Posts by Tawakalna

zut alors!

I'd be very interested to hear the respective comments from the crews afterwards. Did they surface so they could shout at each other? "Hop off you frogs! Clear off Jacques Delors" "no-eh-oh, mais you get out of ze way, you English seamen-peoples, zis is our ocean de la mer, we were 'ere au premiere, we like very much!"

<sigh> perhaps if we constructed a giant metal badger....

cruel?

"But to drag me all the way to Aberdeen was just cruel."

not as cruel as cheating (or trying to cheat) on his Mrs, I dare say. They didn't make him go after all, he *chose* to go. He got his just desserts, and can't really blame anyone other than himself.

It also once again goes to show that you can't trust anyone or anything on the interwebs.

but the green comet is already here..

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2009/04feb_greencomet.htm

..so watch out for man-eating begonias in your front garden!

stoke me a clipper..

..by eck, us'll be back fer't Christmas (or even Easter)

what if the crew wake up and realise that their Red Dwarf existence was all a simulation and that they're just fading second-rate actors on a kitchen-sink soap opera long past it's best? :)

well shucks Cleetus..

..us limeys sure are yeller. Why, y'all don' see us standin' up to that thar Hitler feller or nuthin'..... guess if we wuz brave like those fine folks in the US of A, we'da stayed at home until the bad guys declared war on us (while screwin' our so called Allies fer every last cent) then joined in halfway through un say we dun wun it fer the team.

And then later we cud invade little Asian countries in the name of dmawcrawcy, freedom and the American way...

(any chance we can have a burning American flag icon? drives the colonials up the wall, dont'cha know, old bean! pip-pip!)

Paris cuz she's our best friend now and she ain't never been bothered if mine's yeller or not, y'all!

doubleplusungood..

"Inpartyobs access is limited to Inparty members exclusiwise. Unauthoaccess is considered capital thinkcrime punished by execute. Unauthoaccess indication must be reported to nearplus Thinkpol office. Conform is doubleplusgood!"

I s'pose something like this is why the 'Ouse of Lords was abolished during the Revolution that brought BB and the Party to power.

ownlife, thoughtcrime, sexcrime, telescreens - all there innit?

fled on foot?

wot no transporter harmonic trace for the Federation ship in orbit around early 21stC Earth to detect?

hmmm, I smell a breach of the Temporal Prime Directive on the way. Transparent aluminium is already here so what other technology from the 24thC might we be seeing soon?

my ears are stuck :(

Losers?

"FECK OFF YOU PIPE SMOKING FERRET BOTHERING CLOTH CAPPED LOSERS ."

I have never lost my cloth cap. or, more appropriately, 'av ne'rl ustus cap, thi big southern jessie!"

I did however lose my ferret once, but i wasn't bothered. I just smoked my pipe and contemplated the mysteries of nature.

Britney Spears?

"This Bill will cover images where "the predominant impression conveyed is that the person shown is a child despite the fact that some of the physical characteristics shown are not those of a child"."

so will the Hit Me Baby One More Time video be covered under the new Act of Please Won't Somebody think Of The Children 2009?

will Bugs Bunny impersonating a female rabbit count as extreme cartoon porn? Jessica Rabbit? (well she was pretty hot) or Daphne out of Scooby-Doo? After all, the bad guys state at the end of every Scooby Show that she and the others are "kids" so there you go Osshifer, case proven, off the entire country goes to the pervs register except those miserable tw*ts like Whakki-Jakki and Gordo who've never seen Scooby Doo.

more to the point..

what if you've actually got the album? Mine's up in the loft with several big boxes full of other vinyl. i hope Inspector Knacker doesn't scwatch them when he confiscates them, my Gong Flying teapots is worth a fortune!

onoes!!!!!

I bought the album back in the 70s with my pocket money, back in the days when record covers were full size. I bought it when I was 13, does this mean I can now expect a dawn raid from the Morality Police, and will it go worse for me because it's a full-size album cover and not a poxy Whackopaedyphile .jpg?

I was listening to this story on R4 on the way into work and roaring with laughter, but it is rather tragic that some self-righteous busybodies can exert such power, even if it is at Wackypedia's expense. That you can see the cover on Amazon's site (££££££) pretty much tells you what you need to know - if you're a big business and you have some cash to throw at corporate lawyers, you're safe from interference by the Morality Police cos you might sue them! but if you're a charitable foundation (even Wookiepeddia) or worse still, some poor sap on his own, you're fair game for the Mary Whitehouses of the interweb. This is nothing more than a flexing of the muscles on the part of the IWF to see what they can get away with.

tolerate this kind of populist publicity-grabbing censorship that actually does nothing to protect real abused kids and you migth as well throw your rights and freedoms out of the Windows. Pretty soon Iran is going to look like a haven of tolerance in comparison.

I'll get me burquah.... (a hand-me-down from Paris, naturally)

natural selection?

but sadly in this case thanks to human medical intervention the moron survived to breed more morons later in life.

great story, but....

the reason he only gets three years...

..whilst drug smugglers get life or execution is that sex-tourists, paedo or not, bring a lot of money into Thailand and significantly contribute to the national economy, whilst the drug money stays in the hands of Burmese-military backed gangs up in the north of the country.

crash landing

oh, good one! :)

Is the answer...

..that global warming is a big phat phaicque?

I don't actually think that, but I am starting to wonder if maybe we've all been had.

The particular irony being...

..that the *Al-Quaeda Training Manual* in question was originally downloaded from...

the U.S. Department of Justice website.

I've been following this case since it came to the fore some time ago, and have a friend at Nottingham Univ who keeps me informed of developments. The gist of the matter running on for so long is that the Univ over-reacted and abdicated their academic responsibility by handing the matter over to the Police, who also over-reacted, then when it was discovered that there was no actual case to answer, couldn't bring themselves (either of them) to admit that there'd been a mistake. Shamefully, habeas corpus seemed to be asleep at the time.

But, as has been noted several times already in the UK media

http://www.ukwatch.net/article/rushing_to_nottingham039s_defence

if the two concerned didn't have brown skin and Middle-Eastern sounding names, no-one would have batted an eyelid as the material was perfectly legitimate and being used for appropriate research purposes. The non-issue of Yezza's immigration status in the UK was cynically used by the authorities to *muddy the waters* as the University were fully aware of his staus as was later confirmed. The real issue here is not one of terrorism or its prevention, but of quasi-institutionalised racism, and personal and professional freedom. Having said that. at least neither of them had a pistol emptied in the back of their heads whilst on their way to work....

A very shameful reflection on the current state of affairs in Nu-Labor's gulag island.

Virgin Customer Service?

"VMs customer services are now done by a company called CISAS, best bit of the whole sorry experience really."

No, just as bad in my experience. Every time I ring up to moan about the actual 1.7Mb rather than the supposed up to 8Mb, at some point they will cut the call (and then claim it was an *accident* or that they've got no record of that... lying scum.)

VM aDSL is one of the few available options where I stay, fortunately despite my whining it's not my home provider *at home-home* - that's BT. So I'm knackered either way now. At least the BT connection runs at an average of 4Mb out of *up to* 8Mb.

(yes I know the difference between Megabits and megabytes thank you. Don't be so patronising.)

multi-tasking Hilton..

"but she can't talk with a d*ck in her mouth while (home) video cameras are running."

bet she could if she really tried! :)

She's got my vote already, except I'm not 'merkin so can't vote in their 'lekshuns, and she's not running despite what cartoon pictures are vaguely coalescing in her pretty if somewhat underdeveloped brain.

Could she be any worse than Dubya Dunce (No) or Ronald Raygun (No) <? >

and this is a problem because...?

"Previous examples have included a Kaspersky update quarantining Windows Explorer"

so Kaspersky was doing it's job right then! :)

so where did Obi-Wan b*gger off to?

on those Martian pix that were floating around a while back, my peridolia sensor observed that Mars was actually Tatooine, to wit, Obi-Wan Kenobi on a Krayt Dragon pretending to be the Little Mermaid, with at least *two* clearly distinguishable Jawa Sandcrawlers as well as loads of other stuff that I can see (oddly no-one else can, must be an alien conspirancy!)

So where are they now? All b*ggered off since they realised the silly Earth people were up to mischief, we saw all this coming during the Clangers. Earth people come with space podules, aliens hide under the ground, humans walk around for a bit and leave some junk behind, then go home, aliens come back out, steal the space junk and build hot-water central heating out of it!

I'm onto you, aManFromMars; you just want a free boiler. Can't say I blame you, with gas prices the way they are....

Lord Chief Justice Cocklecarrot...

"Who exactly are these singing Wikipedes, Mr Counsel for the Defence?"

a online beat clique, m'lud; popular amongst young people and anyone called Darth Derek, I believe...

doon with Broon...

"No lets see HMRC bringing to book the great and the good who think tax doesn't apply to them."

that would be most of the Noo-Labour glitterati and media darlings then.

Of course, a completely independent and objective public enquiry can be set up to investigate this matter and whitewash erm sorry I mean conclude that HM Govt acted quite properly and above board and it was all the fault of the BBC/a scientist/smokers/car owners/men or whoever is the current bete noire of Harriet Harman's focus group.

Paris, 'cos I'd rather she was in power than this Noo-Labour shower of sh*t.

@David renaud..

nice pictures! got any more?

it's a lot less bovva..

..with a hovva.

or not.

yeh, right...

..like we're going to let some snivelling little snotty student into OUR server room (rather close to Boltonia in fact) Why can't they do a course in "Why domain users are such useless muppets" or "Why that stupid bint in HR can't even turn her pc on without help but she can cover it in teddy pairs and pictures of her ugly kids" or "Why does everyone think that we're a f*cking domestic repair drop-in centre that will happily fix radios, dvd players and kettles for no extra money" or "Why do the stupid c*nts ring us up because they can't make their Tesco-online shopping page work" - now those are the questions I want answered!

Actually i really don't, I just wanted a rant :)

cr*p cutaway...

..my bumper-book of Eagle cutaways is much better, especially my Short Belfast one. Who needs cr*ppy Yankonian 747s with evil kill-tech, a Belfast with a couple of Daleks in does the job much better!