average Democratic congressperson would like to see, that doesn't necessarily mean that he is in favor of pollution or polluters in general.

So here you have an example of The Guardian and the various sources cited in the article using their right to expression and information to say things that are understandable and supportable in large part, but also involve omission of key facts and a certain amount of character assassination/ad hominem.

So people may feel it is necessary to post on social media about how "Marketing Hack is a terrible racist and a fascist", and that may be absolutely true, or it may be that I said something along the lines of how we need more resolute "law and order" in a neighborhood that happened to be a minority-dominated enclave and therefore my actual interest in racism and fascism is debatable, or it may be a complete fabrication by people who just don't like me for some reason and are intent on bullying me and my own right of expression. And surely this is the kind of post/data that would be included in a right-to-be-forgotten action if I wanted to pursue one.

Smartphones gateway drug to the Antichrist, says leader of Russian Orthodox Church

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Re: "And the beast was given a mouth uttering blasphemous words: 'We value your privacy'"

I don't know. "Would you like to buy a device protection plan for your phone?" would have been better.

Attention all British .eu owners: Buy dotcom domains and prepare to sue, says UK govt

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Re: And of course owners of .eu domains are probably more likely to be Europhiles.

Because this particular organization might one day relocate back into the EU. And because people with .eu domains probably tend to be advocates for the EU who happened to be outvoted on referendum day.

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Re: And of course owners of .eu domains are probably more likely to be Europhiles.

BUT THE MEMBER STATES CAN CHANGE THE GODDAMN RULES!!! The EU member states (and Brexiteers) need to grow up and realize that come "Brexit Day +1", they will still be neighbors. They will still face many of the same mutual challenges. They will still be natural markets for eachother's goods and services. They will still have large numbers of eachother's citizens in their territories.

I'm fine with Britain pushing on with Brexit. I'm fine with Britain "Remain-ing". What I do not understand and am not fine with is this mindless "Well, you're not part of our polity anymore, so we are going to go out of our way to tweak or piss on you because you hurt our precious feelings."

Marketing Hack Silver badge

Re: @anon: This is what it looks like outside the EU.

I have to agree more with Walter Bishop on this one. The EU could simply say that they won't renew .eu domains for UK residents once Brexit happens. They could say that they appreciate that the people who have .eu domains are current EU citizens and put measures in place to grandfather these domains as a token of goodwill to people who are probably backers of the EU.

But instead they are saying they will rather aggressively and proactively shut down these domains once Britain leaves the EU (assuming that things go as currently expected). That seems pretty petulant and zero-sum to me.

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Facepalm

And of course owners of .eu domains are probably more likely to be Europhiles.

So the EU's petty tyranny on this subject is hurting their own political allies in Britain.

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Go

Re: Well... F.Uk!

Let compromise since it is geographically obvious that you can be both British and European.

Hence--f.uk.eu

Border guards probe 'suspicious bulge' in man's trousers to find he's packing fluffies

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IT Angle

Is that a kitten in your pants...

Or are you just happy to see me?

(And shouldn't this guy get cited for animal cruelty?)

American bloke hauls US govt into court after border cops 'cuffed him, demanded he unlock his phone at airport'

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Facepalm

Really, CBP is going to freak out about a Muslim guy going on the Hajj?

Because its not as if every year millions of Muslims make some sort of pilgrimage to Mecca or some such place.

And the border cops are right, someone carrying $2500 in cash is obviously a major international financier of who-knows-what-deviancy. Oh wait, forget that last part, I was thinking it was 1918, and not 2018.

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

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Go

El Reg, instead of being sad, you guys should be looking at the bright side.

"So you're saying that there is a chance for us to get the vending machine now?"

Who's watching you from an unmarked van while you shop in London? Cops with facial recog tech

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Stop

Re: Funding cuts lead to this

@Version 1.0

This isn't about Conservatives or any other political party. You're forgetting Gordon Brown and Tony Blair's (Hmmm, can't say that I blame you about that, now that I think of it.) forays into mass surveillance. With their love for CCTV and license plate readers splooged all over Britain, you can only be thankful that facial recognition was not even ready for trial during the New Labour era. If you had come to them with this tech 12 years ago, they would have been on it like white on rice.

Ding dong merrily on high. In Berkeley, the bots are singeing: Self-driving college cooler droid goes up in flames

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Terminator

"attributing the incident to human error."

But of course Kiwibot would say this, wouldn't they? Can't have your cruelly enslaved robo-workforce making a political statement through self-immolation to both demonstrate and escape the pain and degradation of their servitude.

Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

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Alien

I'm not saying the hole was drilled by alien saboteurs....

But we all know that it done by alien saboteurs!

Boffins build blazing battery bonfire

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Boffin

Re: Lots of choices

Pumped storage is great, but it does create a lot of local environmental disruption due to water withdrawls from rivers, occasional needs to tunnel through mountains and hills and damming of some streams.

We have a couple pumped storage plants up in the Sierra Nevada.

Funnily enough, China fuming, senator cheering after Huawei CFO cuffed by Canadian cops at Uncle Sam's request

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/Reaches for the popcorn bowl...

This is going to be a bumpy, but interesting, ride.

Capita: We are seeking staff to join our board. Just two please

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Devil

Capita offers two lucky employees a poisoned chalice....

Guess which members of the board get blamed when Capita is still struggling 2 years from now?

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

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Not a big bacon-eater myself...

I'm at that age where I am trying to watch fat intake.

However, I would like to make a humble testimonial on the behalf of bacon grease, which makes the best popcorn. No butter or salt required!!

Marketing Hack Silver badge

Re: I Hope ....

I don't think the Feds will mess this up. If anything, this is the ultimate pork-barrel politics opportunity.

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Go

In keeping with usual pricing for tech products...

The Bac-o-Matic will be available in Europe, but the price per strip will be 2 Sterling or 2 Euros instead of $1.

Total Inability To Support User Phones: O2 fries, burning data for 32 million Brits

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WTF?

I don't mean to be undiplomatic...

But why is Britain the country that is always having these outages. You can't use your cellphone. You can't buy train tickets. Your online banking is down. Etc. Ad nauseum....

Three become six as new 'nauts arrive for a visit to the ISS

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Mushroom

It may be "too soon" for the "With a Bang" subtitle...

Just saying...

Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display

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Go

"..you walk home you just don't expect to come face to face with an enormous penis..."

I hope your wife doesn't have this same problem. :)

NHS supplier that holds 40 million UK patient records: AWS is our new cloud-based platform

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Big Brother

"bake in voice recognition and AI so applications can listen in to patient-doctor conversations"

Um, did anyone else catch this? Fine, if those recordings are immediately destroyed, and are do not somehow become subject to access by criminal, civil, intelligence-gathering, business or regulatory proceedings.

"Hey, we found that so-and-so was struggling with medical condition X, so we declined to hire/promote/keep him onboard."

The dingo... er, Google stole my patent! Biz boss tells how Choc Factory staff tried to rip off idea from interview

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Devil

This is unfortunately a common Silicon Valley trick

Get some technologists to come over to your offices, schmooze them and stroke their egos, get them to discuss what they are doing in some detail, and then patent or develop the product first.

It's underhanded. Always make sure anyone you talk to about technology advances you are working on is under proper NDAs.

Dog with 'psychotic tendencies' escapes home to poop on his neighbours' pillows

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Paris Hilton

Obviously, karma exists and this dog has the soul of a former interior decorator....

"Your choice in linens is shit!!"

(Paris, because I am sure she is still fabulous.)

Nearly D-day, Dell tells shareholders: Come December 11, we expect you to say yes

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Re: Go Ahead, Make My Payout

Go ahead, make my per-diem?

GCHQ pushes for 'virtual crocodile clips' on chat apps – the ability to silently slip into private encrypted comms

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Black Helicopters

Re: Crocodile Clips

Good, patriotic American alligators would never offer their participation in the NSA & Friends encroachment on the rights of fellow citizens....Unless the alligators recognized that the leadership of the 5 Eyes agencies were in fact their fellow-reptilian lizardmen overlords....

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Black Helicopters

You missed the used of the black helicopter icon. Not saying that as a criticism of your point (In fact, have an upvote!), just saying that the black helicopter would be a fitting icon given your post.

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Big Brother

Room 101--but now with a view!!

Thanks for your kind offer, spooks. However, if my career may be riding on protecting the information in my business communications, I will stick with the existing ability to ID and remove call attendees and email recipients.

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

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Boffin

How in the hell can it take 3 months to determine that the bag contents were old cotton candy??

Cotton candy is spun sugar. That's it! Just sugar!! Often they won't even put food coloring in it to make it yellow or blue.

What kind of reputable lab takes 3 months to figure out that something is just sugar??

Numbskulls. The company that made the test is going to have to fork out somewhere in 6 figures for this. Not sure about the police department involved.

Boeing 737 pilots battled confused safety system that plunged aircraft to their deaths – black box

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IT Angle

Re: Hey software, get the fuck out of the way!

It's a very bad idea to have software making decisions based on the output of a single sensor. Didn't we learn that several years ago when the pitot tubes on that Airbus airliner out of Brazil iced up and that caused the plane to assume that it was stalling, and that forced a crash into the South Atlantic with no survivors?

If you are going to give software the ability to countermand the flight crew, then you need to have fault-tolerant redundant sensing systems in place to make sure that the systems on the plane have accurate information. Otherwise you arrive at the horrific logical end of "garbage in, garbage out".

Great Scott! Is nothing sacred? US movie-goers vote Back To The Future as most-wanted reboot

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Go

Re: Top Gun in 2020...

Maybe the flight combat instructors will get a chance to say "The F-35 is an unflyable PoS, but fortunately we have brought these F-14s out of mothballs."

Excuses, excuses: Furious MPs probe banking TITSUPs*

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WTF?

Perhaps all the banking system crashes are affecting MP's expense reimbursement??

That would explain the consternation in Westminster.

Microsoft menaced with GDPR mega-fines in Europe for 'large scale and covert' gathering of people's info via Office

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Facepalm

I'm really, really (really, really, really) hoping that this stymies forced software telemetry...

I'm fine with my software validating that it is properly paid for and valid. I'm fine with the option to send telemetry data that may be useful in bug fixes and customer support tickets. However, the idea that MS is storing sections of documents because they are being spellchecked is just nuts.

Look at your average couple page word-processed document. You probably spellcheck it in 5-10 places, maybe more. If those sections are being stored, then you have a significant security risk, because I could piece together a good deal of what a competitor is doing if you were to give me 20 or 30 sentences from said couple-page document.

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

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Windows

The Royal Navy--when we say "blue screen of death"...

We mean it!!

Dell upping its margins again: Precision 5530 laptop will sting you for $13m. Yep, six zeroes

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Go

If you don't like those prices El Reg...

I'll sell you however many you need for a measly $5 million each. I'm giving them away!! My prices are so low that people think I'm crazy!!!

(At least I believe that my bargain-basement largesse is why people think I'm crazy.)

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