Posts by Ebeneezer Wanktrollop

Not biased then?

'The research, from SquareTrade which flogs extended warranties'

Of course a quarter of them fail. No, honest Guv - we researched it! We're not in any way biased towards the results of this survey so best you buy an extended warranty just in case.

Re: Xander / AC

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b) Countries so backward that most have never even heard of an atom bomb"

1.) North Korea

2.) Iran

3.) ex-soviet States

4.) China

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China has been using nuclear power for decades? Home planet check - over.

Super Powers at 5 years old?

'never ever leave a cat alone with a child under five'

So at the age of 5 do children automatically learn the secret art of the ninja and are able to fight off these ferocious beasts with a quick flip of the nunchaku?

Agree

I live in North Wales although I am a car driver and don't own a bike. Regardless, the fat, lazy,bullied as a child, micropenis equipped wankplods still sit on their arses in inconspicious places targetting said drivers so they can deliver their devine retribution upon the driving population as a feel-good fix for the slovenly, childish, can't get a girlfriend coz I'm such a twat bastards that they are!!!

I don't like them much.

External Force!

Hmmm. I wonder if this is the same 'external force' as that reported in the Dyatlov Pass incident?

Sky - meh!

'by Sky, which has inked plans to launch a subscription-based TV channel dedicated entirely to 3D programming'

Sky? Charging for yet another boring, shitty, advert infested channel? What this time? Reality Transexual Eccles Cake Makers in 3D Tropical Island Swap with RAF Top Brass Lingerie Lieutenants?

Arse. Move on. Nothing in any dimension to see here.

Was Vista on the laptops?

If so I'd rather have the potatoes anytime.

Why design by Bertone?

Let it be designed by Apple - call it the Twatmobile and watch egg salesrocket as jobstards get pelted on a Global scale - what merriment!

A good idea

I think it's a spiffing idea to litter the entire United States with these Elmer deviouring sesspit portals. Bring it on I say!

Recognition ability?

Could they be programmed to prey only on the likes of Kleeneezee reps, wheelclampers, MP's and Big Brother housemates etc.? You know - stuff that is a waste product of the planet already?

Non tossers need not apply

Really, would you wear this tosstastic timepiece? Even Roj Blake would turn his curly mop Westwards at the thought of having this spectacular cockclock adorn his person.

If I see anyone wearing this, talking to his / her wrist like a member of some spoonfed galactic landing party - I'll urinate on them. I will - promise.

Did you know.............

That prior to today, the previous Microsoft school agreement required every computer, whether it is a Mac or running Linux - still required a Windows licence? No way I hear you cry. Yes way, and god knows how they got away with it for so long.

Oh yes, if you wanted Office on the school agreement that was the same - school has 1,000 computers, 1,000 Office licences then please - whether you use OpenOffice or only install it on 1 PC.

Makes you think who the pirates really are.

Bill Gates because he started the whole TossSoft scenario.

The crime here gentlemen....

Taking your computer to PC World in the first place!! Why have a bunch of ill-educated on-offtards inspect your machine? And what pillock would leave pictures of his missus in full landing gear and vegetable paraphernalia on his PC prior to repair anyway?

The bit about websites downloading far dodgier material to your PC unawares? Bollocks! Not In 15 years of perusing jugtastic tinterweb content have I discovered anything more horrendously off topic than a popup for a Macbook! Yes, sick I hear you cry, but not kiddy fiddling material. If it’s on your drive then you put it there – guilty as charged and off to the castration chamber for you!

Rename it!

Searches your hard drives for images!!!!

May is well call it 'The Divorce Box'

Frickin weather?

Why does HTC think mobile users are obsessed with the bloody weather!!! Even blended it into the home screen now - we Brits don't need it! -Permanently put the word SHITE up on it in a bold font and save on the data charges for continually updating and rotatting the weather icons from shite to mildly shite.

Bah!

Doesn't compute

They sent people to the moon 40 odd years ago but can't even replicate the technology they had then using modern manufacturing processes - it's just a bloody rocket! Update the computer systems to current PC spec - not that you need to as it ran fine back then - what's the problem??? It is after all, fuel and plastic and metal plus no R&D because you've already done it once - COPY IT!!!

Yeah the theorists will be out on this one. News likes this makes me wonder if they're right.

Meh!

Whilst on HMS Brilliant back in the early 90's I and a few other drunken matelots robbed a massive Sol parasol from outside the harbour bar in Naples and took it down the mess. Next morning nobody could suss out how we managed to bring such a monstrous piece of equipment down the ladder in one piece. After several hours of head scratching we cut it into 3 and carted it over the side.

Just shows how alcohol can make mortal man produce miracles